Stud (43 page)

In the general conversation over dinner, most of the party decided to spend the night in hotels rather than take advantage of Dax’s hospitality. This trend seemed to be led by Vertigan, and the others followed suit. The mantle of leadership had passed and Tarq had no desire to take it back. Lucy didn’t say a word about where she intended to stay, but it was beginning to look like Tarq wasn’t even going to get a last night with her. Not unless he begged. None of their companions mentioned that Lucy was his mate, either. Though it had been news to Natasha, apparently they presumed that Dax and Waroun knew all about it.

Then there was Vertigan’s offer to Lucy. She hadn’t said a word about it yet and Tarq had no idea whether or not she and Vertigan had discussed it. He hated to be considered selfish, but he didn’t think a man should have to share the woman he loved with another mate. And what if she chose Vertigan over him? Tarq sat through the meal, picking at his food, unable to stomach more than a few bites of it. His entire life was on the line, even more so than it had been when he’d battled against vrelnots or during the fight with Fred and his cronies—or even when he’d left his home and found his way to Amelyana’s ship. What would his life be like without Lucy by his side, just as she was now? How could he possibly endure the years ahead alone?

He glanced at Lucy’s plate. She wasn’t eating much either. The protective effect from his semen had probably worn off, for it had been several days since they’d made love.

Made
love.
It wasn’t simply sex anymore—possibly never had been. As far as Tarq was concerned, their time together was all about love, not simply procreation, and the mere thought of not being able to love Lucy forever was almost more than he could stand. She was probably feeling sick again too. And there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it.

***

With arresting hazel eyes and dark hair that curled so tightly it resembled dreadlocks, along with the feline eyes, fangs, and pointed ears that marked him as a Zetithian, Dax was every bit as gorgeous as Tarq but in a completely different way. A single gold hoop dangled from his ear and a flame tattoo curled up one side of his neck to his jaw, which when compared with Tarq’s wholesome blond good looks, gave him the appearance of a very bad boy.

But those looks were deceiving. His mate Ava, a petite half-human blonde with huge aquamarine eyes inherited from her Aquerei father, had joined them for dinner, and Dax couldn’t have demonstrated his love for her more clearly than if he’d shouted it from the rooftops. Waroun, Dax’s business partner and navigator, was a typically irreverent Norludian, and between himself and Terufen, he kept everyone in stitches throughout the meal—everyone, that is, except Lucy.

Though she did her best to chuckle along with the rest of the party, Lucy had never felt less like laughing in her life. Her hands were icy cold and her stomach was twisted into so many knots it was difficult to tell whether what she was feeling had anything to do with her pregnancy or whether it was due to Tarq’s imminent departure.

Dax and Waroun waiting for him had probably seemed like a godsend to Tarq, but Lucy felt like she’d been punched in the belly when she’d heard they were already on Talus. Though perhaps it was better this way. No last night to spend with him, no pretending to love him when no amount of pretending was required…

She sat back in her chair, resting her elbow on the arm while blinking back tears, her knuckles pressed tightly against her lips. If anyone noticed, they would probably assume she was only trying to keep her dinner from coming back up, but they’d have been wrong. It was all she could do to keep from screaming out the truth or professing her undying love for Tarq, one or the other—she didn’t know which. Either one would have caused acute embarrassment for both herself and Tarq, and she wasn’t about to give in to it. She was going to end this with grace and dignity; she wouldn’t cry, wouldn’t plead with him to take him with her. Then, and only then, would she go find a hotel room somewhere and give her tears the vent they so desperately needed.

She could feel Vertigan’s eyes upon her. He was waiting for an answer but she still couldn’t give him one. She hated to think that he was Plan B—and he probably wouldn’t have liked the idea either—but not knowing what would happen next kept her quiet.

Did she dare hope for a truly happy life together with Tarq? Or would she settle for a so-so existence with Vertigan?

No! She couldn’t do that. She didn’t love Vertigan. It was that simple. It would be different if she hadn’t known what loving Tarq felt like, but now that she did, nothing short of that would do.

Vertigan’s weren’t the only eyes fixed upon her. Glancing up, she met Traldeck’s gaze. Oh, yes, he knew—beyond a shadow of a doubt. The smile he gave her was obviously meant to be reassuring, but Lucy couldn’t even smile back, only able to acknowledge him with the slightest lift of her brow. Had Vertigan discussed his offer with his brother? Had Traldeck assured him that she and Tarq were merely pretending to be mates? If so, it would explain Vertigan’s silence. He might simply be waiting for Tarq to leave.

Kotcamp and Terufen gave every inclination that they intended to party all night long. However, Faletok and Crilla both looked exhausted, and Bratol, who had been jovial throughout the meal, was also beginning to show signs of fatigue. Lucy would miss them almost as much as she would miss Tarq—almost, but not quite. Vertigan’s deepening scowl made it clear that he realized Lucy didn’t want another husband. She hadn’t said anything but knew she should take him aside and explain the whole mess. But he might assume that she would take him as soon as Tarq left, which was
not
what she wanted.

Vertigan was sitting across the table from her. All she had to do was catch his eye…

Moments later, his electric blue eyes locked with hers. Wistful sadness washed over her as she held his gaze, then slowly she shook her head. His eyes reflected his emotions as they passed from disappointment to anger, and then to acceptance. He became restless, shifting in his chair, clearly demonstrating his desire to be elsewhere. When Traldeck nudged Natasha, undoubtedly murmuring his suggestion that they call it a night, Lucy let out a shuddering sigh. Traldeck probably thought he was doing her a favor—and perhaps he was. Lucy had been tortured long enough. No matter what the outcome, it was time to get it over with.

As the party broke up and good-byes were said and hugs exchanged, Lucy promised to visit Natasha and Traldeck soon. Vertigan shook her hand with a tight-lipped nod. She wanted to apologize, to say she was sorry she couldn’t love him, but he turned away before she had the chance.

“And we’ll have to have a reunion party next year,” Terufen insisted. “This was the best time of my life.”

Lucy couldn’t argue with that sentiment. With a growing ache in her heart, she waited until the others had departed, steeling herself for the moment she had always known would come eventually. Having had a little practice didn’t help at all. The same sinking feeling she’d had when she’d spotted the clump of trees that marked the turnoff to Natasha’s farm hit her as she turned to Tarq, only this time that feeling was quadrupled. No, this wouldn’t be easy. She’d be lucky to get through it without bursting into tears.

Lucy held out her hand. “Well, Tarq, I guess this is good-bye. I’m sure you want to get on with your… mission or work or whatever you call it.”

Tarq stared at her in complete and utter disbelief. She was actually smiling. Surely she wouldn’t reject him—wouldn’t hold his past against him. Not now. Not after all they’d been through together. He’d witnessed the exchange between Lucy and Vertigan, and it had given him hope. Now he realized his mistake. She was leaving him. As soon as she caught up with Vertigan, she would begin a new life. A life that should have included him.

Waroun giggled. “Hottest damn stud in the galaxy! He’s got so many women clamoring for him, he—ooof!”

Dax had silenced his buddy with an elbow in the ribs that would have him hurting for a long, long time.

“You can’t possibly mean that.” Tarq’s heart felt as though it had taken a plunge over the falls. “It’s because of Vertigan, isn’t it?” Not waiting for a reply, he took her hand. “Look, I know I’m not very smart, and you don’t need me because you’re already pregnant, which means I’ve done what I’m best at, but don’t you love me just a little?”

Lucy gazed at him with an expression more bleak than any Tarq had ever seen. “Don’t make this any harder than it has to be, Tarq.”

“But does it have to be good-bye? Lucy, I
love
you. I know I’m not good enough for you, and I know you can take care of yourself perfectly well without my help—or Vertigan’s—but please don’t walk away from me again.”

Lucy let out a sob and there was a tremor in her voice when she spoke. “I tried so hard not to love you. I’ve been telling myself not to let you get to me because I knew I’d have to give you up. Do you have any idea how that feels?”

Tarq nodded. “Oh, yeah. I know
exactly
how that feels.”

She drew in a ragged breath. “But you could have anyone… anywhere…”

He shook his head slowly. “The only one I want is you.”

Tears poured from her eyes, forming rivulets that ran down her cheeks. Tarq longed to kiss them away and make absolutely certain that they never came back. “All this time we’ve been together… You might have at least said
something
.”

“I told you I wasn’t very smart.”

Her eyes flashed with anger and she stomped her foot. “Don’t say that!” She all but shouted it at him, her sudden vehemence startling Tarq to the point that he actually took a step backward. “Don’t you
ever
say that again! I know damn well you can’t read worth a darn. I’ve known it for ages and I don’t care. Do you hear me?
I
don’t care.
You’re the best, smartest, most wonderful man I’ve ever known. There’s nothing wrong with you. Absolutely
nothing
.”

“I wasn’t smart enough to say anything about how I felt. I’ve been waiting until now to tell you, but I didn’t think you needed me—or
wanted
me.”

She stared at him incredulously. “How could you possibly think that?”

“You’re very good at pretending, Lucy. You never told me how you felt.”

Lucy’s eyes widened. “Like I was supposed to tell the most handsome, sexy, desirable man in the galaxy that I loved him with all my heart? You heard what Waroun said, and I’m sure he’s right. There are probably hundreds of women who want you—and those are just the ones you’ve met. There are probably thousands more who’d give their right arm for one of the last Zetithians.”

Tarq spread his arms and looked around him. “Then where are they?” He stopped, shaking his head. “They aren’t here because they don’t want me. I’m nothing but a big dumb stud. Vertigan is a better man than I’ll ever be.”

“No, he isn’t. He’s a decent man, but he doesn’t have your kindness, your humility, your ingenuity, or any of the other things that make you so special. And you
are
special, Tarq. I’m simply not deluded enough to think that you could ever return the love of an ordinary little waitress like me.”

It was Tarq’s turn to be angry. “There’s nothing ordinary about you, Lucy,” he snapped. “You’re smart and sweet and wonderful—much too good for the likes of me. I kept telling myself that, but it didn’t stop me. I loved you anyway.”

Tarq couldn’t say another word. All he could do was hold out his arms. Lucy hurled herself into them and Tarq seized her, raining kisses all over her face, tasting the salt of her tears mixed with her own uniquely powerful essence. “Don’t ever leave me again, Lucy. You’re my mate and have been from the very first moment we met. I’ll die without you.”

Lucy was still sobbing uncontrollably, her face buried against Tarq’s chest when Dax took him by the arm. “Come on. Let’s get back to the ship.”

Tarq scooped Lucy up in his arms and carried her to Dax’s speeder, vowing not to let go of her again until the
Valorcry
was at least ten light years away from Talus Five.

Chapter 28

Soft lights, smooth sheets, and the woman he adored. Tarq was in heaven as he nuzzled Lucy’s neck, purring more contentedly than he ever had before. Surrounded by her scent, her love, and her arms, his body said all the words he’d found so hard to voice before, but no longer. Whispering in her ear as he moved inside her, he spoke them aloud, both in his own language and in the one she understood.

“My dear, sweet Lucy. I love you so.”

She smiled up at him, her touch on his face as gentle as her gaze. “You’ve been telling me that all along, haven’t you?”

Nodding, he shifted his weight, his cock seeking a new angle to further demonstrate his feelings. “I can’t remember when I didn’t love you, but I didn’t think you wanted me so I told you in my native tongue and let you wonder. You were too convincing with words, acting as though you were only taking pity on me, but when you were here with me, letting me love your body the way I craved, I could feel it. And your scent was like no other.”

“So it’s not just because I’m pregnant?”