Suffering & Salvation (5 page)

He looked up from his plate, smiled around a bite of food, then pushed away from the counter, reaching her before she could get to him. Whether this place was Brand’s or someone else’s, Simi was certain she was in over her head. This fancy, hoity-toity scene just wasn’t her. She’d be too afraid to touch anything. Malcolm had always yelled at her for being clumsy and uncoordinated. That she was so fucking stupid…

No.
She couldn’t keep thinking of him or his cruel words.
He’s dead.
She’d killed him. Gone forever. If only it were that easy.

“Morning.” Brand planted a kiss on her forehead while he held her in a tight hug. “Ready to eat? I’ve got Gemmie making tons of food.”

“Gemmie?” Simi rubbed her face against him, scenting him, warning others off.

Gemmie and she silently acknowledged one another, trading nods and awkward smiles as they did so. Cougar could sense that the woman was a mated wolf, so she didn’t need to worry about her—as much. The animal in Simi was on full alert, and it seemed as if Cougar’s protective instinct was getting the better of them.

“Mmm-hmm. I’m ready. Starved.” He touched the side of her face with the palm of his hand, and though she thoroughly enjoyed it, the hunger pains in her stomach were getting the better of her. Sniffing the air, the wonderful smells warming her, she wiggled away, adding, “’K. Food.” Her stomach grumbled and so did Cougar.

He sighed. “Okay, food it is. Then maybe we’ll go outside for a little while?”

Cougar perked up. “A run? Play? Hmm?” Though they’d only met, Brand seemed to have no trouble reading her.

“Yes, I believe Cougar would
love
to run and play, but I think the pond’s too cold to go in. Even for you,” Brand replied, moving the strands of hair out of her face, tucking them behind her ear.

Simi and Cougar didn’t have to be told twice. She pulled out a stool and sat in front of the counter. She smiled her thanks to the bustling woman who placed a plate full of food before her. Eggs and lots and lots of meat. All hers and so much of it.
Yum.
Another plate quickly joined the first, this one with buttered biscuits and toast. Perfect breakfast for a starving cat. A large glass of apple juice followed a short bit later, with a stern look from a female wolf narrowing her eyes and giving orders.

“Now, missy, you eat that. Every bit. There’s not enough meat on those bones, and Mr. Brand brought you in here half dead.” Gemmie shook her head at Simi and clicked her tongue. “Being his mate, you’re my responsibility now.” Gemmie sighed and glared at Brand. “She’s not gonna die from starvation. Not on my watch, you hear?”

“Aw, Gemmie, come on…” Brand shook his head as if he were trying to defend himself.

Simi relaxed a little, knowing she didn’t have to worry about this woman stealing her mate or her plate of food.

On instinct, she pushed her stool back and stood, staring at the female wolf. “You’re wrong.
Wrong.
He’s taking good care of me. Protected me. Saved me from—”

“Hey, hey, Cougar, Simi, she’s kidding. Just joking with me, okay?” He tugged on her hand, guiding her back to her seat.

Face pale, Gemmie came around the counter and wrapped her plump arms around Simi’s shoulders. “Oh, sweetie. Somebody did a number on you, huh? Don’t worry, Gemmie’ll take care of you. Just as I did for both of my wolves when their momma died. Now, I’ll just add a baby cougar to the mix. That’s all.”

Gemmie pulled back and stared into Simi’s eyes. Whatever the woman saw in them seemed to satisfy her, and she hurried back around, returning to her cooking as she hummed along to what was playing on the radio.

Brand nudged the plate toward her, then picked up his own fork and began digging in at the feast before him. Frowning, Simi picked up a piece of bacon and bit into it, savoring the salty flavor.

“What’s with the sad face, little one?” he mumbled around a mouthful of eggs.

She glared at him. “You keep pushing food at me.”

He snorted. “That’s because you’re too skinny, for one reason, and two, hungry as all get out.” She opened her mouth to protest, but he cut her off. “Don’t deny it, Simi. You know it’s true. You haven’t eaten a decent meal in I don’t know how long. And no, I don’t count what you ate yesterday as a proper meal.” He focused on her, really looking at her as if he were searching her soul. “I want you and Cougar to feel safe and cared for here, Simi. Happy. Right now, I know that Gemmie’s cooking will do that for you. That letting Cougar out to play, having her run wild and free, will make you even happier. The rest…well…can wait.” He harrumphed, continuing, “Really getting to know one another will come in good time, which we’ll have a lot of, if I have any say about it.”

She thought he was going to say something else. About the subject that weighed heavily on her heart and shoulders: her miserable past. Sighing in relief for the time being when he didn’t, Simi picked up her fork and used it to cut out a piece of ham, then shoved it into her mouth. Delicious didn’t even come close to rightfully describing how good the succulent piece of meat tasted.
Thanks, Gemmie.

Appetite aside, he was right. She was underweight, and besides, filling her belly always made Cougar
very
happy. Simi wondered why it was so hard for her to accept the help he offered. But, she would. It went against her grain, but she knew she needed it.

It would be nice for once…to feel full, safe and cared for…all at the same time. And the run outside wouldn’t be half bad either. It’d been years since Cougar last let her legs fly, eating up the ground with her powerful strides. Too bad it was so cold out, because she’d also fancy a swim. Then again, she could always splash around in the upstairs tub later. Not the same, but she could make it work.

Bite after bite left her plate and went into her mouth, filling her stomach more and more as time flitted by. The apple juice soon disappeared, only to be replaced with another, by the ever-efficient Gemmie.

Simi finished off all the meat first, then the eggs, before turning her attention on the biscuits. She glanced at Brand’s plate, noticing a slice of bacon just sitting there on the edge, calling out to her. Beckoning her…to…to eat it. Cougar wanted to snatch it from him. Simi thought better of it, and told her they should leave it be. But…but…the mouthwatering piece of bacon had Cougar’s name written all over it. Before she’d finished mulling it over, Brand was easing the sliver of meat toward her with his fork, inching it along until it touched the edge of her plate.

Smiling wide, Simi struck out with her hand, and before it could be reclaimed by her teasing man, she shoved it into her mouth, barely tasting the meat as it settled down into her soon-to-be gorged stomach.

She knew by her animal’s action that Cougar was coming out of her shell, but nevertheless, Simi blushed, her embarrassment bordering on shame. Simi stared down at her empty plate, and offered, “Sorry.”

Brand reached over, a finger beneath her chin forcing her to look up at him. “For what? For being hungry? For Cougar wanting something that I’m fortunate enough to provide for the both of you? Simi…all you have to do is ask and anything you want is yours. No need to inhale your food or protect yourself here. But you’ll learn that in time. Your past, your time on the streets were hard on you, I can see that. But you survived. That’s what matters now. You’re in good company here. I can’t say that enough. You have nothing to be afraid of.”

She nodded and blinked, and with her food all but gone, Simi chewed at the inside of her lip. “Okay. I’ll do better. I’ll be—”

“You’ll just be you, Simi. My beautiful cougar, my sweet mate. That’s all I’ll ever need.”

She curled her lips up into a hesitant smile, the nervous gesture spreading to the bobbing of her knee as she weighed his kind words. Sifting through Cougar’s thoughts on what those words meant to her partner in crime, Simi wanted to make sure they were both in agreement. Certain that they were, she replied, “Okay, Brand.”

“Good. You still hungry? Thirsty?”

Cougar whimpered, tail flicking, wanting to be set free to run and play.

“Play now?” Simi held up her hand, thumb and index finger about an inch apart, then, “Just a little while?”

He laughed, smile warming his handsome face, and ruffled her hair. “Absolutely, Coug, let’s go.”

Brand pushed away from the counter, picked up their plates, then carried them to the sink. Simi moved to follow, snagging a rag hanging nearby. Cougar was impatient, but Simi tried to reason with her. Just a little longer to cleanup, and they’d be dashing out the door in no time. She bumped into Brand, their fronts pressing together when he turned around.

He frowned, saying, “Outside’s thataway.” He pointed toward a door on the other side of the room.

“Great. But I’d like to help you with the dishes first.” She’d always done the chores. Malcolm had seen to that. She cursed herself for thinking about anything that had to do with him. And yet, she continued to do so.

Gemmie butted in, with impeccable timing in Cougar’s mind, and said, “No, no, sweetie.
I
handle taking care of y’all. You just go and have some fun, let Cougar stretch her legs.” The woman came toward her and leaned in close, mouth to Simi’s ear. “Pounce on him once or twice for me.” The woman pulled back and winked, and Simi would be lying if she were to say that Gemmie wasn’t growing on her. Almost as quickly as Brand had. And the fact that Gemmie seemed to care so much for her mate, like a mother’s love for her son, well, only made it that much easier for Simi to take her kindness at face value.

“Hey now. No turning my girl against me.” Brand’s face tightened, but it was easy to see that he was joking. Such an opposite to her ex. So refreshing. He snagged Simi’s hand and led her to the door, opening it for her as he’d done from the time that she’d been lucky enough to have met him. “Run free, Simi. Let Cougar have some fun for once. I’ve got, I mean,
we’ve
got, about thirty acres or so fenced in, with approximately another hundred outside.”

Shock stole over her as she walked out onto the screened-in back patio. “This?” She waved her hand at the colorless, but manicured lawn, the surrounding forest, and the large house that she’d just stepped out of, then added, “You’re telling me that this is all
yours?
”

He shook his head. “Ours. We’re mates, remember? We’ll get all the legalities sorted out this week. Need a little time for my lawyer to draw up the paperwork to add you to everything.”

“What? Why? So soon? I don’t understand why you—”

“Shh, little cat.” Brand sidled closer, nudging her with his hip. “Talk later, play now.”

Cougar didn’t have to be told twice. Simi dashed across the grass, tossing clothing aside as she ran, the cold lawn squishing beneath her feet, giving and flattening to the weight of every step she took. By the time the last of her clothing dropped from her fingertips, she was already in the middle of her shift, going down to all fours in moments, eating up the ground with her lengthy strides on the expansive yard.

Woo-hoo!
A yip behind her signaled Brand’s change, Wolfie following, but hanging back a bit to let her explore. Echoes of his paws pounding the earth along with hers made her realize that this was the happiest she’d been in a very long time. So much so that she never wanted to let the feeling go.

When a large space appeared in the concrete barrier, she sprinted toward it, wondering who had opened it for her.
Gemmie.

Soon, Simi and Cougar were in the forest, the scent of earth and live wood assaulting her senses, the smell of other animals wafting to her nose. She loved it. They both did. This was so soothing…so healing. She took it all in, reveling in everything that nature had to offer, all as she inhaled deep and let Cougar run wild and free. Squirrels scattered through trees and Cougar was hard-pressed not to give chase. The hunter inside was getting the better of her. But she held back for now, because she was having so much fun, just taking it all in as her animal ran like she was meant to.

She easily cleared a fallen log, stretching her legs, the wind burrowing beneath her coat and caressing her skin, cooling her with every step she took. Cougar ran and ran some more, freedom nipping at her paws, carefree and comfortable in her own fur for the first time in ages.

Still, Wolfie stayed back, quiet but for his soft pants and the ruffling of underbrush. She bound into a small clearing and hid, anxious to see her mate’s wolf when not under attack. It didn’t take long before he burst through, skidding to a stop and sitting on his haunches, tongue out and lolling.

Wolfie was as beautiful and as large as she’d remembered, and she preferred the calm, happy wolf to the fierce one she saw when fighting Bear. Cougar purred as she approached, rubbing her muzzle against his, then along his neck. Marking him as hers, coating him in her scent.

Wolfie did the same, familiarizing himself with her body and she allowed it, granting him the freedom to explore her to his heart’s content. He approached her rear and she flicked her tail to the side, watching as he eased his nose forward to sniff her delicate area.

Wolfie’s presence from behind made Cougar want him now. Right now. In their shifted form.

She chuffed and backed into him when he retreated. Wolfie retaliated with a nip to her haunch, but Cougar wouldn’t be denied. She presented again, showing him without words what she wanted to happen, what she needed from him. Cougar was more than ready, and definitely willing to mate with Wolfenstein.

Wolfie growled low and pawed her rear, batting at her.

She growled, and presented yet again. She. Would. Not. Be. Denied.

Wolfie whimpered as he advanced carefully, not unlike his counterpart, moving with slow steps until his nose was between her hind legs. She purred in response, letting him know she wanted to be claimed by him.

His misgivings must’ve been eased, because he was now on top of her, entering her, flexing his hips against Cougar’s body. His teeth clamped down on the skin of her neck, fangs and teeth piercing her flesh, mingling his saliva with her blood. Furiously bucking his hips, Wolfie suddenly froze, swelled inside her, then emptied his seed. The sting upon his entry turned throbbing pain was yet another bit of evidence of their mating. Moments ticked past, their bodies locked together by the magic of nature, until he softened, enabling him to pull free.