Super: Origins (21 page)

“I didn't,” he replied sullenly, still not meeting her gaze.

Lex said nothing in return and continued walking for the door.

For some reason, Lex couldn’t remember leaving or going downstairs, but suddenly she came to herself as she stood out on the street near the exit door of the condo building, pressing her back into the sun-warmed stone, panting and sweating. The air she breathed felt hot and thick, tasting of sour, broken dreams.

She felt…crazy. Lex’s rage pounded through her veins, alternately hot and cold, and she couldn’t stop shaking no matter what she did. She wanted to scream, to beat on something. Well, to be precise, to beat
someone
. All the people passing by on the street irritated her, even though they seemed to have enough sense to give her plenty of space. It felt as if their presence, just going about their daily activities, grated on her.

Lex struggled and tried to get herself to think more clearly.
Can’t be like him
, she thought, remembering the fear she’d seen in Kurt’s eyes and feeling bile rise in her throat in rejection of the image of herself equated with her father. She repeated the thought like a mantra as she tried to figure out where to go. Staying in public felt unsafe to her; Lex knew she either needed to be somewhere alone, where she could work out her anger, or somewhere everyone around her would be safe as well.

I can go back to headquarters
, her mind suddenly supplied, but the idea of getting on the metro again seemed like a big red flag to Lex in her current mood. Realizing she’d need more cash to get a taxi, Lex crossed the street as she saw an ATM with no line and then walked to a hotel on the corner where she’d often seen taxis waiting.

She leaned her head against the greasily smeared side window once she sat in the seat behind the driver, trying to ignore the scent of mildew and the black rage in her mind. After tonelessly giving the driver the address, Lex began to mutely study what flashed by in the window without really seeing it, trying to calm herself with deep breaths. When the driver tried to engage her in small talk, Lex looked darkly at him in the rear view mirror.

“Just drive,” she ground out.

Lost in thought, Lex suddenly saw her expression reflected in the window glass as the taxi went under a bridge and considered how different it looked from the grin seen reflected in the train window not long before. The expression in her eyes still haunted her as the taxi burst out into the sunlight again; she looked as if she'd been in a war and lost. She had become accustomed to looking into those eyes every day during her childhood, and to see them again felt nearly unbearable. She stared at the floor then, just willing the taxi to get to headquarters as soon as possible, the tight fist in her lap beginning to shake with the effort required to hold herself together.

Finally the cab stopped, and Lex looked up to see the now familiar squat grey building. She let out a sigh of relief as she checked the meter and took out some money, including an extra $20.

“Thanks for the ride,” she managed, handing the wad of cash to him and getting out of the cab. Lex felt the sun beating down on her as she walked to the front door, lugging her bags. She found it strange to have felt glad upon seeing headquarters, but she felt the relief in the pit of her stomach when she swiped her cardkey and the sliding front door unlocked and slowly opened.

Upon coming in, Lex looked swiftly about and then practically ran for the stairs when she saw no one else. She hurried down to the martial arts studio where she knew the heavy bag would be waiting for her.

The room was empty when she arrived, but the heavy bag swung there, and Lex could almost feel it looking at her. And then she saw a vision of Kurt standing there, looking at her with contempt. Lex dropped her bags and charged forward with a growl, kicking the bag right where Kurt's head would be.

His words started to repeat in Lex's mind and she could hear “oh, those scars!,” “good fuck,” and “it's a fair trade” over and over, making her feel as if a million stinging bees had landed on her skin. She could see Kurt instead of the heavy bag now, and punched him hard in the face. Lex saw him rock back in her mind with a bloody nose. She snorted, watching him take his hand away from his face, look at the blood on it, and then glare indignantly back at her.

“That's nothing. Just wait,” she said, aiming a kick for his midsection.

He doubled over when her foot landed on his stomach so she kneed him in the forehead, which brought him up to a standing position backed against the wall. She began hitting him in the midsection then, a hail of punches to different areas—his stomach, sides, and groin. Lex stopped her exertions for a moment, panting hard. She snapped her mouth shut seconds later as she realized she’d been cursing the vision of him to the rhythm of her blows.

Once she caught her breath she kneed him again in the side, in his kidneys, and then kicked him in the face when he fell to one knee. After that, she kicked his supporting leg out from under him, and got him a couple more times as he fell to the ground. She could see him breathing afterwards, but also saw a lot of blood around his head.
Well, head wounds always bleed like crazy
, she thought.

After a while, Lex blinked a few times and found herself standing alone in the half-lit martial arts studio with the heavy bag swinging like a pendulum. She’d scratched up her hands, and her chest continued to heave as if she'd run a mile sprint. The fury she'd felt seemed to melt away and Lex slumped forward as a crushing sense of loss washed over her, leaving her feeling like the biggest fool in the world.

When she finally looked at herself in the mirror, Lex just stared momentarily. She tried to push her hair into some sort of order but it seemed both wild and stringy at once, and she didn't have much success. Lex found she couldn't look into her eyes for long because she again saw the dark, hopeless gaze she remembered seeing throughout her childhood, and it made her stomach clench to see that it had returned. She flinched away from the mirror and gathered her bags in order to trudge back upstairs.

Upon emerging on the main level, Lex looked across the front hall through the kitchen door to see Casey and Serena. They appeared to be discussing something or maybe arguing. Lex stopped for a moment, wanting nothing more than to go to her room, pull the covers over her head, and forget this day had ever happened, but she somehow forced herself to head for the kitchen, knowing that she’d wanted to ask Casey to help her with tomorrow's move.

The two of them stopped talking, Serena pausing in mid-gesture as she leaned on the kitchen island, and looked at Lex as she appeared in the doorway. Casey smiled as she saw her friend. “Hey Lex, I thought your note said that you'd gone home to see your boyfriend.”

Lex's felt herself wince involuntarily. She quickly wiped the expression off her face but saw from Serena's interested look and Casey's concern that it hadn't gone unnoticed. Realizing that she needed to explain, Lex tried to assemble her scattered thoughts. “Uh, it didn't…didn't work out,” Lex began after clearing her throat. Her voice sounded as if it hadn’t been used in a long time.

She thought about how to tell the story as the other women watched her intently and finally just decided to rip the bandage off quickly. “I came home to hear him talking on the phone about how he’d agreed to break up with me in exchange for a job that someone had promised him.” The words tasted so amazingly bitter on her tongue that Lex’s fists tightened automatically.

Lex had bowed her head as she’d finished, but looked back up again as suddenly she felt herself caught up in a big hug. To her surprise she saw Serena’s arms wrapped around her. The bags fell off Lex's shoulders, and her arms came up, seemingly by themselves, to hug Serena back. Lex closed her eyes and breathed in Serena’s perfumed scent, the gesture making her feel somewhat better yet infinitely worse.

“You poor girl,” Serena said, her voice low, sounding as if she’d been hurt by seeing Lex’s pain.

Lex felt a painful bubble pushing up inside her chest, and she had to clear her throat a couple of times and swallow carefully before she could respond, “Thanks.”

Her eyes closed involuntarily as she stood there for a few moments more, but they opened back up as she felt a large hand on her shoulders. Lex looked up to see Casey, and tried to smile.

“I'd be able to understand better if he was poor, but his family's loaded. They practically bought him that condo we were living in…” Lex trailed off, the thought suddenly hitting her that it didn’t matter anymore. She swallowed again, and it felt a little less painful, as the three of them moved to stand a bit further apart. Lex looked up at Casey before she spoke again.

“I told him I’d be back tomorrow at noon to pick up the rest of my stuff, and I was hoping, Casey, that maybe you could help me. In the morning I can go out and rent a van. I don't have any furniture right now, so it's mostly just small things—”

Casey interrupted, shaking her head. “You don't need to rent a van. We can sign one out of the garage.”

Lex looked at her in confusion. “What garage?”

The blonde grinned in reply. “Let's go down there now. We can check to see what vans they have in and make sure they have enough boxes.”

“Oh, OK,” Lex said, following Casey out of the kitchen.

To her surprise, Serena came along, as well. “I'm going to help, too, if you need it.”

“Thanks, Serena,” she answered, smiling feebly, “I'd really appreciate it.”

They all went down one level, and Lex found herself shaking her head. It hadn't occurred to her to ask what was on this level; she'd sort of forgotten it as she ran up and down the stairs. The stairwell door opened onto a large garage with a number of cars, vans, and other mechanical devices stored in it that Lex didn't automatically recognize.

The three of them found the mechanic onsite and signed out one of the smaller vans, then packed some empty boxes that they’d grabbed from a nearby storeroom into the back of the van. With that completed, the three women headed back upstairs. Lex felt tired and washed out again and sighed sadly, trying to keep it quiet. She stumbled a little in ascending, but Casey's strong hand on her back quickly steadied her. Lex looked over at her friend and tried to smile in thanks.

“So,” Serena said, turning to look at the two of them, “what are you planning to do this evening?”

Lex felt a pressing emptiness as she thought about that and her mouth tasted like dust again. She had no idea and hadn't thought about it since being in the metro this afternoon. The three of them passed through to the main level, and Lex cleared her throat again before answering.

“I don’t know. I have my DVD collection now, though, so maybe I'll just watch some movies…” she trailed off finally, trying not to look the other two in the eyes because she didn't think she could manage right then.
They must think I’m pathetic
, Lex told herself.

“Oh, no,” Serena replied, and Lex glanced at her as she shook her head from side to side. “We're going out. The worst thing you could do would be to sit around and mope. Trust me, I've been rejected more than a few times. We’ll go out and have a great time. There are plenty of men out there who aren't morons like your ex, so let's get out there and find some to make you feel more like you should.”

“But I'm not ready—”

Serena laughed, interrupting Lex. “I'm not saying you've got to have sex with them, I'm just saying that it’ll make you feel better to see that there are plenty more fish in the sea, and plenty who’ll be glad to pay you the attention you deserve. Understand?”

Lex stood still for a moment, not entirely convinced but willing to consider the idea. As she thought about it, it did seem more appealing than sitting around watching films, which probably wouldn't be diverting enough to keep her thoughts at bay, so she’d likely spend the evening feeling depressed. Being out with other people would be distracting and probably keep her from going over the scenes from the condo again and again in her mind. She went to pick up the bags she'd left in the front hall and heard Casey's voice.

“If you guys are going out tonight, I'm coming along,” she said, a trace of something like anger in her voice as she gave Serena a hard look.

Lex looked over to see Serena shooting Casey an interested glance in return. “The more the merrier,” she replied with a smirk.

As Lex turned to go upstairs, puzzled by the exchange, she felt a slim arm link into hers. “Come into my room, and we'll get you cleaned up and ready for tonight,” Serena told Lex, then looked back with a grin. Lex followed Serena’s glance to see Casey standing in the front hall looking fierce, her arms crossed across her chest.

Lex looked back at Serena as the woman tugged on her arm and got distracted as she had a bad thought, her heart sinking. “I just remembered that none of my dress clothes are here yet. The only things I have with me are workout gear and some business things.”

Serena seemed unworried, looking her up and down for a moment and considering. “Hmm…not a problem. We're more or less the same height, but I can tell you're broader than me because you’re obviously more fit. I have some slinky, stretchy dresses that will fit you fine, though.”

“Are you sure—” Lex began, feeling embarrassed by the redhead’s kindness.

“Yes, I'm sure,” Serena interrupted, elbowing Lex. “Now come on in so we can get you ready!”

Lex dutifully followed Serena to the room diagonally across the hall from hers. As the two of them entered, Lex just stood at the door for a moment, nearly gaping. The room layout was similar to her own, but slightly larger with no window. This had been compensated for by a projected picture of a beachscape with palm trees covering the far wall. The sun looked to be within a few hours of setting, and Lex could hear the gentle sound of waves hitting the beach and seagulls crying overhead.

She would have stood for a while dumbfounded by that, but then she caught sight of the oversized bed in the middle of the room. It had a circular shape and looked as if it could fit several occupants comfortably. Lex vaguely saw some additional furniture that looked tasteful yet somehow suggestive at the same time, but the rest of the room's details blurred as Serena grabbed her arm and hauled her into the bathroom.