Strangers in Paradise (21 page)

He came up beside her; they stood, damp and sleek, their fingers entwined. And she pulled him close to her and kissed him, consuming his lips again and again, savoring just that touch to the fullest, like a fine delicacy. She brushed her breasts against his chest as she tiptoed up to him, then slid against him, tasting the salt on his shoulder, all that lingered on his chest, falling to her knees and returning each subtle nuance. She moved on to his feet, his ankles...then up the length of his legs to the pulse of him. He whispered frantically—urges, cries. She obeyed them all and gloried sweetly in her power, in the absolute intimacy. She had never loved like this; she knew that she never would again.

They sank together upon the deck at last in an inferno of mutual desires and hungers, with a need deeper than any words they could ever whisper. To Alexi the earth seemed to tremble, to shake, to explode in a blinding brilliance. The sun was the brilliance, she knew, riding high above her, very real in the sky. But it seemed to live inside her, too, a life-giving warmth, given to her...by him.

Rex turned to her at last, stroking her breast, then her cheek, a curious twist to his lips.

“Am I supposed to apologize now for dragging you out here against your will?”

“An apology would be nice.”

“All right!” he said, pressing her down on the deck. “I'm sorry I dragged you. Now you can apologize.”

“I beg your pardon?
I
was the abused party. But not only did I take incarceration in stride, I went way beyond the call of duty.”

“That you did,” Rex admitted with a broad smile. Then his smile faded and he sat up, wrapping his arms around his legs.

“Rex—”

“Why did you say that to me, Alexi!”

“What?” she asked, at a loss.

“That bit about sleeping with me because you were afraid.” He twisted around to stare at her, harsh and accusing.

“You knew it wasn't true!” she cried. Please, please, she thought. Don't ruin this. This is ideal. This is the type of day that one remembers for a lifetime.

He shook his head. “No, I didn't,” he said lightly. “Tell me what is and isn't true, Alexi.”

“I don't know what you're talking about.”

He touched her lower lip with the tip of his thumb, studying her face. “Tell me what you've felt—what you've wanted.”

“I have told you,” she gasped out, herself turning. She didn't want him to see her eyes. To read any of the secrets within them. Love made one so vulnerable. She wished she were dressed.

She shivered. “Rex, do you have robes aboard this boat? It's getting so chilly—”

He pulled her into the curve of his arm. “I'll keep you warm,” he promised her.

“I told you,” she murmured, her eyes downcast, “that you were very special.”

“The Easter Bunny is special,” he told her.

“I have been with you every time because I wanted desperately to be with you. Is that what you want?”

“No.” He lifted her chin to force her eyes to his, holding her close against his chest. “I want more, Alexi.”

Her heart seemed to thunder and stop, then race again and soar. Her lips were dry, and she moistened them with her tongue. “I hear that you're the one with a girl in every port.”

“A gross exaggeration. And reasonable.” He smiled ruefully. Smiled at her, deep into her soul, and she instinctively stroked his face, musing again about how she loved it. Dark and macabre... To think that she had once thought he must be that way, when he smiled at her now so openly, so ruefully, so tenderly.

“I've been scared. I've been running. And I'm still very, very scared.”

“Of me?” she whispered.

He nodded. “Alexi?”

“Yes?”

“Do you have to go back? Do you have to do that commercial or whatever it is?”

“Er, no.”

He hesitated. He gave her a crooked smile, dark lashes covering his eyes. He released her and stood, hands on hips, beautifully naked, staring out to the sea.

“That wasn't the right question,” he said at last. “Do you want to go back?”

She had thought that she was safe; his back was to her. But he spun around swiftly, and she felt that she was seared through by the probing intensity of his eyes, by the demand within them. She felt herself blush—all of her, from head to toe—and she felt painfully, terrifyingly bare and vulnerable.

“I don't know.”

It wasn't the right answer, she knew. Or she had hesitated too long. She saw the disappointment that darkened his eyes before he turned away. “Of course you want to go back,” he muttered.

“Rex!” She jumped to her feet, coming to his back as she had earlier, pressing against him and groaning softly. “Rex! I'm frightened, too.”

He remained tense. “You should be frightened. I keep telling you that.”

She shook her head vehemently. “I don't mean that. I'm not talking about whatever is going on at the house.”

“Then exactly what are you talking about?”

“You. Me.” Alexi groped for an answer. “Rex, I'm afraid of you.”

“Afraid of me!” The narrowing of his eyes, the glint within him, warned her that he had misunderstood.

“No, no—not that you would ever hurt me. Not that way. Let's face it. We've both been burned. In different ways, perhaps. I ran; you put up high walls around you and learned to play rough.”

“I don't know—”

“Yes, you do,” Alexi said softly, lowering her eyes. “I overheard you talking to Emily that morning, remember? You like the chase, Rex.”

He made an impatient sound. “Alexi, dammit. So this whole thing
was
over the girl back in the restaurant—”

She shook her head furiously. “No! All right, I did feel a twinge of jealousy—”

“That was childish! I had to watch the pizza delivery boy practically trip over his tongue when he was near you!”

The way he said it, she had to laugh, her eyes meeting his. But then her laughter faded, as did the wry smile that had touched his lips. “Rex! Don't you see? It isn't like me to be like that. I enjoy you, I enjoy your success. I just...” Her voice trailed off.

He came closer and lifted her chin. “You just what?” His eyes probed hers deeply, searching. He was so close again. She wanted to lay her head against his chest and forget everything. He didn't intend to let her. “Alexi...?”

She shook her head. “I don't know. Maybe I want to believe in magic and forever and I'm just a little too world-weary to really take the chance.”

His touch, his voice, grew tense. “You just said that you knew I would never hurt you.”

“But you don't trust
me
, either!”

He released her, his eyes narrowing. “What are you talking about?”

“You're not honest with me. At least, if—if you care you're not.”

“Meaning?”

“You said that I should go. That I should go back to New York. You made me feel as if what we had was nothing more than a brief affair between consenting adults. Either you want me to go—or you don't want me to go.”

Rex laced his fingers around his knees and stared out at the water. Then he swung around to her, heatedly intense again. “All right. I don't want you to go. Is that going to change anything? I can't really do that, Alexi. If I ask you not to go—and you don't do it because of me—you'll resent me for it in the long run.”

“But I don't know if I even want to go back!”

Rex inhaled and exhaled slowly. He touched her cheek softly. “You just said it, Alexi. You don't know. I can't hold you back—”

“You could come with me.”

“If something can't be solved about all these things that keep happening,” Rex said harshly, “you can bet I'll come along.”

“What?”

“I said—”

Alexi didn't let him finish. She laughed and caught his cheeks between her hands and kissed him. “You'd do it? You'd really do it? You'd leave all your privacy behind and come with me?”

He caught her hands and held them tight between his. “I'd do it because I'm afraid for you,” he told her sternly. “I haven't changed my mind. I like the peninsula. I like the peace, and I like the privacy.”

She still smiled. “But you'd leave it for a while.”

“Alexi—”

“You started this! You gave out the ultimatums.”

He watched her, then slowly shook his head, drawing her to him, ruffling her hair, speaking very softly. “Ultimatums don't work, Alexi. That's what I'm saying. I can't force you to live my way; I couldn't promise to stay in New York. We're on dangerous ground, you know.”

Alexi felt his fingers against her hair. She closed her eyes and inhaled the scent of him and felt the warmth of his body next to hers. “I thought you wanted me to leave. You'd have your whole peninsula back.”

His arms tightened around her. “I've decided that I like you there.”

“Sometimes I think you've decided that I'm insane.”

“Why do you say that?”

“I know you think I imagined footsteps the night I ran into you on the sand, and I know you think I imagined noises in the house when we came in from the beach. I wonder if you even believe I was hit on the head yesterday—the police, I know, think I fell down the stairs and invented the intruder.”

“You're wrong. I might have doubted you once, but I believe you now.”

“Because you think that John is out to—to do something.”

“Yes.”

“I might not be a very good deal, you know,” Alexi warned him. “I could very well be neurotic myself, and I seem to come with a half-crazy ex-husband.”

“I'm not worried.”

“Oh?”

“No. I'm a big boy. I can handle it.”

“But do you
want
to handle it?”

“Yes.”

“Rex?”

“Alexi?”

“I
think
I'm falling in love with you.”

His arms tightened around her so much that for a moment she couldn't breathe. Then she discovered that she was falling in his arms to lie against the deck and he was over her, his eyes afire, a smile on his lips.

“Let's hear that again.” His hold was fierce; his words were full of a harsh command. She twisted against the force of his arms.

“Rex, damn you—”

“Alexi, please!”

“I said...” She paused, watching the blaze in his eyes, watching that small smile that curved his lips. “You're just terrible!” she said accusingly. “Every time you want something, you just decide that if you sit on me—”

“Not every time,” he protested. But he was straddled over her and she inhaled sharply, feeling all her senses begin to swim again beneath the dazzling command of his eyes and the easy feeling of him against her—his hands upon her, his chest, muscles rippling in the golden heat of the sun, his thighs tight around her own. “Alexi!” He lowered himself against her until his lips hovered just above hers.

“I'm falling in love with you, too, you know. And you're right. It's very, very frightening,” he said.

“We're both afraid of the future,” she whispered in return.

“Yes,” he told her, kissing her lips.

“What do we do about it?” She opened her eyes to him, very wide, very blue, trusting and innocent. She curled her arms around his neck and pressed her body against his.

“Maybe we could take a chance,” he murmured, moving slightly to the side to stroke the length of her. The sun was gloriously hot upon their bodies.

“Maybe,” she murmured.

“Let the feelings grow.”

“For now, at least.”

He tensed, staring down at her. “Sure. For now,” he murmured bitterly. He rose over her again, lifting his arms to the sky. “For now. We've got the sun and the sea and a warm Atlantic breeze. What else could we possibly want?”

“We could pretend,” Alexi told him. She placed her fingers on his shoulders, then let them run over the rippling muscles of his chest. She drew them lower, so that he sucked in his breath as he watched their progress. “We could pretend that this is never going to end. That there is no future, no worry over it. We could spend these few days forgetting to argue or wonder what can and can't be. We could just talk about the water and the day and the night and the sun and the moon. And laugh and relax and—”

He caught her cheeks between his palms and tenderly massaged them with the callused tips of his thumbs. He cut off her speech with a slow, deep kiss, cradling her breasts, stroking the nipples to high peaks with his fingertips.

“Make love?” he suggested.

“It's a wonderful way to explore one's feelings,” she offered solemnly.

He stretched out carefully atop her, distributing his weight along her legs, moving against her hard and erotically.

“A wonderful way to explore,” he repeated. He caught her lower lip between his teeth, then kissed her deeply, exploring her mouth with a sweep of his tongue and the intimate recesses of her body with his fingers.

She gasped his name, amazed at the molten fire spreading throughout her, tantalized...

“Sweetheart,” he murmured, staring into her eyes, “I do
think
that I love you.” He thrust himself deep inside her, shuddering at the feeling of the velvet encasement of her love. She wrapped her limbs around him, and he whispered all the things about her that he loved.

The sun started to fall, but neither of them felt the chill as the warmth left the sky. Beautiful pinks and mauves stretched out over the horizon as twilight made a gentle descent.

Alexi saw stars streaking the heavens in a splendid outburst. She whispered to Rex that she had seen them bursting out all around her.

He laughed and told her that it was night. They rose lazily at last and made spaghetti and salad for dinner in the galley, then sat out beneath the stars. They talked about the sky and the sea, and he tried to tell her exactly where they were, pointing out the islands and the coast, which were alive at night with a glow of light.