Succubi Are Forever (28 page)

“Bring them back?”

“Bring them back to the Host. To the light. So many are lost in darkness. They cannot continue as they are, not without losing all that they have been. They are my brothers. I do not want them to be damned eternally—not when there is still a chance for them to return.”

“I can lead them,” I said. “At least, I can try. It might take a while to bring anyone back from the dark side.”

“They are immortals,” he said, and I could have sworn I saw a hint of pleasure in his cold eyes. “You have time. This is what you want?”

“It is,” I told him. “I want them back—the vampires, the succubi, everyone who was destroyed. I’ll handle any repercussions.”

He grasped my wrist and turned it toward him. As I watched, the word written on my skin flared and burned bright, then disappeared.

Gabriel leaned in, cupped my chin, and kissed me.

My brain exploded. Lights swam through my head, and my thoughts became… a swirling cacophony of minds, a spider web of thoughts. A morass of blood, need, darkness, wings, and pain. Loss. I felt a hundred tethers hooking into my mind, felt a hundred souls suddenly tied to my own. My head felt like it weighed a thousand pounds.

The weight of it made me stagger.

“Good luck, little anchor,” Gabriel said in a kind voice.

When I opened my eyes, the Archangel was gone.

I was alone.

I was the anchor. I’d… won?

I sat for a minute, trying to compose my wild thoughts, but they were too crowded, too turbulent. Zane, I thought, but I couldn’t make him out from the chatter in my mind. Surely Gabriel wouldn’t have tethered the vampires to me and not returned the one I truly wanted?

Surely…?

I closed my eyes and searched through my mind, but it was like looking for a needle in a haystack of thoughts, thoughts that I was too untutored to sift through.

My phone rang and I blinked back to the present. While I’d been sitting in the field, the sun had set behind the horizon and night had arrived, the skies purple with twilight. Nearby, a cow chewed grass and looked at me placidly.

I took a wobbling step forward. How long had I been standing there? I didn’t even remember standing. My phone rang again, and I pulled it out of my coat, hissing at the graze of my hand over the holy water. The stakes, the crosses, the rosaries strapped to my waist… they made my head feel… wrong, even though they weren’t hurting me. It was my connection to the vampires. I dropped the weapons belt where I stood and stepped out of it. As I flipped open my phone, I caught sight of my reflection. My eyes were glowing red.

Well… holy crap. That one was going to be hard to explain. I picked up the phone.

“Jacks! Are you there?”

“I’m here,” I said weakly. “Come and get me.”

“You’re alive?”

“I am,” I said. “We did it.”

“Once you’ve hit that pinnacle, it’s time to reevaluate your goals. Fame isn’t everything. An endless supply of sex isn’t everything. The money doesn’t seem so great over time (though don’t get me wrong, it’s pretty great to get paid for having sex). After a while, it becomes just a lot of meat dangling in your face and too many expectations.”—
Sometimes
It’s Not Just About the Fucking,
by Remy Summore

~*~

We caught a red-eye flight back to New City, Wyoming and then drove out of the city. We headed to a destination that I’d only been to once before, but it was engrained in my mind. No one had to tell me where to go to find the vampires. I knew. I knew it deep within my core, and as if to prove me right, the closer we got to that destination, the louder the voices in my head became.

By the time we made it back to Wyoming, the low murmur of confusing thoughts had become a muted roar, and it took everything I had to sit still and be patient.

I was almost with Zane again. Only distance separated us this time.

“Jackie, honey, I’m not sure this is wise,” Remy said for the hundredth time. Her gaze kept flicking to my newly-red eyes. “I worry about you.”

“I’ll be fine,” I told her and forced a light smile to my face. And it was true. Once I saw Zane again, I’d be great. My fingers itched to touch him. To see his beautiful wings, feel his body against mine.

I could deal with a little bit of crazy in my head if it brought him back to me.

Remy pulled up to a long, circular driveway, the grounds achingly familiar. To my right, a stately pale mansion loomed before us. I knew that high, gabled roof. I knew those artful white columns that dotted the oversized porch. I knew the dozens of windows and even more than that, I knew what that enormous house contained.

She put the car in park and then turned to me. “You sure you don’t want us to go in with you?”

“I’m sure,” I said and then reached out and squeezed her hand. “This is where I belong now. You and Ethan need to have your life. Turn in that book. Go on tour.”

She frowned at me. “Are you ditching us? Is this good-bye?”

“It’s not,” I told her, and that was the truth. “It means we meet for cocktails and girl talk instead of being roomies.”

She beamed at me. “Now
that
sounds like a good idea to me. You sure they’re going to want you in this house?”

“I’m sure,” I said and knew it with every fiber of my being. It was mine now.

I got out of the car. To my surprise, Remy and Ethan got out as well, and Remy grabbed me in a hug, patting my back. Ethan wrapped his arms around both of us.

Tears pricked my eyes. Through thick and thin, they’d been at my side. I didn’t deserve friends as good as these two. “You guys are amazing. You know that, right?”

Remy was weeping, too. “I love you, Jacks. I know the last while has been hard on you, but you never once gave up. I hope you find everything you want in that house.”

I hugged her again. “I’ll call you. I promise.”

“You’d better,” she said, wagging a finger at me, her eyes wet. Then she turned and smiled up at Ethan. “Come on, babycakes. Let’s go see our kitty cat. I bet Angelbait misses us.”

“Of course, my divine flower of beauty.”

“If you’re good, I’ll even let you massage my feet before you start transcribing my memoirs into the computer,” she said as they shut the doors to the rental car. As it pulled down the driveway, Remy turned and waved back to me, then made a “call me” motion with her thumb and pinky.

I repeated the motion, indicating that I would definitely call her. I waited until they drove away, then turned to the house. I stood outside of it, staring at the front door. I hesitated a moment longer, almost terrified of what I’d find inside. What if it… wasn’t what I’d wanted? What if Gabriel was playing a cruel joke on me and I’d find the house abandoned, the thoughts in my head only the lingering aspects of the vampires?

What if I was crazy and this was just a psychotic break and Zane wasn’t coming back? I wanted it so badly I didn’t even trust myself anymore.

I put my hand on the doorknob, took a deep breath, and stepped inside.

I was in the foyer. It was clean and spare as I remembered it. A small end table near the door was covered in a wealth of dust, and my throat knotted at the sight. I looked around as I walked in.
Everything
was covered in dust, cobwebs dotting the fixtures overhead. It was as silent and unlived-in as a mausoleum. My heart tripped painfully in my chest.

Had the Archangel made a mistake?

My pulse began to pound at the thought, anxiety clenching my jaw tight.
Please don’t be a mistake.
The murmurs in my head continued, as wild and loud as ever.
Don’t be a mistake,
I repeated, and the voices in my head seemed to respond to my panic, muting and turning soothing. Encouraging me.

The sunken staircase lay ahead. I put a trembling hand on the railing and walked forward, down the steps. Once upon a time, I’d descended these steps and they’d led to a ballroom filled with excited women and handsome, dangerous vampires. I closed my eyes and took a step down, hand clenched on the railing. I was almost afraid to look. After a few slow, careful steps, I squeezed one eye open, scarcely daring to breathe.

Afraid of what I’d find.

Someone was standing at the foot of the stairs. I looked into the red eyes of a vampire I didn’t recognize, dressed in a tuxedo, the back of the jacket modified to let his wings hang freely. His gaze met mine, and as I took another wobbling step forward, he knelt in deference, bowing his head.

My queen,
he said, and I heard it in my mind.

Hope. A wonderful burst of hope bloomed in my chest, and I nearly wept with exquisite, sweet emotion. A vampire. They were not all gone.

I took another step forward, and then more vampires came into sight, emerging from the shadows of the room. Dozens of them. All men. Beautiful, gorgeous men with red eyes and dark wings. And I could feel each of them in my mind, a shining thread of thought that would drive me crazy if I listened in. And I felt hope and joy at the sight of each face.

As one, they went to one knee and bowed in deference.
My queen
.

A hint of a smile before bowing.
My queen.

Stiff anger and resentment.
My queen
.

The cacophony of thoughts threatened to overwhelm, and I forced my mind to absorb them—all their emotions overlapping. Hate, anger, distrust, amusement, and even affection whirled in my brain as they continued to approach and bow. Their salutes echoed in my mind as I stepped forward, wobbling. They were back. All of them were back, their minds linked to my own. There was Caleb, with the wicked tattoo around his eye. I felt his thoughts in my mind.

Well well, lovely. You are unexpected
.

When my gaze focused on him, he bowed, a smile edging his hard mouth.
Welcome, but unexpected… my queen.

I turned, staring at the men in the room, clutching my worn leather duster to my body. Where was he? Where was the one I wanted more than anyone else?

Where was Zane?

Princess.

A pure bolt of thought soared through the jumble of my mind.
Yes! I’m here,
I replied, a sob catching in my throat. I pushed my fist to my mouth, biting down on my knuckle to keep from breaking down into tears.
I’m here.

My thoughts crashed through the others. I saw a few flinch away and I quieted my own mind, seeking that one soft word. Had it been my imagination? I needed to see. Needed to touch. Needed to know.

Princess,
came the thought again, stronger. I pushed past two of the vampires who were straightening, their darker, mixed thoughts cluttering my mind. They weren’t sure what to make of a new queen. They’d never served anyone but Nitocris, but angels had been created to serve, and—

I put my hands to my forehead, unable to shut out the thoughts that began to crowd me. I wanted them to leave me alone. I wanted them out of my head.

But I had asked for this. Had known the consequences. I dropped my hands and dug my fingers into my palms, determined to ignore the rumbling in my mind. I willed my gaze to focus. I stepped forward in the room, and suddenly the vampires were parting before me, stepping back to clear the room, as if realizing that I needed space.

One man stood alone at the far end of the floor in front of the vacant throne.

I started forward, then stumbled at the sight of him, a sob breaking in my throat. “Zane.”

For months, I’d dreamed of seeing him again. Wanted to hold him in my arms so badly that my soul had ached. He moved forward as if in a dream, his steps slow and sure. He wore a duster identical to my own, one of his favorite black T-shirts on his chest. His wings swept the floor behind him, glorious in their inky depths. His eyes were bright red, his hair rakish over his brow. And he was smiling, a hint of fang gleaming.

I rushed forward, pushing into his arms. “Zane!”

“Princess,” he said, and I heard it echoed in my mind.

If this was a dream, I never wanted to wake up ever again. My gaze caressed him. He looked whole, uninjured. His wings were beautiful and sleek, unlike the trashed feather that I still carried in my pocket. My hands trembled, went to his cheeks. I felt the barest hint of unshaven scruff on his jaw. My fingers brushed his lips, warm and soft.

Tears spilled down my face. “You’re real. You’re here.”

“I’m here, Princess,” he said softly, grinning at me. “Or should I call you ‘my queen’?” He took my hand, pressed a kiss to the palm, and then as I stared, he knelt before me and bowed his head. “I am yours to command.”

He was here. His hand was warm in mine. He was back.

I burst into tears and tugged at his hand, pulling him back to standing. “Zane. You were dead. You were all dead.”

“But you fixed it. Somehow. I don’t know what you did.” His hands pressed to my chin, and then he was cupping my jaw and his eyes looked into mine. “Your eyes—”

“Who cares about my eyes?” I said with delight. I didn’t give a crap if they fell out and rolled across the floor. I had Zane back. “Just kiss me!”

His arm wrapped around me. A thumb went to my chin and he tilted my head, then pulled me in for a kiss. It was long, exquisite, and slow. His tongue swept into my mouth, and he tasted like Zane, warm and sweet and just a hint of his favorite cigarettes. I twined my arms around his neck, deepening the kiss, even when his fangs scratched at my tongue and drew blood.

I felt his mental hesitation, felt him pull back at the decadent taste of my blood. He wanted to drink me, so much, but he didn’t want to put me to sleep, not yet—

When the kiss broke, I sobbed again, kissing him frantically one last time.

Why so sad?
Zane asked.

To my surprise, his thoughts were a strong bolt of light in my mind, drowning out all the others like a comforting blanket. The echo of his emotion was so strong in my head that it muffled the noise of the others, made it bearable. His arms went around me and I curled up against his chest, pressing my cheek there.

So long,
I wept, the knot in my throat preventing me from speaking.
It’s been so long.