Striker (64 page)

He looked out of the window again, traffic streaming across the
Tyne
Bridge
even though rush hour was long gone. But that’s what Ryan loved about living in a city – it never really got quiet. ‘It’s all I’ve got now, isn’t it?’ he said, clarity slowly beginning to creep in, realisation hitting him hard. ‘It’s all I’ve got.’

Chapter Twenty-Eight

‘How long does it take for people to move onto the next news story?’ Amber asked, throwing her bag down onto her desk, slightly flustered from trying to battle her way into the News North East building through the crowd of press and photographers still gathered outside. They were probably the same ones who’d been hanging around her street when she’d left for work; they’d just followed her here.

‘As long as it takes to get the conclusion they’re after,’ Kevin replied, handing her a mug of coffee.

She looked at her boss, frowning slightly as she took a sip of much-needed strong coffee. ‘Huh?’

‘You’re giving nothing away, Amber.’ Kevin leaned back against her desk, folding his arms. ‘Okay, so, we gave them what they wanted to hear last week when you spoke to us, when you gave us that interview explaining what had gone on – and kudos to you for keeping your relationship with Jim Allen a secret all these years, by the way. That must’ve taken some effort.’

‘Not really,’ Amber mumbled, starting up her laptop. ‘For a long time Jim Allen was in the past, where he should have stayed.’

‘But then he signed on as Red Star’s manager, didn’t he? And the press would still like to think that’s, in part, because of you. Makes a much better story, don’t you think?’

She looked at Kevin, taking another slow sip of coffee. ‘I’m not living in some romantic novel, Kevin. Jim used to play for Red Star; it’s a club that’s always been close to his heart. It makes sense that, when he was offered the job of manager, he would take it.’

‘So, you’re telling me he didn’t give you a second thought when he accepted the job?’

‘I’ve told you everything you need to know.’ She opened up her emails, quickly scanning the list before frowning again, turning back to look at Kevin. ‘And what do you mean, as long as it takes to get the conclusion they’re after?
What
conclusion, exactly?’

‘Well, everything’s still up in the air, isn’t it? Okay, so, your engagement to Ryan Fisher is off… That relationship’s over, am I right?’

Amber nodded, feeling her stomach dip as Kevin spoke, but she ignored it, returning to her list of emails as Kevin carried on speaking.

‘But as far as you and Jim Allen are concerned, everyone’s kind of waiting to see what’s going to happen there. Aren’t they?’

‘You including yourself in that?’ Amber sniffed, not taking her eyes off her laptop screen.

‘
Are
you and Jim Allen an item now?’

She waited a second before swinging round on her chair to look at Kevin, but she didn’t answer his question.

‘Is that it?’ Kevin exclaimed as Amber swung back round to face her laptop. ‘Is that all you’re saying?’

‘I didn’t say anything,’ Amber said, opening up the most urgent email in her inbox.

‘Exactly! And this is why the press are still hanging around, kiddo. They’re waiting for your next move.’

‘You make me sound like something out of a David Attenborough documentary.’ She looked at her boss again, smiling slightly at his exasperated expression. ‘They’ll get bored, eventually. Then they’ll go away and look for the next newsworthy piece of gossip.’

‘You reckon? Not today they won’t because you’re off to Tynebridge in a minute. There’s a press conference to introduce one of the new signings Red Star have made during this January transfer window and we need somebody down there to cover it, so…’

‘You’re doing this deliberately, aren’t you?’

‘Doing what?’

‘Sending me to Tynebridge when you know that puts me right in-between Ryan and Jim. It’s like you almost
want
to throw me to the lions.’

‘I’m asking you to do your job, Amber. That’s all.’

‘Yeah. Of course you are.’

‘It all kicks off – pardon the pun – at ten
0’clock
, kiddo, so I’d get organised if I were you. See you later.’

Amber watched him leave, sighing as her phone rang from the depths of her oversized handbag. Reaching inside she scrabbled around, trying to find the phone she’d casually thrown in there on her way out of the house, finally retrieving it from underneath a copy of the Newcastle Gazette.

‘Amber Sullivan,’ she said, answering the call without looking at the caller ID.

‘I could have been anyone, including another journalist trying to prise more personal details out of you.’

‘Ronnie,’ Amber smiled, sitting back in her chair, happy to hear his voice. He was like a shot of calm amid the crazy, complicated mess that still lay all around her. ‘You okay?’

‘Should be
me
asking
you
that, really. And check your caller ID before you answer the phone next time, alright?’

‘Yeah, alright. Sorry. I’m not used to this level of media attention, remember? Hang on… how did you know I
hadn’t
checked the caller ID before I answered your call?’

‘I know you, Amber, that’s how I know. Anyway, how are things between you and your dad? Has he calmed down yet?’

Amber closed her eyes briefly, trying not to remember the confrontation she’d had with Freddie Sullivan after the news of her and Jim’s secret past had been revealed. To say he’d been disappointed would be an understatement. He’d been angry – obviously – not to mention upset, but most of all, betrayed. That’s how he’d told her he’d felt when he’d first heard the news – he’d felt betrayed. And it was
his
reaction to it all that bothered Amber more than anybody else’s.
 

‘Well, yeah, he
has
calmed down a bit, I suppose. But to say his friendship with Jim is now severely strained is putting it mildly, really.’ She opened her eyes and leaned forward on her elbows, resting her head in her hand. ‘It was awful, Ronnie. When he said he felt betrayed, it broke my heart. Oh, he blames Jim for so much more than he blames me, but that’s not the point. We
both
kept secrets from him, and we shouldn’t have done that.’

‘Finding out your best friend slept with your daughter when she was just sixteen-years-old is bound to have an affect on any father, Amber.’

‘I don’t want to go over it again, Ronnie. It’s all still so bloody raw.’

‘Are you sleeping alright?’

‘Not really. There’s a lot going on in my head, y’know? A lot to think about.’

‘You’re not thinking about taking Ryan back, are you? Only, I’ve seen the stories in the papers, how he wants you back and…’

‘I’m not taking him back, Ronnie, don’t worry.’

‘Good girl.’

‘Anyway,’ she sighed, ‘… how’s
your
love-life going? Everything still going okay with your new girlfriend?’

There was a slight pause before Ronnie replied. A long enough pause to make Amber think something maybe wasn’t quite as straightforward as it should be. ‘I’m engaged, Amber.’

Now it was Amber’s turn to stay silent. Did he just say he was engaged? When had
that
happened? ‘Engaged…? I… When…? Aren’t you… aren’t you rushing into this slightly, Ronnie? I mean, this new relationship, this new woman, you’ve only known her five minutes, haven’t you?’

‘Not really. Amber…’

‘Not really?’ Amber suddenly felt her stomach sink. ‘Don’t tell me… Not… You’ve taken Karen back, haven’t you?’

‘I didn’t want to tell you just yet, Amber, but…’

‘How long, Ronnie?’ But Amber already had a sneaking suspicion she knew exactly how long it had been going on.

‘I should have told you, but…’

‘That’s why it was never going to work between you and Anna, wasn’t it?’

‘I couldn’t get her out of my head, Amber. You knew how much I loved her, what she meant to me, what our
marriage
meant to me…’

‘She slept with another man behind your back, Ronnie.’

‘And you’d know all about that, wouldn’t you?’

Amber said nothing for a second. ‘Okay. I probably asked for that.’

‘Jesus… I’m sorry, kiddo…’

‘That’s why you were off with me, wasn’t it? Just after you and Anna split up? Why you couldn’t even look me in the eye…’

‘Because I knew you’d react like this! And maybe now you’ll know exactly how I feel about you and Ryan.’

‘Yeah, but the big difference being, Ronnie, is that I’m not taking Ryan back.’

She heard him sigh down the phone. ‘I know what I’m doing, Amber. Really, I do. I can’t let her go; I’ve got to give her a second chance. You gave Ryan a second chance, didn’t you?’

‘I gave him more than that,’ Amber said quietly, fiddling with her pen. ‘Are you
sure
about this, Ronnie?’

‘You want me to be happy, don’t you?’

‘You know I do.’

‘Well, Karen makes me happy.’

Amber sat back again, staring out of the window, shielding her eyes as the low winter sun made an appearance from behind a barrage of grey clouds, instantly brightening the day. It would’ve been nice if it could have done the same for her mood. ‘Just – just be careful, alright?’ Amber said, pushing a hand through her long, tousled hair.
 

‘You’re beginning to sound like me, now,’ Ronnie replied, and she could tell he was smiling when he’d said that. She couldn’t help smiling, too. ‘So, do you think you and your dad are gonna be okay?’

‘Yeah, of course we are,’ Amber sighed, chewing on the end of her pen. ‘It’s just going to take a bit of time, isn’t it? Not sure whether his relationship with Jim is ever going to be fixed, though…’ She trailed off, checking her watch. ‘Look, Ronnie, I’ve got to go. I’ve got to get to Tynebridge for a press conference in an hour.’

‘January transfer window keeping you busy?’

‘Whether I like it or not.’

‘You okay with that?’

‘It’s my job, Ronnie. And if there’s one thing I’m determined all of this won’t do again is get in the way of my work. I can put my professional head on when need be, and you know that.’

‘Yeah. Yeah, I do.’

She said nothing for a second, just stared out of the window again, her eyes following a double-decker bus as it pulled away from the stop across the road from the News North East building. ‘I’m really happy for you, Ronnie.’

‘Thanks, kiddo. That means a lot. You take care now, okay? And I’ll see you soon.’

She hung up and threw her phone back into her bag. She’d see him soon. And that was going to have to do her, for now.

*

‘You alright, mate?’
Gary
asked, sitting down next to Ryan on the touchline, both of them taking a quick break from training.

‘What do
you
think?’ Ryan replied, staring straight ahead of him.

Gary
joined him in staring out at the rest of the squad kicking various balls around the muddy practice pitch. ‘I’m really sorry, Ryan. Me and my big mouth, huh?’

Ryan pushed a hand through his hair, but kept his gaze fixed firmly on whatever was happening in front of him. ‘It’s not your fault,
Gary
. I should have kept my mouth shut, too. I should have done a lot of things, actually. Or maybe – maybe I
shouldn’t
have done a lot of things… Jesus, I don’t know…’

Gary
reached out and quickly squeezed his friend’s shoulder. ‘Have you seen Amber? Since it all came out, about her and Jim?’

Ryan looked briefly at
Gary
before he turned away again. ‘I’ve tried ringing her but she rejects my calls. And I’ve seen her around Tynebridge a couple of times but, she just blanks me. All I want to do is make it better, y’know? I just don’t know if I can. I only know I’ve got to try.’

‘Is she… are her and Jim…?’

Ryan looked at
Gary
again. ‘How would
I
know? I don’t think so, I mean, even the boss has looked as though he’s carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. I gather the board have had a few words with him, because of everything that’s gone on. Don’t think he’s going anywhere, though.’

‘Yeah, well, they read the riot act to all of us, didn’t they?’

Ryan didn’t reply. His mind was starting to wander now. His concentration was wavering, even though he’d been warned to keep his mind on the football and stay focused. He might be Red Star’s biggest signing in recent months, and he might be their star striker, but if he put another foot out of line he had no doubt that the consequences wouldn’t be pleasant. Not this time. But he was finding it so hard to stay focused when all he could think about was Amber. He had no idea whether she and Jim had got back together – why would he? He’d hardly be the first person they told, would he? But there’d been nothing in the papers about any rekindled relationship and all he could do was take heart from that and hope that, despite their secret now being out, they saw no need to take that as some kind of permission to become an item again. He knew Amber. And she didn’t strike him as the kind of person who’d jump straight into a relationship just to get over a broken one. But then, had she ever really jumped
out
of her relationship with Jim Allen? Had she ever really loved
him
as much as she’d loved his boss?