Summer at Tiffany's (40 page)

Cassie had pretended she hadn't noticed that she was the odd one out – the gooseberry – choosing instead to go off for a solitary walk on the outer headland, a large, grassy outcrop that became an island at high tide. And when she came across Amber and Luke kissing in a remote nook, she silently turned and pretended she hadn't noticed that either.

Her life seemed to have become a hologram of itself, she thought, as she and Arch bobbed in easy silence; it felt flat and spectral, everything in it that she'd always felt so certain of – her foreverness with Henry, her sisterly tie to Suzy, her contempt for Luke – now suddenly unpinned and unanchored, ready to drift away from her.

‘You'll have to be careful how you tell Henry you fell from the bridge. He's going to be wracked with guilt,' Archie mumbled, sounding half asleep. Cassie had visions of both of them drifting out to sea like toddlers on lilos and having to be rescued by the RNLI.

‘Why?' Cassie asked, lazily opening one eye like a dozing cat. ‘It's not like he pushed me.'

‘No, but he'll hold himself responsible for making you do it.'

It wasn't guilt Cassie knew he was going to feel; it was disappointment. ‘He didn't march me up there at gunpoint either.'

‘True.' There was a small pause. ‘Maybe I should march Suze up there with a gun and make her tell me what's going on with you two.'

Now both eyes were open. ‘What do you mean?'

‘Oh, not you too,' he groaned. ‘Don't deny it – spare me that. It's so obvious you've had a fight – even
I
can tell it, and we all know I've got the emotional intelligence of a jellyfish. Not to mention the muscle tone.'

Cassie laughed at the unexpected joke and he winked.

‘Come on, spill. I heard her crying in the bathroom earlier and she tried pretending it was the Epsom salts. And you and I both know my wife only ever cries when we're out of cava.'

‘Is this why you dragged me out here?' she moaned, as a particularly large swell rose beneath them like a sea monster rising from the depths. ‘You want to be our mediator.'

‘More of a hostage negotiator. I'm not letting you back on dry land till you meet my demands.'

She chuckled. ‘I see.' Cassie was quiet for a long moment. How did she tell Archie – not just Suzy's husband but Henry's best friend – about Amber and Gem and Suzy's baseless suspicions? He hadn't been at the festival – he hadn't seen how innocent it all was, but maybe he'd think there was no smoke without fire?

She decided to go for the catch-all explanation. ‘It's just everything getting on top of her, that's all – she's really worried about Hats—'

Archie shot her a stern look.

‘Fine,' Cassie sighed. ‘Gem and I had a little contretemps in the yurt yesterday morning and Suzy decided that, for the first time in her life, she was on her cousin's side. Her cousin whom she cannot bear and also is not now talking to, in case you hadn't noticed.'

‘Her side? What are we, eight?' he asked wryly.

‘If we have to be,' she riposted, knowing she sounded childish. ‘Aren't you going to ask me why she's not talking to Gem?'

‘OK. Why isn't she talking to Gem?'

‘I don't know. I was hoping you could tell me that.'

Archie groaned. ‘Well, I know she's livid about having to hide the puppy from Laird until Saturday. It's given her loads more work to do, as if she wasn't already busy enough with me, Velvet and her mother. Of course! Throw a puppy into the mix! Did you hear it crying last night?'

Cassie shook her head.

‘No. Me neither. But she did. Was up three times in the night, and then of course Velvet woke up early for once.' He groaned. ‘Oh Christ, I don't know. This is all way above my pay scale. No wonder men talk sport.'

They were quiet for a moment.

‘Tell me what you think of Laird,' she said. ‘You've spent more time with him than me or Suze.'

‘I think he's a decent bloke – obviously batty about Gem, down to earth, sporty, good with his hands. And Luke too. I'm really enjoying his company, I have to say. We've been spending a lot of time together. His job's so fascinating. Absolutely fascinating.'

Cassie felt sick at the words. When he found out who Luke really was – or rather, had been – and surely he inevitably would, he'd feel utterly traitorous for having be friended Henry's nemesis. She knew she ought to tell him, that now was the time, but the words wouldn't come. She still didn't want to consider the possibility of Henry knowing Luke had been here and the suspicions that would arouse.

‘So you don't think it's dodgy that he wants to settle down so young? Hats and Suze are convinced he's after Gem's money.'

Arch shrugged. ‘He's an orphan too. I reckon things are different when it's just you against the world. You'd want to start building your tribe sooner rather than later.'

‘Do you know what happened to his folks?'

He shrugged again. ‘I didn't like to ask. But it explains a lot, don't you think?'

‘Yeah, maybe.' She pulled her hands out of the water, shaking them dry and resting them under her cheek like Archie.

‘My darling wife and her mother are making their lives far more stressful than they need to, by fretting about this wedding; it's not like we don't have enough going on at the moment, what with me trying not to die.'

‘Oi. Enough of that talk, mister.'

Archie winked at her again. ‘Gem's nearly twenty-one: she can make her own decisions. Frankly she
should
make her own decisions. What's the worst that can happen? They divorce.' He gave a lackadaisical shrug.

‘Arch, you say that like it's no big deal, but I've got the T-shirt, remember? It's pretty bloody bad. I feel like I've had to grow a new skin, a new heart, getting over it.'

Arch reached over and patted her hand.

She tried to go back to the point. This was about Gem, not her. ‘Plus, when they divorce, he takes half her fortune –
that's
the problem Hats and Suze are worried about. Gem's robust – she'll bounce back; but that inheritance is her parents' legacy.'

‘Laird's not materially minded. Look at him back there. He's all about the spirit, catching the perfect wave.'

‘Even more reason, then, why he'd be up for a quarter-share in Butterbox and Snapdragons. This is one of the top ten surfing beaches in the world.'

Archie pulled a shocked face. ‘So sceptical, Miss Fraser! I never knew you had it in you.'

‘That's the thing about divorce, Arch,' she muttered, closing her eyes again. ‘By the time you come out the other end, you automatically see the worst in everybody and don't trust anybody.'

‘Not even yourself?'

‘Myself least of all. No one ever said survival was pretty.'

There was a small pause. ‘Henry's not Gil. He would never—'

‘I know.' Dammit. They were back to her, again.

‘But . . . ?' Archie asked, opening both eyes to look at her.

She looked back at him. ‘But every time I think of becoming a Mrs again – a
wife
– I feel trapped and powerless, like I'm putting my entire life in his hands. I know Henry would never abuse my trust, but then I never thought Gil would either. It's not as simple as just putting another ring on my finger. I have to give up my name, change my passport, my driving licence, my bank details . . . Everything that says I'm
me
. Nothing changes for you. You lot don't even have to wear a ring if you don't want to. It's the girls who do all the giving up, renouncing their own identity, not the men.'

Archie's face fell. ‘Christ, when you put it like that . . . I feel bloody awful now to have asked Suzy to be my wife.'

Cassie laughed, splashing him with water. ‘Stop it. You know what I'm saying. When you get married for the first time, you place hope over experience. It's different second time around. And none of these feelings are about doubting Henry – it's not personal or about him. They're just the scars of divorce.'

‘Once bitten, twice shy, huh?'

It wasn't the first time she'd been told that. She stared at him. ‘Surely you can talk to him for me, when he gets back? Try and get my point across? Whenever I try, he takes it as a rejection of him, and it's not. And then we fight.'

‘Hang on a minute, I'm supposed to be negotiating between you and Suze, not you and Henry.'

‘I'll pay you a commission.' She pulled a face. ‘I seem to be at war with everyone at the moment. Can't do right for doing wrong.'

‘It'll all make sense with hindsight. That's what I always tell myself when I'm on a balls-up bender of my own.'

‘Yo!' They both lifted their heads to find Laird paddling towards them, a grin on his face. ‘Look who's come to join us for a few rides before sundown.'

They glanced behind to see a dark head, powerful shoulders and arms, paddling fast in their direction, wetsuit still rolled down.

Cassie felt her heart drop. Oh great, what was
he
doing out here? One of the reasons she'd come out in the first place was to avoid having to see him, along with the others, at the house.

‘Luke, old boy,' Archie said happily, struggling to sit up, wincing as the cold seawater slapped around him from the movement.

‘Hey,' she nodded quietly, sitting up too as he approached. She watched as he pushed up into a sitting position, legs astride the board, his eyes dancing with the same delight as Laird's.

‘It was too good an evening to pass up,' Luke grinned, bumping boards with Archie in greeting and noticing his bone-dry hair. ‘Caught any good waves so far?'

‘Well,
I've
been ripping it up, but these two have been holding a mothers' meeting,' Laird laughed. ‘I thought they were going to whip out a flask and start serving up coffees at one point.'

‘I'll have you know we've been putting the world to rights over here. Poor Cass has got a lot on her plate at the moment. Falling off the bridge this morning was the least of her worries.' Archie gave her a comradely wink.

‘Oh yeah?' Luke said, jamming his arms into the sleeves of his wetsuit and rolling it over his shoulders. ‘Like what, Cass? I thought your life was pretty perfect.'

Cassie stared at him. Like he didn't know! It was his fault that she'd fallen out with Amber, Gem
and
Suzy! She'd told him she didn't want all those beers; she'd told him she didn't want to get on his shoulders, and look at the result! He hadn't even been allowed to talk to her since the concert. How could he pretend nothing was wrong, for either one of them?

‘Arch is telling porkies. We were actually discussing whether he should go ahead with the operation for his ingrowing toenails.'

‘Eww!' Laird laughed as Archie gasped in indignation.

‘Suzy would never stand for my toenails getting that long.'

‘Your wife clips your toenails, mate?' Laird asked, slapping his board with hilarity. ‘Oh, dude, that's even worse!'

Cassie chuckled – glad she'd moved the conversation on – but she was aware of Luke's stillness amid their silliness, his eyes upon her, just like Suzy had said.

‘Well, whatever you've got going on, it's time to ride,' Luke said after a moment, reaching his arms up behind his head and tugging the tape on the back zip. ‘These waves are perfect for you. I learned on surf like this.'

Archie wrinkled his nose. Apart from his legs dangling in the water, he had dried off. ‘To be honest, I think I'll just—'

‘Uh-uh-uh. There's only one way back in, mate,' Laird said, slapping one hand onto Archie's shoulder. ‘And that's standing up. Come on, you've done it once before. I'll lead you in.'

‘Cassie? Want me to guide you?' Luke asked her, running his finger inside the neckline of his wetsuit, adjusting it fractionally.

‘It's all right,' she demurred. ‘I can't stand up. I'll just belly-board in.'

He looked at her in surprise. ‘That's it? You're just going to give up? I never thought of you as a quitter.'

‘Listen, I've spent over a week trying to get up on this thing. No one can say I haven't tried.' Frustration tinted her voice.

‘Then we'll do it together. Surfing's all about knowing when to make your move. You can't go for just any wave. We'll line up just after the break there and when I say go, you pop, OK?'

She shrugged with a teenager's carelessness, wondering what the fallout would be when it got back to the girls that the two of them had been surfing together too. Archie might have to become her character witness. ‘Fine, but Laird said exactly the same thing and I know it's not as easy as you make it sound.'

‘We'll see you back on shore, chaps,' Archie said as Laird began paddling away.

Luke nodded, watching them go before turning back to her. ‘You OK?' he asked in a different tone of voice – concerned, intimate.

‘Why wouldn't I be?'

‘I mean everything that's been going on with Amber and the girls. It seems like you're having a tough time.'

Cassie immediately looked away, taken aback by his kindness, a wall of blocked emotion rearing up inside her and taking her completely unawares. Why was she upset? She didn't understand . . .

‘Amber feels so bad about earlier. I mean, really, really bad. She was in a bit of a state when we got back to the house, to be honest.'

Cassie shrugged. Amber hadn't looked in much of a ‘state' in that hidden nook at the far end of the beach when she'd stumbled across them kissing earlier, but she wasn't prepared to go over it with him.

She looked down, noticing that her hands were beginning to tremble. She'd been in the water for too long. That, probably, and the shock . . .