Strangers (30 page)

“Do you like women with huge boobs?” she asked.

“I like yours.
I like the way they exactly fill my hands, the way they cradled my cock.”

He caressed her nipples with his fingertips, thrilled they turned pebble-hard at his touch.

Kate leaned forward to put down her glass and Charlie homed in on the mark he hadn’t made.
“Where did that scar on your back come from?”

“I was stabbed.”

She might have been matter of fact but fear and fury flashed through Charlie’s body.
For a moment, he couldn’t speak and then said, “I thought it was a bit high for your appendix.”

Kate gave a snort of laughter.
He pulled her back against his chest and spat out the mouthful of foam that splattered his face.

“I don’t suppose it was an accident?”

“No.”

He waited, but she didn’t say more.
He wished she’d open up and let him in.
Smoothing the foam away from her chest, his fingers lingered on the bite mark he’d made on her breast.

“I’m sorry, Kate.” Charlie kissed her neck.
“You want to hit me or something?
I’m no better than the bastard that gave you that scar.”

“You are different.
You haven’t broken my arm or my ribs, split my lip or given me a black eye.”

Another surge of adrenaline and Charlie stiffened.
“Oh God.
Dickhead?
I’ll fucking kill him.”

“Not Richard.
Before him.”

There was a long pause.
“Want to tell me about it?”

“You’re not the only one with a self-destruct button, Charlie.”

“You can’t excuse some asshole’s behavior by saying you were asking for it.”

“I should have left the first time Dex hit me.”

He held her tight and pressed his lips into her hair.
She smelled of lemons.
She always smelled of something fresh and new.
And someone had hurt her.
He’d like to fucking—except he’d hurt her as well.

“Why didn’t you leave?” he whispered.

“Because he said he was sorry and promised he wouldn’t do it again.
And…and I thought I deserved it because I’d pissed him off.”

Apologies and promises from abusers, Charlie thought.
He’d done the same.
How could he show her he was different, particularly when his erection was poking her in the butt?
“Did you tell anyone?”

“No.
I don’t like to talk about myself, and I don’t talk about other people, either.
I learned early on in life, it’s best to zip your lip.
Secrets are secrets for good reasons.
If I complained and whined, it made matters worse.
Anyway, even if I’d wanted to tell someone about Dex, I didn’t have anyone
to
tell.
The only people I hung out with were his friends.”

Charlie let out a shuddering breath on her shoulder, blowing the foam into a little shower of snow.
Oh God, I could have lost her before I’d even met her.

“What happened to him?”

Kate hesitated again.

“Talk to me, Kate.
Please.”

“One night, Dex really lost it.
He shouted, I said something stupid and he hit me.
He broke my arm and a couple of ribs, knocked me out and when I came to, he’d gone.”

Charlie wrapped his arms around her, held her tight.

“I found out later, he went to the pub and picked a fight.
At closing time, a guy he’d bad-mouthed was waiting outside.
He only hit Dex once, a fist in the stomach, but it ruptured something and he was taken to hospital.
He nearly died.”

“Oh shit.” Charlie pressed his face into Kate’s hair.

“The next day, his parents moved me out of the apartment.
They were angry because I didn’t raise the alarm when Dex failed to come home.
I’d discharged myself from the same bloody hospital at midnight because I was scared what he might do if he didn’t find me at the apartment when he got back.
I lay in bed with my arm in plaster, grateful to be on my own, thinking he’d probably picked up some woman to teach me a lesson and instead he was worse off than me.”

She shivered in his arms.

“I know it sounds bad but whoever hit him did me a favor.
I was determined never to trust anyone again.
I did okay for a while.
Then I met Richard Winter.”

“I think that’s the most you’ve said to me about your past.”

“Oh God, we’re doomed.
The moment I open up, people go off me.”

Charlie rolled her over, so that they lay curled up facing each other.

“Did you tell Dickhead about Dex?”

“No.
I told you I don’t like to talk about personal things.
I’m a very private person.
My business is mine and no one else’s.”

“But you’re talking to me.” He lifted her chin with his finger.

“I trust you.”

Charlie’s heart swelled and he exhaled, blowing foam off her face.
“After what—”

“Leave it, Charlie.”

“Was Dex the one who stabbed you?”

“No.”

He gave a loud groan.
“Jesus, Kate.
The press would eat you.”

“Then I’d better not tell you the real reason I don’t like having my photo taken.”

“I think you should.
You’ve had such a fucked-up life, you’re making me feel a lot less sorry for myself.
This is much better than staring at a psychiatrist.” He paused.
“Oh God, that sounded terrible.
You don’t have to tell me anything.”

“I want to,” Kate said and emptied her glass.
She snuggled against his chest.
“Remember I had the attic room in the children’s home?
It was so my care worker had some privacy while he fucked me and took photographs.”

Charlie jerked and spilt his drink.
“Shit, Kate.
How old were you?”

“Fourteen.”

“Oh my God.
India was…” Grief and guilt smothered his voice.

“It was different, Charlie.
You were at a party, having fun and you thought she was sixteen.
India wanted sex.
I didn’t.
This guy was supposed to be looking after me.”

Disgust that he’d been another of the people who’d hurt Kate made Charlie’s stomach churn and his heart ache.
He’d treated her like… He gulped back a sob.

Kate pressed her head into his shoulder.
“I told Linda, my social worker, but someone gave the fat bastard an alibi so she decided I’d lied.
When Ray came to my room, he brought another man.
He said if I told again, next time there would be three.”

Charlie held her as tight as he could.
He wanted to protect her and look after her forever and never let her get hurt again, only how could he tell her that after what he’d done?
Why should she believe him?

“I have this feeling there are pictures of a fourteen-year-old me floating about on the Internet.
That’s why I don’t like my photo being taken.”

“How do you deal with all this?” he whispered.

“By accepting it.
I don’t drag it behind me like an oversized suitcase.
I don’t moan and wail about what I can’t put right.
I have to live in the world that follows.”

“But you tried to kill yourself.”

“I’d let my defenses down.”

“Have I slipped past your guard?” he asked.

“I think you
are
my guard.”

She could still say that after what he’d done?
Charlie kissed her hair.
He could be a better man.
Kate would make him one.
He trembled as she ran her hands down his body, sweeping away the bubbles.

“Let me wash your back,” she said.

“I’m supposed to be washing you.”

“But you have such silky, soft skin.”

“You sound like a snake and I think you nicked my line.”

Kate trailed her fingers under the foam and down his stomach to wrap them around his cock.

“That’s not my back,” he said.

“I was hopeless at biology.” A lick of his nipple dragged a groan from his throat.

“In that case, it
is
my back.
Keep rubbing.”

Charlie caught her laugh with a kiss.
She tasted so sweet his head was swimming.
Kate pulled away and slid down his body, landing tiny nips and bites along the ridges of his ribs.
Before her mouth settled round his cock, Charlie dragged her back to cup her face with his hands.
When her soft satin lips opened at once for his tongue, Charlie understood how close he’d come to screwing this up, how lucky he was she still lay in his arms and hadn’t told him to fuck off or even reported him to the police.
He wanted her forever and the thought made his heart ache.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered.

“You don’t need to keep apologizing.” She licked her way back down his chest.

“Yes, I do.” He lifted her head to look her in the eyes.
“You’re special to me and I know I nearly wrecked everything.
I’m ashamed of myself.”

“I could have stopped you.”

“Could you?” Charlie asked.
“What if you’d tried and I’d carried on?”

Kate slid up and put her hands around his neck.
“Charlie, you’ve had a terrible day.
Someone you love, someone who loves you, said an awful thing and you lashed out.
It doesn’t matter that you lashed out at me.
That’s what I’ve been trying to explain.
There’s something about me that makes—”

He sat up so fast, a wave of water sloshed over the side of the tub.
“Don’t talk crap.
It
does
matter.
There’s nothing about you that would make me want to hurt you, that should make anyone want to hurt you.
Don’t you dare blame yourself.
I fucked up today.
I don’t deserve you, but I’ll show you I can be a better man.
I don’t want to let you go.
Ever.
I’ve never felt like this before.” He took a deep breath, his heart surging into his throat as he looked into her eyes.

“Kate, I…I think I love you.”

Oh God, had he managed to say that out loud?
Yeah, he had.
His heart rate had doubled and his mouth had dried up.
He’d held those words safe for so long that Charlie could hardly believe he’d let them go.
Except Kate hadn’t said anything.
She was staring at him but why didn’t she say something?
Charlie took hold of her jaw and waggled it up and down as if trying to get her to speak.

“Good to know you care about me too,” he said in a gruff voice.

“Hippo, I was yours from the thump on the nose.”

His heart leapt against hers, as if the two organs had reached out to kiss.
Then their lips met and Charlie’s head went fuzzy.
Be gentle,
he told himself and at least this time, he managed not to crush her.
His hands plastered over her back, Charlie took it slow.
He wanted to kiss her back to happiness, back into belief in him.
Today had been terrible but something sort of good had come out of it.
Kate was talking to him about her past.
He didn’t like most of what she had to say, but she’d begun to trust him.

He slid his tongue over her upper lip and sucked it into his mouth.
Her hands held his head, her thumbs stroking just below his eyes.
She was rocking against him, their bodies sliding against one another.
So easy to just slip his cock inside— Charlie turned to stone.

Oh fuck, what have I done? What the hell have I done?

Kate tipped her head back to look at him.

“I didn’t use protection.” He groaned.
“Oh God, I’m sorry.”

“Charlie, it’s okay.”

“No, it’s not.
I’ve ruined everything.
I’m such a fucking cunt.
I’ve never done that before.
Never lost my head so I didn’t remember.
Fuck, fuck.
I mean, what if—”

“I’m on the Pill.”

He closed his eyes, his head full to bursting with a thousand thoughts.
He’d had this vision of Kate, pregnant, and the pair of them struggling with the assembly instructions for a cradle.
Then he thought of all the times he’d used a condom with her when he hadn’t needed to and he opened his eyes and glared.

“Think,” Kate said.

Charlie did as he was told.
Ah.
One chance for a first time and he’d fucked it up, spoiled what should have been special.
She did the right thing not telling him.
Only now she had.
He made himself not smile.

“Were you ever going to tell me?” he whispered.

“When the moment was right.”

“I am such a dick.”

“Yes you are.”

He let out a choked laugh.

“Pretend tonight is our first time.”

“But I already—”

“No.
You weren’t thinking of me then.
This time you will be.
Make it good.”

Kate squealed as Charlie stood and scooped her into his arms.
He sat her on the edge of the tub, grabbed a towel and wrapped it around her.
Foam flew everywhere.

“We need to eat,” he said.
“Italian, Thai, Indian?
I could try for Argentinian.
We might have to wait a while.” He’d send a bloody plane to fly a meal back.

“Don’t you have anything in your fridge?”

“The fridge?” He blinked.
“I have no idea.”

“Can I go see?”

He nodded.
Kate rubbed her hair and Charlie wrapped a towel around his waist.

“Do you have an old shirt I can put on?” she asked.

Charlie padded into the bedroom and into his closet.
He had about a hundred shirts.
None of them were old.
He picked a thin white one and slipped into a pair of boxers before he came back out.

The moment Kate had fastened the buttons on the shirt, she laughed.
“You can see straight through this.”

Charlie raised his eyebrows.
“Really.”

“Come on.” Kate took his hand and tugged him down to the kitchen.

Charlie doubted there was anything edible in there but Kate checked out the fridge, opened a few cupboards and smiled.

“Thirty minutes.
Is it warm enough to eat in the garden?”

He’d find a way to make it warm if that was what Kate wanted.

Cooking soothed Kate.
Charlie had put music on, some soulful jazz thing, poured her a glass of champagne, given her a kiss and disappeared.
He’d had a terrible day and she hadn’t meant to unload her past on him, but if they were to have any chance together, there could be no secrets.
Charlie was so open and straightforward and Kate still hid something huge.
One day she’d tell him, but not this day.

The kitchen was like something out of a magazine.
Kate kept running her fingers over the beautiful granite countertop.
There were specks of iridescent turquoise spattered throughout and depending on where she stood, they shone bright or dim under the light.
Kate cleaned up as she went along.
Charlie appeared to collect cutlery, glasses and plates and then disappeared again after he’d returned twice to kiss her.