#Swag (GearShark #3) (34 page)

Epic fail.

“First of all…” I held up a finger. “Women wouldn’t have to, quote, ‘whine and moan’ about anything if men wouldn’t be such morons and listen the first time they talked.” He opened his mouth, and I gave him a death glare and popped up a second finger. “Second of all, you didn’t drag anything out of me. I was going to tell you. And I don’t want to
jump your stick
.”

By the time I finished, he was full-on grinning, his pearly whites all on display.

“I love you.”

The hand I’d been holding up fell out of the air like dead weight. I felt like a crash test dummy slammed into a concrete wall at an impossible speed without a seatbelt.

The breath in my lungs stalled out. The word came out as more of a wheeze. “What?”

He shook his head, his smile still firmly in place. “You’re surprised.”

Yeah. I guess I was.

The distance between us narrowed considerably when Jace came back across the room to stand in front of me. He twirled one finger around the spiral curl that escaped my bun, tugging it gently.

“I love you, Josie.”

A rush of emotion so strong welled up inside me tears pressed against the backs of my eyes. My fingers twisted in his shirt, like I was using him to steady myself.

I whispered, “You’re telling me that even after what I just told you?”

“Ah, baby.” He abandoned my hair to cup my face. “I think you know me well enough to know by now I don’t love too easily. In fact, besides Arrow, you’re the only other person I could say it to.”

My fingers tightened in the cotton against his abs. “I thought maybe crossing over would make things easier. You know? I could keep driving with maybe a little less harassment. I thought a division with no rules and with Trent and Drew sort of spearheading the message that the NRR was for everyone no matter who you were, especially the underdogs… I’m an underdog, Jace. I thought maybe I would belong there.”

“You belong beside me.” He spoke soft, his thumb caressing my cheek.

“I don’t think you understand,” I told him. My chest felt tight. The depth of feeling I knew for him was unmatched. Hell, up until now, I thought it was unattainable. It scared me so fucking bad.

If I lost this, it might crush me. I couldn’t accept his words. I couldn’t let them pierce my heart until I was sure he knew.

“I’m probably still going to be a target. The guys in my division, they’re going to be even worse now because I’m outing them. Cannon…”

“Don’t fucking say his name to me,” he growled.

“See?” I said, frustrated. “You’re already caught up in it. This goes beyond reporters asking us for comments on our relationship. Beyond me thinking it’s going to be magically better in the NRR. There’s always going to be the guys who don’t think a woman belongs. They’re always going to look at me, think they can degrade me. Sexual harassment practically comes with my job.”

Jace’s eyes heated, turning molten, and the anger inside him crackled beneath his skin.

I forged on. “You can’t beat up every guy. You can’t rush to my defense all the time. You’re going to get comments and shit because we’re together. Sometimes you’re going to have to sit by and see what people do to me.”

He released me, moving away, only to turn and pace back.

“People can suck my dick,” he spat.

“No they can’t.” I sniffed. “That’s my job.”

He laughed, running a hand through his hair. “I’ve been dealing with assholes and people who want to challenge me for a long time, Josie. If anyone wants to come at me for loving you, then let them. That’s nothing.”

I opened my mouth, and he cut me off.

“As far as watching men in this profession treat you like shit? Fuck no, I won’t. We’re gonna get that straight right now. No one, and I mean
no one,
will disrespect you in my presence. And if they do it when I’m not around, they’ll hear about it. There’s nothing you can do or say to stop me.”

“Don’t you get it!” I flung my hands out, frustrated. “I’ve been fighting for years for equality. To be treated the same. If you step in and start fighting my battles and I let you, what does that say about me? It says I need a man to force other men to treat me right. No, Jace. I want respect because I earned it.”

“Some people won’t respect you no matter how much you deserve it,” he deadpanned.

My shoulders slumped a little under it all. He was right. I knew it. But I was right, too.

It was like we were standing at an impasse.

“Then it won’t matter what you do,” I said.

“I can’t make people respect you, Josie, but this shit with the hazing… That stops now.”

“I don’t need a white knight.”

“I’m more of a dark troublemaker with a white Lotus.” He winked.

My lips twitched. I tried desperately not to smile. God, he was so charming. A good guy wrapped up in a bad-boy package. His dark, mysterious eyes weren’t much of a mystery to me anymore. The dark, bottomless way they appeared was just a front. His experiences, the shit that made him jaded, the take-no-prisoners attitude made him Lorhaven.

Deep down beneath it all was Jace.

A man who loved fiercely. A man who was hurt by a father whose humanity got in the way of being a good parent. A man who was haunted by the things Lorhaven did to protect his brother.

“You have a black soul but a heart of gold,” I told him.

“You like gold?” He sidled up to me again, warmth in his gaze.

“I love it.”

“I’m with you,” he said low but no less ferocious. “I do value your independence and your strength, but you don’t have to be strong all the time, not with me. With me, you can have a little softness.”

It’s what I want. I want to be strong and soft. I want someone to understand both.

“Do you trust me?” he asked, taking my face in his hands and lifting it.

It was a no-brainer. “Yes.”

“Trust I won’t do anything that will demean you or shove you behind me. Also, trust I’ll step in when I see fit, and it’s only because I love you.”

I gave in. There was no part of me that could resist even just a small part of him. “I love you, Jace.”

“It’s me and you now, Josie. Not just you.”

“Us,” I murmured.

“Us.” He agreed.

“And Arrow,” I added.

His mouth curved up. “My bro is part of the package, but I don’t want you thinking you’re any less important. You aren’t.” He gave me a squeeze.

“I know.” I leaned forward, sliding my arms around his waist. I thought about mentioning how I thought Arrow was headed toward becoming an “us,” but I had a feeling that wasn’t going to be something Jace would be too thrilled about. Seemed like we were already dealing with enough today, so I decided to keep that thought to myself.

“So we good?” he asked against my hair.

“I’m good if you are.” The nervous, breathless way I felt was giving way to giddiness. He loved me. He wanted me as I was, and I didn’t have to be someone I wasn’t.

And for once, it didn’t scare me that in order to be accepted as I was, I in turn had to accept him for who he was.

I loved him.

He loves me.

“Just promise me you won’t keep this shit from me ever again. When something happens,
anything
, I want to know about it.”

Oh, it was hard to relinquish even a little control. “Okay. Same goes for you.”

Jace pulled back. My nose wrinkled when I watched him hock a loogie into the palm of his hand. Then he held the same nasty, loogified hand out to me.

“Shake on it,” he said.

“Ew!” I squealed and knocked his hand away. “That’s disgusting!”

He rolled his eyes and wiped his hand down the front of his shirt. Ew. “Everyone wants to be a dude until they gotta spit-shake on it.”

I punched him in the arm (I wasn’t about to touch his nasty shirt). “Wanting to take care of myself does not make me a dude.”

He laughed. It was more of a cackle than anything.

One thing was for sure: things with Jace would never ever be dull.

I wanted to throw myself at him, but my body was too sore, too battered for the movement. Instead, I stepped up close, and he folded my body into his. The next thing I knew, his hands were tangled in the cotton of his/my shirt, and we were kissing like we hadn’t kissed in years.

Eventually, his mouth ripped free and his eyes darkened. “I need to get you some ice for your face and your neck.”

“I don’t want ice.” I fingered the waistband of his jeans. “I want you.”

“You look like shit, Josie, and honestly? I’m fucking scared I’ll hurt you.” He punctuated his honesty by lifted my hand and brushing a kiss across the knuckles that were red and puffy from when I punched Cannon. “This feel broken?” he murmured.

I shook my head.

“That’s good.” He kissed them again.

“Jace, please,” I whispered. Emotion clogged my throat again, a sort of desperate feeling washing over me. Despite knowing he loved me even after he knew the truth, I was still so weepy.

“I can’t say no to you, Josie.” He brushed a kiss over my mouth. “But none of the ‘harder Jace, more Jace’ tonight. I won’t do it. Slow. Easy. Sweet.” As he spoke, he kissed me in between his words. The sound of his voice coupled with the feel of his lips was the ultimate aphrodisiac.

“You know everyone is going to be at our door soon,” I half moaned.

Jace thrust his hips into me, still pressing gentle kisses to my face. “They’ll wait.”

Impatiently, I tugged at his shirt. He lifted up so I could pull it completely away. His body was warm and hard beneath my hands. I wanted to touch him everywhere all at once, and I wanted to feel his skin on mine.

His low chuckle filled the room and vibrated against my cheek. “Easy…”

“Jace,” I warned, a desperate note in his name.

His body pushed up, and I reached for his jeans. The second they were unbuttoned and unzipped, he lost them, along with his boxer briefs. I was sitting, and he was on his knees in front of me.

Immediately, I slipped my mouth down over his rigid length. He groaned, his movements stalled out, but then he recovered and pulled at my shirt. I released him only long enough for it to come over my head before I dove back down and sucked deep.

Jace’s fingers kneaded my shoulders as I sucked him deep. One hand was wrapped firmly around the base of his rod, and the other reached between his legs and up to cup his ass.

Jace made a deep, throaty sound, grabbed my head, and held it still.

With my lips still wrapped around him, he began to move, taking control of my blow job and pumping his dick in and out of my mouth. He wasn’t rough. If anything, he was slow just like he said. It was maddening, nothing but a tease.

The fingers against his ass tightened and pushed him closer, urging him on.

He laughed but didn’t increase his pace. Instead, he kept it easy and gentle but somehow still thoroughly fucked my mouth, and I loved every second of it. He was rigid and smooth. The way he felt gliding against my tongue and rubbing over and over against my lips made my own hips start to gyrate toward him.

Suddenly, Jace pulled back, leaving my mouth without any warning.

“I want more,” I told him.

He chuckled and pushed me back into the mattress so he could strip off the rest of the boyshorts. When I was as naked as him, I held out my hands, wanting to fill them up again.

He towered over me on his knees, hair fell down into his eyes, his lips were red and puffy, and his cock stood at attention. The corded muscles in his arms stood out like he was trying to hold himself back, but that’s not what I wanted.

I wanted him unleashed. The look in his eyes told me he knew it and he relished holding it back.

I sat up abruptly, grabbed his hips, and pulled him toward my mouth. He resisted, but only long enough to collapse beside me and grab my hips.

He guided me so I was above him, and the second I knew his intent, I shifted, both my knees dropping to the mattress on either side of Jace’s head. I bent at the waist, my head facing a proudly jutting cock, and grabbed hold. I dragged my tongue over his head, tasted the salty flavor of his pre-release.

He made a sound of appreciation and ran a hand up the inside of my thigh. I shuddered when his fingers parted my folds and his tongue licked my slit.

With him in my mouth, I moaned, my legs shaking.

We continued that way for long minutes, torturing each other with oral pleasure until I lifted my head on a gasp. “Jace,” I demanded. “I can’t.”

“Right across my tongue, Josie,” he said, then went back to work with his mouth.

Small sounds began to rumble out of me. I grabbed hold of his cock, slick from my mouth, and pumped him hard as a wave of ecstasy overtook my body.

It was so powerful I collapsed, let go of his length, and went boneless over him, even as the orgasm still rolled.

Jace supported my hips and lower body, holding me up, and continued to work me with his tongue and fingers. I couldn’t stop shuddering. Just when I thought I would stop, a new wave would crash over me and I would moan helplessly again.