Authors: Buffy Andrews
Tags: #Literature & Fiction, #Women's Fiction, #Contemporary Women, #Romance, #Contemporary, #Contemporary Fiction
Chapter 10
Sue
I knew I shouldn’t have downed the entire bottle of wine. I spent part of the night hugging the toilet and I had a killer headache. Thank God I didn’t have to pick up Chloe until noon so I could stay in bed.
I wish last night was a bad dream, that when I woke up everything I thought had happened was just my imagination and fear working overtime. But once I got my bearings, I knew that it wasn’t. And I got angry all over again. Angry that Rachel was so damn beautiful. Angry that I was angry that Rachel looked so damn beautiful when I knew in my heart she was as cheap as those nipple covers with tassels she wore. Angry that Rachel had a key to Tom’s place. Angry that Tom gave Rachel a key to his place. Angry. Angry. Angry. At the whole world. But mostly at myself for allowing even a smidgen of hope that I could find a man to spend the rest of my life with, one who wouldn’t always be looking over my shoulder for something better, who accepted me for who I was and didn’t try to make me into something I wasn’t.
What is it about men? Are there no good ones left? I think Gina found the last good guy. Or, correction, she realized she had a great guy, one she was willing to change her whole life for. A guy has never loved me that much
—ever!
Maybe there are those of us who aren’t meant to have great guys. Maybe it’s God’s way of controlling the population or something. Hell, I don’t know. All I know is that my heart still feels as broken as it did last night and for some reason, what happened with Tom bothers me more than I wish it did. I don’t like what that tells me because I realize I loved him even more than I admitted to myself. And I don’t want to love him. Not now. Not ever.
***
Tom
The locksmith came first thing in the morning. I had him change the locks and add deadbolts. I definitely didn’t want a repeat of last night.
I sipped my coffee and tried to read the morning paper. I wanted to call Gina and check to see if she had talked to Sue, but I knew it was too early to call. Besides, Gina had said she’d call me. I was lousy as hell at being patient. I wanted to go over to Sue’s and try to explain everything face to face.
I ran my fingers through my hair. Christ, I was tired. I tossed and turned the night before. Damn, I can’t believe I ever loved Rachel, that I had actually asked her to marry me. Was I that desperate? To be fair, it wasn’t until the breakup that Rachel started acting so whacked out. Before, she was just a spoiled little brat who got everything she wanted. That’s what I got tired of. Her sense of entitlement and me-first attitude. But I had no idea she had this nasty side to her, a side that was hell-bent on revenge and making my life miserable.
I thought after she started seeing the surgeon, whom I had heard about from an acquaintance, that things would get better. She got the rich guy she wanted
, and because he was older and established, she would be well cared for. She had no worries. I’m sure he spoiled Rachel just like her father had spoiled her.
I still
got the occasional drunken call in the middle of the night, but she never, until yesterday, showed up at my house damn near naked.
I needed to get out of the house. I couldn’t sit around any longer.
I reached down to pet Klondike. “Want to go to the park, boy?”
He barked and went to the door. Sometimes I think Klondike understands me better than anyone.
I grabbed my keys off the counter and my cellphone, just in case Gina called while we were out.
***
Sue
I was about ready to jump in the shower when Chloe called.
“Hey, Mom. Mind if I spend another night at Robin’s house?”
“Is it
okay with her mom?”
“Yeah. She said she’d drop us off at the mall later. So can I?”
I sat back down on the bed. “I don’t know. I’ve barely seen you this week.”
“Please, Mom. Please. Please. Please.”
I had to admit, being able to crawl back into bed was tempting. “Okay. What time do you want me to pick you up?”
“Mrs. Matthews said she
’d drop me off on their way to church, unless I wanted to go with them, which I don’t.”
“O
kay, then I’ll see you tomorrow. Behave.”
“Thanks, Mom. I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
No sooner had I crawled back under the covers when Gina called.
“How’s my bestie this morning?” said Gina in a sickening sing-song voice.
“You’re too happy. Stop it.”
“Okay. How’s this then?” In her best Eeyore voice, Gina said, “Good morning.”
“That’s too gloomy.”
“I can’t win with you. Too happy. Too gloomy. Ugh. So are you still pissed off?”
“Yes. Maybe even a little more than I was last night.”
“How can that be?” Gina asked. “Time is supposed to make you less pissed, not more.”
“I know. I know. But I kept thinking about the key and Rachel having the key and why Rachel had the key.”
“So she had the key,” Gina said.
“Well, don’t you think it’s odd she had the key? Like why didn’t Tom get the key back?”
“Maybe he forgot she had it.”
“Or maybe he wanted her to have it?”
“Why?”
“Maybe he was le
aving the door open a crack,” I said. “You know, figuratively speaking.”
“That doesn’t make sense,” Gina said. “Look
, Sues, you know I love you. That I’d do anything for you. But I really think you’re mad at the wrong person. Be mad at Rachel. Hell, be furious with her. But not at Tom. I really don’t think you’re giving him a fair shake. You won’t even listen to his explanation?”
“How do you know that?”
“Because I know he called you and you didn’t return his call,” Gina explained.
“Did he call you?” I asked.
“Of course he called me. I’m your best friend. He’s worried about you.”
“Well, you can tell him not to worry. I’m a big girl and I’ll be just fine.”
“Are you going to talk to him? Answer the phone if he calls?”
“Gina, I know Tom is your friend. But I’m your best friend. And right now I’m hurting. You’re probably right. What Rachel did wasn’t his fault. But it happened and it’s made me think twice about our relationship. Do I really want to take the chance and love again? When I saw Rachel, all I could think about was when I found Steve screwing little Miss Pierced Nipples. And I don’t want to go through that heartache again. Ever.”
“What did you tell me about Mike?” Gina asked. “About second chances. Starting over. You should take your own advice.”
“It was different between you and Mike. You two were torn apart by a horrible, horrible incident that no one knew about. You never stopped loving one another. I was just falling in love with Tom. Stopping it now means I won’t get hurt.”
“But sometimes, Sues, you have to take chances. Do you want to live the rest of your life alone?”
“I have Chloe.”
“Yes, you have Chloe. Now. But one day she’ll go off on her own and you’ll be by yourself. And that’s fine if that’s what you want. But I, better than anyone, know how lonely that can be.”
“But I have you.”
“Sure, and you’ll always have me. But that’s not the same as having a man that loves you and that you love. All I’m saying is think about it. Think about it before you close that door for good. I don’t want you to get hurt, but I don’t want you to miss out on growing old with a man who’s loved you for a long time. So, if he calls, think about answering the phone.”
“I’ll think about it. Maybe you’re right. Maybe I should at least listen to him. But even if I do, I’m not promising anything.”
“Good, that’s all I’m asking. Just listen to what Tom has to say. If you still feel the way you feel now, well, okay then.”
“How’d you get so smart
, anyway? I asked.
Gina laughed. “It was reading all those damn Snapple caps!”
***
Tom
Klondike and I passed the wooden picnic pavilion when my cellphone rang.
“Hi
, Gina. How’s Sue?”
I could tell by the somber tone of Gina’s voice that things hadn’t gone the way I had hoped. I walked to a nearby bench and sat down.
“I think she’s just going to need a little time,” Gina said. “We talked a lot and I think I got through to her, but she was so hurt by Steve, and seeing Rachel just took her back to that time.”
“Christ, Gina. That was more than a decade ago.”
“I know. But you should know better than anyone how something that happens in the past can stay with you a long time.”
I knew what Gina was referring to. She was talking about the night she was raped by our math teacher and how she kept it a secret for twenty years. It destroyed her relationship with Mike. It’s also what led her to become an attorney that prosecutes sex crimes.
“But she has to know I would never hurt her. God, I love her,” I said.
“I know that. But here’s the thing, Tom. She’s hung up on the key. Why Rachel had the key, why you hadn’t gotten the key back from Rachel. Her mind is working overtime and she can’t stop focusing on the key.”
“Well, she won’t have to worry about that anymore because the locks have been changed. Plus I had the locksmith add deadbolts. To be honest, Gina, I had forgotten all about Rachel having the key. But I’m also angry at Sue for thinking so little of me. I’m hurt that she isn’t giving me the chance to explain. I thought she valued our relationship more than that.”
Gina sighed. “She’ll come around. Finding Rachel dressed like a whore in your home made her doubt things. I’m not saying she was right to have the doubts, but I can understand, given her past, why.”
I got up from the park bench and started walking Klondike again. “So what am I supposed to do?”
“Give her time.”
“How much time?”
“I don’t know. Maybe a day or two. I gave her a lot to think about, so my guess is that she
’ll eventually give you a chance to explain.”
“This is
n’t how I thought I’d be spending my weekend,” I told her.
“Well, if it makes you feel any better, I know that it’s not what Sue had planned
, either. But, and I know that I’m going to sound like Suzy Sunshine, I really do believe that if things are meant to be, they will be. Mike and I are proof of that. It might have taken 20 years, but we’re finally together.”
“Christ, I hope I don’t have to wait 20 years for Sue to come around.”
“Me, too.”
I hung up the phone and Klondike and I headed for the car. What I really wanted to do
was go over to Sue’s house and insist that she listened to me. I was willing to take the chance that she’d slam the door in my face. I could handle that. What I couldn’t handle was losing her without a fight. I hated feeling like she was slipping through my fingers and I was powerless to do anything about it.
I wanted to tell her that she was the best thing that’s ever happened to me and that I didn’t plan on giving up on us.
Chapter 11
Sue
I jumped in the shower after I got off the phone with Gina. As much as I hated to admit it, she made some good points. If I really stopped and thought about it rationally, Tom inviting Rachel over knowing that I’d be waiting for him didn’t make any sense, unless he was a mean-spirited son of a bitch, and I knew in my heart that he wasn’t.
Truth was, it was probably just damn coincidence that Rachel was there when I showed up. She probably didn’t even know Tom was out of town. How could she? She probably checked the house, discovered he wasn’t home
, and set her plan in motion. Maybe she expected just him to come home. Or maybe she thought we’d come home to find her. My guess is that she never imagined I’d be coming to Tom’s alone. I’m sure she felt like she won the door prize when I showed up with Klondike.
I no sooner had gotten dressed when Mom called.
“Suzy, it’s Mom.”
Mom still calls me Suzy and when she calls she always identifies herself. Kind of cracks me up. Like I don’t know from her voice who’s calling. “Hi, Mom.”
“You didn’t call me yesterday,” Mom said.
I sat down on the edge of my bed. “Was I supposed to?”
“No, but you usually do. But you didn’t so I was worried. Everything okay, Suzie Q?”
“Yes, Mom, everything’s
okay.”
“Still seeing that nice boy? What’s his name? Tim?”
“Tom, Mom. His name’s Tom.”
“Tim, Tom, it’s the same except one letter. Maybe I should just call him T. That way it won’t matter if I can’t remember if it’s an ‘i’ or an ‘o.’”
I loved the way Mom thought. Sometimes her perspective of life made me laugh out loud.
“Anyway,” Mom said. “I wanted to check to see if you were coming for Sunday dinner. Your sister is coming and she’s bringing her new boyfriend. I thought maybe John and T
…”
“Her boyfriend’s name is Jack, Mom. Not John.”
“Whatever,” she said. “Jack is a nickname for John, don’t you know? Like people called John Kennedy Jack.” She paused as if she was figuring out an easy way to remember Jack’s name. “I thought it might be nice for J and T to meet,” she finally said.
“I don’t know, Mom.”
“What do you mean, you don’t know? You like this Tim, right?”
“Tom
, Mom, it’s Tom. And yes, I like him. But we sort of kind of had a fight.”
“Oh for the love of God, girl. About what?”
I told Mom the vanilla version of finding Rachel at Tom’s, which means I didn’t go into details about Rachel’s nipple covers with tassels.
“Sounds to me like that girl needs a good talkin’ to,” Mom said. “But I don’t get why you’re mad at T. What did he do?”
“It’s more like what he didn’t do,” I explained. “Like he never got the key back.”
“Good Lord, girl,” Mom said. “You’re the Queen of Forgetfulness. What about the time you kept forgetting to put lunch money in Chloe’s school account and the poor girl couldn’t get lunch
?”
“Did you have to bring that up, Mom, and make me feel like Lousy Mother of the Year all over again?”
“All I’m saying is that people forget things. Important things. Like putting lunch money in their daughter’s account so the poor thing can eat and doesn’t have to starve. So, what about dinner?”
“Chloe and I will be there. But I’m not sure about Tom. I thought maybe I
’d talk to him tonight, try to clear things up.”
“I know you rarely listen to me, Suzy, but I think that’s a good idea. I didn’t raise you to let some little floozy get the best of you. You should have sucker punched her.”
“Mom!”
I finally got off the phone with Mom after listening to her tell me about the time she sucker punched a “floozy” at a school dance and gave her a bloody nose.
I figured I would grab something to eat then go over to Tom’s. I had thought about calling, but I wanted to talk face to face.
***
Tom
I took Klondike home and decided to grab a bite before I headed over to Sue’s. There wasn’t a lot to eat in the house. Because I was out of town, I hadn’t gone to the store. But I did find some eggs and fried up a few.
I was eating my last bite when Mike called. “How’s it going?
“Been better.”
“Yeah, that Rachel’s a real piece of work.”
“Tell me about it. I really thought that when she started seeing that surgeon she’d leave me alone.”
“Yeah,” Mike said. “I remember the time she sent you the box of dead roses.”
“And what about the time I found that nasty note on the windshield of my car and the air left out of my tires?”
“I’d forgotten about the flat tires,” Mike said. “Well, you know what they say about a woman scorned.”
“Yeah. I just hope she’s had enough now. I threatened that if she comes near me again, she’ll be hearing from my attorney.”
“And I just happen to know a very good one,” Mike said.
I laughed. “Me, too.”
“So what are you going to do about Sue?” Mike asked.
“I was planning to head over to her place in a bit. Try to talk to her face to face. Get this whole mess straightened out.”
“Good luck, buddy. I hope it works out. I know that Gina does, too.”
“How’s things going between you and Gina?”
“Good. We talked to Jack about moving into Gina’s house and he’s good with that, as long as his room is as far away from the baby as he can get.”
I laughed.
“He’s had enough of listening to his baby sister cry in the middle of the night at his mom’s. That was really his only request. Well, besides the request that the baby be a boy.”
“Do you care if it’s a boy or a girl?” I asked.
“Are you kidding me? Absolutely not. I just can’t believe that Gina and I are actually having a child together. I mean, this is like a dream come true. I’m still pinching myself just to make sure it’s all real.”
“I’m happy for you, man. You guys are proof that sometimes things do work out. It might take awhile, but eventually it does.”
“Go talk to Sue, Tom. And I hope things work out for you, too.”
***
Sue
I noticed my yearbook on the desk in the kitchen. I guess I never put it away after the reunion. I grabbed it. I figured I’d look at it while I ate.
I was paging through it when I came to the Senior Man of the Year pages. The yearbook staff had chosen eight guys and the senior class voted on the nominees. The winner was announced at the Winter Sports Pep Rally. The nominees were Mike and Keith, Jeremy and Eric, Brad, J.R., Tom, and Frank. And Tom had won. I had forgotten about this.
Tom looked so young. I guess we all did. Back then, who knew how our lives would unfold, where we’d end up. I could have guessed Tom would be a pharmacist, given his love of chemistry and science. And that Jeremy would follow in his dad’s footsteps and become a dentist. But I would never had imagined that Gina would end up being a prosecutor or that Karen, who got pregnant in high school, would end up falling in love with another woman and having her child. I guess that’s the thing about life. Sometimes it takes you down unexpected roads.
I closed my yearbook and grabbed my keys.
***
Tom
I jumped in my car and realized I wasn’t going to get too far unless I got gas. So, I stopped at the gas station next to the Interstate on-ramp. It was faster taking the highway and getting off at the Queen Street exit to get to Sue’s than snaking through town.
I was heading south on the Interstate feeling life. I kept rehearsing what I was going to say to Sue. How I was going to handle the conversation. I needed to make her see how much I cared for her.
By the time I got there, I felt prepared. I felt good. But then I knocked on the door and she didn’t answer. I thought maybe she knew it was me and wasn’t answering the door on purpose, so I peeked in her garage windows to see if her car was there. No car. Shit! I guess she’s not at home.
***
Sue
I kept ringing and ringing Tom’s doorbell. His Ford was in the garage but I noticed his ’58 MG wasn’t. Still, it could be in the garage. He had said something about getting new tires on it. So I got out my cell and called.
He answered on the first ring. “Sue. Please. Don’t hang up.”
“Uh. I was the one who called you, so why would I hang up?”
“Guess you’re right,” he said. “Look, I want to talk.”
“Me, too.”
“Where are you?” he asked.
“At your house.”
“That’s funny because I’m at your house.”
I told him to stay at my house and that I’d come to him.
“Are you sure?” he asked.
“Yes. I’ll be right there. You can let yourself in. There’s a key under the flower pot on the back porch.”
I got back into the car and headed home.
***
Tom
I found the key right where Sue said it would be. I let myself in and noticed that our high school yearbook was sitting on the kitchen table. It was open to the Senior Man of the Year pages. God, I had forgotten about that contest and the fact that I somehow managed to win.
I do remember the night, though, when the girls had to dress like boys and the guys had to dress like girls and we paraded around the homecoming bonfire. I paged through the yearbook looking for those pages and found them. I laughed out loud.
Mike wore one of his grandma’s floral dresses. He had stuffed a pillow in his gut and tons of tissues in a bra he borrowed from Gina. I could still hear our conversation in the locker room getting ready for the event.
“How do I look?” Mike had asked, parading around, throwing his hips from one side to the other.
“It’s a good thing you’re not a girl,” Jeremy teased. “‘Cause you make one ugly chick.”
Everyone laughed at each other. I bought a dress and shoes at the Goodwill store to wear. I can still remember how much my feet hurt wearing those high heels. They mashed my toes together. I never could understand how a woman could wear those things. They seemed so uncomfortable.
I got lost looking at the yearbook and found myself smiling more than I’d smiled in a long time.