Strong (6 page)

It slowly dawns on me. The
something different
that I see in Chase
is
his faith. I knew he went to church, but he seems to have an inner strength that I haven't encountered before.

I want to know more, but I'm still digesting everything he has just told me.

Before I rest my head on his shoulder, I give him one more kiss. 

I really want this kiss to say, “I love you,” even though I know I can't possibly be in love with Chase Nichols.

Yet.

Chapter 6

I wake up with light streaming onto my face from an unfamiliar window.  I had fallen asleep with Chase's arms wrapped around me.
I
know that nothing more happened but my family doesn't know that. I scramble up to find my phone.

Fell asleep on the couch at Chase's. Be home soon.

I hope my mom believes the quick text I just sent. She should – it's
true
. I hope she knows me better than to think I would have done anything else with Chase.

I wake Chase with a quick kiss and yelp, “I have to go!” He stretches and looks at the clock, “Yeah, you do!” After another kiss and one of his famous winks, I rush to my truck.

Fiona is sitting in the kitchen at home with two cups of coffee. As soon as I enter, she motions to the second cup. “It's for you,” she smiles mischievously. “I saw the text on Mom's phone. She's still asleep. Now, spill, or I will disown you.”

I feel a flash of embarrassment and guilt. I have always felt a substantial amount of responsibility to set a good example for my younger sister. Now I feel like I've thrown all of that out the window with my seemingly blatant indiscretion.

“Nothing happened!” I began.

“
Oh, gosh, I know
that
!” I'm sure my face is visibly relieved as Fiona reassures me that she believes the best about me. She continues, “I just want to know more about the guy who's stolen my sister's heart.”

“
Is it that obvious? Oh, my gosh, Fi, I've only known him for a few weeks! What is wrong with me?”

I then proceed to pour out every bit of information about Chase and me. About Chase. About his accident. About our first kiss the night before.

Every time I think that Fiona has got to be getting bored with my re-telling of every detail, I look at her and find her gaze completely fixed on my face, eagerly awaiting the next part of our tale. When I think I've told her every possible thing that has happened in the past week, I ask, “Do you think I'm crazy, Fi?  I can't really be in love already...can I?”

Fiona responds with a very unhelpful, “Who knows?” Followed by a huge, playful grin.

“Thanks a lot,” I roll my eyes at her. But then I lean over to hug her and tell her that I'm glad she's finally up to speed on my “love life.”

I start to clean up the dishes that have been left from the night before. My mom stumbles in and heads for the coffee. She is about to reach for her phone and it occurs to me:
I could have erased that message. She doesn't even know I was out all night. Why didn't I think of that before she woke up?

But it's too late, and sure enough, a moment later, she holds up her phone and questions: “Kate?”

“Yeah.” I clear my throat. “Chase and I talked almost all night, and we fell asleep...on the
couch
,” I emphasize. I'm trying very hard to sound nonchalant, but my apprehension is getting the best of my voice.

She breaks out a “mom sigh,” one of those breaths that she holds in her cheeks for a moment and then blows out all once. “I'm disappointed in you,” she finally says.

I turn sharply and insist, “Mom,
nothing happened
.”

“
Yes, I know, but I think you're getting way too serious about Chase. You just met him.”

“
Well, we've spent a lot of time together already and I think I know him pretty well.” 

“
You
think
?” She asks. “You only think that
because
you've spent so much time with him. Your feelings are already far too involved because you've already spent the night with him for heaven's sake!”

I no longer try to control my volume when I shout at my mother, “Mom we did not sleep together, and you said you believe me! I told you we stayed up TALKING. So what??? You could have a little more faith in me; you know, trust that I'm not stupid enough to have sex with a guy I just met!” 

My mom employs another one of her famous “mom tools” and brings her voice down to almost a whisper, but her words are still sharp and biting, “Katherine, I believe you, but you are not making very good choices. You just met him and you don't
really
know him yet. You cannot possibly be in love after a few weeks.”

“
I am
not
in love with him!” I yell and storm off to my room.

As much as I want to slam the door, I resist because I don't want to act the way my mom is treating me – like a child. But as soon as the door is locked, I burst into tears. There's so much emotion behind my outburst – indignation, embarrassment, frustration. 

I also have a twinge of of guilt about lying to my mom.

Because I think I
am
in love.

When I've sufficiently recovered from the debate with my mom, I text Dani: 
Spent the night with Chase
. I can't control my giggling as I sit back and wait for her response.

Exactly 2 minutes and 48 seconds later, my phone buzzes. Dani's voice on the other end screams, “What???”

I'm laughing hysterically. “We fell asleep on his couch,
talking
!”

“
Well, that sounds a little more like you, Kate. Sheesh, I was freaking out for a second there.”

“
I noticed.”

“
So?  Tell me more,” she presses.

I begin with the information that I learned the night before, about Chase's accident. “I didn't mention this before – I wasn't sure if it was important – but he walks with these crutches, Lofstrand crutches is what he called them. They wrap around his upper arm and he rests his hands on grips to help him control them. He moves really fast on them. Oh, and...we kissed last night.”

“
YEAH, he moves fast!” She laughs. “You kissed him already? My best friend who waits the whole school year to kiss her first boyfriend?  Sounds like the crutches don't hold him back at all.”

She slows down a little bit and then cautiously suggests, “Just be careful, okay?”

“
Great.” I'm sure my voice has a twinge of disappointment. “You’re starting to sound like my mom. She thinks I can’t possibly be in love yet.”

“
When love is right, it’s right. I trust your judgment more than anyone. But I don’t want you to fall for him before you know if
he’s
serious about
you.
If he breaks your heart, I will have to break his legs for good!”

“
DANI!”

A knock at my door drags me away from putting the finishing touches on my makeup.

“
Come in,” I call.

My dad makes his way over to my bed and sits down.  He does that a lot. It's one of my favorite places to talk to my dad – in the comfort of my own room. I always feel safe here, and my dad's demeanor adds to the effect. He always knows what to say and how to say it.

“So, did Mom talk to you?” I venture.

Dad nods.

“You believe me, right?” I question.

“
Of course, I believe you, Kate. You're a smart girl and I trust you.”

I breathe a sigh of relief.

“But Mom has a point, you know,” he continues. If it was my mom talking, I might have rolled my eyes. But somehow, I can receive direction better from my dad. “I really like Chase. You know I do. I trust him, too. But you're spending so much time with him that I don't want your heart to get ahead of your brain. I hope he has good intentions, but I don't want you to get your heart broken. He's been through a lot, and he still has a long road ahead of him with medical school.”

I swallow hard. “I know, Dad.”

“And I
do
want you to be careful not to get yourself into a situation where you can lose control of your emotions and make the wrong choices.” My face turns bright red. My dad has never talked to me so directly about sex before.

“
I know,” I insist.

“
You have something special that you don't want to give away to the wrong person. Or before it's the right time, which is when you're
married
,” he emphasizes.

I give my dad a stronger “I know.”

He's pushing the conversation out of my comfort zone. But he presses on, telling me quietly, “I think Chase
might
be the right one.”

I look at him with surprise. He chuckles a little and then finishes by saying, “But I still want you to guard your feelings...and the rest of you. Just be careful, okay?”

I hug my dad and confirm, “Of course, Daddy.”

My trolley shift drags on without Chase on board. 

Between tours, I spend some time pondering what Chase had told me about his faith getting him through the past four years.  My faith has always seemed important to me, but I don't necessarily act like it has a prominent place in my life. I had some “church friends” but I never really became close to them. Dani was always my best friend, and she wasn't interested in church at all. God is important to me, but I usually convince myself that I'll eventually become more serious about my faith. The idea of knowing God personally isn't foreign to me, but I've never met someone with Chase's conviction or the quiet strength he embodies.

My thoughts turn to my earlier conversation with my dad.  He is so firm, so solid. I can rely on him for anything. And, as evidenced by our earlier conversation, I can talk to him about anything.

I can't believe he told me that he thinks Chase might be
the one
. I trust my dad with all my heart, so this gives me some assurance that I'm not going crazy.

I sometimes think that God must be like an even better version of my dad – loving, tenacious, always there when I need Him. But occasionally, I tend to think God is more like my mom – kind of over-protective and determined to steal my joy. I know she's not an ogre, but she's so...sensible, to the point of not wanting me to take any risks. Ever.

What does God really want for my life? Isn't He proud of me the way that my dad is? Does He care how serious I am about
church
, as long as I am a good person? Chase is a good man. God wouldn't have any objections to my relationship with Chase, would He?

At the end of the fourth tour, I receive a text from Chase:
Dinner at my place tomorrow?

My quick reply?
Sure thing
!

Saturday morning, another text arrives:
Pick U up @4PM. Have to prepare U for the parents. LOL.

Shoot! 4:00 PM. Dinner. What was I thinking? I had Chase on the brain and not my job. I race to Fiona's room and wake her up. “Fi, if I clear it with Sam, can you cover my trolley shifts tonight?”

“Why?” She mumbles, still half asleep.

“
I'm going to meet Chase's parents tonight.”

Fiona sits straight up and laughs, “Oooh, you're meeting the parents already.  This
is
getting serious.”

“
Shut up!” I laugh. “Please say you can work for me? Please!”

“
Yeah, sure.” Fiona flops back down and throws the pillow over her head.

There is a knock on the front door at exactly 4:00. I'm still in my bathroom trying to get my long wispy hair to cooperate. The cold temperatures make it so dry that I can hardly keep it from flying up like I'm touching a static ball. I decide to pull it back into a long straight ponytail. I throw on some lip gloss and accentuate the ensemble with some tiny Christmas tree earrings.

I find Chase has already been greeted by Marcus. Surprisingly, they are having an intelligible discussion about some video game they both happen to like. I can't believe that Marcus has any conversational skills, but he is keeping Chase's interest as he describes how to beat a particularly difficult level in the game. I'm thankful that Chase doesn't seem to be holding a grudge about Marcus' insensitive comment a few nights ago.

As I come close to Chase, he turns to me and his eyes widen. “You look wonderful,” he says.

“I couldn't do anything with my hair,” I frown. 

“
It's beautiful,” he whispers in my ear and then places a kiss right next to my ear. “
You're
beautiful...
Katie
,” he says, testing his new nickname for me.

I crinkle my nose again, but I decide that I'll allow it for the time being. I'm still reeling from the fact that he just said I'm
beautiful
.

Marcus makes a gagging noise and I realize that the semi-civilized kid I saw a few minutes earlier has disappeared.

“So you want to show me how to behave in front of your parents?” I ask as I'm about to get my coat on.

“
No!” He blurts. “That's not it at all!” He laughs as he wraps an arm around me in a hug. “You're perfect. It's just that they still shelter me since the accident.”