Suddenly in Love (Lake Haven#1) (22 page)

Twenty-one

Jesse loved Mia’s dress. He kept grinning, eyeing her up and down, practically salivating. “It’s beautiful,” he said. “Did you make it?”

“Yes.” It was sky blue with a fuchsia underskirt. It was simple but prim with a sweet Peter Pan collar and cap sleeves. She’d made the dress from satin and double gauze, and it flowed around her. When she walked, hints of fuchsia flashed around the hem. It was a tea-length dress, because Mia assumed that was the length one wore to a fancy wedding. She wouldn’t know. She’d never been to a fancy wedding.

She’d even put her hair up in a chignon and stuck some crystal pins in it, borrowed some heels from Emily, and donned a necklace with a heart charm that dangled at her throat, a gift from her grandmother when she turned sixteen. She was trying to be what she thought Jesse wanted her to be.

But she hated it. Loathed it.

This was something Emily would wear, but not Mia Lassiter, and Mia felt like a fraud. An empty ghost of the woman she’d been just a week ago. The woman who had naively believed a summer person.

“Are you ready?” Jesse asked eagerly. He was dressed in a dark-blue suit. His tie was a little crooked, and his shoes had rubber soles, but he looked quite handsome. Any woman would be thrilled to be his date. But Mia was numb to him. She was numb to everything. She was so heartbroken, so disillusioned, that it took everything she had to muster a smile.

“I’m ready,” she said. She left her phone on the counter in the same
spot it had been sitting for hours now. The calls and texts from Brennan kept piling up. She wanted to talk to him. She wanted to give him a piece
of her mind. She was furious with him. She was
stunned
by him. Mia still
couldn’t wrap her mind around it—she’d been sleeping with a famous rock star and hadn’t had a fucking clue. But
he’d
known it, and he’d allowed her
to be so completely clueless. Honestly, Mia didn’t know what to make
of
it. Why would he do it? She thought—hoped—that she meant some
thing to him. She thought she was at least someone who deserved to know that truth. Frankly, Mia was afraid to talk to him, afraid of the things that
would come tumbling out of her mouth that she couldn’t take back. But at the moment, she feared she would only burst into tears when she heard
his voice, and she was not going to give him that.

Jesse didn’t seem to notice that Mia was in another world on the way to the wedding. He chatted as if everything were fine, as if the world hadn’t just imploded under Mia’s feet.

They arrived at the church just in time to be seated. The wedding was okay, Mia supposed, but she didn’t know the couple and couldn’t connect with the vows they were making. She felt like she was watching the ceremony from afar. As if it were on television. There were bows on the pews of the church, sprays of flowers at the altar. The bridesmaids—an astounding eight of them—wore long satin dresses with wraps that made Mia inwardly cringe. It was a perfectly lovely wedding all in all, but so . . . ordinary. So lacking in artistry.

Or was that her bitterness talking?

At the wedding reception, Jesse was more animated than usual, helped along by a few glasses of champagne. He was jovial as he introduced her to a group of his friends.

“Mia Lassiter,” said his friend Kevin. “Hey . . . you’re that girl from high school,” he said.

Mia swallowed down a lump of trepidation and forced a smile.

“Kevin Bowman, remember me?” he said. He was round, with a receding hairline. Mia had to look very closely to see anything familiar. “Oh yeah, Kevin,” she said. Her palms were turning damp. Had he been on the beach that night?

“You look
great
,” he said, his gaze sliding down her body.

“Thank you.” She wondered if he was remembering the word
freak
painted across her body.

“So get this,” Jesse said, leaning in, his arm going around Mia. “You know who bought the Ross house, right?”

Kevin shook his head.

“Everett Alden from Tuesday’s End.”

Mia was stunned. She looked at Jesse. How long had he known?

But Jesse had an audience and didn’t notice her. “Dude, can you believe it? I’ve been working up there and I didn’t know who he was. I mean, he looked familiar, but I couldn’t place him, you know?”

Skylar
. Of course Skylar had told him. She’d probably run up and down Main Street, from coffee shop to bistro, telling everyone she knew that Everett Alden was at Ross house.

“Man, that is
awesome
.” Kevin said. “You should get an autograph or something. That band is
hot
. I love that song “Soldier Black.”

Jesse grinned down at Mia. “Did
you
know?”

She was certain she heard a twinge of accusation in his voice, as if he believed she’d been holding out on him. “No,” she said. “I had no idea. I generally listen to classical music, so I’m not really up on the popular bands.”

“Yeah, I’m a country guy myself. I bet he’s here for that damn music festival,” Jesse said. “There was a lot of talk in the beginning about drawing a big headliner.”

“They got that new band, Whittaker,” Kevin said. “But Everett Alden would be bigger. So what’s he like?”

Jesse looked at Mia.

“Oh, ah . . . well.” She furrowed her brow.
He’s sexy. He listens to me. He understands what I mean when I talk about art. He’s a liar. He’s a user. He used me.
She shrugged. “He’s arrogant.”

“He doesn’t seem so arrogant to me,” Jesse said. “Seems really down with things.”

Mia was surprised by that—she had the very distinct impression that Jesse didn’t like Brennan.

“You know who was here last summer?” Kevin asked. “That actress. You know the one . . .”

Jesse and Kevin began to chat about the celebrities who had appeared around East Beach while Mia privately stewed. She was angry with Skylar for telling everyone. Angry with Brennan—or Everett, whoever the hell he was—for lying to her. She had to see his eyes, his face when she confronted him about the lies. She wanted to see that moment of shock just before she punched him hard in the jaw.

The dancing started and Jesse grabbed her hand and pulled her onto the dance floor, shaking his head when she tried to protest. “It’s a wedding for Chrissakes. Of
course
you have to dance.”

They didn’t really dance, just sort of swayed from side to side. Jesse wrapped his arms around her and kissed her. Mia smiled self-consciously. She felt nothing. Not a single spark. Not a shiver, not a swell. Nothing. She thought of the way Brennan kissed her, and how she felt like an inferno the moment his lips touched hers.

In fact, all she could think about as she danced with Jesse was the way Brennan touched her, and how he moved with her, and the sounds of pleasure he made in bed with her. The memory made her shiver, and when she did, Jesse pulled her closer.

It was awful to be with one man and think of another. It was the worst sort of purgatory.

After the dance, Mia met more of Jesse’s friends and acquaintances, including the bride and groom. They had more champagne, and Mia began to feel warm and fluid. She was attracted to the paper birds hanging from the ceiling of the ballroom, amused by them.

One of the bridesmaids commented on Mia’s dress. “It’s really pretty. Where’d you get it?”

“I made it,” Mia said.

“You’re kidding! You
made
that? I always wished I could sew,” the girl said. “It’s really beautiful.”

“Thank you,” Mia said.

When the bridesmaid wandered away, Jesse grinned at her. He bent his head, his mouth next to her ear. “See?”

“See what?”

“Normal. It wins every time.” He winked.

Horrified, Mia stared back at him.

“What? I’m just saying, you look so hot and sexy tonight.”

“Because I look normal?” she asked evenly.

Jesse’s smile faded. “I’m just talking about tonight, Mia.”

There it was, her problem with Jesse. He was a great guy, a handsome guy. Everyone loved Jesse! But Jesse didn’t get her. He didn’t understand her at all. He was attracted to her, yes. But he wanted her to fit into the mold of the woman that inhabited his head, and Mia knew, unequivocally, that if she dated him, this idea of
normal
would become a bigger and bigger issue between them.

“I have to go to the bathroom,” she said, and thrust her empty champagne flute into his hand.

“Don’t be mad,” Jesse said, then muttered something under his breath.

Mia walked away in her tea-length dress and her Peter Pan collar. She had every intention of going into the ladies room and splashing water on her face to sober up, but she happened to see the wedding planner and veered in her direction.

“Excuse me, do you have scissors I could borrow? There is a tag in my dress that is driving me nuts.”

“I think I do,” the woman said, and squatted down by a large tote box and rummaged around. She stood up, holding a small pair of scissors. “Just put them in here when you’re done.”

“Thanks!” Mia went into the bathroom. In the handicap stall, she removed her dress. She hung it on the purse hook and stood, swaying a little, clicking the scissors open and shut. “You’re crazy, Mia,” she muttered, then leaned down and cut the dress off above the knee. Next, she cut out the demure little collar and gave it a more daring décolletage. And with the fabric she’d removed, she wove a belt. When she donned the dress, it came to mid thigh, and she’d cut the neck so low that the top of her lacy black bra was visible.

When she emerged from the stall, two bridesmaids reapplying lipstick eyed her in the mirror’s reflection, then exchanged a look.

Mia smiled at them and walked out of the bathroom in her new dress, returning the scissors to the tote bucket before going in search of Jesse.

He was where she’d left him, laughing it up with Kevin and, now, another man. His friends looked at Mia with some interest, their gazes taking her in. But Jesse’s face fell as she walked toward him. “What the hell?” he asked, clearly appalled. “What the hell did you do, Mia?”

“I didn’t like the dress,” she said.

“But . . . but what did you
do
?” he said angrily. “You went in the bathroom and cut it off? That’s crazy!”

“Is it crazy?” she asked curiously. “I think it’s artistic.”

“It’s not
artistic
,” he said, sounding furious. “It’s weird. Come on, it’s time to go.”

“The happy couple hasn’t left yet.”

His angry gaze burned through her. “Let’s go.” He put his hand on her elbow and wheeled her around, marching her through the crowd like a disobedient child. “Great. Fantastic. You’ve made your point.”

“Are you sure? Because I do this kind of thing. I wear funky clothes. I
make
funky clothes. I paint things, I cut up tin cans and make hats from them. And for me, that’s normal.”

“Okay.” He stopped walking. He held up both hands as if he was surrendering and said, “Okay, I
get
it.” He was so angry, and he looked so wounded, and now, in the hazy glow of champagne, Mia regretted it. She felt like a jerk.

“Can we just go now?” he asked.

“Yes,” she murmured.

Jesse escorted her to his truck and helped her in before taking the driver’s seat. They drove in silence. Jesse stared straight ahead, his jaw clenched. Mia was shivering now that she’d gotten rid of most of her dress.

He turned at Eckland’s and gave the truck some gas down the road to her apartment. He parked—but left the truck running, Mia noticed. She sighed. She turned to face him in the cab. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I’m really sorry, Jesse. I was a little drunk, and I shouldn’t have done that. You don’t deserve that.”

“Nope,” he curtly agreed, his gaze on the path the truck lights illuminated.

“Please don’t be mad,” she said again, and she meant it. “Think of the stories you can tell your friends. Your crazy date to a wedding.”

He suddenly sighed and looked out his window, shaking his head. “It’s a joke to you, but it’s not to me.”

“It’s not a joke, but I . . .”
I’m different. I’m a freak!
“Jesse, you’re a really nice guy and you deserve a girl who looks like all those bridesmaids. But I—”

He suddenly grabbed her hand and squeezed it. “You don’t have to explain. I like you, Mia, you know that I do. But I’m not blind. I know you’re not into me. You’re into the rock star, and I may not like it, but you don’t have to apologize for that. You don’t have to cut off your dress to make a point.”

Mia blinked. She was set to deny it, to proclaim once more that Brennan Yates was an asshole, that she wasn’t into guys like him, that she’d known from the beginning it was a summer infatuation. She wanted to say all those things, but the words stuck in her throat. They congealed into a hard lump that she could neither swallow nor spit out, because what Jesse said was true.
That
was the thing that had been stabbing at her all day. It wasn’t just that Brennan had been less than honest with her. It was that she cared, and a whole lot more than she wanted to admit to herself.

Mia glanced down at her chopped dress. “You’re right,” she said, giving in. “I do like him. But you want to know what the sad thing is? It’s such a dead-end street. Nothing will ever come of it. I know that, but I . . . I can’t stop the feelings I have for him.”

“The heart wants what it wants, I guess,” Jesse said coolly. “I’m going to bow out. I won’t ask you out. And I won’t say the word normal.” He smiled a little.

She did, too. “Oh, Jesse, I’m so—”

“God, don’t apologize,” he said, withdrawing his hand from hers. “It’s bad enough that I am losing out to a rock god, but don’t make me feel completely pathetic by apologizing.” He cupped her face with his hand. “It’s okay, Mia. It is. I’m not kidding—the heart wants what it wants, and you should never feel bad about it. Thanks for going to the wedding with me. I had a good time.”

“You did?”