Swansea Summer (48 page)

When he finally finished she sat back and studied him as she handed him yet another cigarette.

‘You think I’m pathetic, don’t you.’ He braced himself for her condemnation.

‘I think you’ve behaved like an immature idiot, but you’re hardly pathetic. Have you thought what you’re going to do with yourself now?’

‘Not walk under any more buses,’ he replied flippantly.

‘You’ve a whole summer ahead of you. You could put it to some use.’

‘And do what?’

She looked him in the eye. ‘I may have just the job for you.’

‘Job?’

‘Don’t look so horrified at the prospect of doing some real work, Joe. You never know, it might prove the making of you.’

‘Joy, I’m sorry for waking you …’

Joy rubbed the sleep from her eyes and turned on the hall light. ‘Have you any idea of the time, John?’

‘Yes, and I wouldn’t have disturbed you unless I had to. I’ve Katie in the car.’

‘The girls, Judy …’ She began anxiously.

‘They’re fine.’

‘Then why is Katie here?’

‘Because I’ve had an argument with Helen. I was hoping you could put her up.’

‘An argument …’

‘I want to marry Katie, Joy. And I won’t be able to until my divorce is final in six weeks. Tonight I told Helen about us, and she – let’s just say she wasn’t sympathetic. In the meantime Katie has to stay somewhere and I was hoping …’

Joy looked past him to his car. Katie was sitting in the front seat, staring down at her hands. ‘Bring her in.’

‘You’ll take her …’

‘For tonight. Now is not the time for a deep discussion. We’ll talk again in the morning.’

‘Miss Llewellyn.’ John barely recognised Joe’s tutor in her evening dress as he opened his front door and walked into his house. ‘Is Joe all right?’

‘He’s just gone up to bed. I’m glad I caught you. I’d like to have a chat.’

‘Please go in.’ He opened the door to his living room. ‘Can I get you a drink?’

‘After the example your son has just set, I shouldn’t, but I’ll have a small brandy if you have it.’

‘Joe was drunk?’ He poured her a drink and handed it to her.

‘Very. He … fell under a bus.’ She repeated the version of events she had given Dr Watkin Morgan. ‘But don’t worry, he was extremely lucky. Apart from a couple of scratches he’s fine.’

‘Really?’ John looked keenly at her.

‘You don’t believe me.’

‘I’ve been worried about him for some time,’ John acknowledged, as he poured himself a drink and sat opposite her.

‘He’s been working hard for his degree. Young people today see pressure everywhere, even where there isn’t any. But none of it is your fault; you’ve done a superb job of bringing him up, Mr Griffiths. And Joe admires and respects you. In fact, he told me a lot about you tonight.’

‘He did?’ John murmured warily.

‘We had a long talk. I thought, and Joe agrees with me, that it might be an idea for him to get away this summer. I’m driving down to France tomorrow. I run a summer school there for children who’ve lost one or both parents in the war. I can always do with an extra pair of hands. Joe’s the right age to get on with most of the children. He’s agreed to go with me.’

‘It’s good of you …’

‘Not at all. I’ll be here about ten o’clock to pick him up.’

‘Thank you.’ John offered her his hand as he walked her to the front door.

‘Don’t worry, Mr Griffiths,’ she said, as he helped her on with her stole. ‘I’ll look after him.’

Unable to bear the silence that had fallen between her, Lily and Judy since her father and Katie had left the house, Helen left her chair and paced restlessly to the window. Pulling back the curtains she stared at the empty road.

‘This is all my fault,’ Judy murmured wretchedly.

Helen turned round. ‘Don’t be ridiculous,’ she snapped tensely.

‘I knew something about Adam, I should have said and I didn’t …’

‘Should have said what?’ Helen demanded.

‘Adam’s still angry about that trick the boys played on him on Jack’s stag night. He wanted to get his own back on them – on all of us. He succeeded with me and Brian, and now he’s succeeded with you and Jack. I should have said something and I didn’t …’

‘Slow down, Judy, you’re not making much sense,’ Lily warned.

Judy sat forward on the edge of her chair and stared down at her hands. ‘Remember the night Adam asked me to go to the dinner dance with him?’

‘Yes.’ Lily nodded, conscious of Helen listening intently behind her.

Slowly, hesitantly, Judy began to tell them what had happened between her and Adam. How she’d almost passed out halfway through the evening, how he’d offered her coffee and she’d gone with him into his home expecting to find his parents there, how she fell asleep and woke believing Adam was Brian. How cheap, dirty and degraded she felt when she found herself lying almost naked on his sofa.

‘Adam must have got you drunk,’ Lily declared flatly. ‘The boys said he put vodka in Jack’s beer on his stag night; it sounds to me as if he put it in your Babycham the night of the dinner dance.’

‘I’ve never felt so awful,’ Judy concurred.

‘Everyone gets drunk at least once in their life,’ Helen said, in an attempt to make Judy feel better.

‘Not everyone wakes up practically naked next to a man who isn’t even her boyfriend.’

‘Had he …’ Helen looked intently at Judy.

‘Yes.’

‘You’re sure?’ Helen pressed.

‘Yes,’ Judy whispered miserably, ‘Do you want me to go into the sordid details?’

‘Don’t!’ Helen felt sick at the thought.

‘Are you pregnant?’ Lily asked.

Judy shook her head. ‘I was worried for a couple of weeks, but I couldn’t tell anyone, not you, not Katie, not my mother. I was so ashamed I couldn’t bear the thought of anyone else knowing what I’d done. But if I had said something, you wouldn’t have danced with Adam tonight, Helen, and Jack …’

‘You do realise Adam raped you,’ Lily interrupted, seeing the incident as she knew her Uncle Roy would.

‘I tried telling him afterwards that I was a virgin, that I hadn’t wanted to sleep with him and I hadn’t known what I was doing, but he said I hadn’t given him that impression. He pointed out that he hadn’t had to force me, or even undress me because I’d done that myself. And it’s true, I did help him to undress me because I thought he was Brian and you can imagine how that would look if I told the police.’

‘Lily’s right, that’s still rape,’ Helen said forcefully. ‘You have to go to the police right away, tell them …’

‘Don’t you understand, Helen, it would be my word against Adam’s and he said everyone at the dance saw him trying to peel me off him after I’d had a few drinks. Besides, even if I did go to the police and they believed me, not Adam, everyone would know about it. I’d be pointed out as the girl who was raped …’

‘Oh, Judy.’ Lily hugged her.

‘My life is ruined. No boy will ever look at me again once they know about this.’

Helen tried desperately to think of something she could say that would help Judy.

‘It could have happened to any girl, anyone of us …’

‘Neither of you would have gone to the dinner dance with Adam, let alone allowed him to get you drunk,’ Judy contradicted.

‘I might not have got drunk with Adam but I did once with Jack,’ Helen revealed.

‘With Jack, when you were alone with him?’ Judy asked.

‘Yes.’

‘That’s the difference, you love Jack, he loves you and you trust one another. He would never have taken advantage of you the way Adam did me.’

‘If you won’t go to the police, then you have to forget it ever happened,’ Helen advised.

‘How can I?’ Judy’s eyes were dry but anguished as if her pain went too deep even for tears. ‘I thought – hoped – that Brian and I would get married some day. And now I feel like one of those women who go to bed with men for money. I loved Brian, he’s left me and no one is going to want me ever again …’

‘You’ve done nothing,’ Lily insisted adamantly.

‘No man wants a girl who’s slept with someone else. I’m dirty … damaged …’

‘You can’t believe that about yourself,’ Lily persisted.

‘You’re the same person you always were.’ Helen reached for her hand.

‘No, I’m not. Adam made me feel like a slut. As if I make a habit of getting drunk and going to bed with men I hardly know. I wanted my first time to be with Brian, to be special. Something we’d both remember.’

Helen recalled her first time with Jack, how much it had meant to both of them and she burned with anger when she thought of how Judy had been robbed of that by a man who had used and abused her.

But far worse was the thought that Judy really believed that there was no one else in the world for her except Brian, and how she’d probably never see him again. She knew just how Judy felt. It had been that way between her and Jack – and Jack had seen her kissing Adam but, unlike Brian, he would come back to her. She just had to believe it.

They all started at a knock on the door. The letter box opened. ‘It’s Roy Williams. One of the patrols said they saw a light on here. Are you girls all right?’

Lily pulled back the bolts, opened the door and gave him a hug.

He walked into the living room. ‘It’s after one. Why aren’t you in bed?’

‘We’re worried about Jack.’

‘Jack and Adam were both released without charges hours ago.’ He saw the forlorn expression on Helen’s face and added, ‘Jack was so exhausted from travelling down here he almost fell asleep at the station. Martin and Sam took him home. I’ve no doubt he’s sleeping now and will be out to see you first thing in the morning, Helen. Not that he’ll find a bright and sparkling wife as she’s still up at this time of night.’ Seeing the girls were exhausted, he stepped back into the hall. ‘As I’m on duty I’d better be off.’

‘Thanks for stopping by and telling us, Uncle Roy.’ Lily followed him to the door.

‘Pull the bolts behind me, love.’ As he opened the door he said, ‘I’m on mornings on Monday. Do you fancy calling in after work?’

‘I’ll make you tea.’

‘Good, I miss your cooking. Helen looks upset.’

‘We’ll look after her.’

‘Look after yourself, love. You should have been in bed hours ago.’

‘Katie …’ She fell silent as she tried to think how to tell him about Katie and John Griffiths.

‘Yes,’ Roy prompted.

‘She had an argument with Helen. She left with Mr Griffiths earlier tonight.’ One look at his face told her he already knew about Katie and John Griffiths.

‘You don’t have to worry about Katie, love. John will see she’s all right. In fact, knowing John she’s probably asleep at Joy’s right now. You won’t forget to bolt the door behind me.’

Chapter Twenty-eight

Helen glanced at her watch as she stood in front of the boys’ basement door. It was only just after nine o’clock. Worried sick about Jack, angry at what Adam had tried to do to her and Jack, and succeeded in doing to Judy – furious about her father and Katie – she hadn’t closed her eyes all night. Tired, irritable, she had a foul headache, but rejecting Lily’s and Judy’s advice that she might miss Jack who could be travelling in the opposite direction towards Limeslade, she had insisted on catching the first train out of Mumbles into town. But now she was terrified. What if Jack shouted at her for dancing with Adam – or, even worse, refused to speak to her at all? Steeling herself, she knocked on the door. It opened almost immediately.

‘Come in, Helen.’ It was as though Martin was expecting her.

‘I’ve come to see Jack.’

‘He left on the seven-o’clock train.’

‘I don’t understand.’ She looked around the kitchen in bewilderment, half expecting Jack to walk through the door.

‘He’s returned to camp, Helen,’ Sam explained.

‘When is he coming back?’

‘He’s not.’ Martin’s hand shook as he pulled out a chair for her. ‘This was his embarkation leave before leaving for Cyprus. He’s been posted there for at least eighteen months.’

‘No, he can’t …’

‘I’m sorry, Helen. Won’t you sit down?’

‘No!’ Without thinking what she was doing, Helen fled from the basement and ran to her father’s door, hammering on it until he opened it, still dressed in his pyjamas and dressing gown. Wrapping his arm round her shoulders, he closed the door and led her into the living room.

‘Jack’s gone,’ she blurted between sobs. ‘He was here yesterday and he saw me kiss Adam Jordan, and now he’s gone back to camp …’

‘You kissed Adam Jordan?’

‘Yes … no … I danced with him and he kissed me. It was to get his own back on Jack for some stupid prank. I didn’t want to kiss him; he only did it because Jack walked into the Pier …’

‘Sit down and calm down,’ he ordered. ‘I’ll make us a pot of tea. He couldn’t help thinking as he went to the kitchen how like Helen this was. Last night she had told him she was disgusted with him and she never wanted to see him again, and here she was, first thing in the morning, all thoughts of him and Katie driven from her mind by a misunderstanding – if that was the right word – that had sent Jack back to army camp when he should have been spending his leave with her.

‘You’re not shocked?’ Katie asked Joy as they sat over a pot of tea at the breakfast table.

‘No. And if you’d heard half the things I have from my customers over the years, you’d be unshockable as well. John Griffiths may be twenty years older than you but I watched you grow up. You had the knowing look in your pretty face of a forty-year-old when you were five years old, which is hardly surprising considering some of the things that went on in your house. John’s kind, gentle, if he has a temper I’ve never seen any sign of it, which is remarkable when you consider how long he was married to Esme. Her antics would have been enough to try the patience of a saint. But then, perhaps John is one.’

‘I love him and I know I can make him happy, Mrs Hunt,’ Katie said simply.

‘I wish you all the best, love. It’s not going to be easy for either you or John. People can be cruel – and envious – and it’s my guess Helen isn’t going to be the only one to say what she thinks.’

‘I know she’s not.’ Katie stared down at the crumbs on her plate.

‘You’re not sure you can face them?’ Joy questioned, wondering if she should point out some of the other problems that could lie ahead, if Katie did marry a man twice her age.

‘I’ve never cared what people say about me, Mrs Hunt, but I’m worried for John.’ Joy was oddly shocked at Katie’s casual use of John Griffiths’ Christian name, but schooled by years of experience in her salon she kept her composure. ‘John’s not like me, he’s so sensitive …’

‘Katie.’ Joy shook her head fondly at her. ‘You’re going to make him a wonderful wife. And twenty years isn’t that big an age gap. I’ve known lots of marriages – very successful ones – where the husband has been that much older than the wife – and more.’

‘Really! You’re not just saying that?’

‘No.’ The only successful marriages Joy had personal knowledge of where the husband had been twice the age of the wife were the kind where the wife had been given a blank chequebook and a lot of expensive jewellery, but somehow Katie didn’t seem to fall into that category.

‘Thank you, that means a lot to me.’ Katie’s eyes shone, like a child who’d just been shown a glimpse of Christmas.

‘We ought to talk about practical things. You can stay here until you’re married …’

‘Thank you, Mrs Hunt. I’d really appreciate that.’

‘And I could help you to organise your wedding, if you want me to.’

‘I haven’t spoken to John about it, but I know neither of us will want a fuss. Just the two of us in the Register Office.’

‘You’ll need witnesses and I think I can speak for Roy when I say we’d be honoured.’

‘What are you going to do?’ John asked Helen, as she was halfway through her second cup of tea.

‘I don’t know. I love Jack and now I won’t see him for years. That’s if he ever comes back …’

‘The way I see it, you have two choices,’ he interrupted, before another flood of tears materialised. ‘You can either stay in Swansea and cry, or buy a train ticket and go after him.’

‘To an army camp?’

‘He’s on leave and if I know soldiers he won’t be spending much time in the camp. He’ll be in the nearest pub drinking with his mates.’

‘And if he won’t talk to me?’

‘At least you will have tried.’

‘Thanks, Dad.’

‘What are you going to do?’ he asked as she left the sofa.

‘Find out when the next train leaves and if I have time, go home and pack before I catch it.’

‘I’ll telephone the station while you finish your tea. Then, if we’ve time, I’ll drive you home so you can get some clothes. Best take a few, you could be gone a couple of nights.’

‘You’re with your father?’ Lily looked in astonishment from Helen to her father’s car parked in the drive.

‘Jack’s gone back to camp. I’m going after him and I only have an hour to pack and get to the station to catch the next train.’

‘We’ll give you a hand.’ Judy ran up the stairs ahead of them.

‘Have you seen Katie?’ Lily asked, as they followed.

‘No.’

‘She isn’t with your father?’

‘She wasn’t in the house with him this morning that I saw. God! I said some awful things to them last night.’

‘Yes, you did.’

‘I’ll say sorry.’

‘Only if you mean it, Helen,’ Lily warned.

‘It will take some getting used to, Katie and my father.’

‘Yes, it will, but she’s still the same Katie you’ve always known. And your father is a special man. Just look where he is now, waiting outside for you, after you told him he disgusted you and ordered him and Katie out of the house.’

‘I’ll talk to him.’ Lifting a suitcase down from the top of her wardrobe, Helen started throwing things into it, the whole of her underwear drawer, six nighties. Five minutes later Lily fetched her toilet bag from the bathroom and laid it on top of everything before closing and locking the case.

‘If you’re missing something you’ll just have to buy it,’ Judy said practically.

‘Buy … I’ve only fifteen shillings in my purse.’

‘I can lend you some.’ Lily delved into her handbag. ‘I have two pounds and some change.’

‘I’ll pay you back as soon as I can.’

‘Take it off the rent.’

‘I can manage one pound ten shillings.’

‘Thank you.’ Helen hugged them in turn. ‘Wish me luck.’

‘Good luck,’ they shouted down the stairs at the back of the door as she rushed out.

‘Fifty pounds.’

‘Dad …’

‘You’ll need money. Go into the Ladies’ and hide it well. I borrowed it from yesterday’s takings in the warehouse and I paid for your ticket with a cheque.’ He handed it to her. ‘Look after it.’

‘I will.’ She ran into the Ladies, locked herself into a cubicle and pushed the roll of notes her father had given her into her bra. She didn’t dare hope, but if Jack did talk to her perhaps … she forced herself to think about something else, lest she jinx what little chance she had of saving what was left of their marriage.

‘Train’s in, you’ll have to run,’ John shouted, as she emerged on to the platform.

Throwing her arms around his neck, she kissed him. ‘Thank you, I don’t deserve a father like you, and tell Katie I’ll try to understand. I really will.’ She dived on to the train just before the porter closed the door. Pushing down the window, she added, ‘She’s a very lucky girl,’ just as the train started pulling out.

‘We weren’t sure whether you boys would come today, or not.’ Judy looked up from the deckchair she was sitting in, as Martin and Sam walked through the gate into the garden.

‘We didn’t bring Adam,’ Sam joked caustically.

‘After last night I don’t think any of us wants to see him again.’

‘You know Helen’s left?’ Lily asked Martin as he sat on the grass beside her.

‘Mr Griffiths called in after he took her to the station. He also told me what happened here last night with Katie.’

‘Have you seen Katie?’ Judy adjusted the straps on her swimsuit, pulling it higher.

‘Yes. She’s staying with Mrs Hunt until she gets married. Mr Griffiths also said he talked to Helen on the way to the station and he thinks she’s coming to terms with the idea of him marrying Katie.’ Martin reached for Lily’s hand.

‘I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to think of Katie as Mrs Griffiths,’ Judy said slowly.

‘She’ll always be our Katie.’ Lily smiled at Martin.

‘Come for a walk?’ he asked.

‘Do you mind, Judy?’

‘I don’t.’ Sam grinned.

‘I’m glad you said that, Sam.’ Judy smiled maliciously. ‘The grass needs cutting and there’s a pair of shears in the shed. You may need to sharpen them first but there’s a stone next to the back door that’s ideal …’

‘I’m no gardener.’

‘Practice makes perfect.’ She looked up at Lily and Martin. ‘What are you two waiting for? Go.’

‘Do you have a room, please?’

The manageress of the hotel looked Helen up and down, and made it obvious that she didn’t like what she saw. ‘Yes, but it will be twenty-five shillings a night. In advance.’

‘Does that include breakfast?’ Helen asked, incensed by the woman’s attitude.

‘Full English breakfast.’

‘If it is a double room, I’ll take it,’ she said decisively.

‘I see, you’re one of those.’

‘One of what?’ Helen questioned, mystified.

‘This is an army town …’

‘And I’m an army wife.’ Helen drew off her gloves and waved her engagement and wedding ring at the woman.

‘And I’m Princess Margaret.’

‘My husband has leave. I’m hoping he’ll join me here.’

‘And I don’t believe a slip of a girl like you has a husband.’

Helen opened her handbag and rummaged through the contents. She’d pushed a letter from Jack into it so she would have his full address. ‘There.’ She slammed the envelope down on the desk. ‘Mrs Jack Clay.’

‘And who’s to say that you are Mrs Jack Clay?’

‘Me.’

Helen turned to see Jack standing behind her.

‘You’re her husband?’

‘Yes.’

‘Are you staying here too?’

‘And if I am?’ Jack answered, avoiding the question.

‘It will be another ten shillings a night – in advance.’

‘Including breakfast,’ Helen pushed.

‘Including full English breakfast. Both of you have to sign the register.’ The woman handed Helen a pen. After she wrote down the Limeslade address, she handed it to Jack. As their fingers touched, he turned away and her heart pounded erratically. So much depended on what was going to happen in the next few minutes. ‘Room twenty.’ The woman waited until Helen handed over two pound notes, before pushing a key and five shillings change towards her. ‘The bathroom is at the end of the corridor on the right. Breakfast will be served from seven o’clock until half past eight tomorrow morning. If you are only staying the one night you will have to vacate the room by ten or pay for another full day’s occupancy.’

Helen took the key. There was a lump in her throat that prevented her from speaking, but even if it hadn’t been there, she doubted she would have been able to thank the woman.

‘Don’t bother to call a porter, I’ll carry my wife’s case.’ Taking it, Jack led the way up the stairs.

‘How did you know I was here?’ Helen asked, struggling with the key.

‘Martin telephoned the camp from Mr Williams’s house. He left a message that you were following on a later train. I would have met you at the station if I’d got it earlier, but it went round three barracks before it found me.’

‘But you didn’t know about the hotel …’

‘It’s the only decent place, or rather the only place a decent woman would go into for miles.’

‘That’s what the taxi driver said. But that woman was horrible.’

‘She’s used to tarts trying to book in.’

‘Tarts?’

‘Pros who want to make a few quid entertaining blokes in their room.’

‘How do you know about them?’

‘Barrack room talk.’ He looked coolly at her. ‘I haven’t scraped that low down the barrel in the six weeks we’ve been separated.’

Blushing, she opened the door, holding it so he could carry her bag in. ‘Thank you for coming to find me.’

‘This town is no place for a woman alone.’ He sat on the only chair in the room.

‘Be honest, if you had received the message in time to meet me at the station, would you have sent me back?’

‘That would have been difficult; there isn’t another train that reaches Swansea today. You’re a fool …’

‘I had to see you to let you know there’s nothing between me and Adam.’

‘I think that got sorted when he shouted he’d got his own back on me for what I did to him on my stag night.’

‘Then why did you run off this morning?’

‘Because when I saw you dancing with him, I realised there was no way I could hold you to a marriage when I was leaving the country for a year and a half. It wouldn’t be fair to ask you to stay in night after night and I couldn’t bear the thought of you going out with other men. So I decided it would be easier to end it.’