Surrender (25 page)

My vision blurred, and Jag’s voice became fainter and farther away until there was nothing at all.

No older sister who’d been missing for three years, eight months, and thirteen days.

No boyfriend who loved me and had reunited me with the one person I longed for the most.

Only darkness, and I was alone with myself.

When I’m alone, I like to fantasize about what life might have been like if my family was still whole.

Would my mother have cooked fancy meals, or would I still have made my own lame baked potato?

Would Ty have helped me in school so I could get a decent job, or would I have ended up in the lame algae department?

Would I have depended on Zenn so much that I fell in love with him, or did I love him before the promise of a life together?

I didn’t know.

Dad said I had to learn to be satisfied with what I’d been given, but I didn’t know how.

Because I wanted more.

*   *   *

My heart doesn’t seem to be beating. I can’t get enough air.

“Jag, breathe, man.” Someone touches my back.

I look up into Pace’s face. His sharp silver eyes ease some of the tension in my lungs.

“I’m sorry, bro,” he says.

“Don’t,” I choke out.

He glances over his shoulder. Gavin stands near the door. She must’ve seen everything. And she chose not to tell me.

“Blaze . . . died . . . Zenn . . . an accident . . .”
My brother’s words torment me. The fact that I won’t see Blaze again slices into my gut. Coupled with the knowledge that Zenn—my best friend and most trusted Insider for two years—was involved and I can’t stand up straight.

I square my shoulders, determined not to break down. “Okay, so what now?”

Pace clears his throat. I close my eyes against the worry in his.

“Gavin’s seen something. We need you to return to the Goodgrounds.”

“What?”

Gavin glides forward. I want to bury my face in her neck and cry. She’s always been able to put me back together when I break apart. But I’m afraid to touch her. At the same time, I
want to grip the sides of her face, invade her mind, and watch how my brother died.

“I can’t tell exactly. I think it’s a person,” she says, her voice frail. “And whoever it is will tip the scale. Either for us or against us. You must find them. And soon.”

I take a deep breath, feeling it shudder through my chest. I’m about to say I can turn things over to my second-in-command when Gavin hugs me, an invitation for me to see for myself.

Red light pulses in a dark space. Tall buildings strobe to life. The glare highlights Zenn’s face every other second. His eyes are fierce, determined, terrified.

“Blaze,” he says. “You can’t. You go in there, you compromise the entire Resistance.”

“Thane won’t see me.” Blaze claps Zenn on the shoulder in his typical
I-know-what-I’m-doing
fashion. I long to feel him do it to me one more time.

“And what if he does? How are you going to explain the fact that the Assistant Counselor of Seaside is evacuating Insiders?”

“Don’t worry about it, Z.” Blaze actually sounds like he’s about to laugh.

Zenn doesn’t get the joke. His mouth tightens. “Stay here,” he commands.

The darkness pulses. When the world lightens, Blaze’s eyes are glazed over. He stands as still as stone.

“I’ll get the key code and meet you right here.” Zenn uses his voice. It’s powerful, controlling. Blaze merely nods.

I watch as Zenn abandons him. Leaves him there in the alley.

Sirens wail.

The red light doubles. Then triples. Dogs bark.

“Run!” I call, digging my fingernails into Gavin’s back. I vaguely hear her cry of pain. But I can’t stop now. Blaze is still in that alley. Still in danger.

And he can’t move.

Because Zenn told him to stay.

The vision fades. My hands ache from their clenched position. Anger pounds within my heart.

“Jag?” Gavin wipes my face. Her fingers come away wet. I look at them, marveling at the fact that I’m crying. I can’t decide if my agony is because Blaze died in an unknown alley in Freedom or because Zenn was the one who allowed that to happen.

Or because I sent them both there in the first place.

“He’s still your brother,” Gavin whispers. Her words and her breath cause goose bumps to erupt along my arms. I wonder who she means—Blaze or Zenn.

“Are you up for breakfast?” My sister’s voice echoed over the tech-comm. I sat up in bed, my heart pounding. Zenn’s voice still caught in my ears. Jag’s emotions still coated my nerves.

Next to me, Jag rubbed his eyes. “Yeah, sure. I just need to shower.”

“Okay. Is Vi awake?”

“Isn’t she in her room?” Jag asked, putting a finger to his lips. I smiled at the guilty look on his face.

“This
is
her room.”

Jag laughed like he’d been caught, well, in his girlfriend’s bedroom. “Uh, no, she’s not awake yet.”

“Jag, did you sleep on her couch all night?” Ty carried a hint of amusement in her voice.

Something like that,
I thought as Jag glanced to the couch in front of a sliding glass door. A ruffled blanket indicated that he had slept there at some point.

“Yeah, I guess so.”

“I knew you would. Did she ever wake up?”

“No, she never did,” Jag said.

“Well, wake her up if you can. She can’t sleep today away too.”

“I’ll try,” he said, his face breaking into a wicked smile. The tech-comm beeped and Jag wrapped his arms around me. He kissed me and ran his hands through my hair.

“Jag.” His name stuck in my throat. “Shouldn’t we go eat breakfast?”

“No,” he said, his lips brushing my neck. “Don’t worry, I take really long showers. And I have to try to wake you up, that could take a very long time.”

I tried to laugh, but I didn’t have the breath. He murmured beautiful words in his sexy, controlling voice.

“No talking,” I whispered. He fell silent for a minute before saying he couldn’t resist telling me how pretty I was and how much he liked saying my name. I’ll admit, I liked hearing it.

“So . . . you did sleep on the couch,” I said, finally pushing him away.

“Yeah. I have some honor,” he said. “But you had a nightmare. You wouldn’t settle down. So I held you until you stopped shaking.”

A blip of fear stole through me. I wondered if it was my nightmare or his that had disturbed me. “Thanks,” I said, “for you know. Whatever.”

Jag smoothed my hair off my face. “Don’t worry. You didn’t say anything embarrassing.”

I laughed, glad (for once) that Jag knew what to say to make me feel better.

“I like it when you’re happy,” he said.

I curled into his chest. “When I’m with you, I’m happy.”

“I know.”

“What don’t you know?”

He chuckled. “Not much, my pretty girl. Not much.”

But he knew me. Better than anyone else. Better than Ty and Zenn and sometimes even better than I knew myself.

I tilted my face up to his and he rested his forehead against mine. “I mean it, Vi. Without you, I would die. You really are my Choker. I’ve never felt so full.”

My life had always been empty, and I thought it was because my dad was gone or Ty was dead or my mother was
awful. But that wasn’t it. It was because I didn’t have Jag. Did I tell him that, though? Nope.

But I think he knew.

Jag went downstairs while I showered. Meeting my sister, fainting, and then sleeping for twenty hours wasn’t how I’d imagined things would go in Seaside. What would I say to her? I wondered if it would’ve been so hard for her to contact me. An e-comm or a simple projection or something. As a ranger, she could have found a way.

Nervously, I opened my bedroom door. Jag’s voice filtered up from downstairs. “. . . was seen a long time ago. He won’t be able to control me now.”

“But Jag, Thane won’t give up, that I do know. And now you and Vi—” A machine whirred, drowning out the rest of Ty’s answer. When Jag spoke again, his voice was low and angry. I paused, waiting for Ty to reply. Her higher voice carried much easier up the stairwell. “Jag, I’m worried about you, maybe I can—”

“I said stop,” Jag said, louder now. “Look, I know what has to be done. All Vi needs is to get that tag out. I’ll go get her.”

I thumped down the last four steps and rounded the corner. “Looking for me?”

Jag had started to move away from Ty, who was near tears.
She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and poured something pink into a glass.

Before I could open my mouth, Jag moved in front of me and placed both hands on the sides of my face. “Don’t worry, babe. Everything’s fine.”

I closed my eyes and nodded slightly before stepping away from him, half-aware that he’d used his voice control on me. But I felt too tired to call him on it. My brain filled with thoughts, emotions, random memories and wishes. Nothing fit together.

Jag led me to the table, where strawberries and cinnamon toast had been laid out. He poured orange juice and loaded a plate with food. He sat next to me and watched as I ate. Ty stayed in the exact same spot, sipping her shake.

My tension increased with every bite. Several times Jag glanced at Ty, his eyes narrowing for only a second before looking back to me. The silence pressed down until I couldn’t take it anymore. “So, Ty, can I stay here?”

“I go by Gavin now. I wanted something with the letters of your nickname in it. Nice, huh?” She grinned at me like no time had passed. Like the conversation between her and Jag hadn’t happened. But something big was going on. Something neither of them would spill. And a smile—even from Ty—wouldn’t make everything better.

“That is nice,” I said. “Did you do it so you could remember me? Because I haven’t heard from you in over three years.”

Her smile faltered. Remorse flashed in her eyes. She took a step toward me. “I know, baby, I couldn’t. Mom had to think I was dead and gone.”

“What? Why?”

Jag stood up to leave, and I threw him a furious look that said
don’t you dare
.

“I gotta get the book, be right back.”

Once Jag left, Ty sprang forward. “Let’s get that tag out.” She grasped my wrist and motioned to someone behind her. Mark entered, holding a black marker.

“No,” I said, recognizing the surgery skin. I tried jerking my arm away, but Ty’s grip was firm.

“It’ll hurt no matter what, but less if you hold still,” she said. “Don’t worry, Mark’s the best.”

The best at what?

She pinned my left arm to the counter. As skillfully as a doctor, Mark drew the marker around my wrist. I squeezed my eyes shut and pounded my foot on the floor as the skin dissolved.

“This one’s advanced,” Mark said, his voice deep and rich. “It’s not a problem though,” he added when he met my startled gaze. “They’ve just gotten better, that’s all.” He took out a piece
of tech that looked like a pair of beefed up nail clippers with white tips. A blue spark jumped the gap between the blades. Shock scissors. He was going to cut me with those?

“Bloody hell,” I whispered. This was going to hurt. A lot. I clenched my jaw.

“It’s okay, Vi,” Mark said. “Tell her, Jake.”

I looked up to see Jake watching me. “Gavin’s probably seen how this turns out. And she’s never wrong.”

Gavin had a slight blush in her face. “Thanks, Jake.”

“Ready?” Mark asked. “I promise it’ll be fine.” I believed him. He looked so serene, so in control.

I nodded. He inserted the shock scissors into my wrist and snipped next to the tiny knot. A charge of tech sparked, burning a hot spot in my chest. A metallic clang echoed in the kitchen, and I saw the tag fall into Jake’s hands before I went blind from all the techtricity.

“Sweet. Goodie tech. A tag, no less. I’ll get right on it.” His voice radiated the excitement that surely showed on his face.

Ty sighed as two sets of footsteps hurried from the room. When my vision cleared, she was holding out a glass of cloudy water. “Drink.”

The solution tasted like rancid vitamins, but I downed it. “What is this?” I noted that the ache in my arm had already faded.

“Skin regenerator. Sorry, the boys only have it in powdered form. You probably got a shot at the facility, right?”

“I’d drink this nasty concoction any day over getting a shot, trust me.”

Ty threw back her head and laughed. The sound awakened happy memories. She bandaged my wrist and drew me into a hug. I relaxed into her, clinging tightly and willing myself not to cry.

“Vi, I’m so glad you’re here. Really. Will you stay?”

I inhaled deeply, finding the familiar scent of coffee with brown sugar. “Can I? Stay here with you?”

She smiled and looked like my mother. “I filed your petitions yesterday, back dating it to last week. Jag’s too.” She studied me like she expected me to spill my guts about Jag. Yeah, that wasn’t going to happen.

“That’s great. Will the petitions be approved?”

“These kinds of things move pretty slow, so I don’t think anyone will notice the lag, especially not with the events of this past week.” Ty didn’t sound worried, didn’t appear concerned about anything. She comforted me the same way she always had—with her confidence. “Jag agrees.”

“What’s your talent?” I asked, trying to steer the conversation away from him.

“Premonitions.” She pushed herself up and sat on the
counter. She wore black soft-soled shoes with bright pink socks. Totally Ty. “I can see things. Usually the future. Sometimes the past, like I did with you. Sometimes I can just see what makes people happy or unhappy, or see the decision they should make that will make their life better, or anything really. I work here, helping the people in Seaside to see more clearly.”

“Sounds nice.” And it did. I glanced toward the stairs, hoping Jag would show. Both brothers stood on the landing, watching me. Jake smiled, and I involuntarily returned the gesture. Alarmed, I turned back to Ty.

“Don’t mind them,” she said. “There are different levels of mind control, and I can help you develop yours. If you stay, you can use your control to help people. That way we can protect you.”

“What do you mean?”