Sun-Kissed Christmas (Summer) (11 page)

“I love the beach after it rains,” Diana said. “It’s like everything’s brand-new.”

Seth took her hand. It was almost midnight. They walked in silence at the surf’s edge, both barefoot. The wet sand was packed tight, cool and unyielding under their toes. The air smelled briny and alive. On the horizon a few clouds had parted, revealing a light dusting of pale stars, but the moon was hidden from view. Without the moonlight glazing the waves, the ocean was an invisible, vast presence. It was pure sound, the soothing crash and tumble of waves and nothing more.

“There’s no moon tonight,” Diana said.

“Just because we can’t see it doesn’t mean it’s not there.”

“Can I ask you something without sounding jealous and paranoid and just generally neurotic?” Diana said.

“Well, it would be a first,” Seth said affectionately, “but hey, give it a shot.”

“What did you and Summer talk about at the mall today?”

“The usual stuff. School, Christmas. Let’s see. Oh,
we talked about Adam a little.” Seth paused. “And I told Summer I hoped we could be friends.”

Diana let her hand slip out of Seth’s “What does that mean, exactly?”

“You know, Diana. A friend. Someone to bum money from. Someone to watch TV with. Someone who’ll pick you up when your car blows a gasket. A friend.”

“I guess I don’t see …” Diana stopped walking. The cool water rushed over her toes. “I guess I don’t see why you have to see her anymore at all. Why it can’t just be over totally.”

Even in the dark, she could see Seth’s exasperated expression. She couldn’t really blame him. But she couldn’t seem to help herself either.

“It can’t be totally over,” Seth said, placing his hands on her shoulders, “because I care about Summer. I always will. You can’t just turn feelings on and off like a faucet, Diana. I’ve known Summer a long time. I hope she’s always my friend.”

He cupped her face in his hands and gently kissed her. It was a tender, soft kiss, and she knew it was meant to reassure her. But all Diana could think of was the hundreds, maybe thousands, of times he’d kissed Summer, and how that memory would always be there, ruining moments such as this.

She pulled away abruptly. “I just don’t know if I
can deal with all the history, Seth. The lies and anger and everything.”

Seth smiled wryly. “Nobody lied more last summer than you, Diana.”

“True. But that’s part of the problem. I know it’s my own fault, but I wonder if you can ever look at me and see
me
. Not the person who broke up you and Summer.”

“You didn’t break us up.” Seth gave a short laugh. “Well, you didn’t help, God knows. But the truth is, even Austin didn’t break us up. The problem was between Summer and me. It just wasn’t … working out.”

They resumed walking. After a while Seth took Diana’s hand again. She tried to enjoy the moment: the cool sand, the salt breeze, the feel of Seth’s warm fingers twining in hers, the sound of his steady breathing.

But she couldn’t. All she could do was imagine another night not so far in the future—a night when she’d have to walk alone on this same beach without Seth. A night when she’d know she’d lost him to Summer for good.

“Sometimes I wish I could just erase the past,” Diana said. “Get amnesia, maybe. I wouldn’t have to forget everything. Just the hard stuff. The stuff that hurts. The times I’ve disappointed people. The times people have disappointed me.”

“Are you talking about me?”

“No.” Diana shrugged. “You haven’t, not yet. I don’t know who I mean. Mallory. Other guys. Just … people.”

“If you lost all the bad stuff, the good stuff wouldn’t feel so good,” Seth said.

He paused, pulling her close. Diana laid her head on his shoulder, gazing out at the ocean, as invisible and mysterious as her future.

“We can’t wish our past away, Diana,” Seth whispered. “But maybe we can learn from it. Maybe you and I can find something Summer and I couldn’t find. Maybe we can find a way to make things work.”

They kissed again, long and slow. When Diana opened her eyes, she could just make out the moon glowing small and yellow, like a porch light on a foggy night.

Spoonbills and Stuffed Lambs

Two days later Summer was on the porch sorting through some recent purchases when she heard Austin’s car rattling up the drive.

Esme was in the front seat with him. She waited in the car while Austin removed yellow canvas and a large bundle of poles from the trunk.

“I come bearing gifts,” Austin called as he strode up the drive. He dropped the bundle at Summer’s feet.

“Is that a tent?” Summer asked.

“It’s a potential tent, anyway.”

“Khaki would have been more realistic. But I’ll take what I can get.”

“What’s in the big box?” Austin asked.

“Stuff,” Summer said evasively.

“Is that a canteen I see?”

Summer shoved the cardboard box toward him. “See for yourself. But if you don’t approve, just do me a favor and keep your mouth shut. I’m starting to have second thoughts as it is.”

“Two mess kits, an army blanket, a nurse’s cap, a helmet.” Austin whistled. “Where did you find all this?”

“Mostly the Goodwill outlet and that army surplus store up the highway.”

Austin shook his head. “So you’re really going through with this reunion?”

“I’m not sure anymore.” Summer yanked the box away. “It seemed like such a good idea at first, but then I started to have doubts when you were so dead set against it. And when I told Marquez and Diana about it, they just sort of rolled their eyes and said I was an incurable romantic. Well, Diana said I was an incurable romantic. Marquez said I was deranged.”

Austin frowned. “I went to all the trouble of finding you this tent,” he said. “Now I sort of feel let down.”

“You told me this idea was dumb.”

“I know, but I figured you’d barrel ahead with it anyway. You are incredibly stubborn, in case no one’s ever pointed that out to you. And anyway, I brought you the tent, didn’t I?”

“I don’t know what to do.” Summer sighed. “I guess I’ll see how I feel. Tomorrow’s Christmas Eve, so this’ll have to wait till after the holidays. There’s no way I could get them together tomorrow. Even if I
did
think of a way to do it.”

Esme honked the horn impatiently. “Hang on, Es,” Austin called. He turned back to Summer. “Finished with your paper?” he asked.

“Almost. But I’m not sure how to end it. I guess I was waiting to see if I’d go through with this plan.” She smiled wistfully. “I even got a CD. Greatest hits of the forties. They’re kind of cool, actually. There’s this one song, ‘I’ll Be Seeing You.’ They used to play it all the time during the war. Really sad.”

“I’ve heard it. Harris has some old, worn record he used to play. ‘I’ll be seeing you in all the old familiar places …’”

“That’s the one.”

“Yeah, it is sad, when you think about all the men and women who died. All the couples who were never reunited.”

Another car, even more rust-eaten than Austin’s, rolled up. Diver jumped out and waved to Summer and Austin.

“You know, I could stick around if you want,” Austin said. “That tent’s tough to put up. Especially with this wind. Weather sure has been freaky lately.”

“I’ll manage.”

“It might require some manly brute strength.”

“The same could be said of Esme,” Summer replied coolly. “Besides, I can get Diver to help. And Seth’s coming over later to work on our roof. You’d better hit the road.”

“Look, if you do go ahead with your plan, call me, okay?”

“Sure.”

Austin started to leave, then hesitated. “You know, you were wrong about what you said the other day. I
do
have a romantic bone in my body.” He grinned. “I’m thinking it may be my left tibia, but I’d need an X ray to verify it.”

Summer crossed her arms over her chest. “Whatever you say.”

“If you read some of my latest poetry, you’d believe me.”

“Odes to Esme?”

Austin’s smile faded. He looked as though he was about to say something, then reconsidered. “I’ve been working on another subject, actually.”

“What?”

“Oh, you know how poets are. We don’t like to discuss works in progress.”

“When will you be done with it?”

“I don’t know,” Austin said, and he suddenly
looked terribly sad. “Maybe never.”

Summer watched Austin head back to his car. He passed Diver on the way, acknowledging him with a terse nod.

“What’s up with Austin?” Diver asked.

“You tell me. You’re his roommate.”

Diver sat on the steps. “I told you. We don’t discuss our feelings.”

“I forgot.” Summer sighed. “Just your gaskets, right?”

“Carburetors. What’s the tent for?”

“I’m not sure.”

Diver leaned back, face raised to the sun. “Marquez back from her lunch shift?”

“Yeah. She and Sarah are building sand castles down on the beach. At least, Marquez is. Sarah’s kind of just observing.”

“Summer? Everything okay? You look a little confused.”

Summer sat down beside her brother. “I am. Austin’s confusing me. My history project’s confusing me. I guess you could pretty much say life is confusing me. How come you never seem confused, Diver?”

He smiled at her. “Because I accept my confusion instead of fighting it. It’s easier that way.”

“Does Marquez ever confuse you?”

Diver laughed. “Every day. But that’s okay. I love
her. So I figure the confusion is the price I have to pay to be in love. It seems like a fair trade-off. It’s just one of the mysteries of life. I like it that way.”

“I wish I did.”

Diver kicked off his shoes and stretched out his legs. “Today at work we had this great mystery.”

Summer smiled. Diver’s job guaranteed he always had some strange new alligator or pelican story to tell.

“A lady came in this morning with this Kleenex box filled with six baby birds. She’d found the mother nearby. It looked like maybe a cat or a dog had killed her. I could tell right away they were roseate spoonbills, this really rare species. Cool, right?”

“Right.”

“So I put them under the warming lamp. But the whole time my boss is freaking out because there are six of these birds, when everybody knows a spoonbill will lay two or three eggs at the most.”

“Any third-grader knows that,” Summer said, grinning.

“So I finally told Hal just to go with it, that it’s a mystery, but that in the meantime I could use some help.” Diver frowned. “Did this story have a point? I’ve sort of forgotten.”

“I love your
Animal
Planet
stories,” Summer said. “It doesn’t really matter whether they have a
point or …” Summer stopped. A brilliant idea had just popped into her brain, squeezing out every other thought. “Diver, these spoon birds are rare, right?”

“Spoonbills. In the old days they used to kill them and use their feathers for women’s hats. They’re protected now, though.”

“So these sextuplets would be a major draw, right?”

“If you’re into birds, sure.”

Summer leapt up. “Diver, I am suddenly less confused. About one thing, anyway. And I have you to thank for it.”

“You’re welcome, I guess.” Diver looked up at her, squinting into the sunlight. “So how come I’m more confused?”

“Just one of the mysteries of the universe,” Summer said happily.

Diana jumped when Summer threw open her bedroom door. “Jeez! I was afraid you were Sarah,” she said, hand to her heart. “Quick, close the door. She’s still playing with Marquez, right?”

Summer made her way through the minefield of unwrapped toys spread over Diana’s floor. “Well, playing might be pushing it. She’s been awfully subdued today, have you noticed?”

“I know. I’m worried about her.”

“Want me to help wrap?”

“If you want,” Diana said tersely.

“Are you mad at me about something, Diana?”

“No. Why?”

“You’ve just seemed kind of standoffish the past couple of days. Distant.”

“I’ve got a lot on my mind,” Diana said. “Sarah and all that.”

“And Seth?”

Diana curled a long piece of ribbon with the edge of her scissors. “And Seth.”

“There’s nothing between Seth and me anymore,” Summer said. “You’ve got to believe that, Diana, or you two aren’t going to have a chance.”

“I’m supposed to believe you’re rooting for us?”

“I am. I love you both. I’m not saying it isn’t weird seeing you together. But I do want things to work out for you two.”

“I wish I could believe that,” Diana said softly. “I
want
to believe it, but … it’s so hard. After everything that’s happened between us. I thought I could handle it better. I was wrong.”

Summer grabbed a roll of snowman wrapping paper. “I’m going to tell you something I haven’t told anyone, okay? I still have … feelings … for Austin.”

“Wow, breaking news. Alert CNN,” Diana said in a deadpan voice. “Marquez and I have been telling you that for weeks. What are you, oxygen-deprived? Is your brain even functioning?”

“Well, if you think that already, why are you worried about Seth and me?”

Diana shrugged. “How can I know how things’ll end up with you and Austin? Even you don’t know. Besides, Seth was your first love, Summer. You never get over your first love.”

“Sure you do.” Summer hesitated. “If your second love is the one you want to last forever.”

Diana was surprised to see tears in Summer’s eyes. “Is that what Austin is?”

“Maybe. But I don’t think he feels the same way about me anymore. If he ever did. I know that’s not what you want to hear. But it’s the truth.” She paused. “And it’s also the truth that Seth and I are over for good. Okay?”

Diana gave a small smile. “Okay. Thanks, Summer.” She tossed a roll of ribbon. “Here. Make yourself useful.”

Summer reached for the stuffed lamb Diana had bought for Sarah. “Cute.”

“Marquez doesn’t think so. She says Lamb is irreplaceable. I say he’s a health hazard.”

Summer found a pair of scissors on the floor and cut out a large square from the roll of snowman paper. “Listen, I may need your help tomorrow for a little while.”

“You’re going ahead with the big World War Two reunion?”