Stronger Than Sin (16 page)

She followed the long, strong line of his arm up to his face, which had grown serious.

“About the kiss, Doc…”

She waved him off. “No need to apologize.”

He chuckled, and a hint of mischief glittered in his gaze. “Not apologizing, Liliana.”

She shouldn’t like the way her name sounded on his lips. He was her patient and therefore off-limits. He was unpredictable,
with violence just a hair’s breadth away at any moment. And he might be dying. Dying unless…

“I need to keep a level head. Maintain order and balance,” she cautioned, maybe more for her own welfare than his.

The glitter intensified in his gaze, and the dimple winked at her as his smile emerged. “Do I upset that order and balance?”

He cupped her cheek and ran his finger along an ever-intensifying flush. The heat of it warmed her skin, especially when he
dipped his thumb down to trace the edge of her lips.

She needed distance.

Immediately.

There was just one way to get it.

“I can’t trust you, Jesse. Your anger and your past. The future you may not have if I can’t—”

“Maintain order and balance,” he said, all of his earlier playfulness receding.

His gaze was colder now, an icy blue that froze her out. A hard, granite-like set to his features.

“I’m sorry, Jesse.”

“No need to apologize, Doc. I guess I’ll see you sometime tomorrow,” Jesse replied, hands fisted at his sides to keep from
reaching out for her again. He wanted to shake her until she admitted her feelings, but then again, she expected that kind
of behavior from him. Uncontrolled. Even violent, as she had seen earlier in the day.

It took all of his willpower to curb the twined serpents of anger and need roiling in his gut. But he did. Because he wanted
to prove something to her. Because he needed to prove it to himself.

He could be better than he had been before.

She made him want to be a better man.

She seemed to understand he was at the edge, since she gave a curt jerk of her head and her short strides carried her from
his bedroom.

Liliana’s soft footfalls came on the stairs, followed by a muffled conversation with Bruno, the distant rumble of the garage
door opening, and a car starting.

She was on her way home.

Somehow with her gone, his house felt even less like a home. Maybe because in the short time she had spent with him, something
had changed.

Something he wasn’t sure he could live without again.

He closed his eyes, imagining how different his life could be if he had someone who cared for him. Maybe even someone who
could love him. Envisioning that one day he might be the kind of man worthy of such affection.

But no matter what he imagined, Liliana was always in the picture. Always by his side, providing love.

An impossible future, Jesse thought, running his hand over the patch of bone on his side. Trailing it upward to rest directly
above his heart as he imagined it hardening, as well.

Love was not meant for him. Especially with a woman like Liliana, he thought, but somehow she came to him in his dreams once
again.

And as he had before, Jesse welcomed her embrace.

L
iliana phoned the lab just to make sure Carmen would soon be on her way home. Her friend was notorious for getting so involved
in a project that she lost all sense of time. More than once Carmen had worked through the night on an analysis or had forgotten
to get something to eat.

Carmen answered on the first ring, and Liliana admonished her to call it a night.

“Don’t worry. Ramon is coming by to get me when he gets off duty. We’re going to grab a bite before heading home,” Carmen
replied.

“Heading home? As in your home, or his?” she kidded while wondering if her cousin and Carmen had gotten to the spending-the-night-together
phase. If so, she wondered why she hadn’t noticed it before.

“That’s TMI for now, Liliana. I’ll see you in the morning,” Carmen confirmed and hung up.

Too much information, huh? Carmen had never been one to keep any kind of info from her before, but then again, in all the
time they had known each other, Carmen had not been seriously dating anyone.

And if she had to pick someone for her best friend, she couldn’t think of anyone better than her cousin Ramon.

Liliana strolled to her bedroom and changed into comfortable flannel pajamas. Even with their heavier weight there was a nip
in the air, so she grabbed a robe and slipped it on.

Although she’d had a long and demanding day, she was too wired to sleep. In the living room, she snapped on the ten-o’clock
news, but as she sat there, only half listening, her mind busy processing the overload of the day’s events, she stared out
the window.

Must be a full moon,
she thought, noticing the glint of silver on the waves and the brightness of the occasional wind-blown whitecaps.

A full moon might explain her earlier lunacy, she surmised and headed out to the small balcony off the living room. Her condo
was located on the side of the building, just one unit away from those that faced the ocean. Luckily that was forward enough
to still give her a view of the water.

Out on the balcony, a strong wind blew off the ocean, crisp and bringing the first warning that winter would soon arrive.
Out beyond the boardwalk, the dune grasses danced wildly in the wind while the pennants strung between a strip of stores and
the casino in Asbury Park fluttered and snapped.

A lone pedestrian, head tucked down into a heavy jacket, braved the boardwalk, his steps brisk as he hurried from Asbury Park
and deeper into the heart of Ocean Grove.

In the dim illumination from the streetlights, Liliana could make out the shape of the cross on the beach before her. It was
just one of several along the beach, a testament to God’s Little Square Mile on the Shore, as the town was proud to say.

She reached up and took hold of the gold crucifix she had worn all her life. It was cold beneath her hand, the surface smooth
from wear and prayer.

She needed prayer tonight. For guidance on what to do in her confusion about Jesse.

Her heart told her to trust, but her heart had been wrong before. She had loved and trusted her ex-fiancé, and he had both
mentally and physically abused her. If not for her brother Mick and for Caterina, it might have taken her longer to find the
strength to put an end to that relationship.

But she had found the strength.

And she hoped that she had become a better judge of a man’s character, but if she had, why did she find herself attracted
to Jesse?

An even stronger gust of wind whipped down the street, lifting the hem of her robe and snaking beneath to chill her to the
bone.

Time to go in, but as she settled down on her sofa, ready to let the monotones of the nightly news lull her to sleep, her
troubled mind continued to race.

She grabbed her laptop from the coffee table and powered it up. As it finished booting, a tiny prompt flared to life in the
corner, indicating that her sister Bobbie was online.

She launched Skype and called her, and soon Bobbie’s voice came across the computer speakers.

“
Hola, hermanita,
” Bobbie said, the tone of her voice morning bright, but then again, it was well into the day in Iraq, where her sister was
serving another tour.

Hopefully her last tour before coming home for college.

A second later, the video clicked to life, too, and there
Bobbie was, dressed in camo. Behind her sister, other female soldiers milled about and the framework of bunks and neatly made
beds were visible.

“
Hola,
Bobbie. How’s my lil’ sis?”

“Better than you, I think. You look tired, Lil,” Bobbie replied, leaning toward the web camera as if by doing so she might
get a better look.

“It was a long day. How are things there?” she asked, worry creeping in as it always did when she thought about the way her
sister risked her life.

“Things are okay. I can’t really say much, Lil,” Bobbie replied, and Liliana understood.

“I know,” she said with an intense sigh that her computer faithfully picked up and transmitted to her sister.

“But things aren’t okay with you, I can tell. What’s up? Troubles at work?” she asked, and a moment later, a burst of laughter
erupted behind Bobbie. Her sister turned, checked it out, and then returned her attention to her computer.

“So, is it work?” Bobbie prompted again.

With a shrug, Liliana replied, “You might say that. He’s a patient.”

Bobbie grimaced. “Tough one. Hippocratic oath and all that.”

All that.
Jesse was definitely all that, but also so much more that confused her. “He’s very handsome,” she told Bobbie and quickly
added, “And younger.”

“Legal, I hope,” Bobbie kidded, dragging a laugh from her sister.

“Definitely legal,
hermanita.
”

Bobbie’s brows knitted together. “Will he be your patient for long? Can you wait it out?”

Images of Jesse’s body with its patches of bone and
the wildly glowing plug of bone marrow flashed into her brain. She didn’t know how to control that. At least not yet, but
even if she did…

“Hell, no, Lil. Don’t tell me he’s dying,” Bobbie shot out, concern coloring her tones despite her harsh words.

No, Jesse wasn’t dying on her watch. But she also didn’t know how long it would be before he stopped being her patient.

“It’s complicated,” she said, totally uncertain.

Bobbie’s brows became even deeper furrows. “Complicated? Tell me the first word that pops into your brain when you think of
him.”

Shock and awe, Bobbie’s stock in trade.

“Sexy,” she shot back, grinning devilishly at the stunned look on her baby sister’s face.

Bobbie shook her head and then chuckled. “Got me. So what’s the second thing you think?”

Liliana shifted her gaze away from the webcam as she pondered it. Word after word popped into her brain before they all coalesced
into one apropos description.

“Unpredictable.”

Hooting and clapping her hands in amusement, Bobbie replied, “Unpredictable. To a woman who thrives on being practical—”

“Not necessarily,” she said, but Bobbie quickly countered with, “You own a ten-year-old sedan that no one under sixty would
be caught dead driving.”

“It’s reliable.” A predictable and boring response from a predictable and boring woman. Liliana only hoped that the webcam
couldn’t pick up the blush of embarrassment on her cheeks.

A loud sound came across the connection and Bobbie
turned to look over her shoulder. Bodies rushed back and forth in the background and Bobbie leaned closer to the camera.

“Gotta roll,
hermanita.
Be careful with Mr. Unpredictable.”

“Stay safe.” A moment later she was staring at a blank screen where her sister’s beautiful face had once been.

Worry for her sister’s well-being piled onto all her other concerns. Grabbing her cross, she murmured a quick prayer for her
sister and then turned her attention to the television screen. She flipped through channels until she found one where a narrator
was providing excruciating and monotonous detail about some nearly extinct furry creature living in some little-known forest.
Leaning back against the arm of the sofa, she pulled the blanket up to her chin and closed her eyes.

Half listening to the
blah-blah-blah
of the speaker, she allowed her mind to wander.

Predictably it roamed to thoughts of Jesse, but she didn’t battle them. Maybe dealing with him in her dreams would help her
handle him in real life.

Carmen was just locking up the lab when Ramon pulled his police cruiser into the parking lot.

Even in the dark she could see his perfectly white teeth in a broad smile. As she hurried to the driver’s side of the car,
he opened his window and leaned out slightly. From inside the car came the aroma of something spicy.

She inhaled deeply. “Hmm. That smells good.”

“I had Tia Mariel make up a sampler from their daily specials. Do you want to go to my place or yours?”

Her place was positively spartan, with few amenities for comfort, possibly because up until Ramon, she had spent most of her
time either in the hospital or helping out with some cancer research at a local university laboratory.

“Your place,” she replied without hesitation.

Ramon laughed and wagged his head. “One of these days we’re going to go shopping and get you some toys.”

“Why? You’ve got enough of them for both of us. Besides, I like spending time with you at your place.”

Ramon shot a look at the bulging knapsack she was carrying and pointed to it. “Does that mean you’ve got a change of clothes
in there ’cause you plan to spend the night?”

“It does,” she answered without guile. Man-woman things, like patient-doctor things, were out of her arena. She preferred
directness in her life, including her relationship with him.

She liked that he was just as direct.

“Good. My house—and my bed—are way closer than yours.”

She walked around to the passenger-side door and opened it. Sitting on the seat were a dozen red roses.

“For me?” she asked as she tossed her knapsack onto the floor of the car.

“Didn’t want you to think it was all about the sex. I like you. A lot,” he said, grabbed hold of the roses, and urged her
to take them.

The last time she had gotten flowers was from her father at her med school graduation. Tears stung her eyes as she slipped
onto the seat, took hold of the flowers, and pressed them to her chest.

“
Gracias,
” she said, her voice husky with emotion.

Ramon leaned over, grabbed her seat belt, and snapped it shut. After, he brushed his lips against hers and whispered, “Have
to take care of my girl.”

The feminist in her wanted to rear up, demand that he acknowledge she was a woman and quite capable of taking care of herself.
Hell, she’d been doing so for quite some time.