Sue (18 page)

Sue regarded him with a twinkle in
her eye. “Explain.”

“I enjoy being around you but I’m
not comfortable with you.”

“Why’s that?” His answer hadn’t
really surprised her. She knew she’d been difficult at times.

“I’d rather not get into it, at
least not now.”

“That’s mysterious.”

He gave her a slight smile. “That’s
me. Man of mystery.”

“Hmm.
Well, I’m not sure about all that, but I’ll let it slide. Want to watch some
TV?”

“Sure.” Melvin leaned back,
settling in as Sue flipped through the channels, finally settling on an action
movie. The rest of the night, they stayed away from weighty subjects. At
ten till twelve
, Melvin put on his coat and
left. Sue locked the door behind him.

Though she really didn’t expect
much to happen, she had trouble relaxing. She rushed through her bedtime
routine and put on warm pajamas and slippers. Even knowing Melvin was only a
few yards away, she felt alone. She slipped her arms into a fleece robe and
huddled on the sofa in the dark. The ring of her cell phone startled her. It
was probably Melvin and she wondered why he would compromise his position.

Grabbing her phone, she checked the
number.
Didn’t recognize it.
“Hello.”

A harsh whisper sounded in her ear.
“Want some company?”

Her first reaction was to throw the
phone away and she gave in to the impulse. It landed unharmed on the carpet.
She stared at it as if it might come to life and attack her. Then she came to
her senses and scrambled to the floor. Snatching the phone, she said, “Hello?
Are you still there?”

“I’m here, baby.”

Her heart fluttered in her chest.
“Who is this?”

“Did you like the letter?”

A chill passed over Sue. “What
letter?” She chewed on her lip, crept to the door, and peered out the curtain.
She couldn’t see Melvin, but she wouldn’t. He was wearing dark clothes, hiding.

“You’re so cute, playing hard to
get. We both know that’s an act, don’t we?”

There was something almost familiar
in his intonation. If he’d only speak louder, she might be able to place his
voice.

“What do you want?”

“I told you in the letter what I
want. And I think you want it, too.”

Clenching her teeth to keep them from
chattering, Sue tried to sound normal. “Well, do you want to meet somewhere or
something?” She was pleased to come up with this plan on the spur of the
moment.

“That’s more like it,” he purred.
“I’ll be right in.”

“What? You’re here?”

“I’m close.”

“Like how close?
In
the same town?”

“You might say I’m in the
neighborhood.”

Sue covered her mouth with her hand
and held back her panic. She listened to him breathe for a few seconds,
then
asked, “Can you see my house from where you are?”

He laughed softly. “Clear as can
be.”

“You’re outside now?”

“That’s right. I can be in there
with you in a...”

Sounds of a scuffle came through
speaker and the unmistakable sound of a phone being dropped. Then Sue could
hear another voice but couldn’t make out the words. Still she knew who it was.
Melvin!

Disconnecting, she tossed her phone
on the chair, ran to the door, and threw it open. Flipping on the porch light,
she stepped outside and looked around. Under her living room window, just
outside the circle of light, she could make out two dark figures. “Melvin, is
that you?”

There was a thud followed by a
couple of grunts, then the sound of Melvin’s breathless voice. “Call the
police, Sue.”

She dashed inside, dialed 911, and
reported that a friend of hers had caught an intruder and needed help. After
giving her address, she dug her flashlight out of a drawer and flew back
outside. Revealed in the flashlight beam was a man in dark clothes and ski mask
leaning with both hands against the side of the house. Standing behind him,
brandishing a gun, was Melvin. “We got him! That’s him! I heard him call you.
Then I watched him go up to the window and try to see inside.”

The prowler groaned and reached for
his head.

“Hey!” Melvin pushed him roughly in
the middle of his back. “Keep those hands on the wall, freak. Don’t make me
shoot you.”

The man pressed his hands against
the wall again. He seemed to weave a little.

“What’s wrong with him?”

“Probably has a headache. I might
have hit him a little too hard. But he’ll survive.”

Sirens sounded and grew closer.

“Have a heart, buddy,” the man
spoke. “Let me go and I promise to leave her alone. We don’t need to get the
cops involved here. It was an honest mistake; I just misread
her
signals, that’s
all.
Could happen to anybody.”

Sue froze. “Martin?” She shone the
light near the eyeholes in the mask,
then
turned her
gaze to Melvin. “I think that’s Martin!
The head bartender
from the country club.”

Two police cruisers raced down the
street. One skidded into the driveway while the other slid to a stop at an
angle in the street.

“Ah,
son-of-a-bitch.”
Martin hung his head between his outstretched arms. “I
swear
,
I have the worst fucking luck in the world.”

The police took Martin into custody
and questioned everyone involved. They finally drove away. Sue was too shaken
to relax, but Melvin sank into the sofa and leaned his head back. He and Sue
had been over the event several times by then and he was fading fast. It was
nearing
two a.m.
when Sue grew tired
of waiting and called the police station. She asked to speak to someone about
her case and was transferred to Detective Sanders.

“It’s Sue Cox. I’m surprised
you’re there at this hour!”

“Goes along
with the job.
I was going to wait a few hours to call you.”

“So you’ve talked to Martin? What
did you find out?”

“Well, after a bit of dancing
around, he finally admitted to the letter and the valentine. He denied the
flowers or mailing you the poem. He also denied ever being inside your
apartment.”

“Do you believe him?” Sue held her
breath and gazed at Melvin who had dozed off on the sofa.

“Not really,
although we didn’t pick up his prints in your house.”
She paused before
adding, “He also confessed to keying Melvin’s car, something that was never
reported to the police.”

Sue jostled Melvin’s shoulder and
he opened his eyes. Holding the phone away from her mouth, she asked, “Did you
know your car had been keyed?”

He shook his head. Grabbing his
coat, he hurried outside to check.

Sue put the phone to her mouth
again.
“So what now?”

“We charge him. He gets a lawyer,
appears before the judge, and gets released. A hearing date will be set. He’ll
probably get probation; he has no priors. If he bothers you again, call us and
he’ll go back to jail. At any rate, it looks like your stalker is out of
business.”

“God, I hope so.”

Sue hung up as Melvin
returned. “How bad is it?” she asked.

“It runs along the back
fender.
Just a skinny line, not that bad.”

“I’m sorry it happened.”

“Not your fault, Sue. Don’t
worry about it.”

Sue regarded Melvin for a moment.
His eyes were drooping again.

“Lie down,” she said.

He stretched out on the sofa and
she spread a blanket over him. She flipped off the light and tiptoed to her
room.

The excitement was over but her
emotions had been yanked in so many directions, she felt frazzled. It hadn’t
been Zeke after all. But her mind could not entirely accept this conclusion.
Who
left the flowers and sent the poem? Someone else was out there.
Maybe even watching the house right now.
Sue shuddered
and went into her bedroom. She got little sleep.

Chapter 26

Dr. Camden read several pages of
Sue’s journal, closed the book quietly, and laid it on the table next to her.
“I see you’re still having doubts as to your culpability in the events that
took place with Zeke. Tell me about the guilt you feel,” the doctor said.

“What makes you think I feel guilty
about anything?”

“I’m basing it on what I just read
and some things you’ve said so far today.”

Sue’s eyes flashed a challenge, but
inside she surrendered to the truth and grew defensive. “Look, I admit I did
some really bad stuff, but the guilt belongs to Zeke, not me. We’ve already
been over the remorse I have over breaking into Doris’s
house, and over the part I played in Brenda’s death. You’ve helped me
understand that I was only trying to stay alive at that point. ”

Dr. Camden gazed at her calmly,
waiting.

“And yes, I feel a lot of shame
over the sexual situations Zeke got me into, if that’s what you’re talking
about. But I think I’ve come to terms with a lot of that.”
Not really.
“So what guilt?”

“You tell me.”

Sue’s resistance crumbled. “Okay,
okay. You’re right, damn it. Along with everything else, I still feel so much
guilt.
For a number of reasons.
Here’s one little
thing I never told you. It’s about the case against Zeke. You know, I can see
his face in my mind, so clearly. But when I tried to describe it to the police
artist, I couldn’t get it right. Every adjustment he made to the sketch of Zeke
was wrong. Either the nose was too thin or it was too wide. His eyes...the look
of them just couldn’t be captured. Zeke’s eyes are electric and compelling,
almost hypnotic. And his smile is dazzling. Nothing the artist did came close
to the real thing. So the drawing they ended up with doesn’t even look like
Zeke. It won’t help them find him and I told them so.”

“Did you give it your best shot?”

“Of course!”
Sue’s face heated. “Do you think I’d deliberately mislead them?”

“I’m not suggesting that at all.
I’m just asking you to explore the question.”

Sue chewed the corner of her
fingernail, thinking. “It’s crazy to feel guilty about the sketch then, is that
what you’re saying?
Because I did try?”

The doctor said nothing, allowed
Sue to sort out the implications.

“That’s it then. I did everything I
could to help the police. So it’s not my fault if they haven’t caught him yet.”

“How could it be your fault?”

“It couldn’t.” Sue experienced a
few uncomfortable twinges as she pictured the growing file hidden in her
bedroom and the secrets she wrote in her second journal. She shifted the
subject slightly. “I sometimes hate myself for not hating him more.”

“
Do
you hate him?”

“I despise him. He’s a sadistic
psycho. He messed my life up so badly.” Her chest rose and fell with her angst.
“But he didn’t do it alone. I helped him. I went along. Some of the things he
told me, even in the beginning, I should have recognized as lies. I just wanted
so much for them to be true. I let myself believe and I let myself be led. How
pathetic is that? How pathetic am I?”

“So you blame yourself for what
happened?”

“Yes.” Sue exhaled, filled with
sudden relief. “That’s it exactly. I am angry at myself for the part I played
in my own destruction. I am the...the instrument of my own misery, in a way.”
She looked at the doctor with puzzlement in her eyes. “Which is worse, Doctor?
Being stupid or being pathetic?”

“You are neither, Sue.” Dr. Camden
gave her a gentle smile. “You’re a very bright young woman who made the wrong
choice. Everyone makes mistakes, even the most brilliant minds on earth. Do you
think you are going to be the only human being in history to have a lapse in
judgment?
The only person to feel vulnerable?
The one
and only person who isn’t allowed to screw up? We’ve covered this concept
pretty extensively already. Let’s take a closer look at this; something else is
at work here, Sue.”

Surprise registered on her face.
“Really?
What’s that?”

“The self-loathing is serving a
purpose today, although it’s not readily apparent. It’s protecting you from
something you perceive as worse by comparison.” The doctor shifted in her
chair, set the notes aside. “Originally we had planned on discussing those
childhood incidents we touched on last time. Remember?”

“Oh, yeah.”
Sue sighed deeply. “I forgot about that.”

“You didn’t forget.”

Sue’s mind seemed to clear at that
remark. Sometimes she resented Dr. Camden and her unusually accurate insights.
Still, she admitted nothing.

The doctor continued, “Guilt, or
even shame, can throw up quite a roadblock. I know some of our sessions are painful,
Sue. But that’s part of the process; weeding out those old memories, looking at
them under the light of your adult perspective, and coming to new
understandings and acceptance. But it can wait a little longer.” She stood,
indicating an end to the session. “I think you’re making fine progress. Keep
writing in your journal and I’ll see you next week, at which time
we will
follow our previous schedule and delve into the childhood memories Zeke pried
out of you.”

Sue stood, accepted her journal
from the doctor, and left the room. Melvin smiled at her from the waiting area
and rose to join her. As they walked to the parking lot, Sue wondered nervously
just how much Dr. Camden really knew about her inner mind. It was exhausting
sometimes, keeping track of what was acceptable to reveal and what was not. She
had to be so careful.

“I need caffeine,” she told Melvin
as they got into the car.
“Lots of it.”

“I could use a little boost, too.
We’ll stop somewhere on the way.”