Suck It Up (28 page)

45

Yeah, Right—When the Pigeons…

When they stopped in the middle of the walkway, they looked down the East River toward the expanse of water sparkling in the late-day sun. The lady of the harbor, with her torch, rose up like the figurehead of America's vast ship.

Morning held up a hand. “You have to wave to her.”

Portia gave him an amused glance. “Is this another one of your rituals?”

“Absolutely. Can't you see her thought bubble? ‘Welcome home.'”

She waved at Ms. Liberty, then looked down at the river. “While we're doing rituals, do you see any paper boats coming down from Poughkeepsie?”

He smiled. “Tons of 'em.”

“Me too,” she said, playing along. “But I'm not sure what's written on 'em.”

“That's the cool part. They're blank.”

“How can that be?”

He looked up and watched her hair ruffling in the wind. “Because they're all the messages we haven't written yet. You know, a fleet of notes, e-mails, text messages.”

She held back a smile. “You mean to anyone?”

“No.” He eye-rolled. “To each other.”

She let her smile out. “I guess that means you still like me.”

He shrugged. “Hey, how can you not like a girl who revives you with her own blood, then saves you by staking the badass vampire in the end?”

She sagged in mock dejection. “And I thought you liked me for who I am.”

He laughed and found her eyes.

She broke away from his gaze. Ever since they had walked out of the Mother Forest, they'd been ignoring the elephant that had walked out with them. It had loomed over every word and gesture during their burger and Blood Lite at Jackson Hole. It was time to look their pachyderm in the paradox. She took a breath and began. “Okay, I figure we have two choices.”

He feigned ignorance. “About what?”

She whacked him on the arm. “About us, ninny.”

“Oh, right,” he said nonchalantly, trying to belie the twisting sensation in his stomach.

She plunged on. “First of all, we've known each other for less than two weeks.”

“Yeah, it's been kinda fast.”

“And taking it fast ended up with you trying to drink me like a six-ounce Coke.”

He gave her a sheepish look. “Are you gonna hold that against me forever?”

“No, as long as you leave it in your try-everything-once folder. What I'm saying is that maybe we should try taking it slow.”

He nodded happily, seeing the light at the end of this claustrophobic tunnel. “Sounds good to me.” Then he remembered that she had mentioned two choices. His curiosity got the better of his instinct to drop the subject. “What's our other choice?”

Portia raised an eyebrow. “We decide right here and now that we're star-crossed lovers, declare this Star-Crossed Lover's Leap, and jump.”

He chuckled with relief. She was back to her wisecracking self. “I have two problems with that. One, I'd survive, and two”—he looked over the rail—“you keep forgetting it's a long jump from here.” She glanced at the two lanes of traffic between them and the far edge of the bridge. “We'd be more like tire-crossed lovers.”

She laughed. “Morning made a funny. Maybe you still have a little of my blood hanging out in your funny bone.”

“I hope not. If I still had a pint or two of you in me, I'd probably wanna tap into a burger like the one you just ate and get some real blood.”

She turned to him. “There's only one way to find out.”

He swallowed. “Find out what?”

“What you really want.”

He took in her inviting eyes. The twister inside him wound tighter. “I thought we were going to go slow.”

“We can't go
too
slow.”

He stalled in confusion. “What do you mean?”

She faced the big bad elephant head-on. “In a couple of years, you're going to look like a kid to me.”

He pulled away and watched the water roll under the bridge.

She turned and did the same.

Rivers could be slowed down, even stopped. Time couldn't.

He turned back to her. “And a few years after that, you'll look like somebody's mother.”

“So what do we do?”

“I've been thinking about it,” he said.

Her eyes brightened. “You have?”

“Yeah. Maybe we'll have a year or two before it falls apart. Until then, I think we should just suck it up and enjoy it. Enjoy us.”

“But how?”

He pushed closer, lowered his eyelids on the world, and pressed into the twin pillows of her lips. She darted her tongue in search of fangs. Nothing. Just the sweet exploration of a first kiss. That is, a first kiss without
dentis eruptus,
or the envy that provoked it.

They pulled away, still wrapped in the danger and delirium.

“How did it feel?” she asked.

He couldn't stop grinning. “I feel like I'm the one who's been bitten. And it's giving me a fever.”

Her eyes danced. “And the fever's mutating you into another form.”

“Right. I'm shape-shifting. But what's the form?”

She didn't need to dive into his eyes and swim with his thoughts to find the answer. “Superhero.”

Her prescience startled him. “Right. How did you know that?”

She gave a little shrug. “'Cause that's how I feel too. Maybe that's what love does. It makes you feel like you can leap tall buildings in a single bound. Makes you feel like anything is possible.”

He gazed at her for a long time, trying to memorize every detail of her face. He leaned in for another kiss. But a flurry of motion caught his eye. He glanced over her shoulder. At first, it didn't compute. Then he realized what it was. “Look,” he breathed, turning Portia around.

The sight shocked her. The tower on the Delancey Street side of the bridge was quivering. Like it was made of bubbling gray iron. Then she recognized what swarmed over the bridge.

Birds.

Not just any birds.

Pigeons.

Glossary

BLOOD CHILD: A human that a vampire transforms into another vampire.

BLOOD LITE: An artificial blood substitute derived from soybeans. The most popular drink of squeamish or vegan vampires.

BLOODLUST: A vampire's darkest desire, driven by thirst and envy, to drink human blood. Slang: sink 'n' drink, drill 'n' swill, trap 'n' sap, chomp 'n' chug.

CELL DIFFERENTIATION (CD): Also known, by non-Leaguer vampires and Lifers, as shape-shifting.

DENTIS ERUPTUS:
The swelling of teeth into fangs. Once known as
dentis erectus,
but changed to
dentis eruptus
to prevent arousing the interest of those who see sex in everything.

EPIDEX: The underarmor developed by Leaguer scientists so this story can eventually be made into a movie rated PG-13.

FORBIDDEN WELL: The human reservoir of blood, five quarts per adult human.

INTERNATIONAL VAMPIRE LEAGUE (IVL): A secret organization of vampires hoping to come out and be recognized as just another minority with special needs.

IVLEAGUE.US: The website of the IVL.

KNIGHT OF THE FIRE TABLE: A firefighter in touch with the deepest traditions of firefighting.

LEAGUER: A vampire who has conquered the craving for human blood and lives on a diet of animal or artificial blood substitutes. A graduate of the Leaguer Academy.

LIFER: A mortal, or age-challenged, human being.

LONER: A vampire who practices the old ways, and insists that being a bloodsucking fiend is part of his or her ethnic heritage.

MALTESE CROSS: The emblem of firefighters throughout the world.

MOTHER FOREST: The cradle and graveyard of the vampire race. The scattered forests of bristlecone pines in the western United States.

OLD ONES: The ancient race that evolved into vampires.

PASSING THE DEUCE: The double-fanged bite of a vampire that, via blood exchange, turns his or her victim into a vampire.

SANGFU: A blood f___-up. A vampire who was created by accident. An unwanted vampire.

SANGV: A blood virgin. A vampire who has never drunk human blood.

SELVA OBSCURA
: In Italian, dark wood. (First used in Dante's
Divine Comedy.
) The netherworld of bloodlust and old ways a Loner vampire must escape from to become a Leaguer.

SEVENTH FORM: The seventh of eight vampire Forms, also called the Leaguer Form. The first Six Forms are: Drifter, Hider, Swimmer, Climber, Runner, Flyer. The Eighth Form is a vampire's return, upon death, to the seed of a bristlecone pine.

SHADOW-CONSCIOUS: The minimal human consciousness a vampire retains while taking one of the Six Forms.

SOLAR PHOBIA: A vampire's irrational fear of sunlight.

SOLAR PHOBIA FIXER (SPF): The only “sunscreen” a vampire ever needs.

THRALL: A vampire's power to physically control another sentient being. The effects vary from partial paralysis to catatonia. Banned by Leaguers for being unnecessarily manipulative and antisocial behavior.

TURNING: The act of changing a mortal into a vampire.

WATCHMEN:
The classic graphic novel by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons, which has a far darker ending than this story.

WORLDWIDE OUT DAY: The day all Leaguers plan to make themselves known to the mortal public. Presently slated for October 1.

ZERO: The odds of anything going exactly as planned. For example, Worldwide Out Day.

Acknowledgments

First, a big thanks to all politically correct producers in children's television who, over the years, have saved me from ignorantly offending minorities I was unaware of. Without their righteous guidance, I never would have realized that a tolerant, multi-cultural society should also include our bloodsucking brothers and sisters.

No tale about shape-shifters would be complete without doing some story-shifting. To my youthful readers, Ryan Brandt, Kevin DuBrow, and Kendall Meehl, thank you for sinking your eyes into early versions and sharing your wonderful ideas. I owe a monstrous debt of gratitude to my cohort and taskmaster Gerri Brioso, who understands that friendship includes telling me what sucks and what doesn't, and refusing to let me write female characters she doesn't like.

The novel's final transformation would have been a very different species if it weren't for the amazing story-shaping skills of my editors at Delacorte Press—Michelle Poploff, Joe Cooper, and Amalia Ellison—and my agent, Sara Crowe. Each hovered over the story and wielded their magic wands brilliantly. I have the bruises to prove it. I wouldn't have it any other way.

About the Author

B
RIAN
M
EEHL
is enjoying his third “shape-shift.” After a career of wiggling puppets on
Sesame Street
and in Jim Henson films, he became an Emmy Award–winning writer for children's shows such as
Between the Lions
and
Magic School Bus.
He has now convinced himself that he is the author of two YA novels. When he recovers from this delusion, he will start thinking about his next incarnation.

In the meantime, he lives in Connecticut with his family of three females on a farm full of furry animals, and is working on a third novel. So he thinks.

Published by Delacorte Press an imprint of Random House Children's Books a division of Random House, Inc. New York

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Copyright © 2008 by Brian Meehl

All rights reserved.

Delacorte Press and colophon are registered trademarks of Random House, Inc.

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Meehl, Brian.
Suck it up / Brian Meehl.—1st ed.
p.                           cm.
Summary: After graduating from the International Vampire League, a scrawny, teenaged vampire named Morning is given the chance to fulfill his childhood dream of becoming a superhero when he embarks on a League mission to become the first vampire to reveal his identity to humans and to demonstrate how peacefully-evolved, blood-substitute-drinking vampires can use their powers to help humanity.
[1. Vampires—Fiction. 2. Heroes—Fiction. 3. Identity—Fiction.] I. Title.
PZ7.M512817Su 2008
[Fic]—dc22
2007027995

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eISBN: 978-0-375-84894-0

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