Surrender (25 page)

27-Innocent Mistakes

There was a light tap on the door. Krishani raised his head, his face hidden behind his hands. He wanted to deny existence, move backwards in time, stop the Ferryman from dying in the first place. In the weeks since Kaliel left, the Elmare Castle had grown cold. He was a pawn in their games. Even Hernadette refused to make eye contact with him while she sorted out the herbs he would offer to the Gatekeeper.

Melianna, on the other hand, had been chirpy. As she measured him for the robes, she chattered on about the battles her father and his men fought in the Lands of Men. The conversations only made him more depressed that no matter what he wanted, not once had they bothered to mention Kaliel.

In addition, Kuruny was nowhere to be found. After that night he encountered her in the hallway, she had disappeared to some unknown place. He longed to speak with her more about the land she returned from so he could understand what he would face when he arrived.

That was the worst of it. The Ferryman followed death. It didn’t matter where Krishani went—he would find death and it would find him. A thought he didn’t want to relish.

Another knock on the door. He sighed and looked around his small room. There was nothing but what had been there since the day he arrived. He closed his eyes and tried to push away the sadness, the very urge to scream at Melianna. Profanities wouldn’t help. He sighed. There was no way to stop this.
Sweet surrender,
he thought as he lifted his head towards the door that was already creaking open.

He stomped his foot on the floorboards as he stood and the door shut with a bang. He ran his hands down the robes. They were embroidered in gold and loosely hugged his form. He shuffled towards the door and placed his hand on the doorknob. As his fingers gripped it he had another thought race through his mind: The Valtanyana. When would he encounter them? He shook his head. That was fear he didn’t need to carry. Corruption festered in every part of the Lands of Men. The Daed were crawling from every hole and crevasse they could find. Whoever sought Kaliel was much more dangerous than those he would encounter. He hoped she could evade the Valtanyana until he was strong enough to return to her.

“Krishani,” a voice on the other side of the door said.

He turned the handle. Melianna stood in the hallway, appearing nervous and bothered. She took off down the corridor, swiftly leading him to where the Elders waited.

• • •

Kuruny watched from the shadows as the Elders gathered in the main hall. The spectacle made her sick. She had to get to Krishani somehow before the insanity continued. She peered around the corner up the grand staircase to the east wing and caught a glimpse of Melianna’s satin blue slippers. She pressed her back against the stone wall.

The Elders arranged themselves in a line leading out to the courtyard. Kuruny recognized half of them, the others appointed during her extended absence. She glanced at the torch bearers. They were in twos, rounding the end of the processional. Lord Istar and Lady Atara were somewhere near the front in the midst of the courtyard. Kuruny was disgusted with her father. He wanted to keep her from the Lands of Men due to the hex, and yet refused to break it, and refused to allow her to join in the affairs of the land.

She scowled as she recalled the tasks she endured over the past few weeks. There was nothing she could say that would allow him to reconsider his decision, to consult with the Gatekeeper before sending his most prized apprentice to his death. And she was certain Krishani would die. She stifled a sigh as she recalled the fact she had barely escaped with her life. What would they do to someone like Krishani? It wasn’t as though his kinship wasn’t clearly marked. Even that cloak couldn’t hide the pointed ears, the mismatched eyes, or the pale white skin. All the men she had encountered were tanned, muscular and hairy. How they wouldn’t see him as a demon was beyond her.

She turned her attention to the processional as she watched the torch bearers exit the main hall. Her heart leapt out of her chest as she realized they were truly going through with it. She peered around the corner. The castle was empty. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She tiptoed towards the archway as she slipped outside into the courtyard. She hid behind a bush and watched them cross the bridge. The processional turned left as she scrambled across the yard, careful to keep up, but careful to stay hidden. They began down the forbidden trail to the top of Tirion Mountain. No one ever ventured there save during the Fire Festivals, and even then, only a select few were given the honor of hearing the voice of Avristar.

The sky gave off the last rays of sunlight, as the midnight blue of the night and a blanket of stars crept across the horizon.

Kuruny’s pulse quickened as she skipped over the bridge and watched them enter the forest path. She paused. She couldn’t go walking a few steps behind them. The path curled, but if even one of those torch bearers looked behind them, they would spot her plain as day. She calculated the distance, and what it would cost her to forge a path through the trees. The processional trudged on and as Kuruny found herself lost in thought, it moved out of sight. She cringed and dove into the trees, doubting her options were any wider. She pushed branches out of the way as she clumsily traipsed over the forest brush. She had to move faster. Krishani was at the front and she was wasting time. She sighed and scrunched up her nose in disgust. Begrudgingly, she quickened her pace and soon flickers of more torchlight, and the bobbing heads of Elders. Each of them had their head down in meditation. She snickered to herself and hoped they felt ashamed of their decision.

There were more ahead of her as she flew through the trees. Her lungs ached from exertion. That was new, but then again she had never forced herself to run like that. She looked through the branches and saw Istar’s long white hair. To his right was Atara, her auburn hair flowing behind her. Krishani shuffled along, the black hood of his robe pulled over his features to hide his fear. Her heart dropped. There was little hope of getting a message to him. The path turned and she watched as Istar and the others flowed around the base of the mountain, moving to the gradual incline. She winced and tried to find a line of sight to Krishani. It was difficult; the brush was in the way and his head was bowed. She carefully moved through the vegetation and once again hated her options. She stopped and grabbed hold of a branch above her and shook it, hoping it would cause enough commotion for him to turn and look.

She felt like an idiot.

Sure enough the whole processional stopped and turned in her direction. She gasped and dropped the branch, crouching to the ground. She peeked at them, thinking maybe he’d catch sight of her. No one came to investigate the rustling. Istar turned back to the path. Krishani lingered, his gaze searching the trees. His eyes met hers though she figured it was just by chance given all the branches.

“Krishani,” she telepathically projected.

His eyes widened as confusion and panic crossed his expression. She sighed and nestled herself into the brush below.

“I need to speak with you.” She didn’t bother to watch as the elders encouraged him to follow.

“What do you want, Kuruny?” His voice was a welcome change in her mind instead of her own panicked thoughts. She mused at both their competency as she assumed he was no good with the art of telepathy, but had proven her wrong.

“You’re not going through with this are you?”

“I have no choice.”

Kuruny sighed. He was too honorable to betray the land. He wouldn’t try to escape. She didn’t really care about him but she couldn’t let Istar make such a mistake. Maybe it would be enough for the lord to reconsider his decision and then Krishani wouldn’t be committing a crime. She had been worried about him since that night in the corridor. No matter what he thought of it, she feared for him, and if she could help, she would. She closed her eyes and tried to piece together her words so he would understand. Apparently the prospect of death didn’t scare him, and that was peculiar. Why wouldn’t he fight harder if he knew this would lead to his demise? She shook her head. Her own thoughts were muddled and she needed to be clear.

“It’s an absolute choice.”
She shifted her weight in the grass. The remainder of the torch bearers had already passed her, rounding the mountain.

“I don’t understand,” Krishani said.

“If you leave, you’ll never be with Kaliel again.”

Kuruny sat back in the grass, stunned by her own revelation, but it was the only way she could explain it. There was no way he would ever be able to return to Kaliel and live by her side. His only hope was in denying his duty. She found her way through the trees to the path. Krishani didn’t respond. She knew her words stung.

• • •

Krishani was agitated by the silent conversation. He stared at the ground as he tried to conceal its existence. The elders were known for their sharp abilities and he knew it was possible that Lady Atara could hear everything being said between him and Kuruny. He stuffed his hands into the sleeves of his robe and pushed his arms to his chest. The day had been bad enough without Kuruny’s idle speculation and warnings about death in the Lands of Men. He already knew how much death he would encounter. Death wasn’t the problem.

He shivered. Tremors raced through him as though an ice cold breeze had blown right at him. He took another step before nausea seeped in. Vertigo surrounded him as the word
never
clamored against his temples. He forced another step forward and tried to make it look natural, but he was breaking down. He had clung to Istar’s empty promise of his return. Kuruny wouldn’t lie; the Lands of Men betrayed her. She knew what kind of abhorrence he would face. If she went to such lengths to stop him, she must have good reason for it. And losing Kaliel forever was something he could never go through with.

“What do I do?” he asked, hoping Kuruny was still alert to his thoughts.

“Run.”

He grimaced. He could do that, but he had no clue where to go. His sadness and pain had forced most of his abilities to go dormant. Even the art of sensing was difficult these days. He shuffled along, the sickness in him thrashing against his inner organs.

“Where is she?”

“With Mallorn, in Nandaro.”

Krishani suddenly grew warm. How stupid could he have been? Istar left for Nandaro right before Kaliel had been taken away. Nandaro was a large province so finding her … but there was one place he knew of. Istar talked a lot about Mallorn and his journeys in the Avrigard quadrant. Kaliel must have been with him this whole time. He smiled. There was nothing that could stop him from reaching her.

“Shimma is waiting for you in the stables,” Kuruny said.

He set his plan in motion. He felt Adoron’s eyes on his back as they neared the sharp turn towards the steep ascent. Istar and Atara turned in unison. He paused, and ran his hands along the sash that held his robes together. He loosened it, the robe sliding off his shoulders, revealing his tunic and breeches. His stomach lurched as he leapt through the forest and clambered down the side of the mountain, unsure where the ground was.

He heard the shouts from Istar and Adoron as he tumbled through ferns, fighting to find the ground. The trees grew thinner and he emerged in the rolling fields on the north side of the castle. He fell on his hands and knees, panting. He looked back towards the path; it was much higher than he had expected, and he had fallen most of the way. He pushed himself to his feet and continued racing across the hills towards the stables. It was exhilarating, the feeling of the wind whipping his face, his heart thumping faster than a rabbit’s. He felt the rush of freedom and damnation at the same time, but at that moment all he could think about was Kaliel.

He rounded the castle and neared the stables. Shimma was standing outside with Rhina. Her hands grazed along the horse’s side as she hummed a haunting melody. The music wafted through the air as Krishani felt his senses sharpen. He saw Shimma’s face turn seasick as he approached her.

“Krishani!” she said.

He paused when he reached the mare, long enough to grab the reins and hop on its back. Shimma stepped away, but he looked at her, trying to gauge her twisted expression. He frowned and shook his head, too out of breath to speak.

“Something isn’t right, she’s not with Mallorn,” Shimma said.

Krishani’s eyes widened as he whipped the reins and sped off into the night.

• • •

Fear crippled Krishani as darkness closed in on him. Rhina was a skilled horse, but without the moon, the shadows in the forest deepened, making it impossible to see anything. He pulled the reins taut, leading Rhina back and forth through the labyrinth of trees, trying to feel Kaliel. This was bad. He wouldn’t forgive himself if he didn’t get to her in time and she had another episode. What was Mallorn doing to her? He heard nothing in the past three moons, no word of how Kaliel was. Istar avoided the subject, and kept giving him stronger herbs that made him pass out. Dreamless sleep was better than nightmare ridden sleep but it made him groggy and sluggish in the morning.

Rhina slowed as she stumbled over something and started taking cautious steps. Krishani gulped as nettles of a spruce scraped along his neck. He didn’t know what to expect when he did find her, but chills raised the hairs on his forearm as he slumped forward, letting the horse pull him through the endless forest with its own intuition.

Prickles crawled into him, and deep guilt mushroomed across his chest. He pushed himself up, wrapping the reins around his hands and glancing around. Kaliel was near, and she was in pain, but not the same kind of pain he felt when the Emerald Flame died. This pain was a tearing, aching pain that came in successions. He squinted at the shadowy forms of trees, but everything else appeared in deep shades of gray. His heart quickened and he slipped off the horse, looping the reins around its neck. He treaded carefully across the dirt, forcing his senses to reach out and find her.

Urgency flooded him as he passed another copse of trees growing close together. Nandaro was a never ending forest with undefined paths. While his training as a Brother of Amersil made forging forest paths easy it didn’t help him to find Kaliel. He sighed, his ears tuning in to the faint sounds in the forest. Grouses snickered as they passed, crickets creaked, and rabbits chattered. He tuned in deeper, hearing steady faint breaths. His stomach lurched as his hands slipped off the reins, a corner of the ivory dress appearing visible in the stark nighttime landscape.