Stubborn Heart

Copyright

Published by

Dreamspinner Press

5032 Capital Circle SW
Ste 2, PMB# 279
Tallahassee, FL 32305-7886

USA

http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Stubborn Heart

Copyright © 2013 by Ken Murphy

Cover Art by L.C. Chase   

http://www.lcchase.com

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without the written permission of the Publisher, except where permitted by law. To request permission and all other inquiries, contact Dreamspinner Press, 5032 Capital Circle SW, Ste 2, PMB# 279, Tallahassee, FL 32305-7886, USA.

http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/

ISBN: 978-1-62380-474-9

Digital ISBN: 978-1-62380-475-6

Printed in the United States of America

First Edition

April 2013

For Andy.

He knows me better than anyone

and loves me anyway.

Prologue

“W
HAT
are you doing here so early?” David asked hoarsely as he peeked around the partially opened door. He was wearing nothing but a pair of low-hanging gym pants. His dark blond hair was still tousled from being in bed and his eyelids were heavy. It was fairly obvious to Mark that David had been awakened by the knocking on the door. If his current appearance was any indication, it had been a long night.

“I told you I’d pick you up this morning for breakfast,” Mark explained cheerily as he walked past David. He pulled off his coat and draped it over a chair. Mark was wearing a bright blue T-shirt that perfectly complemented his eyes, accompanied by tight-fitting jeans and plain white sneakers—all of which accentuated his trim, toned body. His light blond hair was curly on top, with the sides cropped short.

“You should have told me you wanted to sleep in,” Mark teased as he ran his hands through David’s hair, trying to tame it into place.

David took a step back and squeezed his eyes shut as if trying to clear his head. “What else was I supposed to do besides sleep?” he asked.

Mark shrugged. “This is our first day off together in forever, and you promised we could get an early start on shopping.”

“I guess I forgot,” David replied, running a hand through his hair. “Why didn’t you call to remind me?”

“I left you a message last night.” Mark eyed David curiously. “By the way,” he continued, gesturing toward the sofa, “when did the maid quit? This place is a mess!”

Messages? Did I have any messages?
David rubbed his head, trying to force himself to think clearly.
Damn!
he thought as he looked over and saw several items of clothing on the floor around the sofa. His eyes opened widely as he remembered the events of last night. Completely awake now, he knew he needed to get Mark out of the apartment. Now.

“Listen,” David said quickly, “I’m pretty tired. I don’t think I’m up for shopping today.” He placed a hand on Mark’s upper arm and tried to guide Mark toward the door. “Why don’t you go and let me get everything cleaned up? Maybe later this afternoon we can do something together?” David smiled sheepishly, hoping Mark wouldn’t be too pissed off.
I just wish I had remembered that we had made plans.

Mark turned and stopped abruptly. David glanced into Mark’s eyes and saw that he wasn’t looking at him at all. Following Mark’s gaze, David realized that, in his haste to answer the door, he had left the door to his bedroom wide open. Worse still, Mark could clearly see the outline of the person lying on the opposite side of the bed. “Holy fuck!” David muttered and then gritted his teeth.

Mark’s face was a mask, except for his eyes, which burned with a mixture of anger and hurt. “What is going on here?” he asked in a low, controlled growl. “And who the hell is in your bed?” He pointed toward the sheeted silhouette facing away from the door, only a mess of flaxen hair visible above the sheet.

“Mark, I’m sorry. I messed up. Bad,” David said, placing his hands on Mark’s shoulders. “But I can explain.”

Mark shrugged David’s hands off his shoulders. “You brought someone home last night?”

“I didn’t mean for it to happen; it just did,” David explained as he strode around the room, gathering up the clothes and dropping them in a pile beside the sofa. He kicked at them, trying to make the pile smaller, as if this simple act could make them disappear. Trying to figure out how to make this better, David turned back to Mark.
How could I have forgotten he was coming over here this morning?
he berated himself. “Listen, Mark, he’s an old friend I ran into last night in the bar. We both had too much to drink. We were sort of reminiscing and it got a little out of control. It was an accident. I didn’t mean for it to happen.”

Mark ran a hand through his spiky hair, and then pinched the bridge of his nose to prevent the flow of tears that were threatening to start.
I am not going to cry again. Not this time
. He took a deep breath and shifted his focus back to the man standing in front of him. “Let me get this straight, David.” Mark glared at him. If looks could kill, Mark’s steely blue eyes would have melted David on the spot. “You accidentally picked up someone, accidentally brought him home, and accidentally fucked him. Then you accidentally forgot to send him home, even though I told you I would be here this morning.” Mark huffed angrily and looked away. “Who the hell knew you were so ‘accident’ prone?”

“I told you: I forgot we had plans,” David said softly.

Mark recoiled as if he had been slapped. He stared at David in amazement, his face flushing a deep crimson color. “Do you really think that makes any difference?”

“No, it doesn’t make anything right,” David said in a calm, subdued voice. He looked down at his feet to avoid Mark’s eyes. “Look, I already said I was sorry. I don’t think we should talk about it anymore right now. You are too angry. And I know, you should be angry. But I think we should take some time to cool off and talk it out later. I promise I can make this right. You know how much you mean to me.”

Mark glanced through the open door to David’s bedroom and shook his head. Whether he was still sleeping or just pretending was hard to say. Either way, Mark was glad he didn’t have to interact with another person. Still, it was hard to concentrate with the evidence of David’s infidelity just a few feet away. He walked over and sat on the sofa, his back to the open door.

Noting Mark’s distraction, David hurried over and pulled the bedroom door closed. “I’m sorry,” he repeated, spreading his hands out in front of him. “I know this was stupid.” David strode back into the living room, dropped down on the sofa, and took Mark’s hands in his own. He lowered his voice until it was barely above a whisper. “But you know it doesn’t mean anything. You know I love you. He’s just an old friend that I used to have sex with.”

“Yeah,” Mark sneered, “like, five minutes ago.”

“I said I was sorry, Mark. Like I told you before, we’re just old friends and got carried away. It really doesn’t mean anything. You are what’s important to me.”

“You keep saying the same lame things over and over again. ‘I love you.’ ‘It doesn’t mean anything.’ How can you say it doesn’t mean anything?” Mark asked, his voice rising slightly. He lowered his voice again. “You’re fucking around on me. Again. At least this time, I don’t have to sit and listen while you try and figure out a ‘nice’ way to tell me that you cheated on me. Again.” Mark waved his hand toward the bedroom door. “The evidence is right here in front of my face.”

“Shit!” David slouched back against the sofa, then bolted upright again. “I know I deserved that.” He stood up and began pacing around the room. “I don’t know what happens to me; it’s like I can’t control myself when you’re not around. This is exactly why I have been pushing you to move in with me. I don’t fuck up like this when you’re with me. You keep me grounded. You keep me focused. I know things will be better when we’re living together.”

Mark sighed and rubbed his hands over his face. “David, you’re my boyfriend, not my dog. I have no desire to keep you on a leash. If I have to always wonder what you’re up to when I’m not around, I’ll never be able to trust you. And if I can’t trust you, we have nothing.”

“But you can trust me!” David shot back. “I will do better, you’ll see. I love you, Mark! You’ve got to believe that. Just give me one more chance!”

“Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!” Mark cursed under his breath. He stood up and prepared to leave. The tears he had fought so hard to hold back now flowed gently down his cheeks. “The dumb thing is, David, I do believe you love me. And I know that I love you.” Mark slowly exhaled and his shoulders slumped as though he had deflated. He walked over and picked his coat up from the chair where he had left it. He sniffed and used both palms to push the tears from his face. He turned back to look at David once again. Shaking his head, Mark continued, his tone calm but resolved, “But that’s not enough for us to work. It’s not enough to make it work for me.” He opened the door and walked out of the apartment, then pulled the door closed behind him.

Chapter 1

“H
EADS
or tails?” Carla asked, looking up at Mark as he filled in the assignment board with the names of the staff nurses coming on duty. It was just before seven in the morning. All of the staff were preparing for the shift change. Like the rest of the staff nurses, she was dressed in a blue scrub uniform. Her long black hair was braided and gathered behind her head.

“Tails,” Mark called over his shoulder without thinking. He continued writing on the board, focusing his attention on balancing the staff workload. “No, wait.” He paused. “What are we flipping for?”