Swan Song (Book Three of the Icarus Trilogy) (29 page)

“Yeah, you do.  I’ll just have to worry about you.  I’ll have to come to terms with it, I guess,” Elizabeth said as she wrapped the sheets around her.  Liz was joking about it with her lover, but the quiet half of her knew that she was being truthful.  Somehow this bumbling fool had become important to her and she was foolish enough to enjoy it.

It was too bad that there was every chance he could die whenever he went to work.

James shook his head after he landed and then scrambled over himself so that he could reach the communicator.  He grabbed it as the machine was on its last ring and then hit the receiver before lifting it to his ear.

“Jimmy?!” a deep voice yelled on the other end.  Kaspar breathed out deeply as he recognized his partner’s voice.  He looked back at the young girl on the bed, who was hiding how upset she truly was.  That didn’t stop James from knowing exactly how this affected her.

“Hey, Demetri, sorry about the radio silence,” he said as he bit his lips and watched the raven-haired girl.  She was giving him a forced half-smile, but Kaspar knew that for what it was.

“Sorry?  You’re gonna say sorry, buddy?  Gah, I thought the worst.  Well, I hope the girl’s worth it because we needed you back here two days ago.  Big things are happening, Jimmy,” Urlov said with urgency, which caused Kaspar to stand up and furrow his brow.

“Big things?” he asked as he focused on the conversation.  He could hear Liz giggling at his seriousness while being entirely naked, but he pushed the thought from his mind.

“Yeah, man.  Montgomery wants a
truce
,” Demetri said in his booming voice.  James reeled from the information, not realizing that the end of this bloody resistance could be so close.  He breathed in deeply and looked at Elizabeth lying on his bed.  He saw the emerald eyes staring back at him and wanted nothing more.

“That’s amazing.  So what’s going on?  Can we trust it?” James asked in a frantic manner.  He started to pace the room and considered his options.  Maybe he could actually go visit his brothers in just a couple weeks, come back and then sleep around all day with his new, well, they’d have to discuss what she was.

“Probably not, which is why Atlas and Odysseus are going with armored guards.  They gotta be careful, so they hand-picked the best guards and they’re gonna meet in just a day.  Gonna be crazy dangerous,” Demetri said, chuckling at the situation.

“Woah, that’s crazy.  Who’s going?  Some of the old guard?” James asked as he turned to Elizabeth.  She was wrapped up in his sheets but he could see every curve and every line.  James knew at that moment that they didn’t need to discuss what she was to him.

“Dumbass, I said they’re picking the best guards.  Bunch of unimportant people and then you and me, Jimmy.  We’ll be part of history, buddy!  We might be part of the unit that ends this fucker!” Demetri shouted with joy.  “I mean, we can’t get ahead of ourselves, might be any chance that we could die in this shindig, but isn’t this what you wanted?  You wanted to mean something, right?” Demetri asked as he grunted, probably sitting down.

Kaspar’s heart sank as he realized what Urlov was saying.  That’s why there had been so many messages and missed calls.  That’s why two days had been far too long to be wrapped up in happiness.  And just like Demetri had said, Kaspar realized that this would be a good way to mean something.  But as he looked over the young girl who was looking at him with concern, he discovered that he didn’t want that.  He had wanted to mean something to
someone
.  He couldn’t care less about the history books.

All he cared about was wrapped up in those sheets.

He couldn’t do it.  He couldn’t possibly do anything that would harm her, even for a second.  James couldn’t cause her an ounce of pain, physical or emotional.  To think that just a few days ago he would have ran into a shooting gallery because it was his job.  He couldn’t do that anymore.  He couldn’t put this woman that he loved into that position.

“No, Demetri.”  There was silence for a long time and he thought the line had been dropped, but soon James heard a loud breath over the communicator.

“What do you mean, ‘no?’  What are you talking about?” Demetri asked, clearly not able to consider that James would back down from such a great honor; why he would back down from something that could have otherwise been just another day at the office.

“I can’t do it anymore, Demetri.  I have to stop,” he said as he bit his lip and looked at Elizabeth.  He had panicked when he had first refused, thinking that he might have made a mistake, but as he saw the relief on the young woman’s face he knew that it was the right thing to do.

“What?  Stop what?” Urlov asked, his voice slightly angry.

“Fighting, I guess.  It’s gone, now.  I have to stop, get out of this while I can.  You can judge me all you wan-”

“What are you
talking about
?” Demetri roared on the other end.  “You’re going to stop
NOW?!
  When we’re almost
done?! 
What about all of our friends?  Are you just going to stop fighting now after they’re all dead?  Do you think you can live with that, Jimmy?  Seeing our friends’ graves and everything and seeing what we’ve seen, you’re just going to walk away when everybody needs you the most?!” Demetri yelled on the other end, demanding answers from his good friend.

“I have to, Demetri.  There’s too much to lose,” he said before rubbing his ear with his free hand.  He felt horrible about this, but he knew the alternative was so much worse.

“FUCK YOU, Jimmy!  Fuck you, you fucking coward!  Are you kidding me?  You’re going to walk away from this and leave these guys unprotected?  You’re going to walk away from
me?
  Do I mean jack
shit
to you?  Don’t
I
mean a goddamned thing to you?” Demetri asked, his voice wavering and his questions interrupted by loud sniffs.  James felt terrible, knowing that Urlov didn’t deserve this, but he would get over it eventually.  He’d realize that Kaspar just couldn’t do it, and he’d forgive him and laugh and smile when he met Elizabeth.  This was just temporary.

“I’m sorry, Demetri.  I wish you all the luck I can give,” James said, resigned to take his punishment.  He heard a crash on the other end of the line and was grateful that this hadn’t been in person.

“Fu----fuck you,” Demetri said, his voice breaking and devolving into sobs before the line went dead.  James looked at the floor and felt terrible abandoning his friend.  He knew that Demetri would be just fine, but that didn’t stop the guilt.

He felt the small, warm arms wrapping around him and he looked down to see those green eyes looking back up at him.  Elizabeth had tears in her eyes, which confused James at first, but he realized that there was a small smile on that perfect face.

“Thank you,” she said before pulling him down into a passionate kiss.  Afterwards she pressed her face against his chest and held him close, which was exactly what James needed.

After that, he needed to be close to someone.

-

The text on the screen was blurring again.  Jessica sniffed back the snot in her nose and wiped away the tears with her left hand.  She was doing everything she could to account for the newly-acquired inventory, but her thoughts kept wandering elsewhere.  Jessica knew this was a help to the EFI, but it was boring, tedious work and in the past, whenever things had become boring, Abrams only had to look to Edward for a solution.

She breathed in sharply at the memory and clenched her left hand into a fist.  She wanted to destroy the computer screen in front of her, sweep the desk of all the papers and throw her chair across the room.  Unfortunately none of those were an option.  The EFI needed that computer, she had spent way too long organizing the papers into those stacks and she didn’t have to strength to throw her chair with the one good arm left to her. 

Abrams looked down and could see her belly sticking out.  It was becoming difficult to sit in one place for long and Jessica couldn’t believe how fast the kid was growing.  It had only been about four months, but it seemed like the baby could come at any second.  This accelerated growth or whatever had been left in her system was killing her.  She didn’t have the time to get used to this parasite growing inside her; her muscles hadn’t been able to adapt.

She looked back up to the screen and found that the text was blurry again.  Abrams yelled at the screen and at her tears and at the man who had done this to her.

“HAWKINS, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!  YOU DIRTY, EVIL, LITTLE BASTARD!” she screamed as she tried to stand up, or at least lift herself out of her chair.  As she did the chair’s wheels slid from the force and the former warrior fell to her rear with a sudden impact.  It hurt, but not as much as everything that was happening to her.

“FUCK YOU, you.... you son of a bitch,” she cursed, but soon her voice fell into desperation and the subject of her anger had switched the red-haired killer.  Norris wasn’t the best man, but he could have had the decency to see this through.  He had given her hope, jumping at the chance to be a father, but then he had abandoned her as soon as there was a possibility that it wasn’t his.  She felt betrayed and angry, but she couldn’t do anything about it.

“Jess!?  Jess, are you ok?!” the frantic voice asked from the other room.  Soon Abrams was able to see Ryan burst into the room and look around in a hurry before noticing her on the floor.  Jenkins rushed over to her and kneeled down before placing his hand on her shoulder.

“Are you ok?  What happened?  Is it.... is it time?” he asked, his eyes wide with panic.  After a moment of confusion the woman actually had to laugh.  The very thought was absurd, but then again, Ryan was just a kid and this was such a strange situation.  After just a few laughs, though, the woman’s thoughts turned back to the Englishman and sobs started to come out.  It was the first time that Jessica had cried like this in years.  Not since before she had to console her father in the morgue.

“Jess?  What’s going on?” Jenkins asked in his concern.  Abrams gave herself to her sorrow for another painful moment, but soon she turned to her friend and sat up against the wall nearby.

“It’s .... it’s fine, Ryan.  It’s not the baby.  It’s, well, I mean, it has to do with the baby,” she said before looking into the kind soldier’s eyes.  Jenkins was so concerned about her, even though he had eight worlds of people to save.  It was enough to cause Abrams to admire Ryan even more.

“I.... oh, I guess I did hear you say Hawkins,” Ryan said before giving a consoling smile.  He rubbed her shoulder and sat down, putting his knees in front of him.  “Tell me about it,” he said before placing his arms on top of his legs.  Abrams laughed at the display and shook her head.

“Oh, c’mon, kid.  You have better things to do,” Jessica said, but Ryan put up his hand to stop her.

“No, I have
other
things to do.  Planning a revolution and a potential truce are not exactly fun.  Besides, I need more humanity in my life, Jess.  I need to talk with the people who are.... important to me,” Ryan said before withdrawing his hand and setting his chin on his propped-up arms.  Jessica laughed at that.

“Important to you?  C’mon, kid,” she started, but he grunted at her and gave her a stern look.

“Don’t you dare.  Us Crows have to stick together.  Not enough of us left,” he said before giving her a soft smile.  Jessica had to join him in that, but soon her thoughts returned to her troubles.

“There really aren’t,” she said, remembering her former teammates.  They were mostly gone, and half of the rest were broken, but there was kinship there.  She decided she needed to be honest.  “I’m hurting, kid.”

“I can guess,” he said in a soft manner, but when Jessica quickly looked at him to yell about how he didn’t understand, she realized that he hadn’t meant to presume.   He was giving her all the time she needed.  Jessica softened her gaze and then scratched her leg absent-mindedly.

“I never wanted to be pregnant.  Not like this; not with a war going on around me.  And I definitely never wanted to be crippled.  Kid, I’ve died before, but this is so much worse,” Jessica said before lifting her head back against the wall, staring at the fortified ceiling.  She could hear Ryan sighing across from her.

“I know.  And I know I said that we couldn’t spare the parts, but as soon as I can I’ll do what I can to fix that,” Ryan said, but Abrams was the one to interrupt him this time.

“It doesn’t matter, kid,” she said as he looked back at him.  He was shocked by the answer, but only momentarily.  Abrams looked at her comrade and could see that part of him was gone.  He had fully come into his role as messiah; taking on so much more than he should have to.  “It doesn’t matter.  I’m still pregnant.  I’d still have to stay here.”

Jessica looked down at her belly and could feel the baby kicking, a behavior it had started in the last week.  It seemed like it was a fighter, at least, which caused the woman to smile a bit.  If that was the case, it wasn’t Hawkins’ kid; it couldn’t have gotten it from him.  Jessica turned back to Ryan and shook her head.