Survivor (12 page)

‘And you should get some sleep, my
girl, while she’s gone. Or you’ll become ill too,’ he said to
Mariette before Stella was taken away on a stretcher.

As soon as Mariette had stripped off
Stella’s soiled sheets, remade her bed and tidied up, she climbed into her own
bunk gratefully.

Moments later, the sound of someone
coming into the cabin woke her. But it was dark, so she must have slept for a good
few hours.

‘Who is it?’ she asked.

‘It’s me, Morgan.’

Mariette snapped on the light. ‘Is
Stella worse?’ she asked.

‘No, she’s a lot better now
they’ve got some fluids into her. But I’m off duty now, and I hoped
you’d be pleased to see me.’

‘I am. But I don’t want you
getting into trouble,’ she said. She was a bit shocked that he would take such
a risk – the two stewards who looked after the passengers on this level were older
men, and not the kind to turn a blind eye to another member of the crew flouting the
rules.

‘You’re worth the
risk,’ he said, leaning on to her bunk to kiss her. ‘Anyway, as long as
I leave at first light no one will be any the wiser. So can I stay?’

She hesitated for just a moment. But as
there had been so many nights when she’d lain in her bunk imagining him with
her, how could she turn him away now?

‘We don’t have to do
anything, if you don’t want to,’ he said, and he stripped off his white
jacket, shirt and trousers. ‘I only want to hold you.’

But the moment
he slid into the bunk, gathered her into his arms and she felt his bare chest
against her, she knew she was going to break the vow she’d made back in New
Zealand to never have sex again until she was married.

He kissed her so tenderly, and when he
stripped off her nightdress and began sucking at her nipples, she wanted him far too
much to stop him.

She realized as Morgan caressed, stroked
and kissed her that this was what lovemaking was supposed to be like, and it bore no
similarity to the animal-like rutting she’d had with Sam. She was entirely
lost in the delicacy of his touch, loving the way his fingers explored her secret
places, rubbing her in a way that sent spasms of delicious sensation throughout her
body.

The bunk was so narrow there was no room
to move around, yet somehow he managed to put her in positions that made it easier
for him to lick and suck at her. She could hardly believe that a man would put his
tongue into her sex, or that it could be so thrilling. An orgasm erupted within her
under his tongue, and she must have cried out because he put one hand over her
mouth.

‘You taste wonderful,’ he
whispered. ‘And I’m going to do it to you again and again because I love
hearing you moan.’

‘I must go now,’ Morgan
whispered, much later. ‘Look, it’s getting light!’

Mariette glanced at the porthole and saw
that he was right. Instead of a circle of pitch darkness, it was now grey. They
hadn’t slept at all; in between bouts of long lovemaking they had cuddled and
talked in whispers. It had been wonderful, and Mariette sensed that he was as
reluctant to leave her as she was to see him go.

‘I doubt we’ll get another
chance like this,’ he said as he
slid out of her arms and on to the floor to dress.
‘And we must be careful no one finds out about us. I’m not so worried
for me and my job. But if it gets to one of the officers’ ears, they might
contact your uncle.’

A tremor of fear ran through her.
‘They wouldn’t do that, surely?’

Morgan pulled a face. ‘It has been
known, when young girls are travelling alone. They feel they have a moral
duty.’

‘But will I see you again in
England?’ she asked nervously, leaning over the side of the bunk and ruffling
his hair. She had a feeling he was trying to say this was the end.

‘I’ve got to be honest,
Mari,’ he said, taking her hand and kissing her fingers. ‘I can’t
promise anything right now because of the job. But promise you’ll wait for me?
Don’t start thinking I’m gone for good, if you don’t hear from me
in a while. I’ll write when I can. And next time I’m back in England, we
will meet up.’

He finished dressing, kissed her once
again and then he was gone, slipping out so silently she didn’t even hear the
door click.

Mariette was too exhausted to try
analysing what Morgan had said to her, too sleepy to even get up and straighten the
tangled sheets. She was woken later by Alfred, the steward, banging on the cabin
door.

‘Are you alright, Miss
Carrera?’ he called out.

She got up, pulled on her long
nightdress and a wrapper, and opened the cabin door.

‘I was worried that you were sick
as you didn’t go up for breakfast,’ Alfred said. He was portly,
middle-aged and a bit of an old woman, but he’d been very kind and helpful to
her and Stella.

‘I’m fine. I was just
tired,’ she said. ‘Don’t worry about the cabin today.’

‘I won’t have time to do it
anyway,’ he said with a slight edge to his voice, which suggested he was
annoyed at having his routine disturbed. ‘It’s after one. If you want
some lunch, you’d better go now.’

Mariette thanked him and said she
wasn’t hungry. She was, but she knew she must go and have a shower before
dressing, and she hadn’t got the energy to rush. ‘Have you heard how
Miss Murgatroyd is today?’ she asked.

He shook his head. ‘With nearly
all the passengers sick, I’ve got too much to do to go down to the
sickbay.’

Mariette closed the door and leaned back
against it while she gathered herself. She was sore from so much lovemaking, and
still very tired. But when she closed her eyes and
thought of the things she and Morgan had done to each
other, a delicious quiver of excitement ran through her.

Once she had showered and dressed,
Mariette made her way down to the sickbay to inquire about her friend. One of the
nurses said Stella was a lot better and that Mariette could go in to see her. If
Morgan was there, Mariette didn’t see him.

Stella’s face lit up to see her.
Although she looked gaunt, her colour was normal again and she was well enough to
sit up and talk.

‘I thought I was going to
die,’ she said dramatically. ‘To be honest, I welcomed death because I
felt so bad.’

‘Does that mean you can come back
to the cabin?’ Mariette asked, hoping that wouldn’t be the case.

‘I’ve got to wait for the
doctor’s permission,’ Stella replied. She sighed, as if she hoped he
would refuse it. ‘Have you seen that steward who works down here? He’s a
real heart-throb, and so kind too. It’s worth being ill just to be near
him.’

‘The dark-haired one that looks a
bit like Errol Flynn?’ Mariette asked, knowing it must be Morgan.

Stella went all dreamy-eyed. ‘Yes,
that’s him. I thought I must be delirious, seeing someone so handsome bathing
my forehead. But he came in again this morning, and I hadn’t imagined it. He
really is that gorgeous.’

Mariette didn’t trust herself to
continue this line of conversation. ‘If you’re well enough to get ideas
about a steward, you must be on the mend,’ she said. ‘Do you want me to
come back later and collect you?’

She wondered where Morgan was –
he’d been awake all night, and must be exhausted – but she couldn’t very
well ask. Coming back for Stella would be the ideal excuse for returning later.

‘No,
don’t bother,’ Stella said. ‘I’m quite happy to stay here. I
like it now I feel a bit better.’

Mariette left the sickbay and went up to
the saloon. As the sea was calmer now, there were many more people in the saloon
than she’d seen in the past few days. She got herself a cup of tea and was
soon drawn into conversation with several different people who all began by asking
how Stella was, but it soon transpired that this was just an opening gambit to tell
her how sick they’d been, and what an awful time they’d had in New
Zealand.

Mariette felt like reminding them she
was a New Zealander and perhaps suggesting their lack of success and happiness in
her country was because they’d been stupid enough to imagine New Zealand was
just like England. Back home, she’d often heard people laughing about
immigrants who didn’t attempt to adjust but instead spent all their time
comparing New Zealand unfavourably with their homeland. But she bit back her
sarcasm, smiled in sympathy and secretly hoped they’d find winter in England
far worse than they remembered.

But after an hour or so, she’d had
enough of being polite and went out on deck, hoping to find Morgan.

It was extremely cold, the sky was
leaden and sullen, and although she watched the waves curling back from the bow of
the ship for a few minutes, she was soon chilled to the bone and had to retreat down
to the warmth of the cabin.

She lay on Stella’s bunk and tried
to read, but her thoughts kept turning to Morgan. Was this the end for them? Perhaps
it was true what people said, that once a man had his way with a girl he lost
interest. But why would he ask her to wait for him, if he didn’t mean it?

Lying in his arms, she had allowed
herself to believe that he wanted her for ever, that he only had to do one more
return trip, and then they could be
together. But even if Morgan had meant what he said, now that she was here on her
own she could see problems. The chances were that her father had told Uncle Noah
about Sam, and warned him to keep her on a tight rein in England. But even if he
hadn’t, it wasn’t likely that her uncle was going to welcome a man
she’d met on the voyage, coming to call at his house. If Morgan was an
officer, it might be different – Mog had told her that English people were very
snobbish about class.

A knock on the door startled her out of
her reverie, and she jumped off the bunk to open it. To her amazement, it was
Morgan. He came in quickly and shut the door behind him.

‘You’re taking a risk during
the daytime,’ she gasped.

‘You’re worth it,’ he
said, and pulled her into his arms to kiss her. ‘I doubt we’ll get the
chance to be alone again before we get to England, and I didn’t want to leave
you not knowing how I feel about you.’

‘How you feel about me?’ she
repeated.

‘Isn’t it obvious? I’m
nuts about you. I wouldn’t have risked coming to your cabin in the day
otherwise.’

His words made the anxiety she’d
felt minutes earlier disappear, and she kissed him passionately.

Morgan pulled away first. ‘I need
to know you trust me,’ he said. ‘I can’t give you a date, or even
the month, when I’ll be back in England again. I’m not much of a letter
writer, and the post can take for ever to reach home anyway. But promise me you
won’t lose heart and forget me? As soon as I get back, I will send word to
you. I’m sure people will tell you sailors have a girl in every port, but
you’ll be the only girl in my heart.’

‘And you’ll be the only boy
in mine,’ she said, thrilled at his words. ‘I’ll give you my
uncle’s address now, just in case we don’t get another chance after
today.’

She wrote the
address down, and he tucked it into the pocket of his white jacket before lowering
her down on to Stella’s bunk.

He pulled off her jumper, undid her
blouse, then kissed her as he slid his hand down and under the top of her petticoat
to caress her breasts.

Mariette arched her back, and he
responded by bending to kiss and suck at her nipples. She held his head in her
hands, transported into another world where nothing mattered but the thrilling
sensations his lips were creating.

They were so wrapped up in each other,
neither of them heard the cabin door open. They only knew they weren’t alone
when they heard a gasp.

‘How could you?’
Stella’s irate voice boomed out.

Morgan jumped, banging his head on the
upper bunk and exposing Mariette, who was naked to the waist, beneath him.

They were so aghast, they could only
stare at Stella.

‘How could you?’ the girl
repeated, loudly enough for anyone outside the cabin to hear. ‘On my bunk!
That’s disgusting! I can’t believe that of you, Mariette.’

‘Now calm down, Stella,’
Morgan said, standing up and putting his hands on her shoulders. Mariette quickly
pulled her petticoat back over her breasts and slipped her jumper on. ‘We care
a great deal for one another, we just wanted some time alone together.’

‘It’s shameful, that’s
what it is,’ Stella exclaimed, breaking away from Morgan and wagging a finger
at Mariette. ‘How can you behave like that with a steward!’

‘It would be alright if it was the
Captain, I suppose?’ Mariette retorted. ‘Oh, don’t make such a
fuss, Stella. It’s not a crime to kiss a man, even if he is a steward. Only
this morning you said how kind and lovely he was. Are you jealous that he likes
me?’

‘Jealous
of you behaving so improperly? I should think not!’

‘Now, Stella,’ Morgan said
soothingly. ‘I’m sorry that you had to walk in on this, we are very
embarrassed, as I’m sure you are too. We’re both pleased that you are
well enough to leave the sickbay. But don’t forget that it was Mari who has
been looking after you for most of this voyage. She doesn’t deserve you to
turn on her just because we fell in love with each other.’

At those words Mariette didn’t
care what Stella thought of her any more, or even if the whole ship got to hear of
it.

‘I wanted to tell you,’
Mariette said. ‘But you know Morgan would be in trouble, if one of the
officers got to hear about it. And you’ve been so ill, it wouldn’t have
been right to upset you, would it?’

Stella glowered at them both.
‘Don’t think you can charm your way out of this,’ she said.
‘I’m going to see one of the officers.’

‘Please don’t do that,
Stella,’ Mariette pleaded with her and caught hold of her hand to prevent her
rushing out. ‘Morgan would lose his job, and he has a widowed mother to
support. Take it out on me, if you must, but not on him.’

Stella shook her off and pushed Morgan
back towards the door. ‘Just get out of here, and don’t you dare try to
come in here again.’ She wrenched the door open. ‘To think I believed
you were a gentleman!’

As she slammed the door shut behind him,
Mariette continued pleading with her. ‘I love him, Stella. He looked after me
when I was ill in Curaçao, and we spent the afternoon while you were in the port
getting to know each other. He only came here this afternoon because it was too cold
to meet on deck. We just wanted to talk and be together, is that so bad?’

‘You
weren’t talking,’ she retorted, her face flushed red with outrage.
‘If I hadn’t come in, he’d have been having his way with you.
I’m disgusted that you could do such a thing.’

Mariette kept apologizing, almost
grovelling to the older girl, but nothing she said made any difference. Stella kept
a wooden expression on her face, repeating over and over how disgusted she was.

Such a strong reaction had to be
jealousy, but Mariette didn’t dare charge her with that again for fear
she’d make good her threat to speak to an officer. It wasn’t in
Mariette’s nature to grovel to anyone, but she knew she must this time. Not
just so that Morgan could keep his job, but because she was a minor and it was quite
likely the Captain would consider it his duty to contact her uncle and tell him what
he knew. She couldn’t let that happen.

‘I wouldn’t have upset you
for the world,’ she pleaded. ‘We’ve been such good friends,
don’t take against me for this. I know it looked bad, but we just got a bit
carried away.’

‘I really don’t wish to have
anything more to do with you,’ Stella said, giving Mariette a look that would
freeze a brass monkey. ‘I won’t report you, not this time, but just keep
away from me for the rest of the voyage.’

At first, Mariette was so happy Morgan
had said he loved her that she didn’t care if Stella wanted nothing more to do
with her. But after just one day of being totally ignored by her friend, she found
she did care. Stella only spoke if there was no alternative, and at mealtimes she
made sure she was seated with other people, excluding Mariette.

It became terribly cold, and Mariette
hoped the sea would become rough again so she could take care of Stella and win her
forgiveness. But the sea remained quite calm, Stella stayed well, and her demeanour
was as frosty as the weather.

The extreme cold
made it impossible for Mariette to hang around on deck in the hope of seeing Morgan.
She considered faking illness to go down to the sickbay, but that might turn out to
be asking for more trouble.

But two nights before they were due to
dock in Southampton, Mariette bundled herself up in warm clothes and decided to
brave it. To her delight, Morgan was there at the doorway which led down to the
sickbay.

His face lit up on seeing her.
‘I’ve been coming up here all the time,’ he said. ‘I was
beginning to think Stella had put you off me.’

‘She couldn’t do that, but
she has been horrible,’ Mariette said. ‘I feel entirely friendless now.
She won’t speak, gives me dirty looks all the time. I’m convinced
it’s jealousy.’

‘Well, there is a lot to be
jealous about. You’re pretty, you’re great company and you’ve got
me. By the way, what made you say I had to support my widowed mother?’

Mariette giggled. ‘Desperation. I
didn’t think she was cruel enough to see a widow go hungry.’

Morgan smiled. ‘I like it that
your brain works that fast in an emergency.’

‘Well, it was self-preservation
too. I didn’t want her blabbing.’

‘When I come back to England next
time, we’d better do it all properly. You tell your uncle I looked after you
when you were sick, and that I want to call on you. Would he refuse?’

Mariette shrugged. ‘I can’t
see why, it’s perfectly reasonable. I shall just have to be careful I
don’t look too excited about seeing you.’

‘But would you be?’ he
asked.

She looked at his lovely face – those
dark twinkly eyes, golden suntan and brilliant white teeth – and felt weak with
wanting.

‘You know
I would be,’ she admitted. ‘No one would stand here on a freezing deck
unless they were seriously smitten.’