S.W. Tanpepper's GAMELAND, Season One Omnibus (165 page)

I'd stared at her. Things like that don't just happen.

“
Everyone was drunk. He made a move on me. I should've been expecting it. No, I think I was. Gene was always flirting, with me, with Geena.”

A tear rolls down her cheek.

“
Enoch would've been about three at the time, and Richard… Well, he confronted Gene afterward, said he knew what had happened. Said he knew Enoch was really his son.”

“
Why?”

“
Why? I don't know. Richard was always gone, too busy for me and his family.”

Excuses. That's all they are.

“
All these years, I've hated myself for the pain I caused, but if there's one thing I don't regret, it's you. Not for a minute.”

How does a person reconcile that?
I regret all the pain I caused, but I don't regret you.

By punishing herself. The booze… The men…

Grandpa knew. Of course he did. He knew and so did the man I'd always thought of as my father. Halliwell knew, too. That's why the two men hated each other. Because of me.

“
Did Eric know?”

“
No. We never told him. We never told anyone.”

But they couldn't have known about the immunity, not at first, not until after Halliwell's failed experiment, after he'd realized he hadn't died and come back. At some point he realized he was immune, that it might even be heritable. At what point did he know Stephen wasn't immune? When did he realize I was?

“
You can't tell anyone,” Mom warned me. “They will come after you. They will put you in a laboratory somewhere and they will kill you.”

So that's what the inhaler was for, the deprolidone. It wasn't to boost my immunity. It wasn't to block the infection or treatment. It was to mask the immune prion from detection:
prevented the prion's detection in all known diagnostic assays
. Grandpa was protecting me.

That's why he killed Halliwell, so it wouldn't get out.

Stephen, my own half-brother. He knew I was immune and he wasn't. He hated me and his hatred drove him crazy.

No, my own blood did that. I realize that now. The fight on the tram. I thought he'd given me a shot in my neck. He had stuck me with the needle, but not to inject me. He'd extracted my blood. He'd extracted it and given it to himself.

Now we will be the same.

He thought it would cure him, but he'd done it wrong, and it made him go crazy.

Just like it did Ben.

Kelly pings me at ten the next morning. I hadn't slept a wink all night, wondering what to do, whether to break the news to him, that he'll live if I can go back and find the secret to the activator. I decide I can't, not just yet.

First, we get married. I'll figure everything else out afterward.

“
Can you come over before we go?” he tells me. “My mom wants to talk with you.”

I ask if he's said anything to them about being infected. He's quiet for a long time.

Looks like you're not the only one keeping secrets from the people you love.

Protecting them.

“
Don't,” I tell him. He doesn't argue, but I can tell he's wondering. I can tell by the sound of his breathing that he knows I know something.

I just need time to come up with a plan.

† † †

Mrs. Corben has always given us space. She has always tolerated our relationship, even though we weren't always very discrete about our activities. “Keep the door open,” she always told us, yet never came up to check in on us. Today, however, she seems cold, distant.

We sit at the kitchen table and she prepares some coffee and tells us that she doesn't understand why we're doing this. “You shouldn't rush into marriage. You're both barely eighteen.”

“
People are getting married earlier, Mom,” Kelly tells her, and she sighs and shakes her head and continues to express her displeasure.

“
Well, I can't stop you. I won't. Neither will your father. But after what just happened in Lo—”

“
Nell,” Mister Corben says. He gives his head a warning shake.

“
Can't even talk about it in our own home,” she says, giving him a dark look. She turns back toward us and says, “I don't approve of this.”

Eric pings me while I'm there and says he's on his way from work. “Go on ahead,” he says. “I'll meet you in half an hour. I'll ping Mom and tell her to come, too.”

We go in the Corben's car, Mister Corben driving. Mrs. Corben stays home to be with Kyle. It's better that way, I think.

We stop and pick up Reggie before heading over.

Eric's already there when we arrive. We stand around outside and wait for Mom. Five minutes. Ten. Eric tries her Link again, but she doesn't connect. “She'll be here,” he assures me. “She promised.”

But as the minutes tick by and we all start to get antsy, it becomes clear she won't.

“
Let's just do it,” I finally announce. Eric's face pinches. He gives me a sad look and shakes his head. He knows how disappointed I am. I can see how disappointed he is, too. “Just a few more minutes, Jess.”

But I say no. I was afraid this would happen. I'm just so disappointed it would be like this.

We go in and give our information. The registrar taps a few keys on the computer and then nods. “Congratulations. That'll be seventy-eight dollars.”

And just like that, it's done. No big ceremony like the rich folks do. We pay the fee, and then we leave. When we get outside, Kelly gives my hand a squeeze. He leans in and I'm aware of everyone looking at us, aware of what a charade this all is, afraid that everyone looking at us will be able to see it, too.

“
For better or worse,” he whispers in my ear.

In sickness and in health, I think.

Till death do you part.

I think I'll leave tomorrow. Early, before everyone is up. No sense to waiting. If I do, I might chicken out.

Mister Corben goes home alone; he says it might be best for us to give his wife some time to get used to the idea of us being married. I think maybe Kyle is upset about it too, about me taking Kelly away from him. I'd tried to tell him it was like getting a new sister, but I don't think I fooled him for a second.

We get into Eric's car and Kelly wrinkles his nose and asks, “What's that smell?”

“
Jessie's backpack,” Eric answers. “I'm throwing it away today if you don't take care of it.”

I reach down at my feet and open it up and start to pull things out: the stuffed rabbit, now lumpy and moldy, permanently stained with mud and blood; the rusty pistol, now useless; Jake's shredded Playboy magazine, which Reggie quickly claims with a shrug; a single ampoule of smelling salts; various pieces of junk.

“
What's this?” Kelly asks, reaching for a small white rectangle of laminated paper. He pulls it from my hand and scrapes the mud off. “Di…thio…threitol? Polyethylene…glycol? Sounds like chemicals.”

He hands it over and I stare at it, remembering Brother Matthew's words:
The chemical formula for the stabilizer is written on a card inside the satchel with the syringes. Instructions for how to prepare it—

“
What is it?”

Excitement wells up inside of me, as the weight of a thousand deaths is lifted from my shoulders. A million deaths.

And one in particular.

“
It's a miracle,” I tell him, though in truth I know it isn't. It's just dumb, stupid luck. We finally caught a rare break.

He gives me that half smile I've so dearly missed, waiting for me to explain.

But I don't give it to him just yet. I want to savor this moment, the moment it hits me that we really do have all the time in the world now. And this is just the beginning of it.

‡ ‡

[END OF EPISODE 8 & SEASON 1 - READY FOR SEASON 2?]

 

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