STRINGS of COLOR (17 page)

"I can't let him go. I didn't get a chance to tell him…." Misty was in tears now. She couldn't believe it but there they were, flooding down her face.

"That you loved him?"

"You don't understand. We built Perfect Sound Studios together and we opened The Clue, together. We were just friends but I loved him."

"Misty, getting back The Clue or Perfect Sound is not going to change the fact that you didn't get a chance to tell him how you felt. I'm sure he knew."

"No, he didn't. We got into a huge fight the day he was…"

"In an accident?"

"Yes, in an accident. We fought because I was not being fair about the contracts I was having our clients sign and he didn't like it."

"Was he right?"

"Yes. He was always right. He was kind, gentle, and loving. All the things I wasn't. Yet he still loved me. I just couldn't accept it.

"I was so caught up in trying to make a name for myself that I didn't care whom I hurt, or how I got there. I pushed him away so many times."

"Like you are pushing me away?"

"I don't even know you like that, Jake."

"True, you only know what pieces of paper say about me, but that can be changed. You have to let love in, Misty."

"Love? We aren't even at the
like
part."

"That's why I asked you out to dinner. I want to get there with you."

"Why?"

"I told you already." Jake walked over toward Misty.

Her knees began to shake and she was sure he could hear them. She reached out her hand to keep him at a distance.

"Okay." she whispered as she stared at the floor. She was afraid to look directly at him, she was afraid she would change her mind.

Jake thought the apartment had shaken.

"Are you saying okay to dinner?"

"Yes, I am saying okay to dinner. Now, go back and sit on that couch." She pointed toward it with a hint of a smile on her face.

Jake laughed but he knew she was serious.

"Well now, I would say coming over here even at ten at night was worth the trip."

Misty smiled. The tears had finally begun to ease up.

"So, I guess that really was what you came over here for?"

It was Jake's turn to be serious. How he wished that was the only reason. He knew he had to tell her. She deserved it.

He decided not to beat around the bush any longer but to say it to her as straight and as frank as he thought she could handle it.

"I know who your mother is."

Misty thought perhaps he was still joking around.

"That's funny; I've known who my mother was all my life. In fact, she walked out on me and my father a long, long time ago."

"She wasn't your real mother, Misty."

"Something must have been in that beer, because you aren't making any sense."

"Your father's name was Freddie Lee Thomas?"

"So?"

"Your brother's name was Lynden Thomas?"

"You're not saying anything that I didn't already know."

"He is your step-brother. Your father raised him after he married the woman you think is your mother. He was around ten years old when you were born by means of another woman."

"What are you talking about? Look I don't know what type of ink you must be on, but I am now telling you to get up and get out!"

Now she was sorry that she had agreed to dinner.

"I have proof!"

"Then show it or get out, right now!"

Misty's hands began to shake again.

Jake reached over and turned the tape recorder on. Misty came over to the sofa and listened.

"Felicia once told me that love covers over. She said that it bonds together all the things that life tries to pull apart. I know you love her, so don't you give up. You may have to cover over some of the things she says, however hurtful they may be. They may even make you angry, but it's only because she is hurting. I know she loves you, she told me that herself."

C
arl drove down the highway going over everything that had happened at the restaurant. He had been driving around for a couple of hours.
Why are you shocked, man? You knew.
Nothing he said to himself helped. His heart ached. It was like a constant throbbing inside him.

When he looked up he realized that he was in front of her apartment building. He pulled over and leaned his head back.
What are you going to do?
Nothing, because I can't make a woman want to marry me. I can't make her love me.
That is where Carl knew he was wrong. He knew that Simone loved him. That, however, made the pain and the hurt it caused, even worse.

He was angry with her. Hurt and even confused. But more importantly, he just wanted the love of his life back.

I should have just listened to her and given her the time she asked for. I pushed and pushed until I pushed her away.

He needed to talk to someone. He thought about calling Jake. He even considered calling Monà, but that would look too desperate.

Who am I kidding
,
I am desperate
.

Just as he reached for his phone, it rang.

"Carl, its Jonathan. Felicia was in a car accident. We lost the baby. I've tried to reach Simone but haven't been able to."

"What? Slow down. What happened?"

"I don't know, but I promise you that I will find out. Right now, I'm just trying to get a handle on things while still trying to be there for Felicia."

"How is she taking it?"

"She's been crying ever since I told her. Man, I can't believe I almost lost her—my wife and now my child is…. gone. How do you find the strength to recover from that? I can't even imagine what she is going through as a mother. All I see is sadness in her eyes and it…it breaks me into pieces.

"It's so hard Carl, so hard.

"I look at her and I think to myself—I'm supposed to be the man. I'm supposed to be her rock and her strength and yet, I can barely hold it together myself."

"Just because you are a man, doesn't mean that you don't feel hurt. It doesn't mean that you don't suffer. Don't hide that from her. There is strength for a woman in a man's tears and don't forget that you lost a child too. That type of agony and depth of pain needs to be something that you share together. It's the only way both of you will start to heal."

Jonathan thought about what Carl was saying.

"You're right, but that still doesn't make it easy."

"No, it doesn't."

"Where is Simone?" Jonathan finally asked after neither of them seemed to know where to go from there.

"I last saw her a few hours ago." Carl hesitated. "I will try to get a hold of her."

"Please do. You okay?"

"Sort of, Simone and I are just going through a rough time right now."

"Don't give up on her, Carl. I know what she is going through and it's hard. I wasn't honest with Felicia when I first found out everything. I tried to handle everything on my own. In the end, it almost cost me my family."

"Felicia once told me that love covers over. She said that it bonds together all the things that life tries to pull apart. I know you love her, so don't you give up. You may have to cover over some of the things she might say or not say to you. However hurtful they may be. Some of what she says might even make you angry, but it's only because she's hurting. It's not fair, I know, but I also know that she loves you, she told me that herself."

"Listen to you…"

"Hard to believe, isn't it? Life has a way of showing you your stupidity; whether you like it or not."

"She called off the wedding."

"She's just scared. Give her some time, she will come around."

"I'm sorry man, I didn't mean to be telling you all of this while you're going through what you and Felicia are dealing with, but I can't help feeling like I lost her for good."

"It's a good distraction if that makes sense. Look, I don't know her that well. We've only spoken a few times since we met, but I do know that she wants to marry you. Just remember what I told you…love covers over."

"Thanks man. I'm so sorry to hear about the baby."

Jonathan went silent for a moment.

"I am too, but I'm thankful my wife is alive."

"The police don't have anything?"

"I really haven't had the time to speak with them. I saw a couple of officers when I got to the hospital but before I could ask any questions, Felicia ran into some complications. I almost…I almost lost her again."

"Go be with her."

"Yeah that's what my mother said as well. She left an hour or so ago."

"How is she doing? I heard about her husband."

"Man that was a shocker to me. I said some terrible things to her before I found out. Chris and I had our differences, but talk about a love that bonded two people together. Theirs' was really one."

"There is just so much going on man, so dog-gone much" Carl said as he thought about all that had happened lately.

"It's been a rollercoaster to say the least. Look, I need to go, but please get in touch with Simone for me."

"I will."

Just as Carl hung up the phone, he spotted Simone walking up to her building. His heart began to beat as he quickly made his way out of the car.

"Simone."

"Carl, is that you?"

"Yeah it's me."

As he got closer to her, he could tell she had been crying. It broke his heart.

She tried to smile as they stood in front of each other.

"Look about tonight…."

Carl stopped her. His heart couldn't take hearing it again.

"I just got off the phone with your brother. When he couldn't reach you, he called me. Felicia was in a terrible car accident. It seems she lost the baby."

"What? What happened?"

"He doesn't know yet, but from what I gathered, she's taking it pretty hard."

"Oh my goodness! I need to go there. I need to go right now."

Carl wanted to ask if she wanted him to take her, but he bit his lip to control himself from doing so.

"Can you take me there?"

He almost hit himself to keep from smiling.

They walked toward his car in silence. Neither of them was sure of what to say. Neither of them wanted to be the first to say what needed to be said.

Three little words that kept the love flowing— I am sorry.

They had been driving for about ten minutes when Simone couldn't take the silence any longer.

"Carl."

"We don't have to talk about it, Simone."

"Yes, yes we do. I said some things at the restaurant tonight, which were true, to be honest. Not all of them, but some of them were. I do feel as if you are constantly trying to tell me what I need to do. It's like you think that I'm not capable of making decisions on my own or handling things for that matter."

"I understand."

"Do you really, Carl?"

"Yes, I really do. I was pushing. Pushing so much because I thought I was losing you. I know you are capable of making decisions on your own. I just wanted you to see that I wanted to be included in them. I wanted us to talk about what was going on and work through what you're going through together."

"I know. I should have talked to you. I should have included you but I couldn't even include myself. I was so confused, Carl.

"I spoke to my mother."

"Which one… Naya or Monà?"

"Monà"

"Did it help any?"

"It was a start, but it made me realize that I need to see Naya as well. I need to get to know her. She is so much a part of my life now that I can't keep her out of it. I don't think my mother quite understands that. Actually, I got the impression that she feels threatened by me doing so."

"I'm sure that's natural; she raised you."

"I'm sure you're right, but she also lied to me."

"I wouldn't say that she lied to you. She is your mother. She loved you with all that she had. Did she withhold information from you? Yes. I'm sure she felt at the time, it was necessary."

"It sounds like you're taking her side."

"No, I'm just saying that I'm sure it is not easy to tell your child that you're not their parent. How do you find the words for that?"