Summer Sunsets (11 page)

“
I need my pole to fish.”
She holds out her hand, expecting I’ll just give it to
her.

“
Okay, well, first I’m going
to help you cast the line out as it should be so neither of us ends
up getting hurt.”

“
Oh, this should be
fun.”

I step behind her so
there’s no room between us and lean over her shoulder to wrap my
arms around her. “Set your hands atop mine so you can feel what I’m
doing.”

As I start to east the pole
back, I feel her strain, almost as though my arms are much too
close, but she doesn’t complain or let go. I feel the lightest
pressure of her fingers atop mine. It’s like, for that moment, our
bodies are one, and even when I snap my wrist and release the
button, she’s there with me, just like Skye has always been. We
both watch the line fly out over the water before the weight sinks
it.

A moment after I’ve cast
out, I’m still standing there, my head just over her shoulder, and
even if neither of us looks at the other, we sense the proximity of
our bodies, the only motion is the light lifting and falling of our
chests as we breathe.

It’s a perfect moment, and
I’m afraid to move, afraid to speak. I don’t want to separate from
her, and in this nearness, I sense she wants to be close to me,
too. I think about kissing her again when the line snaps, tugging
the bobber under.

“
Did you see that?” Skye
asks, breathless as her hands fall away.

“
Yeah.” I reel in slightly.
The bobber bounces a few more times and then settles. Either the
fish has lost interest or there’s no bait left. Either way, I’ve
been brought back to fishing, so I grab my pole and sit in the
chair next to Skye’s.

We fish for an hour or so
before I start setting up the tent as dusk fills the sky and sunset
sets the lake aflame. Skye watches me for a moment before setting
her pole aside. “I didn’t think you were serious about camping. You
could have told me.”

“
You didn’t ask.” I’ve about
got the tent halfway up, and I see her step toward the lake,
indecision written all over her face as she wipes a light sheen of
sweat from her forehead. A few moments ago, she felt free as a
bird, but suddenly not so much. I have to get this tent assembled
before it gets dark, so I keep working.

Finally, when that’s done,
I pull out the cooler with sandwich stuff and call her over so we
can share some food. She really picks at her lunchmeat, and I can
tell something is really bothering her.

“
Okay, out with it,” I
say.

“
Out with what?” She takes a
bite and looks at the ground.

“
Something is bothering you,
and I want to talk about it because I won’t have a clue how to help
otherwise.” I reach over to touch her hand, and she
stiffens.

“
There’s nothing going on.
Really.”

“
Bullshit. You’re freaking
out, and I want to know why. Is it the tent?”

She kind of looks over at
it, and a flush creeps into her face. That’s what tells me I
guessed right even when she won’t say a word. Finally, I nod.
“Okay, so what’s wrong with the tent? I mean, we’ve stayed in the
same beach house before.”

“
It’s not the same, Devin.”
She starts to get up when I gently grasp her arm.

“
Tell me what’s different.”
My voice is quiet, and I’m kind of nervous, like I’ve done
something to upset her when I never meant to.

She takes a nervous breath
and stares at the ground. “It’s like we’re so close together. It’s
such a small space, and there’s nowhere to go.”

Immediately I see where
this is going. “It’s not like that between us, Skye. There’s never
going to be anything that happens that you don’t want to happen. I
won’t ever hurt you, and you know it, but if you really feel that
uncomfortable, we don’t even have to stay in the tent. I can drive
you back. I was just trying to surprise you.”

Her shoulders sink even
further, and I feel I’ve said the wrong thing yet again. “No, I
want to stay. I’m just afraid.”

I stand and slide my finger
under her chin, forcing her to look me in the eye. “Afraid of
what?”

“
Devin, God knows why you
don’t give up on me.” She pulls away and tries to walk off, a flush
coloring her cheeks, and I feel her close to an emotional edge, but
my feet don’t seem to dig into the earth. Even though she
half-heartedly tries to pull away, I catch her wrist and then I
twine my fingers with hers.

“
I’m never going to give up
on you, Skye. Never. You might as well understand that.”

“
Why?” Tears pool in her
eyes. “Why does it matter?”

I pull her toward me and
kiss her forehead. “Because you matter.”

She finally nods, but I can
tell she’s thinking of something else, something she’s not quite
ready to share. “Perhaps we should unroll the sleeping
bags.”

“
I’ll get right on it.” I go
to the back of the Jeep and grab them, and once inside the tent,
unroll them. I look toward the doorway and see Skye standing there,
staring in, her expression nervous until she finally crosses the
threshold and sits.

For a moment, we sit and
watch the last of daylight leaving through the unzipped sections of
the tent. Her eyes are wide and luminous in the starlight, and I
can tell she’s nervous the way her fingers act like butterfly
wings, unable to still themselves for any length of
time.

She closes her eyes, and I
want to tell her that no matter what she’s thinking everything will
be all right, but I don’t think she’ll believe me, so I hold her
hand and let the night fill the void around us.

“
Devin, what if I can’t ever
have a relationship? I know you care about me, but even you have to
get tired. What if I never get over this bottomless
fear?”

I scoot closer. “I’ll wait
for you, Skye.”

She looks at me. “I didn’t
date in college. How lame is that?”

Reaching out, I stroke her
face. “It’s not. You weren’t ready.”

Leaning close, she sets her
head on my shoulder. “Do you think what I feel is
normal?”

“
Of course.” I lie down and
motion for her to join me and for the next hour, we just watch the
sky, witnessing a shooting star and listening to cricket song
before drifting to sleep.

Somewhere in the middle of
the night, I hear rain pattering atop the tent, and I get up to zip
the windows. I move slowly so as not to jostle and wake Skye, and I
lie back down facing her. Lifting my hand, I stroke her face as the
rain picks up. I lean close and kiss her forehead.

Her eyes open, and her
breath catches. For a few seconds I freeze, wondering if I’ve
overstepped my bounds. Her eyes widen, and she eases toward me
until her lips touch mine. I’m not expecting it, so everything
inside freezes, and I force myself to follow her lead.

The kiss is slow and
tentative, as though she isn’t sure of what she’s doing, and that’s
the last thing I want. I reach out and touch her cheek. That seems
to draw her closer, and add to the intensity of her mouth on mine.
My heart thunders in my chest, and it seems so loud I wonder if she
can hear it. My hands tremble from being so close. She is
everything I want. She’s always been everything.

Her hands reach out and
draw me closer to her so I feel a sudden urgency in her. Part of me
wants to pull back and make sure Skye is okay with this, but if I
do, that will only make her think, make her doubt what she’s
doing—make her doubt her feelings for me.

The rain beats down harder.
The droplets are driving with the same intensity of our kisses. I
touch my lips to her cheek and neck, and that’s when I hear her
breathy request. “Make love to me, Devin.”

It’s then I do draw back
because I have to know Skye is really okay with this. I don’t want
to be some crazy thing she did because she needed to prove to
herself she could. That’s not me at all. “Skye, are you sure about
this—I mean really, really sure?”

She takes a deep breath and
nods. “Yes. I want you to make love to me.”

This should be the one
thing I’ve waited for, but I have doubts, and it’s only when her
hands begin exploring my body that I push my trepidations aside and
give in to a need that’s been building for as long as I’ve known
Skye, and yet even as I touch her, gently peeling away her clothes
as the rain spatters the tent, I take things slowly, always giving
her time to stop me until there is no time left and nothing to
stop—nothing that can be stopped. Our bodies finally join the way
our souls did long ago, and when we’ve spent ourselves, I gather
her against my chest and listen to the rain.

Lying there, Skye is quiet,
and that troubles me because even as much as I know Skye, I can’t
always read her. I kiss her forehead. “You all right?”

She smiles, but it doesn’t
quite touch her eyes. “Yeah.”

I want to ask her more, but
I don’t know what to ask. I feel tremors in her world, but I don’t
know where the fault line is. So I do the only thing I know to do.
I whisper, “I love you, Skye. I’ve always loved you.” Then I wrap
my arms around her and wait for her to drift to sleep before I
finally close my eyes.

The next morning, I find
Skye already up. She’s facing the lake, her arms folded across her
chest, and the gentle wind stirring at the water drowns out the
sound of my approach. I smile, leaning toward her, and kiss her
neck.

“
Hey, you,” I
whisper.

She kind of jumps, and her
arms fall to her sides. I reach out and lightly brush my hands up
and down them, trying to relax her.

“
Hey.” Her voice sounds
small and lost. Not a good sign.

“
Did you sleep okay?” I ask,
not liking the way the silence feels. It makes me worry that
somehow she might have taken last night the wrong way.

“
Yeah,” she manages, slowly
turning. Her gaze is averted, and I can tell she’s stressed. “Last
night was—”

“
Perfect,” I finish for her.
I don’t have a clue what she’s thinking. All I know is there’s this
ring in my pocket, and if I’d believed it would help her understand
that what happened last night is the least of the reasons I love
her, I’d pull it out and propose right now. She’d chalk it up to
feeling guilty over making love. But she’d be wrong—oh, so
wrong.

Instead, I gently pull her
into my embrace and kiss her forehead. She looks up at me with her
dark eyes misted with tears, and it hurts to see her like that.
“Devin—”

“
Shh,” I say, touching my
fingertip to her lips. “I know you, Skye. You’ve got a million
reasons why last night was a bad thing, and I’ve only got one why
it was right—but my one reason trumps all of yours. I love you.
What we have isn’t based on last night, and whatever crazy thoughts
you’ve got running through your head, I’m not going anywhere, and I
don’t look at you any differently now except that I love you more.
So whatever it is you think you need to tell me, don’t. Just let me
hold you.”

Instead of arguing, she
ducks her head beneath my chin and rests there. That’s when I know
she’s finally listening to my heart.

Chapter Ten

On our way home, Skye
suggests we rent a movie for tonight, and that’s fine by me—any
chance I get to spend with Skye is great. I’m pretty jazzed because
I wasn’t sure how she would deal with what happened between us,
even though she said it was what she wanted. There’re times Skye is
still so skittish I’m not sure she knows what she wants.

I pull up to the video
store, and we both jump out. She looks over at me and flashes a
smile. “What’s the matter, Devin? Got to make sure I don’t find a
romantic comedy or something?”

Sliding my arm around her, I
flash a grin. “Nope, we can watch your romantic comedy. I’m just
here to rent an action movie to balance it out. You know—a little
blood and guts with my romance.”
“Figures.” She starts to open the door, but I beat her to it, and
she giggles and steps inside. Watching her face, I’m amazed at the
transformation, and I hope it lasts. I don’t think I’ve seen Skye
this carefree since we were kids. Her humor is infectious, and I
find myself grinning like a moron, but at least I’m a
happy
moron as I reach out
and grab her hand.

I’m right about Skye’s
choice. She gravitates toward the romantic comedies, which is
pretty much commentary on what Skye believes—she wants to think
that a permanent and perfect kind of love exists, but part of her
is confused by it. It’s a nice “diversion” from her doubts, and she
ends up watching a lot of chick flicks. Me, I watch them with her,
hoping that something from them sticks and she finally accepts that
I can love her unconditionally.

“
What about this one?” She
holds up
Ever After
and looks at me to see what I think.

“
You’re in a mood for
Cinderella, eh?” I ask, taking a glance at her offering and then
looking over her which isn’t hard. I’m much taller, something I
often give her grief about because it’s too much fun to pass up, if
you want the truth.