Strange Animals (13 page)

Anderson Cooper said, “But the counterargument to that is that religion, specifically if we're talking about Christianity here, is that it gives guidelines by which people live their lives—and that in turn helps to ensure order and certain moral values in our society.”

Karen said, “Although that seems like a valid argument, it's not. All of the religious laws—in the case of Christianity, it's the Ten Commandments—are subject to context. Take the commandment that I think we'd all agree is the most ironclad, the one that pretty much everyone agrees on:
Thou shalt not kill
.
After Osama bin Laden was killed, your network aired footage of Americans celebrating in the streets. Not only did Americans, most of whom are Christian, not care that a murder had just been committed, they celebrated it. Now, as an atheist, I have no problem with Bin Laden being killed. I think it was a good thing to do. The world is better without him. But if you're a Christian, whether or not you agree that the world is a better place because of his death, that commandment should obligate you to protest his murder, which violates a direct order from your God. But I think you'd be hard-pressed to find one in ten Christians who would actually support that stance. So in that case even
Thou shalt not kill
gets thrown out the window.

“And it obviously doesn't stop with Bin Laden. You have Christian governors in states like Texas and Oklahoma, both of whom are devout Christians, executing people in prison left and right. You have plenty of Christian members of the military killing people every day in the Middle East, and you have Christian citizens here supporting those killings. And I'm not arguing that it makes them bad people to support our military actions. I'm arguing that it makes them bad Christians, or not even Christians at all. Most people aren't as religious as they think. And that's okay. Ultimately, if I could have one idea sink into the culture as a result of what I'm doing, it's that. It's okay to reject religion openly. Most people already are, in one way or another, but they still identify with the religion they were indoctrinated into when they were young. If there's no other reason to reject religion, people have to understand that science and technology are really our only hope for the future—especially in a time when we're facing things like climate change and overpopulation. And I don't think you can have a religious scientist.”

Anderson Cooper said, “Well, I think there's evidence to the contrary. There are plenty of scientists who are also religious. Francis Collins, the scientist who mapped the human genome, is famously religious.”

Karen said, “There are absolutely religious people who practice scientific techniques, but they're not scientists. An actual scientist who has devoted his or her life to the pursuit of truth via the scientific method—I'm talking about making a hypothesis, gathering evidence through experimentation, and drawing a conclusion about that hypothesis—could never logically come to the conclusion that a god exists. There's literally no factual evidence. To believe in a god, you have to be the type of person who believes that the world and existence is fantastical, that it has mythological elements that are not only real, but more important than the physical elements we can actually interact with and measure. A real scientist simply wouldn't be able to do that. So, while you can have religious people practicing certain aspects of science, you can never have a scientist who is religious.”

Anderson Cooper said, “That's kind of a semantics issue, isn't it?”

Karen said, “I think semantics matter—and I'd guess most people do, too. After all, I'm on this show right now because of semantics. My position is that there's a fetus growing in me right now, which has no legal right to life because it's not yet a person. Many other people would claim there's a human being growing inside of me right now that has the same right to life that you or I do. In some way, semantics is what this entire thing is about.”

Anderson Cooper said, “Fair enough. I'm sure you're aware that some Republicans in Congress have used what you're doing to reinvigorate their attempts to make it more difficult for women to get abortions in their states, and in some cases it seems that they're making more progress than they have in a while. Does it, in any way, make you regret your decision to do this, the fact that you might actually be responsible for setting abortion rights back in some places?”

Karen said, “Well, I don't regret what I'm doing, and I don't actually think I'm in any way responsible for setting reproduc
tive rights back. The trend in conservative states to put restrictions on Planned Parenthood and other clinics was ongoing far before I launched this site. Certain states have the unfortunate luck of being run by people who don't actually want to do the most good for the most citizens. States like Texas have their laws made by old, rich white men doing what they think is in their own best interest. Beyond the horrible way they've treated the women of their states, where reproductive rights are concerned, they've systematically made it far more difficult, if not impossible, for most minorities—women included—to even vote. Their moves to restrict voting rights are obviously designed to ensure that they stay in power, and to prevent opposing views from being represented in government. To overcome a situation like that, I think it takes something like what I'm doing—a moment that forces people to say to themselves,
Wait a minute, we can't let this happen anymore
. I think the harder certain politicians push against reproductive rights, the more of a fight they're going to have on their hands. And if I have something to do with starting that fight, then I couldn't be happier. No regrets at all.”

Anderson Cooper said, “What do you think of the people who are calling you a spiritual terrorist?”

Karen said, “Not much. I don't believe in spirits, so I guess I don't accept the idea that I could be performing a terrorist act against spirituality. It's like calling me a unicorn murderer. I'd lump them into the same category as the people who think I've been sent to Earth by Satan to give birth to the Antichrist. I'd say it was laughable if it wasn't a crystal clear example of what I'm trying to expose—the Christian right's agenda to control women. I'm a woman who is taking absolute control of my body and my rights. Their immediate reaction is to invoke Satan and compare me to a terrorist. And it's those same Christians, who call me a spiritual terrorist and claim that I'm the mother of the Antichrist, who are urging their congregations not to donate. They use their
religion to justify allowing this abortion to happen, the same religion they claim requires them to protect every unborn child's life. They can't have it both ways.”

Anderson Cooper said, “I'm curious about this next question. How has this affected your personal life?”

Karen said, “Not very well. I guess that's accurate.”

Anderson Cooper said, “Can you be a little more specific?”

Karen said, “Well, I had to talk to my parents about it once my identity was revealed, obviously.”

Anderson Cooper said, “And how did that go?”

Karen said, “Again, not very well. They're not too happy with me. Ultimately I think they support me, because they know this is something I feel very strongly about. At least I hope I made that clear to them when we talked about it. But like any parents, I think they just want what's best for me, and they see the obvious potential for this to be very stressful.”

Anderson Cooper said, “And what about the father of this baby?”

Karen said, “It's not a baby. It's a fetus at this point. But, to answer your question, he's, uh—he's sadly one of the relationships that hasn't survived through this process.”

Anderson Cooper said, “Do you think he'd want to be a part of this child's life if you were to have the child?”

Karen said, “I can't speak for him, except to say that he doesn't want to be a part of any of this, and I'm respecting his decision by not making his name public and not involving him.”

Anderson Cooper said, “Do you know if he's watching this interview?”

Karen said, “I don't.” For the first time in the interview, Karen could feel her emotions overriding her intellect. She knew this would be one of the questions she was asked, so she was prepared for it, but the thought of Paul sitting in a new apartment somewhere watching this interview made her sad—because they were
no longer together, but also because the image of the man she loved watching her on television as she was forced to speculate on his feelings about her decision seemed emasculating, and she never wanted to think of him that way.

Anderson Cooper said, “Okay, we've got a few questions now from Twitter.”

Karen said, “Okay.”

Anderson Cooper said, “The first question is from @joshpaulthorpe. He asks, ‘Have you ever been pregnant before, and if so, have you had abortions before?'”

Karen said, “I'm not sure about the relevance of that question, but the answer is no.”

Anderson Cooper said, “All right, @Revoredo6 tweeted, ‘Does it comfort you or anger you to know that people all over the world are praying for you?'”

Karen said, “Neither. I obviously don't believe that whatever entity these people are praying to exists, so it's a waste of time, but it doesn't anger me. I think anyone and everyone should be allowed to spend their time however they like. I would say, on the issue of prayer in general, though—or, maybe it's more accurate to say, if you're a person out there who's praying, then I'd like to say this to you: If you think your god is listening to you and has the power to do anything, and you've never prayed for an end to human misery, war, disease, hunger, or anything of that ilk, then you're deplorable. If you have prayed to your god to end these things, then your god is deplorable. Either way, prayer seems to me like a waste of time.”

Anderson Cooper said, “Moving on. @ChristianWoman7 asks, ‘If someone else was doing what you were doing, would you donate to her website?'”

Karen said, “No, I wouldn't. I'm not pro-life in any way, and although I'd think what she was doing was interesting, I wouldn't donate.”

Anderson Cooper said, “Let me ask you this: Do you think
you've received money so far from anyone who doesn't consider themselves pro-life, or from people who are outside of the Christian right?”

Karen said, “I can't be sure. It's obviously completely possible. I'm sure there have to be people who aren't Christian who have donated, but I personally can't see why anyone who was pro-choice would donate money, outside of a kind of celebrity-culture interest in what's going on, which is something I wanted to avoid through anonymity. They certainly wouldn't be donating on philosophical grounds.”

Anderson Cooper said, “All right, and one final question from Twitter. @AprilLavalleyLaw asks, ‘What's to stop other girls from copycatting this for their own financial gain, instead of for a social experiment?'”

This was something Karen had never thought about, and she paused before answering, “I guess at the moment nothing is stopping them from doing it. I think, though, that this is kind of a self-regulating idea. I have to believe that if someone else did this, and it was expressly for the purpose of making themselves money, very few people would give them money, and any girl who attempted something like this would very quickly find out that it wasn't worth the effort. And beyond the first girl who attempted it after me, I'd think no one would donate any money anyway. The idea will lose value with each successive attempt.”

Anderson Cooper said, “I think you're probably right about that. Karen, thank you for sitting down with me tonight. I have to say that no matter what people think of what you're doing, it definitely seems that you've thought this out and that you have a purpose behind it all. I'm sure everyone, myself included, will be following this story to its conclusion, whatever it might be.”

Anderson Cooper then turned back to the center camera and said, “My guest tonight has been Karen Holloway. I'm Anderson Cooper. Thanks for watching, and good night.”

As Karen and Tanya drove back to Karen's apartment that night, Karen asked her friend what she thought of the interview. Tanya admitted that it was very good, that Karen came off as likable and intelligent. Karen checked her site from her phone and saw that in the course of the interview, a little more than a million dollars had come in.

Despite sending Pastor
Preston several emails asking for an urgent meeting, James Dobbs had to wait a full week before he could see the minister. As he sat in the foyer of Woodstone Church waiting for Pastor Preston, who was fifteen minutes late, James thought about how much time he had spent in that church and in that town. He was nervous about starting what he expected to be the most important journey of his life, but he was excited. He knew that what he was about to do was important and needed to be done, not just for himself but for everyone on the planet. He felt that somehow this church had played a role in forming him as a person God had finally recognized as worthy of this task, worthy of carrying out his role in God's plan. James had many good memories in Woodstone, and he knew he would miss it after he left.

Pastor Preston was talking on his cell phone when he came
through the front doors. He said, “I know it's more expensive, but I think it's worth it. That's right. Black leather, with the same color black for the trim around the dash. Yeah. Okay, next Tuesday. It better be ready. I'll have one irate wife on my hands if it's not. All right, bye.” Pastor Preston hung up and moved over to James as he said, “They've screwed up the interior of that car twice now. But you know what? I forgive them, because I'm a Christian, and I understand that things like this are just tests from God to see if we have the patience and love that he wants us all to have.” He shook James's hand and said, “Okay, now, I got your emails. Seems like there's some important stuff going on, and I'm happy to consult you spiritually on anything you might need help with. That's what Jesus put me on this earth to do. Just let me get this coffee down, come into my office, and let's hear what you need to tell me.”

James followed Pastor Preston into his office. He'd never been in it before. The walls were covered with pictures of Pastor Preston with various celebrities, Sarah Palin, Chuck Norris, and Kirk Cameron prominent among them. A glass case on one wall was full of trophies from various church-sponsored softball teams and choir groups. On the wall immediately behind Pastor Preston's desk was a giant painting of him and his wife holding hands as Jesus hovered above them, shining light down on them from his open hands. James wished he could have a relationship with a girl like Pastor Preston had with his wife.

Pastor Preston drank a last sip of coffee, threw the cup in the trash can next to his desk, sat down and said, “All right, now, let's do some work of the spirit. Before we start, let's join hands.” James gave his hands to Pastor Preston, who bowed his head, closed his eyes, and said, “Heavenly Father, please fill me with your everlasting understanding and wisdom in this moment so that I may do what you have put me on this earth to do. Please help me guide the soul of this young man who sits with me in his hour of need so that he may do your bidding and carry out your holy plan. Amen.”

James repeated, “Amen.”

Pastor Preston said, “So, James, I know you know this, but I just want to take this opportunity to tell you again that you're really one of the rising stars here at Woodstone. I haven't had much time to talk to you after our rally the other week, but seriously, and I mean this with all of my heart, you're an inspiration, son. Truly. Christ sees what you do, and you should feel very, very good about that.”

James thanked him for his compliments, and then Pastor Preston said, “So I'm more than happy to listen to whatever you want to tell me, and I'll do my best to help you however God sees fit. So what's the urgent thing you wanted to tell me about? Something with a new job opportunity? You're thinking about buying a new car? Don't tell me this has to do with a young lady? Not to toot my own angelic horn, but I'm very good with matters of the heart where they cross over with matters of the spirit.”

James told Pastor Preston that it was none of those things. He explained to Pastor Preston that the sermon he gave on listening for God's voice was transformative for him. He told Pastor Preston that he had never heard God's voice in his entire life, and never really thought that it might have been because he wasn't an active enough listener. He told Pastor Preston that circumstances had come to be which allowed him three days off from work, and he felt that the number three had biblical significance in reference to Jesus rising from the dead on the third day after his crucifixion. He went on to tell Pastor Preston that he had used the entirety of those three days to remain awake, listening for God's voice, because he was certain that God had cleared his work schedule specifically for this purpose. He finished his story by telling Pastor Preston that on that third day without sleep, food, or water, he had indeed heard the voice of God, and that God had revealed a plan that he wanted James to follow—a purpose for his life.

Pastor Preston said, “That's incredible. Honestly, I couldn't be
happier for you. Between that and our rally with the Anointed, it seems to me like you're entering your spiritual prime. We never know when or where God will choose to speak to us, but you were listening, and that's all he wants. So what did he say to you?”

James apologized to Pastor Preston for not being able to give him any details about the nature of his conversation with God. He told Pastor Preston that the conversation was private, and at God's behest he was unable to reveal anything. And even beyond that, God himself didn't reveal anything beyond the first step of his plan to James.

Pastor Preston said, “I see. Well, we each have our own relationship with God. I understand that more than most, I think. But if you didn't come here today to speak with me about what God told you, then what exactly do you need my help with, son?”

James explained he needed some help carrying out the plan, and he assured Pastor Preston that the plan was of great importance to everyone, not just him.

Pastor Preston said, “Of course. I'd be more than happy to help any of God's children follow their path, especially someone like you who is so obviously devoted to an unwavering Christian life.”

James explained that his plan would very likely require many things, and that most of them he knew would be provided by God as they were needed. But the first thing he needed, the thing that would enable him to initiate the plan God set out for him, was very simple, and it was something he knew Woodstone could easily help him with. He told Pastor Preston that he needed enough money to get to California, the place that God told him he had to get to, the place where he would be used in the service of God's ultimate plan. He went on to say that he didn't need much money, and he was happy to travel by bus if it was easier for the church financially.

Pastor Preston said, “And what's in California, James?”

James explained that God hadn't told him exactly what he
would have to do in California, but that even if he had, James still wouldn't be at liberty to say. God did tell him not to divulge the details of the conversation with anyone. The reason he needed to go to California was between him and God.

Pastor Preston said, “I see. Well, James, I guess the best thing I can tell you is that sometimes we want to hear God so badly, and we strain so hard to hear his voice, that we think we heard him when we really didn't. It's kind of like when you're so hot that you get the chills. When it's a hundred degrees out, and your air conditioner is on the fritz, and you want to feel a little breeze so badly, sometimes you feel things that aren't there. The same thing can happen with God's voice. And I understand how devout you are. I know you're not just trying to get a free trip to California out of the church, and I know you've been waiting to hear his voice and you will, son, but I don't think he told you to go to California.”

James couldn't understand why Pastor Preston was questioning the validity of his conversation with God. Of all people, he assumed Pastor Preston would be as excited as he was about the event and more than happy to help in any way he needed. James tried to explain a second time as clearly as possible that he really did hear God. There was no mistaking his voice or his message. He reminded Pastor Preston that he had always told his congregation that the reason Woodstone was created was to help those who are truly faithful, and James was definitely faithful. He asked Pastor Preston how he could rationalize turning away a member of the Anointed when that member was asking for help carrying out God's plan.

Pastor Preston said, “That's a good question, James. I'm a pastor. That means I've been called on by Almighty God to spread his word, to gather those who follow in the teachings of his son, Jesus Christ, and to be used as he sees fit. I talk with God every day, James, and I know how he works, and I don't mean to take anything away from the experience you had. But take it from
me, as someone who has had much more spiritual experience than you, if he wanted me to help you go to California, then why would he have told you nothing else about the trip? That just doesn't make sense. And besides that, why would he have had a whole conversation with you, knowing that you'd come to me to ask for help, but then not tell me you'd be coming? Wouldn't he have spoken to me, as the minister of his word?”

James reminded Pastor Preston that God works in mysterious ways, and that no one should question his motives or his actions or presume to know his plans.

Pastor Preston paused for a moment. The logic of James's argument was difficult to deny. He was aware that he himself had delivered several sermons making that very point. He eventually said, “You're right about that, James. I certainly don't know everything God knows about his plans. but I can tell you that in all my years as pastor of Woodstone, I've never sat in this seat and had a member of my congregation ask me directly for money to take a trip, and just as you believe that you heard God telling you to go to California, I can hear him right now telling me that I just can't help you get there. So, while it's obviously impossible for me to know everything about your relationship with God, I can tell you that I know mine better than anyone, and right now I have to obey his command. If God does intend for you to take this journey, it seems like he might have some lessons to teach you along the way that he knows you can only learn by doing it yourself, without help from anyone but him.”

James took what Pastor Preston said at face value. Then James asked Pastor Preston, since he was in direct contact with God at that moment, if he could ask God how James was supposed to get to California.

Pastor Preston said, “Okay, I suppose I can do that. Almighty Father, can you please help this young man on his way and deliver to him the knowledge and resources that he needs to carry out your heavenly plan?”

The two men waited in silence for a few seconds before Pastor Preston said, “I'm sorry son. He's silent.”

James lowered his head. Pastor Preston could tell he was disappointed, and said, “Listen, James, don't let this get to you. Sometimes God makes our journey more difficult to teach us a lesson. And even if you don't end up getting to California, God will still favor you, and he will still love you, because you're one of his children.”

James reminded Pastor Preston that he had no choice in the matter. He had to get to California. He had to carry out God's plan. There was no alternative. He told Pastor Preston that he would do whatever it took to get there.

As James stood and walked out of Pastor Preston's office he turned back and he told the Pastor that no matter what would come to pass, he would forgive him for turning him away when he needed help the most, just as Jesus did with Peter.