Surrender to Me (28 page)

However, before I can welcome sleep, I hear a light tapping at my
window. Turning my head and listening intently with my ear poised in the
direction of the noise, I don't hear it again, so I disregard it as the wind.
But when it starts again, louder this time, I drop low to my knees and creep
over to the window, like a ninja in rubber duckie pj’s would.

I am holding my breath as I start envisioning who is outside my
window. And those visions are ones made up of monsters, clowns and perverts!  I
reach up hesitantly, and push aside the curtain an inch. Peering out the pane,
I gasp when I see someone standing under my window, wearing a black hood,
covering his face. I let out a yelp and close the curtain, while crouching down
out of sight from the intruder. I am not high up as V’s apartment is not far
above the ground, so my phantom could climb the railing, and creep onto the
balcony easily enough.

Taking a courageous breath, I peek through the edge of the curtain,
hoping my phantom has gone, because I cannot just sit up here, waiting for him
to murder me. But as the moon slips out from under the clouds, I see my phantom
and his cerulean eyes watching me closely from under his hood. Now my heart is
racing for another reason.

What is he doing here at, I look over at the clock, at 1:08 am?

Only one way to find out.

Prying open the window, I give him a small wave. “What are you doing
here?” I whisper, cupping one hand to my mouth, not wanting to wake up V.

He pulls down his hood and I sigh at how handsome he looks,
illuminated under the moonlight.

“Coming to tuck you in,” he replies, giving me a big dimpled smile.

I look down at his hand and notice he has a fistful of stones. That explains
the tapping. Is it totally lame I find him throwing stones at my window in the
middle of the night kinda cute?

Juvenile, but totally cute.

My knees buckle, and I lean over the edge of the windowpane.

“I thought you and Lucas had plans.” I emphasis the word plans, of
course referring to his comment earlier about attending a stripclub.

He runs a hand through his hair, fisting it up into a messy mohawk.
“I’m scared of V,” he replies.

I let out a giggle, but silence it quickly with my hand.

He rewards me with a big smile. “And anyways, there is only one girl
I am interested in seeing naked,” he adds, while I nearly forget to swallow.

Me! Me! Me! I all but jump up and down like a cheerleader on crack.

“Let me in so I can see that girl in all her naked glory. Although,
you are totally rockin’ those rubber duckies,” he smirks, stepping on his tippy
toes to get a better look at my pj’s.

As usual I have Jasper brain, and forgot I was standing in my
childish prints. I try and cover myself and Jasper laughs huskily.

“Can I come in?” he asks, hopeful I will say yes.

Is he kidding? The problem will be getting him to leave after I have
tied him to my bed and made him my prisoner, Kathy Bates style.

“Okay, let me unlock the door,” I reply, beaming as I close the
window quietly.

I bounce down the stairs impatiently, and open the front door for
him. He is standing on the porch with his hands in his pockets, biting his lip.
And I can’t help myself, as I throw myself into him, burying my nose into his
neck.

Luckily he catches me.

He chuckles. “Miss me?”

I pull back, kissing his cheek. “Always.”

We creep up the stairs as silently as possible, which is not very
silent at all, as Jasper has his hands all over my ass as I am climbing the
stairs in front of him.

“Quit it,” I giggle, smacking his hands away, but secretly relishing
in his touches.

As we enter my bedroom, I close the door softly, but spin around
when Jasper surprises me by pushing me up against the wall, trapping me with
his arms on either side of my head.

He searches my face and I suddenly feel uneasy.

“I came here to tell you something,” he confesses.

Instantly my face drops. Oh God, what is he going to tell me?

He chuckles, running his thumb across my lower lip which has fallen
into a frown.

“Something good,” he says when he witnesses me having an internal
panic attack.

I look at him, gesturing with my eyes for him to continue.

“I love you.”

I bang my head against the plaster as his words have just propelled
me backwards. He loves me?

Oh my God! Jasper White... loves me.

Me, Ava Thompson.

I swear I can hear fireworks, but as I feel my heart pounding wildly
against my chest, I know the pounding is coming from within.

Opening my mouth to tell him I love him too, he places his finger
over my lips, shaking his head.

“You tell me when he's gone,” he says, his soft breath caressing my
cheeks.

I look at him confused, and am searching his face for answers.

He places his warm palm on my cheek. “If you tell me you love me
while he's here, and he so much as looks at you the wrong way, I will kill
him.”

Oh, I get it now.

Placing my palm over his and nodding, I look deeply into his eyes. I
will respect his wishes because I understand why he is asking this of me. I
have told him hundreds of times before that I love him, but when I tell him
this time around, it'll be the first and final I love you. Once I express my
love for him, there will be no turning back, and no second chances. And that
suits me just fine.

He leans forward, crushing his lips over mine softly, and I purr in
response, kissing him back willingly. However, this kiss is not filled with
eagerness to consume one another, no, this kiss is filled with love. And this
kiss is my favorite kiss of all.

He pulls away all too quickly and I pout, missing the connection.

“Get some sleep, baby. I’ll see you in the morning in my monkey
suit.”

He called me baby and I can’t stop smiling.

“I thought you came over here to tuck me and see me naked,” I say
cheekily, winking at him.

He groans at the thought. “Don’t tempt me. I will tuck you in, but
seeing you naked is probably not wise. We both know how thin these walls are.”

I blush at the memory of when Jasper and I nearly had our first
kiss, but were interrupted by V and Lucas’ sexathon.

Our hands are entwined as he guides me to the bed, pulling the
covers back for me, and I slip inside the silky sheets and instantly stifle a
yawn with the back of my hand.

Jasper lets out a soft laugh while tucking me in so tightly, it is
cutting off my circulation. I now know what a butterfly feels like trapped in a
cocoon, but I don’t say anything because one, I don’t want to hurt his feelings
and two, I can’t breathe.

“Goodnight Ava,” he whispers, leaning down, kissing my forehead.

“Goodnight Jasper,” I reply sleepily, closing my eyes. 

I feel the bed dip beside me, and I groggily feel myself being
wrapped in Jasper’s arms and smell.

Surely I am dreaming, because this feels too good to be true.

Chapter 24

Pre-Wedding Confessions

T
here are a
thousand needles piercing my brain due to a loud, relentless beeping. Snapping
open an eye, I am ready to kill the thing that has interrupted my sleep.

I look over at the alarm clock. Ugh, 7:10 am, why the hell is my
alarm going off?

Sitting up, reality sets in. Today my best friend is getting
married, and I am so lucky to be sharing this special day with her.

I don’t remember setting my alarm I ponder, while hitting the off
button. Slumping back down onto my pillow and wiping the sleep from my eyes, I
get a waft of the most delicious scent.

Jasper.

The memories of last night come floating back, and I sigh happily.
He must have set the alarm for me before he left. I don’t recall him leaving,
but I am quite certain I didn’t dream him settling in beside me, cuddling me to
sleep. How have I managed to sleep without him all this time, I question
myself. I haven’t, that’s why I have these huge bags under my eyes!

Feeling rested for the first time in forever, I leap out of bed as I
can hear doors banging, and cutlery clinking downstairs. The fresh smell of
coffee has me running down the stairs in a matter of seconds. 

The bride to be is in her pink, flying pigs print dressing gown,
dumping sugar after sugar into her coffee, and she looks nervous.

“You okay?” I ask while pouring myself a cup of coffee, looking at
her cautiously.

V nods, but suddenly bursts into tears, covering her face with her
hands.

I am by her side within seconds.

“What wrong?” I ask, brushing her long hair off her face. 

She continues crying and I pull her in for a hug.

“Cold feet?”

It's the only thing I can think why she would be crying.

She shakes her head, wiping her tears away with the back of her
hand.

“I wish my parents were here, you know.”

Of course she does.

I feel like kicking my own butt for being a total dweeb and not
realizing this sooner. Today is one of the most important days in any girl’s
life.

Rubbing her back, hoping to provide her with some comfort like she
has done for me endless times in the past, I whisper, “I know honey, and I'm so
sorry they aren't. But you have a whole bunch of people who love and adore you.
Not to mention a fiancée who loves you more than life itself. And you have me,”
I add.

That sends V into more fits of tears as she buries her head into my
neck.

“But not for long,” she sobs. “You'll be going back to Singapore in
a couple of days, and I really missed you when we were gone. I don't want you
to go. I know you have to, but you belong here, not there.”

I pull her in tighter, hoping to soothe her, but her words hit home.
 Everything she has said is true. I do belong here. I will be going back
to Singapore in two days’ time, but the question is, do I really want to go?

As she sobs into my shoulder, a lone tear escapes me, as reality
begins to set in. I will be leaving V. My parents. Los Angeles.

And I will be leaving Jasper.

After a while, V isn’t the only one crying her heart out.

*****

V has been such an important part of my life, and also to my
parents. They have treated her like one of their own, and I know my mom isn’t her
real mom, but she's a pretty good substitute. So I called her after V and I
stopped balling like babies as mom’s always know what to do.

“I’m glad I didn’t eat that last burrito,” V wheezes as my mom and I
are tightening the ribbon at the back of her corset.

“Beauty is pain,” I reply while pulling the ribbon through the
bottom eyelet, and tying the remaining ribbon into a bow.

My mom and I stand back to admire our work, and we both have the
same reaction, we gasp.

I bite down on my lip to stop myself from crying, but it's too late
for my mom who is pulling a tissue out of her purse, dabbing at the corner of
her eyes.

V is the most beautiful bride in the world.

Her green eyes are highlighted with liquid eyeliner, applied thinly
on her upper eyelids. Her face has a light cover of foundation, and contrasted
with a bronzer to bring out her cheekbones. Her natural ruby lips are shinning
with a shimmering, clear lip-gloss, and her black hair is piled high above her
head. With her simple, but effective makeup and hairstyle, she looks how Audrey
Hepburn did in Breakfast at Tiffany's.

“Do I look okay?” she asks, as my mom and I are staring at her,
speechless.

My mom bursts into tears, and I hold back my sob, because I know if
I let my tears run free, they will be the big fat ugly ones that leave you
wheezing and breathless. 

“V, you look absolutely beautiful,” I reply, wiping away a runaway
tear.

“Really?” she beams up at me. 

“Really,” I nod.

She jumps up and down and attempts to give me a hug, but her puffy dress
gets in the way.

“Have fun going to the bathroom in that,” I giggle.

She smiles. “That's your job. As Maid of Honour you are to hold up
my dress and wipe where I can’t reach.”

I pull a slightly disgusted face and she cackles. “I’m kidding.
Although, if I have too many champagnes, and need to use the bathroom often, I
may be calling on you for help.”

We both burst out laughing and my mom brings out her camera.

“Smile girls,” she says while holding up the camera, ready for us to
pose.

I look at my best friend, remembering everything we have been
through together.

“I love you.”

She leans forward, kissing me on my cheek.

“Right back at ya kiddo,” she says, while my mother blinds us with
her flash.

*****

We have arrived at the venue early, which of course breaks all
tradition of the bride arriving late. But nothing about my best friend is
traditional per se, and that’s why I love her.

We are sitting in the bridal suite, thirty minutes before the
ceremony is set to commence, and I can tell V is slightly nervous by the way
she is tapping her stilettoed foot incessantly. I walk over to the chaise and
put my hand on her jumpy leg, which instantly stops her leg vibrating.

“Sorry,” she apologizes. “Now I know why the bride is meant to
arrive late. This waiting is killing me,” she says looking out the window which
overlooks the garden she will be married in.

Standing up, I pour us a glass of the French bubbly Sally has kindly
selected for us.

Hopefully some booze will calm her down, or at the very least take
the edge off.

“Cheers,” I smile, handing her a glass.

We both down it quickly, and she looks at me as I stand up to pour
us another glass.

“You look beautiful Ava,” she smiles.

I look down at my dress, fingering the silky material.

“Dominique may be a total pain in the ass, but she knows her way
around a dress.”

Dominique has fixed my indecent neckline, and now it sits perfectly
over my bust. She has shortened the hem so it falls just below the knee, and
brought it in at the waist, so it hugs my middle closely. Going with the whole
wedding colours of red and white, I have a beautiful French manicure on my
fingernails and toes. They of course compliment my bouquet of flaming red and
white roses. My makeup is very similar to V’s, but my hair is curled, and sits
around my face and shoulders. My shoes are red, peep toe kitten heels, which
match the colour of my dress perfectly. Thankfully they are not too high, as I
am very apprehensive walking down the aisle in front of a million pairs of
eyeballs.

“Ava, are you and Jasper back together?” she asks as I hand back her
refiled glass.

I automatically touch my neck where I have tried to cover the faint
red mark my lover left me. I will have to touch it up throughout the day, but
it can’t be seen, unless you’re looking for it.

I shrug. “I really don’t know V. I think so. He came over last night
and told me he loved me,” I smile, thinking of the memory.

“What? When?”

I laugh. “When you were snoring the house down.”

V throws me a cheeky look, but genuinely asks, “I’m serious though.
What’s going to happen when you go back to Singapore?”

And that’s the million dollar question.

“I don’t know,” I sigh, dishearten.

“You should stay here,” V says like it’s that easy.

“I can’t, I’m on a scholarship,” I reply as I take a seat near her.

“So?”

“So. So I can’t just up and leave.”

But as I say the words I think, why the hell can’t I?

“Why not? You’re not a prisoner, you can leave anytime you want. You
tell them you want to finish off your course down here, and if you have to make
up classes or whatever, do it.”

Wow, when put into perspective, V is right. I have completed most of
my core components, and would probably need to make up extra classes, but hey,
it would be so worth it if it meant I could complete my degree in California.

I look at her and smile. “You know, your brilliance never ceases to
amaze me.”

She shrugs my comment off like it’s common knowledge.

“If I do get a transfer back here, it’s got to be for me, not
Jasper. The last time I made a decision to better myself, it turned to total
shit because I wanted to better myself for him.”

V nods, and her veil shifts with her movement.

“I still can’t believe you’re wearing a veil,” I giggle, looking at
it sitting prettily atop her head.

“I still can’t believe you were dating Harper,” she rebukes quickly.

Cringing, she sees my reaction. “What?”

I shake my head, not wanting to talk about this now, or ever.

“Tell me,” V insists. “So help me, if you don’t tell me...” she says
with a look of persistence on her face.

I know she is not going to let this slide, wedding or not, she will
get it out of me.

“Well, we weren’t exactly... dating,” I mumble quickly, fiddling
with the hem of my dress. “We were sorta... engaged,” I say abruptly and
softly, hoping she didn’t hear me.

“YOU WHAT!?”

Okay, she definitely heard me.

“Ava... I..fuck.. I am actually speechless.”

Wow, that can’t be good.

I bravely look at her. “I’m sorry I told you this on your wedding
day.”

Man, I am a shitty friend.

“No, don’t be sorry. I’m glad you told me, because now it gives me
more of an excuse to kick his ass! No one will question the bride when she goes
ape shit at her best friend’s ex fiancée.”

I cover my mouth to hide my smile.

“Don’t worry about it. After today, I will never see him again.”

As I confess my feelings to V, I thought I would feel remorse, but I
don’t. This is a chapter in my life I am more than happy to close, and never
revisit.

“Did you tell Jasper?” V asks, cringing that my answer will be no.

“Of course. I knew from the moment I saw him again that I had made a
terrible mistake.”

“Why did you accept in the first place Ava?” V asks, searching my
face.

Shrugging, I remember Jasper’s horrid goodbye note, the note I am
yet to ask him about, but will do so after today. I need to know why he would
write such a thing, but then act the total opposite when I returned back home.

“It’s a long story V. One we will not be discussing on your wedding
day.”

And as if on cue, we hear the pre wedding music start.

Both V and I look at one another and squeal.

V begins rubbing her hands on her layers of tulle, her dress making
a swishing noise with the action.

“I’m nervous,” she admits.

I comfort her by giving her a sympathetic smile. “Don’t be. I will
be there to hold your hand if you need me.”

She looks over at me, touched by my statement.

“Really?”

I nod sincerely.

“Always.”