Surrendered Hearts (22 page)

“Wow . . . that’s great.” Julia deserved someone special, but a questions rose in his mind, and his smile faltered. “He’s committed to the Lord, right?”

She rolled her eyes. “Of course. I wouldn’t be interested in him if he wasn’t.”

How many times had he told himself the same thing? But his feelings for Jenn ran deep even though her faith seemed like a small, flickering flame. But being attracted to someone and even caring for them deeply didn’t mean you were right for each other.

Frowning, he shook off his conflicting thoughts. He’d been praying for Jenn for months, they all had. Now she was coming to church consistently. That had to be a good sign. God must be working in her heart. If only he could talk to her and find out what she was thinking, but it didn’t look like this was a good time. Phillip hovered next to her as she continued talking to Tilley and her friends.

“Bill?”

He turned back to Julia. “Sorry, I missed that.”

“I said, I’d offer to go with you to pick up Wes and Lauren, but I’ve got to help my dad this afternoon.”

His words caught in his throat as Jenn and Phillip walked up the aisle toward them. She looked amazing in a soft-green dress. But it wasn’t her clothes that held his attention, it was the way her eyes lit up when she saw him.

A smile bloomed on her lips. “Hi, Bill.”

He nodded and glanced away, his throat so tight he wasn’t sure if he could speak.

Julia gave her a quick hug and sent a curious glance at Phillip. Jenn introduced him, only offering his name.

“I’m Jenn’s fiancé from Oregon,” Phillip added.

Julia’s eyes widened for a split second, then she reached out and shook his hand. “I’m Julia Berkley. It’s nice to meet you.” As she stepped back, she shot Bill a questioning glance.

He gripped his Bible and glared at Phillip.

Tilley stepped into their circle. “Jenn, would you mind picking up Toby from his Sunday school class? I need to catch Martha Hopkins before she leaves.”

“Okay.” Jenn hesitated, her gaze darting from Phillip to Bill. “I’ll be right back.”

“I have to run, too,” Julia said, taking Jenn’s arm.  “I’ve got an open house in West Harmon at one.”

Jenn looked over her shoulder at Bill once more before she disappeared into the foyer.

Phillip rocked back on his heels, a smug smile lifting one side of his mouth. “I’d say it’s good to see you again, but we’re in church, so I shouldn’t lie.”

Bill shook his head. “You don’t pull any punches do you?”

“Why should I? You deserve to know the truth.”

“What?” He snorted. “That you don’t like me?”

“No, that Jenn and I are leaving on Monday.”

Bill clenched his fists. “I don’t believe that.”

“It doesn’t matter what you believe. She’s flying out with me tomorrow night.”

“She said she’d talk to Wes and Lauren first.”

“Of course.” He lifted his brows. “We want to personally invite them to our wedding.”

He grabbed hold of Phillip’s arm. “I know you walked out on Jenn after you saw her burns.” Phillip tried to pull away, but Bill clamped on tighter. “You hurt her like that again, and you’ll have to answer to me.”

Phillip jerked his arm free. “That will be a little difficult since Jenn and I will be in Oregon and you’ll be here . . . or will it be North Carolina?” He brushed the wrinkles on his shirtsleeve.

“It doesn’t matter where I go. If Jenn needs me, she can call, and I’ll be there.”

“Well, don’t hold your breath. She won’t be calling.”

“I’ll be in touch with her. You can count on it. So don’t think you can pull anything like that again.”

Phillip’s face darkened. “What happens between Jenn and me is none of your business. You have no claim on her.”

The truth came crashing down on Bill like a crushing avalanche, pushing the air from his lungs.

Phillip was right. He couldn’t protect Jenn no matter how much he wanted to.

“Give it up, Morgan.” Phillip’s smug smile returned. “She’s marrying me.”

He reeled back. This was his fault. He had forfeited his right to a relationship with Jenn when he decided not to talk about his faith or his feelings for her. That choice had cost him the woman that he loved. He struggled to pull in a breath, then turned and strode out of the church.

Jenn clicked her seatbelt and scanned the church parking lot. Only a few vehicles remained, and Bill’s truck wasn’t one of them. Disappointment tugged at her heart. She’d hoped to find out if he’d accepted the job in North Carolina before she made her decision. It shouldn’t matter. He’d made it clear he wasn’t interested in a future with her. But for some reason she didn’t feel right moving ahead without knowing his plans.

She glanced across at Phillip, and a queasy feeling hit her empty stomach. They planned to have lunch at the Green Mountain Café before they took a drive, but Jenn wasn’t sure she’d be able to eat anything the way she felt now. She couldn’t really blame Phillip. She was the one whose head and heart were pulling her in two different directions, tossing her poor stomach back and forth between them.

Mentally, she shook herself. She had to stop thinking about Bill and make an effort to connect with Phillip. He was the one who had traveled all the way across the country to find her and renew their relationship. “So how did you like the service?”

He started the car and cranked the air conditioning on full blast. “They ought to cool things off in there if they expect people to come to services in the summer.”

“It was pretty warm, but what did you think of pastor Dan’s teaching?”

Phillip looked over his shoulder as he backed out of the parking space. “I had a hard time following him. I’m not sure what he was trying to say.”

She sighed, barely able to hide her frustration. Why couldn’t Phillip have at least tried to listen? His flirtatious teasing had embarrassed her and distracted everyone around them. When she realized Bill was sitting a few rows behind them, watching it all, she’d wanted to crawl under the pew and disappear.

Jenn forced her attention back to Phillip as he pulled out of the parking lot and sped down the winding two-lane road. They caught up with a slow-moving truck. Phillip muttered and swerved over the double yellow line to pass. A silver van approached in the oncoming lane.

“Look out!” Jenn gasped and gripped the edge of her seat as they hurtled past the truck and swerved into their lane just in time to avoid a collision with the van. “Would you please slow down?”

He shot her an irritated glance, but he eased back on the gas. Jenn released her death grip, but her stomach stayed in a tight knot.

Phillip’s driving wasn’t the only thing bothering her. Personality differences and character issues she’d never noticed before now seemed to stick out like noxious weeds in a lovely garden. How could he have changed so much in five months?

Closing her eyes, she lay back against the headrest. Father, I’m not sure what to do. Please make it clear to me.

Portions of the sermon floated through her mind, reminding her God would never leave her or forsake her . . . He would provide everything she truly needed . . . and He loved her with an everlasting love. A slow building sense of peace flowed through her, calming her heart and mind.

She was the one who had changed.

She was a different person than the grieving, scarred woman who had arrived on Bill’s doorstep almost four months ago. Her scars hadn’t faded, but they didn’t hold the same power over her anymore.

Wonder filled her as that realization settled in her heart. How had it happened? The answer came swiftly, tightening her throat with emotion. Bill’s friendship and acceptance had given her the courage to stop hiding her scars, and that had freed her to accept the changes in her life and her appearance. His caring example had helped her open her heart to God, and that was bringing the healing she’d longed for.

Memories of Bill’s fierce response to Phillip and his warning against returning to Oregon with him rose in her mind, stirring up more doubts.

Opening her eyes, she turned to Phillip. A shiver traveled through her as she considered what she was about to say, but it was the only choice that made sense.

“Phillip?”

He turned to her.

“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. I’m not comfortable with the idea of us living together, and I can’t afford to get my own apartment, so I don’t—”

Phillip reached across and took her hand. “Please, don’t let a lack of money make this decision for you.”

“I have to think about it. I have less than two-hundred dollars in my bank account.”

He smiled and squeezed her hand. “That’s all going to change very soon.”

A warning flashed through her, and she slipped her hand out of his. “What do you mean?”

“I was going to wait until we got back to Oregon to talk to you about this.” He sent her a sheepish grin.

Apprehension tightened her stomach as he pulled to the side of the road and turned off the car.

He shifted in his seat and faced her. “I met with a personal injury lawyer in Portland. He’s been working on your case for a couple months. He’s sure we can sue the construction company and win several hundred thousand, maybe even a million.”

Her jaw dropped. “You talked to a lawyer without me?”

“I had to, darling. You weren’t there, and you have to get moving on cases like this so you don’t miss your window of opportunity.”

Confusion swirled through her. “But I don’t know if I want to sue someone.”

“Of course you do.” He reached for her hand again and wrapped his fingers tightly around hers. “Don’t worry. It’s not like you’re suing an individual. No one is going to go bankrupt or anything like that. It’s a business. They have insurance to cover this kind of thing. You’d just be getting what you deserve.” His eyes glowed with excitement. “Think of it, Jenn. We could buy a house, travel, do whatever we want. We’d be set for life.” Cocking his head, he lifted one brow. “Maybe we could even start our own theater company.”

She grimaced and pulled her hand away. “With my money.”

“Yes, of course it’s your money, darling.” A worried frown creased his forehead.

“But if we get married, it would be your money too, right?”

“Well . . . yes. Everything I have would be yours, and whatever you have would be mine.” He released a nervous chuckle. “That’s the way it works when you’re married. You combine all your assets.”

She shook her head. “I’m not comfortable with that.”

He pulled back, scowling. “With what? Sharing everything with me?”

“No, with going to court and suing the construction company.”

He let loose an exasperated huff. “Jenn, you lost everything you owned. You suffered tremendously. Someone should pay for that.”

“How would you know?” She leveled her cool gaze at him. “You weren’t there.”

A hint of panic flickered in his eyes, but he quickly doused it and leaned toward her. “I saw your burns the night of the fire, Jenn. They’re . . . extensive. The lawyer said we could sue for disfigurement, pain, suffering, loss of wages, and maybe more.”

A hot irritation surged through her. Who did he think he was, contacting a lawyer and making those kinds of decisions for her? She lifted her chin. “What if I won’t sue them?”

“But this is our chance to get everything we’ve ever wanted. You can’t throw it all away!”

The sick feeling in her stomach rose and burned her throat. It was all clear to her now. He’d searched for her because of the money.

“I’ve never believed being rich guarantees happiness.” Conviction flowed through her, strengthening her words. “And it won’t help at all if you’re married to the wrong person.”

His face darkened. “Are you saying you don’t want to marry me?”

A shiver raced up her back. She would not be intimidated by him or anyone else. Raising her chin, she met the challenge in his eyes. “Yes, that’s what I’m saying.”

“But getting married was your idea,” he insisted.

“That was before . . . other things are more important to me now.”

He scowled at her. “Like what?”

“Like having a life that has meaning and purpose.”

“And how do you intend to find that?” His mocking tone grated on her.

She didn’t know if he really wanted an explanation, but she sent off a quick prayer, asking he would at least try to understand. “For a long time I was angry with God for all the painful things that happened to me. I thought saying I didn’t believe in Him would somehow keep anything else bad from happening. But that only made me more miserable, because deep inside I knew He existed, and He wanted me to come back to Him.”

Phillip shook his head. “What has that got to do with a meaningful life?”

She groaned inwardly, but pressed on determined to try her best to make it clear. Maybe God would use her to help Phillip see how important faith could be in his life.

“I’ve met people here who’ve shown me how to know God in a personal way and how to grow stronger in my faith. That’s important to me. And that’s what I want, even more than a lot of money, or marriage, or a lead role in a play, or anything else.”