Surrendered Hearts (2 page)

Groaning, he shook his head. What was the matter with him? He didn’t usually spend more than a couple minutes in front of the mirror each morning, but Jennifer’s arrival had thrown him for a loop. And he had a feeling his roommate was going to be surprised too.

Wes and Lauren’s wedding wasn’t scheduled until mid-August, more than two months away. Did Jennifer expect to stay with them all summer? He grabbed the can of shaving cream and squirted some in his hand.

Sharing his house with Wes had worked out fine. But where would they put Jennifer? He had three bedrooms, but he used the third as an office, and he’d already shifted a lot of his belongings to the attic to make room for Wes in the second bedroom upstairs. It wouldn’t work. The house was too small for a third person.

Guilt hit him hard. His name might be on the title, but this house belonged to the Lord. That commitment had prompted him to invite Wes to move in after he had been released from prison in the Middle East for his undercover missionary work.

If Jennifer needed a place to stay, he should be willing to do the same for her. But the idea of a woman living under his roof, especially an attractive woman like Jennifer, didn’t seem right.

The memory of another woman with long, honey-blond hair and haunting hazel eyes too much like Jennifer’s flooded his memory.

He glared in the mirror, disgusted with the path his thoughts had taken. Get over it! Kelsey Moore was not the one for you and neither is Jennifer Evans. Let it go. You’ve got a good life with your work and church and friends. You don’t need that kind of trouble.

He pulled a clean navy-blue T-shirt over his head and checked the mirror once more. It looked like he’d lost a few pounds since he’d been sick, but at least his stomach wasn’t giving him fits today. It felt good to be hungry again. He could probably put away a big plate of scrambled eggs and toast with no trouble at all.

He’d whip up some long overdue breakfast and have a talk with Wes. Jennifer could stay for a few days. A week or two tops. Then she’d have to go. No way was he opening his home or heart to someone like her.

Bill walked into the kitchen, and his gaze shifted to the sliding glass door. Wes stood silhouetted by the mid-day sunlight, holding his sister in a tight embrace. The top of Jennifer’s head didn’t even reach Wes’s shoulder, making her look small and vulnerable. Tears slid down her cheeks as she clung to her brother.

Bill stopped in the doorway, taken aback by the scene.

Wes swayed slightly as he patted Jennifer’s back. “Hey, it’s okay to cry. You’ve been through a lot.”

“I feel like such an idiot,” she mumbled then sniffed.

“No. It’s not your fault.” Wes leaned back to look into her face.

“But I didn’t have any renter’s insurance.”

Wes sent her an understanding look. “I know how hard it is to lose everything. When I was arrested they took my computer, everything in my apartment, and my car. I even had to wear borrowed clothes when I was finally released.”

“Oh, Wes, I still can’t believe that happened to you. And all you were trying to do was help people.” Jennifer’s voice sounded shaky, but at least she’d stopped crying.

“It’s okay. Possessions can be replaced. I still have what counts—my faith and my friends.” He turned slightly and nodded to Bill, a look of appreciation in his eyes.

Bill tucked his hands in his jeans pockets. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“It’s okay.” Wes let go of Jennifer and took a step back.

“I was just going to make coffee,” Bill said. “Would you like some?”

Jennifer sent him a hesitant glance and shook her head.

“Not right now, but you go ahead,” Wes said.

Bill took out the coffee, pondering the bond between Wes and his sister. It stirred a strange longing in him. He’d often wondered what it would be like to have a brother or sister who would always be there, someone connected by family ties that couldn’t be broken.

These last few months, working with Wes at the Nature Center and sharing the house, had filled a void in Bill’s life and reminded him of the benefits of deep and lasting friendships. But when summer was over, Wes would marry Lauren and move to Long Meadow. Bill would be on his own again. He pushed that uncomfortable thought away.

Jennifer exhaled a shuddering breath. “Everyone says I should think positive and be thankful I’m alive. I don’t really care about all my stuff, but losing Beau has been. . .”

“I know.” Wes grabbed a few tissues from a box on the end table and handed them to her. “And you need time to grieve all those losses.”

Bill poured water into the coffeemaker, feeling like a first-class heel for his selfish thoughts about sending Jennifer packing. Though he wasn’t clear on the details, she was obviously going through a tough time.

“If I’d known what happened, I’d have been on the first plane to Portland.” Emotion thickened Wes’s voice. “But you’re here now. That’s what matters.” He slipped his arm around his sister’s shoulder and kissed the top of her head.

She smiled up at him through misty eyes. “Thanks, Wes.”

His eyes glistened as Jennifer reached to hug him again. He held her for a moment then cleared his throat. “You must be tired. Why don’t you lie down in my room for a while? We can talk more when you get up.” He walked over to pick up her duffle bag. “Come on. I’ll show you the way,”

“Okay.” She sent Bill another uncertain glance as she followed her brother toward the stairs.

Was she uncomfortable because he’d seen her tears or because she knew her unannounced visit put him in an awkward position? Bill mulled those questions over as he watched the coffee drip. When it finally finished, he filled his mug and added cream and sugar. As he took a sip he considered the look of relief on Jennifer’s face the moment Wes told her she could rest in his room. She was obviously exhausted. Why hadn’t he thought of that?

Wes returned to the kitchen. “That coffee smells good.” He pulled out a dark green mug with the Wild River Resort motto stamped in gold on the side and poured a steaming cup.

Bill took a carton of eggs from the fridge. “Did you know she was coming today?”

Wes shook his head. “I called her in March to tell her Lauren and I were engaged, but her phone was disconnected. So I sent her a letter and invited her to come out for the wedding.”

Bill nodded. That still didn’t explain why she’d arrived in early June for a wedding that wasn’t scheduled until August. He pulled the frying pan from the cabinet.

Wes leaned back against the counter and crossed his arms. “Is it okay with you if she stays with us for a while?”

“Sure. It’s fine.” Bill cracked an egg into the bowl.

Wes continued watching him. “What’s the matter?”

“I guess it would’ve been nice if you’d have asked me first, before you invited her out here.”

A puzzled look settled on his friend’s face. “I wasn’t expecting her to come now, but under the circumstances it makes sense.”

“What do you mean?”

“Sorry. I guess you didn’t hear the first part of her story.”

“Nope.” Bill grabbed a fork from the drawer and stirred his eggs.

“There was an explosion and fire at her apartment in Portland. She lost everything.”

Bill’s hand stilled. “How’d that happen?”

“A construction company cut a gas line. She smelled it and went outside to check things out. The guy she talked to claimed it wasn’t dangerous. He was even smoking.” Wes shook his head, frustration lining his face. “When she walked back toward her apartment, the whole back wall exploded and crashed in. Debris fell all around her, but her only thought was getting back inside to rescue her dog.”

Bill dropped the wire whisk, splattering the egg mixture. “She went back in the apartment after the explosion?” He grabbed a sponge and swiped the counter.

“Yeah. She ran around to the front and went in that way. She couldn’t find her dog, but she wouldn’t give up. She finally passed out from breathing all the smoke. A fireman found her and carried her out.”

Bill tried to swallow away the burning sensation rising in his throat. Here he was worried about the inconvenience of sharing his house, and she’d almost died in a fire. “Sorry. I had no idea.” He shook his head. “Man, she must’ve really loved that dog.”

“Yeah, she’s always been a real animal lover. And since our parents are gone, and I’ve been working on the other side of the world, her dog was like family to her.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “She was in the hospital for a couple weeks for smoke inhalation and burns.”

Bill winced and glanced at the scar on his right hand. He’d burned it on a camping trip last summer. The throbbing pain from that small injury had ruined the weekend for him. “Were her burns bad?”

“She didn’t show me, but I saw a scar on her neck when she hugged me. But that’s not all she’s dealing with. The smoke hurt her lungs and voice, so she’s out of a job.”

“What does she do?” Bill poured the egg mixture in the pan and tossed in some grated cheese.

“She was an actress at a dinner theater in Portland.”

Bill groaned inwardly. He should have known she would be an actress just like his former girlfriend. Of course Kelsey was a drama teacher at a small college in Boston, but what was the difference? Both women liked to be on stage. No doubt Jennifer was just as attached to the big city and bright lights as Kelsey.

“They do Broadway musicals,” Wes continued. “The supporting cast members serve tables and then change into costume for the show. She’s a great dancer, and she has a beautiful voice, but the doctor told her she shouldn’t sing until her lungs and throat have time to rest and heal.”

“So she’s out of work and has nowhere to go?” The muscles in Bill’s shoulders tensed. It looked like he’d be adding another roommate whether he liked it or not.

“That’s right.” Wes grinned and slapped him on the back, seemingly unaware of Bill’s discomfort.

“What are you so happy about?”

“Oh, I wouldn’t wish this kind of trouble on anyone, but I’ve been praying for a chance to be more involved in Jenn’s life for years. And now, here it is.” Wes chuckled as he pulled out a chair and sat down at the table. “You know how it feels when you pray hard for something for a long time, and then God answers, and you’re just so . . . surprised.”

The delight on his friend’s face cut a guilty swath through Bill.

Wes looked up, his expression growing serious. “But this is your house, so it’s up to you.”

Bill focused on stirring the eggs. How could he say no? Wes paid his share of the rent and utilities, and he split the grocery bill even though he often ate at Lauren’s.

“I guess I could send her over to Lauren’s if you don’t want her to stay here.”

Bill shook his head. “No. It’s okay. She can stay. Sounds like she needs a break.”

“She needs more than that. This is our chance to show her how much God loves her and how faith makes a difference in our everyday lives. We can be the Bible she hasn’t read, the Jesus she’s never considered.”

Bill turned off the burner and looked at Wes. “Isn’t that the way we’re supposed to be living anyway?”

Wes grinned, his eyes bright. “Of course, but sharing with Jenn might be it a little more challenging than that.”

“Go on. I’m listening.” Bill scooped the eggs onto his plate and dropped two slices of bread in the toaster.

“She knows where I stand with the Lord, and what I did as a missionary, but she’s pretty closed to discussions about God or faith.”

“How come?”

“I’m not sure. I thought she made a commitment to the Lord when she was young at church camp, but after we lost our parents she had to live with our aunt and uncle, and she stopped going to church. Life’s been hard for her, and now she has to work through all these new losses.”

“Sounds like it won’t be easy to reach her after all that’s happened.”

Wes leaned back and smiled. “You’re probably right, but don’t forget, ‘What’s impossible for man is possible for God.’”

Bill nodded. “Like I always say, you’re a man of great faith.” He kept his tone light, but uncomfortable questions rose in his mind. What part did Wes expect him to play in all this? His faith ran deep, but he wasn’t a missionary like his friend. He was a man of action rather than words. And how could he help Jennifer see her need for God when he wasn’t exactly thrilled that she’d invaded his home?

He bowed his head and thanked the Lord for his food, but he couldn’t ignore the Spirit’s tug on his conscience. Lord, help me change my attitude. I know you ask me to love others as Christ loves me, and that even includes dangerously attractive females who belong back in the city on center stage.

Jennifer rolled over and squinted at the soft light filtering through the window. A chorus of birds sang somewhere nearby. She rubbed her hand across her eyes, trying to focus and make sense of the scene.

What time was it? She glanced at the clock on the nightstand. Ten after eight. Was it morning or evening? The fuzzy sensation in her head and the strangeness of waking up in someone else’s room sent an uneasy shiver through her.