Styxx (DH #33) (20 page)

“Once your hair grows back, no one will know it exists except me, you, the guard I paid this morning to brand it there … and whatever lover you allow to suck your cock. In theory, if it disturbs you overmuch, you can have someone brand over it. Of course, they’ll know what it is. And even if you do distort the brand, it will be obvious what you’ve done and why you did it.”

Estes pulled the mirror away. “Now, all I have to do is report you as a missing slave anywhere outside of Didymos and you will either be returned to me or sold at market. And keep in mind, my little squirrel, I didn’t just brand you as a slave. I’ve marked you as a trained tsoulus. If you want to know what happens to any tsoulus who is caught without their
idikos,
talk to Acheron. One time was all it took for him to learn not to leave this palace without me and a substantial escort.”

So that was why his brother had refused to go with him.…

Great.

“Lastly, in case you’re thinking you can bribe one of my servants to tell your father that I kept you here against your will … none of them except two members of my personal guard ever knew you were here.
None
of them. And while you were fucked numerous times by twenty-two different men, not counting me, they will never breathe a word of it for many reasons.”

Estes returned the mirror to the bedside table. “As I said, I’m letting you go this one and only time with a warning because I love Xerxes, and while he is uncertain about your origins, he does love you, and your loss would completely devastate him. But should you
ever
come near Acheron or Atlantis again, I will own you, body and soul. So rather than worry about your brother, you should be worried more about your own lusciously fuckable ass.”

He lifted Styxx’s right ankle up, freeing it from the hook that had held it. Next, he removed the gold cuff. Then he moved to the other.

“Oh … I almost forgot.” He went back to Styxx’s head and pulled out his gag. “Open your mouth.”

“Fuck you!”

Estes laughed. “Little stallion, you already have. Many times and in many ways, and you will do so again many more. Now open your mouth.”

Styxx refused.

“Suit yourself. But do be careful. Should the
erotiki sfaira
in your tongue strike your teeth, it will break them.”

No …

Styxx rubbed his tongue against the roof of his mouth and then froze in horror. It was true. He did have one.

Estes winked at him. “You’re not quite as accomplished at using it as Acheron, since he’s had a lot more experience, but you came a long way fast.… Now, would you like me to remove it?”

Styxx opened his mouth immediately.

Laughing, Estes took it out then held it up with a smile. “I shall keep this as a memento of our sweet time together, and in hopes that one day you will be stupid enough to return here.” He released Styxx’s right arm. “Now ready yourself to leave while I try to find an escort that will take you home without riding you every step of the way. And don’t worry if they do—I’ll send some herbs with you that will help with any pain they cause.” Then he was gone.

Stunned to the core of his being, Styxx lay there, trying to absorb everything Estes had said. To come to terms with what had been done to him without his consent or knowledge.

Things he had no recollection of at all …

After a few minutes, he got up and went to bathe. The fact that he knew instinctively where to go added validity to everything Estes had told him.

In the bathing room, which had mirrors lining all four walls, he froze at the sight of himself. His hair was longer and he had a light dusting of whiskers on his chin and cheeks. Yet what filled him with complete consternation were the marks all over his body. Not just the brand that was still raw and bleeding, but dozens of bruises, scratches, and bite marks. He could see where someone had suckled different parts of him, and in some places, such as his thighs and arms, there were complete handprints.

And he had no memory of any of it. Not a single glimmer.

Part of him was grateful for that. Yet at the same time it was the most disconcerting thing imaginable. To know that you had been violated and used and to know nothing of the people who had done it to you.

Not entirely true. He knew Estes …

Covering his face with his hands, he wanted to scream from the horror of it.

At least Acheron doesn’t remember
. Unlike Styxx, his brother would never know what had happened to them. What they’d been forced to do.

It’s all my fault. All of it
. Had he just stayed home, like Estes had said, it wouldn’t have happened. He should have worried about his own ass more than Acheron’s.

I won’t ever make this mistake again
. He’d come to help his brother and Acheron had handed him over to their uncle. It was a lesson he wouldn’t forget. Ever.

He would never forgive Acheron for that. How could he? Given how twisted Estes was, it was the worst sort of betrayal.

Styxx looked down at the words branded on his groin and rage filled him anew. While Acheron was marked with a general slave symbol, he didn’t have “whore” written on his body.

In two languages.

If anyone ever saw it, it’d be worse than having them ask about the scars the priests had given him. They would know Styxx had been whored.…

No. Trained and then whored.

Consumed with hate and fury, Styxx picked up the stool next to him and slammed it up against the glass, shattering it. Bellowing with the weight of his humiliation, he pounded the wall until he was spent and too tired to continue.

Surrounded by broken glass, he sank to his knees and raked his hands through his hair. How could he ever face his father? Or anyone else knowing what’d been done to him?

Acheron was right …

For all his title and worldly position, Styxx
was
powerless.

October 28, 9533 BC

Styxx’s hands shook as they rode through the gates of his father’s palace grounds. He found no joy at his homecoming. Just an awful sense of dread and desolation. But at least now he’d be free of his uncle’s men, who’d proven to be every bit as depraved as the bastard they served.

As they neared the palace, he looked up to see his father, Ryssa, and their servants gathered to welcome him back. The musicians started their fanfare.

It took every ounce of his will not to jerk his horse around and spur it into a dead run to get as far away from here as he could. He couldn’t imagine what punishment his father would give him for leaving without notice. He could already hear the rant in his head.

Is that your answer to your problems, boy? To run away like a coward? To abandon your kingdom because you didn’t feel well, et cetera, et cetera.

He’d be lucky if he didn’t get slapped on the stairs in front of everyone.

Dismounting, Styxx took a deep breath and forced himself to climb the steps to where his father waited. He’d only taken two of them before his father came rushing down them to grab him into a fierce embrace. He cradled the back of Styxx’s head in his great paw of a hand and held him as if he were a small child.

“I have missed you, boy,” he breathed before pulling back to place a kiss to each of Styxx’s cheeks. “No, not boy.” He put his hands on Styxx’s shoulders and smiled at him. “You’re a man and I mustn’t forget that.”

Who are you and what in the name of Hades have you done with my father?

Terrified, Styxx glanced around, but no one else seemed to think this odd.

His father pulled him back into his arms and held him there for a full minute before he kissed his head and released him. “How was your trip?”

I’d have rather journeyed through Tartarus with scorpions strapped to my groin.

“Fine.”

“You look as if you’ve grown again. I swear you’re taller every day. Let me know if your armor doesn’t fit and I’ll have more made immediately.”

You’re fucking with me, aren’t you, old man? We’re going to go inside the palace and then you’ll slap the shit out of me.

Taking his arm, his father led him to Ryssa, who greeted him with her usual snotty aloofness.

At least someone hasn’t been partaking of lotos.

She lightly kissed each of his cheeks. “I want you to know that you almost killed your father with worry. Until he received Uncle’s letter, he thought you kidnapped or worse.”

“Ryssa!” his father snapped. “Mind your place, woman.”

“I am minding my place, Father. He should know what he put you through with his thoughtless selfishness. It’s time he learned to think of someone other than himself.”

“Bah, pay her no heed. She’s a woman. She doesn’t understand the needs of men. Come, Styxx, I have the wine warmed and fresh bread and cheeses for you. I’m anxious to hear how things are with Estes and Atlantis.”

Styxx felt his sister’s glare on him the whole way up. And he also noticed the one person who wasn’t there. “How’s Mother?”

His father sighed heavily. “Ever the same. Lost in her cups.”

And hating them all with every sip she took. Except for Ryssa, who could never do wrong.

As they entered the dining room, his father released him so that he could take a seat while the servants brought them refreshments.

This messed with his mind even more than what Estes had done to him. “Father? May I ask something?”

“Absolutely.”

Styxx indicated the mini banquet that was set out. “What is all this? I was expecting your anger and censor.”
The back of your hand across my mouth …

“To be honest, I am angry. Furious, point of fact. But when your uncle wrote to me, he reminded me of a few things.”

His stomach drew tight with dread. “Such as?”

“That at your age, I was married and expecting my first child.”

Both his father’s wife and child had died during the birth. He’d married Styxx’s mother a year later.

“And that I was only a handful of months older than you when I ascended to the throne. He was right. I do still see you as an infant and I have too long treated you as one. I should never have had you whipped on your return. You’re too old for that. It’s time I trusted myself and your tutors to have given you the foundation you need to be the man I know you can be. Far too long, I have allowed my fears and doubts to color my sight where you’re concerned.” He tapped his fingertip against the table. “From this day forward, that changes.”

Leaning back, his father rang for his servants. “Fetch the prince’s gifts.”

Completely floored, Styxx didn’t move until they brought in a kopis, xiphos and hoplon and placed them on the table before him. They were supposed to have been given to him months back, but his father had refused.

You’re not fit for them.…

Rising, his father handed him the sword. “Galen assures me that this will please you.”

Amazed by its beauty, Styxx stood and unsheathed it. Similar to Galen’s, this one was marked with a laurel crown and the words “to be rather than to seem.” Then he looked at his red hoplon that held a black phoenix with the same crown above it. The crest was topped with the words “I defend.” Even though he’d been informed of their creation, this was the first time he’d actually seen them.

“Thank you, Father.”

His father inclined his head to him. “You are now the champion of this kingdom, and you have earned the honor.”

Strange, he felt more like a fraud. He wasn’t a man. In truth, he wanted to go hide until his shame and pain were gone.

How would you look at me, Father, if you ever learned what was done to me?
That he was so weak and ineffectual that he’d been held down and used against his will, and that the only thing he’d been able to do was cry while they violated him.

Even their scold …

His father gave him a quick embrace. “I know you’re tired from your journey. Go and rest. We can speak later.”

Yes, he was tired. But more than that, he was confused and he had no one to turn to with it. No one to confide in. The bitter reality of that slapped him hard. He was alone in his hell and maybe that was the way it should be.

’Cause the gods knew he never wanted anyone to know the horrors he’d been through.

As he turned to leave, his father stopped him. “By the way, your room’s been moved.”

“Pardon?”

“It was a boy’s room.”

Frowning, he followed his father up the stairs to the opposite wing, where his father’s chambers were. While his father’s room was at the end of the hall, Styxx’s was just off the stairs now.

His father opened the door then stood back for Styxx to enter. The moment he did, his eyes went wide. Massive compared to his old room, this one was finally the size of his sister’s. Made up of four rooms that opened into each other, it had its own dining room, bedchambers, receiving area, and bathing room.

“Does it please you?”

“Yes, Majesty.”

His father started to leave then grabbed him into another massive embrace. “Your sister was right,” he whispered in Styxx’s ear. “I thought I’d lost you forever. I pray to the gods that you never know the sorrow and fear I felt in my heart when I found you gone with no explanation, and I pray that I never know it again. I love you, Styxx. To the depth of my soul.”

The incongruity of that statement with the things his father had said and done to him in the past …

It ranked with his mother’s semi-sober declarations of maternal love and affection she’d occasionally given. And they all left him baffled.

If you really loved me, how could you banish my twin as if he was nothing?

How could his father have walked out on him when he’d been broken and bleeding in the Dionysion?

No matter what his father said, did, or gave, nothing would ever undo either of those actions. How could it?

Clapping him on the shoulder, his father turned and left.

Styxx set his swords and shield on the dining table and tried to come to terms with everything that had happened to him in such a short amount of time. Nothing felt real right now. It was as if he walked in a dream, detached from his body and from the world.