Sublime Wreckage (16 page)

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Authors: Charlene Zapata

Tags: #Mental Health, #love, #abuse, #Life Choices, #New adult, #friendship, #Tragedy

BOOK: Sublime Wreckage
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The next few days go by without any major incidents. My mother sleeps all the time except when I bring her food. I'm back to work so I haven't had much time to spend with Vince. Amanda has been insisting on hanging out after school until I have to go to work. She told her dad we had some project to work on for school. I think she just wants to get out of working at the shop. So we go to Vince's house after school. Vince and I work on homework while Amanda watches tv. They are getting to know each other better which only makes Amanda harass me about dating him all the more.

I was able to catch up on all my schoolwork with Vince's help. He really is amazing. Who would have thought that under his rough exterior there was such a sensitive, intelligent, incredible guy? Yet another reason you should never judge a book by its cover. We seem to be talking more on the phone lately. I have more time to myself when I'm home since my mother hasn't gotten out of bed in almost two weeks. My body has healed completely which means I can go for a run. It's close to 9 o'clock so I decide to text Vince to see if he wants to join me. I know he doesn't like it when I'm out late at night alone. His response makes me laugh.

You mean like run with you? Can't I just follow you in my car?

No. You have to run. I will take it easy on you. Drive over to the park and we can go from there.

I step outside in the cool night air. It's the beginning of October. The start of fall. My favorite time of year. The leaves just started turning from monotonous green to vibrant shades of yellow and orange. This time of year always reminds me of my father. I walk down the dim street toward the park. I can hear him before I can see him.

"I can't believe I let you talk me into this." I just laugh in response.

"Come on old man. You can do this." I start off with a small jog. Vince seems to be able to keep up so I increase my speed. By the time we have gone about two miles I have to stop because Vince is hunched over with his hands on his knees trying to catch his breath.

"I thought I was in pretty good shape. I mean I push a lawn mower around all day but you are killing me!"

"Okay Slick. Calm down. We don't have to run back to the park. We can walk. But it's going to take us forever at your old man pace."

"Old man? I'm only about three years older than you."

"Not for long. I will be 18 in four short weeks."

"Really? What should we do for your birthday? Maybe have a party? We could do it at my house. What do you think?"

"That actually sounds like fun. But it will have to be the weekend before because I'm spending my birthday weekend with my Grandpa."

"This is going to be fun." He looks at me with a huge smile seeming very satisfied that I agreed so quickly. That's when I decide to burst his bubble just a little.

"You're going to have to include Amanda. She will want to help with the planning."

"Seriously?" He lets out a loud groan. It's not that he doesn't like Amanda, she just takes some getting used to. I mean I know how to tune her out when she starts rambling on and on about guys but poor Vince doesn't want to be rude so he sits and listens. In her eyes he is the best guy on the planet.

I just laugh at Vince as we walk the rest of the way to the park. We talk about his brother, work, school, pretty much everything we usually talk about. Then I remember that he wanted to tell me something about his dad.

"Hey, what was that thing you wanted to share about your dad?" He looks at me with confusion. "You know, about a week ago when you dropped me off. You said you wanted to talk about your dad."

"Oh. Right. I just remembered something he told me once when I was acting like an idiot. I had gotten suspended from school for fighting and he had to take time off work to pick me up. He was so disappointed in my behavior. I think he was trying anything and everything to get me to straighten up. He told me that I was better than the person I was pretending to be. That I needed to snap out of it because I wasn't being true to myself. It just made me think of you. Of your situation. When you were sick and I didn't see you for three days it's almost like you were a different person when you reemerged. I saw the light go out of your eyes for a few days and it scared the hell out of me. All your confidence seemed like it had been sucked out of you. I don't know what happened during that time, I'm just glad you're back. I can see the spark in your eyes again. I don't ever want you to lose that. To lose the fierceness that makes you who you are."

How do I even respond to everything he just said to me? We walk in silence the rest of the way. I don't know what to say to him. He really sees me. He doesn't see the girl I'm pretending to be most of the time. He sees me. The real me. And it scares me to death. I want to open up to him but how? How do you tell someone that your mother flips out, most of the time for no reason at all, and beats you senseless? How do you trust someone with that kind of information? Once we reach his car I know I have to say something, give him some kind of response.

"Vincent. Thank you for seeing me. Thank you for recognizing the person that I want to be. I can't tell you what stole the light from my eyes. Not yet." He stops me before I say anything else. We are standing next to his car side by side. He leans his body into mine taking my hand in his.

"Magnolia, take your time. I'm not going anywhere." We stay like that for a long time. Just standing next to one another and just breathing.

Chapter Sixteen

The next three weeks fly by. Patricia finally got over her depression and has been up moving around. She got back to her online dating profile trying to find a new boyfriend which has taken most of her focus. Vince and I have been studying like crazy. He helps me with math and I help him study for his GED. I know he is going to pass with flying colors but he isn't so sure. So we spend as much time as possible prepping for the big day. Amanda has my party all planned out finally listening to me when I told her I didn't want a big crowd. I gave her the list of people she could invite and told her she better listen or she wouldn't be allowed to come over to Vince's anymore. That got her attention. She also wants to bring her boyfriend. I guess I should get to know the guy since this is the longest relationship Amanda has ever been in. It will also be the first time she meets Tommy. He works such long hours at the factory so he is never around when Amanda hangs out. I hope they get along.

I was able to take Friday and Saturday off from work so we could have the party Friday night and not worry about having to go to work the next day. I planted the seed about a week ago with my mother so she would have no reason to say no to my request. I told her that we have a huge project due for school so I needed to spend the weekend at Amanda's house. She didn't seem to care. She has been so focused on meeting a new guy she hasn't noticed much else.

It's Friday morning and I have everything I need for the weekend. I grab my small duffle bag and head out the door with the biggest smile on my face. When Amanda sees me she smiles right back.

"I can't wait until tonight! I'm so glad you made nice with Vincent Moreno! This is going to be so cool. Having a party with no parents! I can't wait!"

"I think you might be more excited than me. Well, maybe not. This is going to be awesome! Vince is so great agreeing to have a bunch of people in his house he doesn't even know."

"Tell me about it. So why aren't you two together again? I mean I get your reasons, I just think they are lame. You should give it a try. What do you have to lose?" I don't say anything. All I can think is that I have everything to lose. I don't want to lose Vince as a friend. He has become such an important part of my life. But I also get the feeling we can't go on like this forever. The physical tension that builds between us when we get too close is making it harder and harder to think clearly around him. We have this amazing chemistry that I keep fighting. Trying to hold back a part of myself. Too afraid to lose myself to him. I shake it off trying to remain focused on school.

"Since you seem to be ignoring me I will see you at lunch." I didn't even realize we made it to school already. I got so caught up in my thoughts about Vince.

"Hey, sorry. I just got distracted. See you later."

By the time lunch rolls around I can't seem to find Amanda. We always meet right outside the cafeteria. I wait for a few minutes then decide to go looking for her. I check the bathroom down the hall. That's when I hear someone crying in one of the stalls. I look under the door and see Amanda's backpack sitting on the ground.

"Amanda? What happened?"

"That jerk broke up with me because I wouldn't sleep with him!" She says through her tears. I knew I didn't like that guy. What a bastard.

"I'm so sorry. Let me in so we can talk." Amanda slowly opens the stall door allowing me to squeeze into the small space. After spending the entire lunch period bashing the loser, she finally starts to feel better. She heads to class while I stop at the vending machine to at least grab some chips. I feel really bad for her. But I'm also super proud. She knows her worth now. She didn't give it up to that guy. It's a huge step in the right direction.

Vince is parked in his usual spot waiting for all of us. Some of my friends were a little apprehensive about going to his house for the party but I reassured them that he isn't the thug everyone thinks and to give him a chance. Amanda still seems upset but I'm hoping the party cheers her up. She makes me ride in the back seat with her which is fine since we have to drop Joey off first. He is so bummed that he isn't allowed to come to the party but Vince said his mother would kill them both so that ended the conversation. Once we make it to Vince's house I'm shocked by what I see. He went all out for my party. There are balloons on the mailbox, pink and purple streamers covering his porch and a huge happy birthday sign on the front door. I turn to him with a look of total surprise on my face. I can tell he is nervous about my reaction. So I run over to him and give him a great big hug.

"I can't believe you did all of this. Thank you so much! I love it!" He squeezes me tightly holding on until Amanda interrupts.

"Just wait until you see the inside!" Amanda yells as she opens the front door. I walk into the house becoming totally bewildered. There are balloons everywhere in every color you could imagine. They are taped to the ceiling, tied to the chairs and cover the entire floor. I don't know how we are going to dance in this madness and I don't care. It's awesome! Tommy is standing in the kitchen with the biggest smile on his face.

"So I guess now that you are legal you can give my guy a chance." He gives me a wink while laughing at his own joke. Dork.

"Technically my birthday isn't for another week. So I guess he will just have to wait." Vince is standing right beside me when I say this so when he leans over to whisper in my ear I know I'm the only one who can hear him.

"I would wait forever for you." A chill just ran all the way up my spine. Those few simple words have me reeling with the possibilities of us. He makes me feel so alive, like any future is possible. Maybe I should give into what I really want. Maybe I should take the chance that this could be something more.

We introduce our two best friends. They say a quick hello then Amanda grabs my hand dragging me down the hall to the bathroom to get ready. She picked out a dress for me from her closet. It's not something I would normally wear. It's a tiny black thing that's skin tight. At least it comes down to my knees so I don't have to worry about bending over and showing my underwear. I don't know what she was thinking when she picked it out. It also has a low cut front which makes my boobs look incredible. I guess it's not that bad. She does my hair and make-up for me then hands me a pair of heels.

"You have got to be kidding. I don't wear heels."

"Come on. It's just for a little while. Once everyone sees the complete look you can take them off. Please just wear them?"

"Fine. But they are coming off the first chance I get." I stay in the bathroom chatting with Amanda while she gets ready.

"By the way, you didn't mention how unbelievably hot Tommy is. I mean he is gorgeous. How could you forget to tell me that?"

"Sorry I didn't inform you that Vince's best friend and roommate was a hottie. What was I thinking?" I roll my eyes deciding that's my queue to leave. I really don't need to hear all the dirty thoughts she is probably already having about Tommy. After I close the door behind me I see Vince stepping out of his bedroom. He looks amazing. He has on a soft blue button down shirt with his best blue jeans. The color looks amazing next to his dark skin. When he looks up he stops in his tracks. His eyes sweep over my body like he wants to devour it. My heart rate picks up just as my breathing slowly turns into panting. I can't seem to control the reaction he is causing.

"You look unbelievable." He takes a couple of steps toward me getting extremely close without touching a single part of me. I can feel the heat from his body and all I want is for him to close the small distance between us. "Magnolia, you are so beautiful." He looks into my eyes like he is asking permission to come closer. Just as I'm about to say yes Amanda opens the bathroom door.

"How do I look?" She is oblivious to the moment she just interrupted. I hear Vince huff out of frustration as I turn to look at Amanda.

"You look great! Let's get this party started!" We head down the hall together. Tommy and Vince went all out. There are bowls and bowls of every kind of chip you can think of. They have four different types of dip. I see a pile of Oreo's on the table which makes me smile. He really does know what I like. The fridge is filled with beer. I don't usually drink but Amanda begged me to unwind with her tonight. Of course she used the "I just got dumped card" so I couldn't say no.

The doorbell rings and the party begins. Mark and Claire from German class walk in followed by Suzy. Amanda invited a couple of my teammates but that's all. I'm so glad she listened to me. I didn't want Vince's house to be torn apart by unruly teenagers looking to party hard. Everyone seems to have a great time. We dance, laugh, drink and snack on the food. When Vince isn't by my side he is hanging out by Mark and Tommy. I had a feeling they would get along. Even Suzy has loosened up a little. It feels good to combine my school life with my life with Vince. It's like I'm showing him another side of myself. Another part of my world that he doesn't get to see.

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