Surreptitious (London) (7 page)

He picked me up again and placed me on the desk, far more tenderly than he had on the chair, pushed my thighs apart which made my breath hitch and he stepped between them so that I didn’t have a choice but to either gawk at his chest a little more or tilt my head back to look in his eyes. I chose the latter because it seemed like the safer option to calm the stifling sexual tension surrounding us.

Did it work? Nope.

He placed his hands on either side of me at the desk so that his arms were holding me in place and I had to arch my back to look at him. He licked along my bottom lip and groaned whilst I was rooted in place. I couldn’t remember what I was doing there, I couldn’t remember why I was pissed off... fuck, I couldn’t even remember my own name!

He looked into my eyes for a few beats and started to lower his head again when my phone vibrated in my pocket and I was instantly mortified at the situation I was in.
How the fuck does he do this to me?!
I exaggerated my movements, trying to get my phone out from my back pocket hoping he’d take the hint and step back but seeing as I was already aware that he did exactly what he wanted and when he wanted to do it, I was neither surprised nor pleased when he ignored me and stayed exactly where he was. I could feel him hard against me and my voice broke when I answered the phone.

“He...” I cleared my throat and tried again...”Hello?” I could barely hear the person on the other end of the phone speaking over the noise of the club downstairs but I vaguely registered Harper screeching...

“WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?! YOU’VE BEEN GONE AGES AND WE’VE BEEN LOOKING ALL OVER FOR YOU!! I SWEAR TO GOD GIRL...AFTER WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU LAST WEEK, THIS IS
NOT
COOL.”

“Where are you now?” She told me what room she was in and I told her I’d meet them there in five minutes but Jax
still didn’t move.

“Move.” His body turned to stone against mine but he didn’t move so I repeated my demand.

“Move...
please.
” He frowned down and me and asked me why and I laid it all out for him.

“Why? Well, let’s see shall we? I was innocently waiting for a drink downstairs when I struck up a conversation with the girl next to me who proceeded to inform me about just how hot you are, and exactly how easy, and how regularly you get girls. They ‘flock to you’ apparently. I won’t be a pawn in your stupid games Jax. Go downstairs, pick a girl...hell...pick a few and let them entertain you for a while ok? Just back the fuck off away from me yeah? I’m not one of those girls.” Since I didn’t have anything else to say to him, I shoved him away from me and strutted out of the room. It’s safe to say that I didn’t stay much longer after that!

Jackson

What the fuck?! She was primed, she was panting and she was hot as fuck, then the phone rings and I get a mouthful of abuse about how many girls I’ve been with.

I’m not a saint, far from it in many ways, but the fuckin’ rumours are ridiculous! Everywhere I’ve lived before, be it Manchester, Birmingham, Norwich and now London, the rumours always start. Yeah ok, so if a girl wants it, and I want her, I’ll fuck her. Big deal! But a few at one time? Nah, not my style. I like to take my time, work them up, make them
ache
for it. Not get tangled up in a mass of limbs, whereby nobody has a clue what fuckin’ part they’re supposed to be doing!

I assumed that there was probably at least fifty girls downstairs who’ve claimed to have slept with me and haven’t. I don’t get it, why lie?! Once, in Manchester, there was a cat-fight that broke out between FOUR different girls, over me! The worst part? I hadn’t been with a single one of them!

Do I care that they make these things up? Not usually.

But when it causes issues between me and the girl I actually do want? No, not happening.

I worked for another two hours, wondering how I should fix what went wrong with Taylor. I knew I’d need some help getting things back on track so I swallowed my pride...briefly...grabbed my phone and text Harper.

Tay heard some shit tonight that

is NOT true. What u reckon I should do?

Nothing. I got nothing. She didn’t respond. I think that was worse than bitchin’ at me considering I didn’t know what she was thinking, if she was planning, if she was with Taylor...nothing.

I was pissed off, but then, I didn’t think I really had the right to be considering I’ve never, not once, corrected people’s opinions and lies about it. I never cared enough, it’s all stupid games and frankly, let them think what they want. Everyone can...everyone except Taylor.

By the time I fell asleep that night, I still hadn’t received a text from Harper, I had no clue how to change things by myself because Taylor was just so damn complicated, and I was more frustrated than ever.

Waking up early the next morning, I frowned thinking I could really have done with an extra few hours sleep but once I’m awake...I’m awake! I grabbed my phone to check the time but noticed I had two missed calls and two texts, all from Harper. I panicked thinking something had happened, but then I read her texts and cursed out loud.

Promise me it’s not true jax.

I’ll take it that your silence says it all.

Why would I help you with Taylor, when you

treat girls like dogs?!

I rang her three times, go no answer and growled deep in my throat in frustration. However on the fourth attempt, she answered with...

“What?” She snapped.

“Harper, you text me at me at four A.M!! I only stayed at work until one...I wasn’t even awake to defend myself!” She didn’t reply straight away so I assumed she was thinking it through.

“Okay...” She started slowly...”say I believe that these rumours aren’t true, which by the way, you haven’t told me yet. It’s a tricky situation. It won’t be easy any way that you do things.”

“Um, I know that Harper, which is why I text you! I never said I was a saint, but I’ll say,
most
of it, is not true! And even it was, I don’t chase women. Taylor’s different.”

“Do
not
make me regret this Jackson...” I told her I wouldn’t and she gave me her idea.

“So right, if you barge over to her place, demand she listen to you, deny everything and do your usual cocky smirk. Likelihood is, she’ll punch you in the face, slam the door on you and never speak to you again. So I’m thinking...ignore it. Just turn up somewhere, take her out, treat her...but don’t go overboard, and literally just do not mention it at all. It’ll throw her off her game.”

Genius. The girl is a genius.

Chapter eleven

Taylor

Since I hadn’t come home drunk the night before and jerk-face ruined my night for me. I was up and ready for my jog at half nine the following morning. I ran for a three miles before stopping at Harper and Jase’s flat so they could make me breakfast! What was meant to be a half an hour drop-in, ended up being an all-day junk-food-fest. We ate shit, we talked shit and we watched shit on TV until I peered out the window to see it was starting to get dark out.

Jase offered to walk me home but since I was still wearing my running gear and I had consumed my body-weight in chocolate I told him I was just gonna run it.

I was looking forward to opening my door, kicking off my shoes and sitting on the sofa with my duvet over me when I got back. But when unlocked my door, I stopped in my tracks and stared at the sight before me. Jax sat on my couch with his feet up on my coffee table watching re-runs of some American show. I just stood there and stared at him until he turned and a beautiful smile spread across his face when he seen me.

Butterflies.

He opened his mouth to speak but then closed it again and looked down at my outfit which consisted of a pair of tight, hip hugging black joggers, a sports vest, skin tight, with the straps crossed at the back, so the front was pulled even tighter across my chest. It really did give me great cleavage! And running trainers.

“Damn baby girl, I swear you look more beautiful every time I see you. I can’t decided which is better, the red dress, or that?! I don’t even know how you make that look half as good as you do! Come sit down, I’ve bought you more wine.” He patted the seat next to him and I walked woodenly over to the sofa. He pulled me down next to him, put his arm around me and rested my head on his shoulder before kissing my hair which felt TOO good and turning back to the TV.

“Can I just ask, what the hell you are doing here?!” I requested

“Baby girl, here’s the thing I been playing the game with you all week and today I sat at home wondering what I should send you next when I figured, I’m twenty-eight. I don’t need to keep pussy-footing around you like a teenage boy and I wanted to give you...me. So I did. The shit you said last night, it’s bullshit, It’s rumours, 99% of most the shit people say about me ain’t true. So yeah, I’m here to give you me!”

“You gave me...you?! That doesn’t even make sense! I don’t want you...And could you
please
stop breaking into to my home!?” He muted the TV and turned his body so that his face was mere inches from mine before answering.

“No. I won’t stop, because doing that it is the only way I’ve gotten you to talk to me all week and I LIKE talking to you. I’ve decided that you’re gonna be my girl, all in. I wanna walk down the road with your hand in mine, I wanna meet your parents, I wanna wake up in the morning with a smile on my face because I know yours is the first face I’m gonna see, I wanna go to sleep at night holding your body snug against mine and I know deep down you want the same things. So I’m here to make that happen.” I stiffened at the mention of him meeting my parents, he noticed straight away and frowned at me so I whispered...

“I don’t have parents anymore.”

“Why, what happened?” He didn’t seem nosey, just genuinely curious and I didn’t see the harm in telling him the story, so I laid it all out for him. The entire shitty tale. He had gone slightly pale by the time I finished and there were shadows in his eyes but since it wasn’t a pretty story, I didn’t pay much attention before I asked...

“What about yours? What are your parents like?” I forgot what happened when I mentioned his parents before but it all came rushing back when his eyes glazed over and turned almost glacial. He tensed his jaw and ground his teeth back and forth before blowing out a long breath and replying.

“Ah, my um
parents
are gone too. Died in a house fire about six years ago. We weren’t close, and when I say that, I mean I despised them with every fibre of my being. It’s not that same as your story. Dave and Tracey were, well...they were not good people. Them dying, it gave my brothers a chance to live the life I was building, a good life, a
clean
life, so I was awarded custody. I took it, didn’t go to their funerals, never looked back. I’m glad they’re dead.”

My mouth was hanging open and I was struggling to understand what his parents must have done to make him hate them so much but he’d already turned back to the TV and turned up the volume so I assumed question time was over.

I don’t know how it happened, I don’t know why I
let
it happen but some time later I opened my eyes to see that the TV was still on, but the volume was turned down and I had my head resting on Jax’s chest. My body was lying mostly on top of his with my leg entangled between his and I had my arm thrown across his chest. I could feel his slow, even breathing beneath me, so instead of doing the sensible thing, the thing I should have done and jumping up, kicking him in the balls and screaming at him to get out of my home. I reached for the remote control, pressed the standby button, rested my head back down on his chest and fell back to sleep.
Smart move Taylor. Really smart move.

Chapter twelve

Taylor

The following morning I awoke and looked around feeling seriously confused. I knew I’d fallen asleep on the sofa,
with Jax
, but I woke lying on my side in my bed. I sat up and tried to remember moving to the bedroom but my mind was blank, this was mainly because for the second time now, I had slept in the same place as Jax, and he had
changed my clothes!!
I reached for my phone before realising that I didn’t take myself to bed so it was still out in the lounge. 

When I got to my phone I noticed there was a folded piece of paper placed underneath, so I opened it and my heart skipped a beat.

Baby girl,

Had to go sort some things at the club.

Gutted that I couldn’t be with you when you woke.

Falling asleep with you and waking with your body pressed

against mine was one of the best things that

I’ve ever done.

I’ll call you later, wanna take you out.

Best night ever, baby girl.

Jax.

Xxx

Oh shit. He thinks he’s in! He thinks I’m his girl. How the hell...how the
fuck
had I let that happen?! I needed to shut him down, and fast. So I opened the contacts in my phone and dialled a number I figured I’d never phone.

“Hello?”

“Hey Josh, it’s um...Taylor. I was just wondering, if your offer to um...take me out was still on the table?” He didn’t say anything for a few seconds and my heart was in my throat thinking maybe this plan wouldn’t work when he responded.

“Wow, um yeah...sure...of course. Told you I’d love to take you out. I’m free tomorrow if you want to do something?”
YES!!

“That’d be great! Do you want me to meet you somewhere or...?” I left the options open to him and he said

“Don’t be ridiculous babe. I’ll pick you up at seven okay? Give me your address and I’ll meet you there.”

I rattled off my address to him, we said our goodbyes and he hung up. I stared at my phone for a few seconds trying to calm the twinges of guilt I was feeling.

Did I want to go out with Josh? Nope.

Was it fair of me to use him that way? Nope

...Did I have a choice?! NOPE.

Josh was in a few of my classes at university, he was nice enough but he was pale, skinny and he was seriously geeky but carried himself with a forced swagger because his daddy was loaded and he knew that he had a good job waiting for him when he finished his degree.

He’d asked me out more than once but seeing as I refused to date...and I really wouldn’t be breaking that rule for him...I always said no. I knew it was wrong to lead him on but I couldn’t think of any other way to get rid of Jax. Jax was dangerous, in more ways than one; he was a danger to my heart, my carefully constructed shield and basically my whole ‘Ice’ facade. But the more time I spent with him, the more I was beginning to sense that he was just...dangerous. He was cheeky, funny and he just seemed to draw the attention of the whole room when he walked in, but there were shadows in his eyes, an underlying pain/fear/anger...
something.
I couldn’t figure out what it was, which was another reason I needed to stay away from him and I knew I had no chance of doing that until
he
decided to want nothing to do with
me
.

Seeing as plan A was just to speak to him like a rational human being and
tell
him I wasn’t interested and that worked ...in no way whatsoever! It didn’t work because he knew I was lying...so I needed to step up my game. Commence plan B...my ‘date with another guy’ plan. I picked Josh because he wasn’t dangerous, definitely not to my heart and even less so in general. Cruel? Maybe. But he’ll get over it.

I spent the morning cleaning the whole apartment whilst studiously ignoring the incessant bleeping from my phone screaming at me that I had unread messages. Okay, so it wasn’t
screaming
at me but that’s how it felt because I knew who they were from and I knew I couldn’t reply. I fought the urge to read them for all of three hours, however, as soon as I sat down and realised I had nothing else left to occupy my mind – I reached straight for the phone.

I had four messages, one from Harper:

WTF? Ur goin on a date?!

WITH BLOODY JOSHUA HOLDEN?!

I do not know what’s going through that head of yours girl.

Oh boy! Good news sure travels fast! He told everyone at university that he’d got a date with me?...Told you he was seriously geeky!!

I didn’t respond and she wouldn’t expect me to. She knows me too well and she’ll see through my plan straight away. I despised that! The other three messages were sent at different times throughout the morning and were all from Jax.

Mornin baby gir
l


Hope you found my note.

Call you later xxx

Hey, are you ok? Xx

Tay? Haven’t heard from you yet...

Everything ok? I’ll call you soon. Xx

Well...shit. At least after my date, he’d hopefully get the message. I ignored all of the texts and decided to go for a run, when there was an incessant banging on my front door. I opened it to find that Jax, with his fist still raised as though he was going to knock again, was standing on the other side. I opened my mouth to ask him why he was there when he scooped me up, closed my door and strode towards the elevator.

Once inside, I recovered from the shock of being manhandle out of my apartment and screeched at him to put me down. I realised immediately that my efforts were futile.
Dickhead.
So I lay back, and hung on for the ride.

We were driving along the streets of London and I was still silently fuming when he declared, “We’re gonna try something you’ve never done before.”

I jumped at the interruption to the silence and replied, “Jax, you can’t keep bloody kidnapping me! I could have been busy!”

“You could have...but you weren’t! One last thing I promise. Then I’ll never hijack your day again unless you ask me nicely...well...maybe just
once
more after this!” He promised and then winked, making me believe him even less.

“Urgh, fine! So what’re we doing this time then?”

“Surprise babe! You’ll find out soon enough!”

I let him have this play even though I hated surprises. I hated them because they were obviously, unpredictable and you had to put your trust, even if it was just a little bit, in someone else. I paid attention to my surroundings as we drove so I could work out where we were going but I was still shocked when he clicked the indicator and swerved into Hyde park.

“You’re taking me to Hyde park?!” I asked and he grinned at me, then nodded.

He jumped out of the car and rounded the hood to open my door before grabbing my hand and pulling my up with him. As we headed across the wet grass, I caught sight of a white marquee and what just looked like a huge cordoned off area ahead and looked at Jax for him to explain but he didn’t say a word, just kept walking.

Further across the field, I realised exactly what we were there for, planted my heels in the grass and refused to go any further. Jax sighed and turned to me, reaching up with his free hand and ran his thumb across my cheek.

“Baby girl, it’s fun, it’s unstable, it’s exhilarating and it’s unpredictable. It’s everything you need and everything you avoid. We’re doing this.”

His face soft but his voice was firm and held a hint of determination and right then and there I swore I could’ve killed Harper Marie. I knew she’d be behind his idea to take me there because only she and Jase knew about my ridiculous fear.

“I...um...Jax I don’t think I
can
do this!” I explained and he immediately tensed his jaw, twisted his neck to look at the view and turned back to me and whispered in my ear, requesting the impossible.

“
Trust
me.”
Ahh fuck!!

I held his eyes for a few beats and then tentatively nodded my head once. I didn’t trust him, but I didn’t trust the determination in his eyes either, so I chose the safer option. He took my nod as gospel and almost ran the rest of the distance to the marquee.

I hesitated at the front of the queue but Jax pushed me forward gently, paid for out tickets and our skates and dragged me back outside. I changed my shoes for my skates and clung to Jackson’s arm for support. I stood at the entrance to the rink, let Jax slide out first, then cautiously put one foot in, added the other and joined him on the ice.

Yep, you got it...I was
petrified
of ice-skating. I’d never been in my life, my dad always said it wasn’t safe, so my mum never took me and I wasn’t allowed to go with my friends, hence, possibly a slightly irrational fear of the entire thing. As if he could sense me over thinking things, Jax held both my hands, skated backwards and pulled me with him towards a space on the edge of the rink. He let go of my hands when I could hold on to the side and place his hands on either side of my face before promising quietly, “I’ll protect you, I promise you’ll be ok...I won’t let go I swear.”

He pushed off the side but caught my hands again and continued skating backwards leading me. Not a big deal for most, a freaking HUGE deal for me. Not only was I facing one of my fears, yes ok I know I have a lot of them really, but still, I was doing it all the same and also, I knew if he let go of my hands then I’d likely just fall over so for the first time in five years, I put my faith, my trust...wholly in another person’s hands. Literally and figuratively.
Wow.

He was freaking beaming down at me and I couldn’t help but throw him a small smile back. I was sure his fingers must be hurting from the iron-cast grip I had on them so I eased up slightly, but not much and let him glide us across the ice. We rounded the entire rink twice before he led us to the edge again and exclaimed, “I told you that you could do it! I’m so proud of you baby girl! What do you think?” I thought about his question and with sudden, unwelcome, clarity...
fuck...
I realised I really was enjoying myself. It was freeing, and I really wanted to carry on.

“I think, yeah I think...it’s really
really
great!!” I hesitated, then asked, “Do you think...ahh...would I be able to...try it by myself?” If he was shocked by my question, he didn’t show it, he just swung a hand out to the side and indicated for me to go ahead but reminded me, “I’ll always be right next to you baby girl.”

I slowly edged my skate forward and let go of the wall. I wobbled a bit almost immediately and reached out to grab hold of Jax, he steadied me, then let me go again so I could keep trying. I’d almost made it to the end of the rink when a guy who was skating backwards and attempting ‘tricks’ ploughed into me. I was winded, shoved aside and I tried to reach for Jax at the last minute but couldn’t get to him in time. I lost my feet from beneath me, fell backwards and smacked my head on the ice.
Holy mother of fuck that hurt.
My vision blurred for a few seconds and when it cleared, I could see my Mr Gorgeous knelt beside me looking stricken.

“Baby girl...shit...are you okay? Can you stand?” I nodded and then winced.
Note to self: Do not move head after smashing it on ice!

He pulled me up slowly, squeezed me into his chest and spoke at the top of my head.

“Shit I’m so sorry baby girl, told you, fuckin’
promised
you that you’d be okay and then I let
that
happen to you?...
fuck.”

I didn’t understand why he was blaming himself but before I realised we were even moving, he sat me down gently on a bench and knelt down between my legs. He tenderly ran his fingers through my hair but I sucked in a breath and flinched when he came into contact with the bump on the back of my head. He scowled and then pushed to his feet, told me to stay where I was, not that I was in any fit state to move right then, he tore off his skates and marched, in his socks, to the edge of the rink where the guy who’d crashed into was staring at me looking pale and guilty.

I thought maybe Jax was going to tell him that I was okay, but he stalked straight up to him, clenched his fist, drew back his elbow an blasted him straight across the face. I gasped and shot up, swayed, but kept going regardless, I screamed at him to stop hitting the guy and he paused in his attack, breathing heavily he grabbed the guy by his collar and pulled him up from the floor. He set him on his feet and spat, “Watch where you’re fucking going in future. You could of god damn killed
my
fucking girl...and all because you were too busy being a fucking prissy
girl
, twirling around on the ice like it made you look good. We’ll it fucking didn’t, and now your face matches your performance.
Fucked.
Learn your fucking lesson. Dumb fuck.” 
That’s a lot of fucks right there.
And with that, he stalked over to the desk to swap our skates back.