Strapped: A Second Chance Mafia Romance (19 page)

W
hat a God damn idiot
!

I can’t believe how much I’ve blown things with Sophia, but at the same time I couldn’t let her just go out there like that. If she’d gone to Aiden, the man who I’m pretty sure killed her father, then she could have ended up dead as well, and I’m in no way prepared to let that happen.

“Don’t act like you know about everything!”

“Stop trying to turn me against everyone.”

“I’ve got my own damn mind, and I’ll do whatever the hell I want!”

Her words tumble through my brain, making me feel even worse about our fight, but I had to do what I had to do.

I probably should have told her about what Aiden did, but as I’m not totally sure it’s the truth, it didn’t seem like the best course of action. Plus, why
would
she trust me? I haven’t really given her any reason to. The Italians have never given her any reason to be trusted, and I can’t help but worry that it’s going to be a barrier that we can never overcome.

Maybe our marriage will always be tainted with what others have done… if we even have a marriage anymore.

Urgh. As I drive along the city on my bike, wanting to clear my head a bit, I realize that there is only one thing that I can do to make me feel better. I have to go and see Diego and the rest of the guys, to make a plan. I’ve already sent him a message to get someone on the lookout outside of my apartment, so I already know that he’s hanging out at the strip club, just waiting for the next instructions to come his way. I can’t just sit around any longer, doing nothing. I’ll end up driving myself insane.

I speed around the corner, quickly sliding my bike into its normal parking spot, and I stalk my way inside like I own the place. The world might be falling apart around me, going completely topsy-turvy, but that doesn’t stop me needing to keep my attitude going. Everyone really needs to believe that I have this shit under control, or they won’t respect my authority.

Respect – that’s what the mob business is all about! If I lose that, then I’ll be left with nothing, I’ll be overthrown – it doesn’t even matter who my dad is when it comes to that sort of thing.

“Yo man, you okay, dude?” Diego asks the second that he sees me. “Do we have a plan yet?” He’s so keen to get started, which fuels my mood even further. I’m already conflicted and a little raging, which has only been made worse with my argument with Sophia.

I need all of this over and done with, before it really wrecks things between us. Things were just getting good, and I don’t want everyone else to interfere with that.

“We need to sit down and talk about it – make a plan of our own. Everyone else is fucking stupid, and I’m sick of it. This could get out of control before we know it.”

“Yeah, man, you’re right.” He agrees, nodding vigorously. “I’ll gather up the guys.”

As he makes his way around the strip club, grabbing our boys from various lap dancing rooms, I take a seat and allow my mind to whir. We have limited information on this Aiden, and we need to really find out more about him. I want to hit him hard, to kill him, but I’m going to have to see what everyone else says first. I can’t make this decision by myself because it affects the lives of others. We all know that we could get killed every day, it comes with the territory, but I never want to be the one to force people into things they don’t want to do – especially after Mike’s death.

When everyone sits down, we instantly jump into it, discussing what happened.

“…it’s so fucked up…!”

“It had to be them, we wouldn’t have done that now.”

“Umberto is pissed…”

In the end, I feel like I need to take control of things to stop it from becoming a massive gossiping session. These guys can be worse than a bunch of old women when left to it, and it drives me crazy.

“So the question is,” I speak loudly, shutting everyone else down. “What the fuck are we going to do about it?”

“I think we should fuck them up, hit them hard when they aren’t expecting it,” Diego argues. “If we wait too long, we give them time to get settled into their new positions and they’ll be on the defensive. Right now, everything is a fucking mess for them, and I think we should take advantage of that.”

“No,” one of my other guys – Liam – jumps in quickly. “I disagree. We should wait until Umberto has all the information he needs. We should sort it out when we’re all better prepared too.”

When it comes to decisions like this, when everyone disagrees, I always take a vote, see where the majority lies and make my choice based on that. But this time I don’t need to, it’s clear from everyone’s reaction that Liam’s idea is by far the most popular one. I’m not sure if it’s because they’re just scared, or because it’s the smart thing to do, but I’m forced to listen regardless.

“Okay,” I sigh deeply, feeling bad for straying from what Diego wants. “Let’s information hunt for now. Find out everything we can about Aiden and the new structure of the Irish Mafia. We can also scout out some good locations for our first attack, alright? Once we have everything that we need,
then
we’ll make our move.”

I shoot Diego an apologetic look, but he simply shrugs as if he can see that we have no other choice. He might be annoyed on the inside, but even he can see that he’s outvoted.

“Right, I’m going to get a round in,” Liam insists, jumping up from his seat. “What does everyone want?”

I know that this is my moment to refuse and to go home, but the memory of Sophia’s angry face fills my mind once more and I stick to my seat, wanting to avoid that scene again for just a little while longer.

“Whiskey, please,” I ask him, knowing deep down that I’m probably making a mistake…

* * *

B
y the time
the cab drops me off at home because I’m too drunk to drive my motorcycle, it’s just past 1:00 a.m. I feel a little bad that I allowed myself to get so carried away, but everything has just been getting far too much for me, and I felt the need to blow off some steam.

I avoided all the chicks, which is unusual for me, and I just had a laugh with my buddies, but that was enough to have me feeling a little better. Sure, things are crazy, and more than a little shit, but it’ll be alright in the end. It has to be. I need it to be.

I know that I’ll do whatever I can to ensure that it is.

“Sorry, guys,” I slur at the men standing at the door. “I’m back now, so you can go home. Was there any trouble whatsoever?”

“Thanks, and no. Not a sign of anyone.” They sound totally bored, which I’m not surprised about. I would be too if I’d been forced to wait for hours outside someone’s home without any action. Much as I’m glad that there’s been no trouble, I feel a little guilty too. So I slip them a wad of cash each to sweeten the deal, and I send them on their way. “See you soon, boys.”

I stagger up the stairs towards my apartment, feeling my head spin. I probably should have stopped drinking when my brain started to go fuzzy, but I was enjoying it too much. I liked not being able to think about anything serious for a while, but now I can see how dangerous that is. If someone was to attack me now, I wouldn’t be able to do too much about it.

Then how could I help Sophia?

Idiot!

I crash through the door as quietly as I can, and I tiptoe through the apartment, just wanting to see her face again. I know my men have been on the case all night, but I also know that I won’t be able to feel totally confident in her safety until I see her face.

I quickly find her still lying on my bed, snoring lightly as the sleep that she so desperately needs claims her. I stand in the doorframe for a while, just committing her sleeping form to memory. She looks so peaceful lying there, with her gorgeous face worry-free. I wish that I could make her entire life like that – she deserves peace and happiness more than anyone I know.

I’m sorry,
I think, having an imaginary conversation with her.
I didn’t mean to upset you and to make you mad. I only have your best interests at heart. I just… I need to keep you safe. You’re my wife now, my responsibility, and I honestly don’t know what I’d do if anything happened to you.

I almost want to creep into bed beside her and to wrap her up in a deep and comforting hug, but I know that I can’t. Especially not when she hates my guts – that would be a horrible wake-up – so I turn around and stagger over to the couch where I know that I’ll be spending the night.

I slump down in the seat for a while, gripping tightly onto a glass of water, just allowing the thoughts to swirl around in my mind. I just don’t know what to do for the best when it comes to Sophia. Maybe I
should
do the right thing and let her go. Not back to Aiden, of course, but away from all of us. I could do what needs to be done to help her start the new life that she wanted so much…

But even the thought of sending her out there into the world where she could be harmed at any moment fills me with a sick sense of dread. I can’t… not yet. Maybe when all of this is done. It’ll be hard to lose the one woman who has actually managed to infiltrate my heart, but I have to do what’s right for her.

With that decision semi made, I lay my head down and I watch the room spin. I’ve always been a pretty good drinker, so I know that I won’t have too much of a hangover in the morning, but I feel bad all the same. I need to stop thinking only of myself and my needs these days – I have someone that’s relying on me. Sure, she might not particularly like me at the moment, but that doesn’t mean that she doesn’t need me.

For a second, I remember her kissing me as we made love over my dining room table, and I realize that was the loveliest moment of my entire life so far. It was the first time that everything really made sense to me. Maybe it’s the drink that’s allowing my thoughts to run so freely, but that’s the truth.

Maybe in this crazy, mixed up situation I’ve actually somehow managed to meet the one.

Wouldn’t that be insane? That this arranged political marriage could lead me to true love!

I shake my head quickly, trying not to allow myself to go too deep with it all. I’ll end up driving myself insane if I do. What I really need is some sleep right now, to clear my head. I need a fresh start tomorrow. One where I can
really
decide what to do for the best.

A
s the light
streams into the room, I stir feeling far too comfortable to be on the couch. As I sit up quickly in the bed, I realize that I’m actually in Enzo’s bedroom by myself. A turn of events that seems weirdly strange to me.

What the hell?

It only takes a few seconds for everything to come flooding back to me – the fact that he held me here, the fight, the horrible words spoken…

My dad is dead, and there’s nothing I can do. No way of getting any answers.

My head starts to throb with it all as I realize how screwed up everything truly is. I married a man on my father’s commands to make peace between the mafia groups, then he got killed, and now I can’t even go to see Aiden to find out what the hell is going on. No one seems to be thinking about my needs in this terrible time, which is utterly heartbreaking.

When did I manage to get dragged into everyone else’s mess?

I suppose that was the day I said ‘I do’.

I still want to get out of here, to be with my friends and family where I can finally feel safe, but I know now that I’m going to have to be clever about it. I can’t just go out there and demand to be allowed out, it just won’t work – I think that was fully proven yesterday – so instead I’m going to have to go in all sweetness and light, to try and talk my way around Enzo. I’m sure that he can be manipulated – I hope so anyway, it’s the only choice I have. I don’t like to do things in that way, but he’s really left me with no other option.

I push the bedroom door open quietly, wondering what I’m going to find. I could be completely alone, or I could still be with a very pissed off Enzo, I just don’t know, and that’s a little intimidating…

But what I do find is neither of those. Enzo is slumped over his breakfast bar, looking either really hung-over or like he hasn’t slept for days, grasping a large mug of coffee between his fingers as if his life depends upon it.

“Are… are you okay?” I ask him cautiously.

“I’m fine,” he replies, smiling weakly, looking anything but. “How are you this morning?”

“I’m alright,” I tell him, sitting near him. “I’m sorry about last night. That all got way out of hand.” I decide to address it right away, to get it out of the way.

“I know,” he tells me, looking incredibly saddened. “I’m sorry, too. I didn’t mean to overreact so badly, I just think that you need to be careful. Those people aren’t on your side, they aren’t going to protect you…”

“They’re
my
people,” I argue, despite myself. “They do care about me. I know it. You can’t possibly understand but they’re like my family.” He should get it – he’s the one person in a similar position to me, just with a different group – but if he’s going to be obstinate about it then what else should I say?

“Then why were they so heavy-handed with you?” He silences me with those words, because I know for a fact that he’s right. Ben and Max did go way over the line, but that doesn’t mean that
everyone
will be like that. It was obviously just… a mistake, a misunderstanding somewhere along the line. “You just need to believe me, I know what I’m talking about.”

“What… what do you mean?” I ask, terrified of the answer. From the way he said that, I can tell that Enzo is hiding something from me, something huge. It seems like he knows something that I don’t, and that winds me up a lot.

“Okay, I’m going to tell you something, and I don’t want you to freak out, okay?” He asks me, and I nod, feeling my entire body going cold. This is bad, really bad, I can just feel it in my bones. “Our intelligence suggests that your dad wasn’t killed by one of our men, but that it was an inside job…” he pauses thoughtfully for a few moments, while I feel my entire body go into shock. I go numb, unable to feel anything as if I’m having an out of body experience, just looking down on the terrifying scene that’s breaking in front of me. “One of the Irish men didn’t agree with the peace treaty, which is why all of this happened.”

My entire world falls out from beneath me all over again, as an intense nausea swirls around inside of me. I was the one who wanted peace, who used to fight my dad about what he did. What if his main reason for doing this was because of me? Now, not only did my marriage to Enzo not achieve the desired effect, it got my dad killed too?

“No,” I suddenly hear myself shooting back determinedly. “No, that can’t be right. Your intelligence must be wrong, someone must be hiding something. You’re saying this to get me to do what you want, but I can’t. It’s wrong it has to be…”

“Trust me,” Enzo says very seriously, preventing my rant from getting into full flow. “I have my men on the case, trying to solve this once and for all. I can assure you that if this was the work of any of our Italian men, they will be dealt with. They will have my father to answer for, and no one wants that!”

I nod stiffly, wanting to be able to believe him, but also understanding that everyone could be lying to me. I need to see someone real, someone that I’ve known for a very long time, someone that can actually help me. While the world is so up in the air, I need to pick someone solid, someone who’s been a constant in my life.

“Okay,” I gulp, trying to remember to stick to the plan. “Alright.”

“Can I get you something to eat?” Enzo asks me, clearly thinking that the subject is closed, and I agree, just to buy myself some time. As he scurries around the kitchen, cooking up some eggs, I try to make a suitable plan. I need to try and figure out the best way forward with this, now that I have more information to hand. If Enzo truly believes that the Irish did this to my dad, then there’s no way he’ll let me out of his sight. He’ll be too worried that the same is going to happen to me.

But Arial isn’t related to the Mafia at all – he knows that. He met her at the wedding. He knows that she’s just an innocent bystander, but that she’s also my best friend. I can get messages to people through her if I need to.

As we eat in silence, I try to find the best way to broach this, before choosing to just go in for the kill. “Do you remember Arial? My bridesmaid?” I don’t give him the chance to answer, I simply continue on with my point. “She texted me last night wanting to meet up – and I know that you’re against the idea of me going anywhere, but she really doesn’t have anything to do with any of this.” And time to lay on the guilt trip. “But she did know my dad, and to be honest all I really want to do is to have a chat about my father to someone who really knew him… do you think… would it maybe be okay if I went to see her?” I flutter my eyelashes lightly, praying that he’ll believe me.

“I don’t think…”

“I know it isn’t a good idea in your mind, but if you take me to her and pick me up, that’ll be okay, right?”

Come on, come on, come on!

I can see the cogs whirring in his brain, trying to come up with any excuse not to let me do this, but I feel like my argument is water tight. Soon enough, it seems like he can’t disagree because he find himself reluctantly nodding.

“Okay, but I
will
have to drop you off and pick you up – I won’t feel comfortable otherwise. I want you to know that I’m not trying to hold you here against your will, I just… I know what’s best for you right now, and I just really want to keep you safe.”

“Of course,” I act as if I know what the hell he’s on about, but to be honest I’m barely even listening anymore. I’m buzzing excitedly about my plan, knowing that it’s the best shot I have for getting back home. If I can just do this, I feel like it’ll open up more opportunities for me. “I’m just going to call Arial to set up the meeting.”

I scurry quickly into Enzo’s bedroom and I dial my best friend’s number, suddenly feeling guilty that this is the first time I’ve spoken to her since the wedding. I just got so wrapped up in everything – I hope that she understands that.

“Hello?” She calls happily into the phone, clearly not too distressed by my neglect. “How are you, wifey?”

Now isn’t the time to be teasing me about my marital status, which suggests that she knows nothing of what’s been going on. “Arial, can you meet me today? Things have gone crazy. Did you hear about my dad?” My tone is panicked, but she doesn’t seem to pick up on that.

“What about him?” She asks, and I can tell that she’s a little distracted. I wonder what I’ve missed in her life too. She’s normally such a dedicated friend that this is a little strange.

“He’s been killed.” I hiss, needing her to take me a bit more seriously.

“What?”

That’s when I notice that there’s a male voice in the background. Arial didn’t have a boyfriend the last time I knew, which means there’s definitely a story there.

“Who are you with?” I ask, curiosity getting the better of me.

“No one,” she shoots back quickly – too quickly. This is just getting juicy! Okay, so she obviously has no intention of telling me over the phone in front of him, so I’ll have to get her to confess later when I see her.

Maybe a chat about something else will help distract me for a few hours.

“Okay, well you can tell me all about your mystery man today. Say you’ll meet me?” I plead. I need this now more than ever.

“Sure, sure. Say 11:00 a.m. at the café?”

I let out a sigh of relief as she agrees. She might be distracted by something else now, but I know that once we’re face to face in our normal meeting place, I’ll have her full focus on us.

“Okay, see you then.”

As I hang up the phone, my mind is all over the place. There’s just so much going on, and I can’t focus on anything in particular, so in the end I choose to wonder who my best friend has been hooking up with. I’ve not really ever known her to have any particular boyfriend, so I can’t help but be curious about who has caught her eye. I’ve never known her be short of male attention because she’s gorgeous, so it really could be anyone.

I wonder if it’s someone I know, and that’s why she’s being so odd about it.

Then I take a deep breath and step outside to face the music with Enzo. I can instantly tell that he’s stressed about the whole thing, which makes me worried that he’s going to change his mind.

“So Arial wants to meet me at eleven,” I say with a very lighthearted tone of voice. “She has a lot of gossip for me, so it’ll be nice.”

“Okay,” he says resignedly. “I know that it’s important to see your friends, and you know that I’ll do anything to cheer you up.”

“I’m gonna get ready then,” I smile gratefully. “Thanks.”