Sweet as Honey (29 page)

Chapter Twenty-Five

How appropriate that Bitsy would open the door with her trusty meat cleaver in her fist. Dan took a step back in case it slipped out of her hands and chopped off his foot.

“
Ach,
Dan. It's only you.
Cum reu,
but don't let any bees fly in with you.”

It's only you?
Who was she hoping to greet with that meat cleaver?

Dan tucked his bundle underneath his arm and pushed the door open wider. He gasped in amused surprise when he saw the new meat cleaver divot right in the center of the kitchen table. “Has the mouse been up on the furniture?”

Bitsy folded her arms with the cleaver still in her hand. It stood straight up like a stop sign. “Your mousetrap didn't work. I'm beginning to think you don't know anything, Dan Kanagy.” She motioned toward the window seat with her shoulder where the cat lounged in padded luxury. “Farrah Fawcett better have lost her sense of smell or I'm about ready to turn her out of the house for neglecting her mouse duties.”

As if summoned, that pesky mouse skittered from beneath the table and toward the storage room. Bitsy didn't even bother chasing it. She pitched that meat cleaver like a tomahawk in the mouse's direction. The mouse disappeared into the storage room unharmed. The cleaver landed with its pointy corner stuck an inch into the floor. Bitsy had a very
gute
aim. Still, Dan didn't like the idea of dodging meat cleavers every time he came over.

They really needed to get rid of that mouse while he still had toes and while Bitsy still had a wood floor.

Not to mention the fact that Farrah Fawcett's way of life was in jeopardy.

Bitsy pointed to her cat. “Farrah Fawcett, how could you not know he was hiding under the table this whole time? Don't look at me like that. I know you saw him.”

Farrah Fawcett deigned to lift her head and peer at Bitsy as if she were the scullery maid. Bitsy narrowed her eyes. That cat was treading on dangerous ground.

Dan held up the shoe box he'd brought with him. “I think I finally discovered a mousetrap that will work.”

Bitsy retrieved her cleaver from the floor. “I don't put much stock in your promises anymore, Dan Kanagy.”

He laid the shoe box, tape, and scissors on the table along with the gift he had brought in a brown paper bag.

She immediately peeled back the brown paper and raised an eyebrow. “Everclear and a shoe box? Do you want to get drunk and then go dancing?”

Dan chuckled. “
Nae
. It's a gift. My book says that Everclear is
gute
for removing propolis from frames because it's not toxic.”

“
Gute,
because I'll have you know that alcohol has never touched these lips before, and I'm not about to start now.” She leaned in close to whisper, “I have done a little dancing in my day, but don't tell the girls. I don't want them to get any ideas.”

He couldn't help but grin. “Of course not.”

“What's the shoe box for?”

“It's for the new mousetrap,” Dan said. “Very simple, and hopefully it will work.”

Dan carried the mousetrap supplies to the counter while Bitsy shoved the bottle of Everclear underneath the sink behind the garbage can. “I'll take this to the honey house when the coast is clear,” she said. “And
denki.
It's a thoughtful, innocent gift that no respectable Amish woman would buy for herself.”

Dan smiled. “All we need to do for this mousetrap is cut a trapdoor in the top so the mouse will fall through into the box. He won't be able to get out once he's in there.”

He drew a square on the lid, and Bitsy cut it out with the scissors. She seemed to have forgotten about her meat cleaver. Now would be a
gute
time to act. “Bitsy,” he said, cutting out a trapdoor from the sheet of cardstock he'd brought, “I need to tell you something.”

She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye and frowned. “Did you trample my dandelions on the way in?”

“Paul Glick has convinced Lily to sell your honey to him for a dollar a pint when he knows it's worth four times that much. He's using his friendship to cheat you out of your profits. He makes Lily feel guilty and tells her he's doing her a favor.” Dan put down the scissors and caught Bitsy's gaze. “He's not. And your family is suffering because of it.”

“I see.”

“There's a woman in Shawano who wants to buy all your honey for $4.00 a pint. She'll be here in a few minutes to talk to you about it. We can stop Paul from taking advantage of you.”

Bitsy spread her hands and leaned them on the counter. “Why are you so concerned with the price we get for our honey?”

“Because Paul shouldn't be allowed to cheat you like that.”

Bitsy looked at him as if she could read his mind. “Do you really want to help us? Or do you just want to get back at Paul for having first dibs on the girl you love?”

She knocked the wind right out of him. “How did you . . . what are you saying?”

She shook her head as if annoyed that she needed to explain herself. “I've got eyes. You've loved her since that first night you came to my door.”

Dan didn't even try to deny it. He sighed and slumped his shoulders until they were almost scraping the floor. “A lot longer than that.”

“No need to get dramatic. Boys have been in love with my girls before, you know.”

“I don't doubt it.”

“But you're different. Aside from the fact that you're not careful with dandelions, you're a
gute
boy who puts his love into action. I can get a lot of work done around here from a lovesick boy. It only stands to reason that you want to nudge Paul out of the way.”

“I never set out to steal another boy's girlfriend, but Paul isn't right for her. You probably can't see it, but he doesn't treat her well.”

“I see everything, Dan Kanagy, and don't you forget it.” She pointed her finger in his direction. “No more kissing on my porch.”

A shocked laugh escaped his lips. “You know about that?”

She curled her lips. “I do now.”

His mouth fell open. She'd tricked a confession out of him.

She didn't, however, waste time dwelling on it. “Rose, Poppy, and I have all been worried sick about how Paul treats Lily. Contrary to what you think, we can all see it.”

“If they marry, he'll crush her spirit.”

“He'd very nearly done it until you came along.” She taped the cardstock over the hole in the shoe box. “I asked
Gotte
every day to show me the way.” She inclined her head in his direction. “I prayed you here.”

Dan gazed at her doubtfully. “I've never been an answer to someone's prayer before.”

“Don't get a big head about it.”

“It only makes me anxious that I'll mess things up.”

“My Lily took it wonderful hard when her parents died. She buried herself in her books so she wouldn't have to linger in the pain. She has always been so sensitive, so easily wounded. She saw Paul as her champion during a difficult time in her life. She is very grateful to him.”

Dan felt the familiar lump in his throat. “If it hadn't been for me . . .”

“You were a pill, Dan Kanagy.”

“You have to believe I didn't mean for my teasing to hurt her.”

Bitsy nodded. “It doesn't matter how it was meant, only how it was taken. Eight years ago, I saw Paul Glick as an answer to my prayers. At least Lily had a boy who paid attention to her.”

The shame nearly choked him. “I know.”

“Lily feels that she owes Paul a huge debt of gratitude. Her loyalty overshadows every decision she makes and motivates her to excuse every mean and selfish thing Paul does. At her lowest point, when she felt ugly and unlovable, Paul gave her a little attention.”

She might as well have buried that meat cleaver in his chest.

Studying his face, Bitsy said, “What's done is done. You can't take it back.”

“I might not be able to fix it either.”

“Paul has shoved my Lily down so many times that she believes she doesn't deserve any better. And he's made her think he's wiser and more righteous than she is so she doesn't dare question him. We've done our best here at home to help her see herself the way she really is, but Paul's influence isn't easily undone.”

Bitsy draped her arm over Dan's shoulder, and he thought maybe her eyes got a little misty. “And then you showed up. You don't even know how to make a good mousetrap, yet you've done more good for my girl in one short month than Rose, Poppy, or I have done in years of trying. And you're about to mess it up because you want revenge on Paul Glick.”

“Not revenge. He's cheated you out of a lot of money over the years. I want to see you get the money you deserve.”

“Sounds like revenge at Lily's expense.”

“
Nae,
” Dan said. “I would never do anything to hurt Lily.”

Bitsy pinned him with a look that could have withered all her dandelions. “You told her you trust her to make the right decision about Paul. You told her you think she's smart.”

“I do.”

“Do you really? Because if you and I make this money decision for her, she'll know we don't truly have confidence in her ability to make the right choice. We'll crush her confidence as sure as Paul ever did. Even if I go broke, she has to know that I trust her to do what is best for our family. If you invite that buyer over, all your professed faith will evaporate and your words will sound hollow and insincere. That's what she gets from Paul. She doesn't need it from you.”

Dan ran his fingers through his hair. “I would never push her around or browbeat her into doing something she didn't want to do.”

“But that's exactly what you're doing. You're letting your anger cloud your judgment. Paul manipulates Lily to get his way. He thinks it's his right as a man and her future husband. He justifies himself by telling her she's not smart enough or by making her believe he's more righteous. He convinces her that her opinions and desires are worthless, that
she
is worthless.”

They heard the faint rumble of a car engine coming up the lane. Dan glanced at Bitsy. “There's the honey buyer.”

“Get rid of her, or break Lily's heart.”

Dan pressed his lips into a hard line and nodded. “I'll get rid of her.”

“Do you want to take my shotgun?”

Chapter Twenty-Six

Lily followed the car up the lane in her buggy. They didn't often get
Englisch
visitors at the Honeybee Farm, especially this late in the day. The sun had already dipped halfway below the horizon.

“Who do you suppose that is?” Rose said, peering out the window and clutching the potted chrysanthemum Mammi had given her.

Poppy squinted against the car's bright red taillights. “It looks like somebody with really big hair.”

The car stopped and parked behind the familiar open-air buggy that Lily had come to love seeing parked in her lane. Her pulse quickened at the mere thought of Dan Kanagy. He'd probably brought plans for a new mousetrap. Oh, that his designs would never work so he would have to come back again and again!

“Dan's here,” Poppy said, as if it were the best news they'd had all day.

Definitely the best news they'd had all day. The visit with Mammi and Dawdi had been taxing. Dawdi kept dropping hints that once Lily had married Paul, Poppy and Rose would move in with them. Lily and Poppy finally had to put their collective feet down to stop such talk. Even if Lily married Paul, there was no chance that Poppy and Rose would consider leaving Aunt B.

Rose fingered one of her tiny chrysanthemum petals. “It wonders me if Dan bought anything at the auction this morning. He said Josiah Yoder was going to help him pick out a heifer for the dairy.”

Lily pulled the buggy beside the car and set the brake. Rose left her chrysanthemum on the seat as Lily and her sisters climbed out of the buggy, linked arms, and stood between the buggy and the car ready to greet the
Englisch
visitor.

A middle-aged woman with curly, brown hair and impossibly long fingernails gave them a toothy smile and jumped out of her car. “Is one of you girls Bitsy? Dan Kanagy asked me to come by and talk to you.”

Lily smiled back. “Actually, we are her nieces. I'm Lily. This is Poppy and Rose. My aunt Bitsy is probably inside.”

The woman shook hands with the three of them. “I'm Carole Parker. I run a specialty market in Shawano. Dan says you have some honey you want to sell, and I'm ready to buy. The tourists love anything Amish, even honey.”

Lily gazed at her in confusion. “Dan asked you to come by?”

“Yes. He called me this morning and wanted me to talk to your aunt Bitsy about honey. He says the market here in Bienenstock doesn't pay you near enough, and he thought Bitsy would want to know she has options.”

“I'm in charge of selling our honey,” Lily stuttered, finding it hard to breathe. She'd already told Dan that she would sell to Paul. Hadn't she explained herself well enough? Her heart sank.
Jah,
she had explained herself fine. He simply hadn't approved of her decision.

The front door opened, and Dan appeared on the porch. “Carole,” he called, practically sprinting down the steps.

“Hi, Dan. It's nice to see you again.”

Dan barely acknowledged her greeting as his eyes darted from Lily to Carole and back again. “Something's come up, and today is not a good day. Can I call you later?”

Carole put her hands on her hips and did a quick visual inspection of the house and garden. “All right. I suppose you know where to find me.” She reached into her bright yellow handbag and pulled out a business card. “Do you like my bag? We sell these at the store. They're made by a local crafter. The tourists like local.” She slipped the business card into Lily's hand. “Call me when you're ready to sell. Don't let those folks at the Amish market shortchange you. I'll buy every pint you've got.” Carole climbed back into her car and spun the wheels before finding purchase on the gravel and backing down the lane.

A wave of nausea nearly knocked Lily over. She gazed after Carole, pretending to be very interested in the car inching its way off her property. Even though she didn't look, she could tell Dan was staring at her. Was he trying to find a way to soften his rebuke?

Poppy and Rose stiffened beside her. They were staring at her too, as if they'd suddenly figured out whom to blame for their money troubles.

Lily wanted to shrink into a little ball and blow away with the wind.

With her gaze squarely focused on Dan, Poppy turned on like a switch. She grabbed Rose's elbow, pulled her along, and marched toward the house. “We'll go see what B is up to.”

Just like that they disappeared, leaving Lily and Dan standing there all by themselves.

Dan slid his hands into his pockets. “It seemed like a good idea this morning,” he said weakly.

Lily felt sick at heart. “You didn't think I'd be here.”

His gaze intensified. “I was wrong to ask her to come. You're the one who makes the financial decisions.”

“You went behind my back,” she murmured, more to herself than anyone else. “Because I'm ruining the family finances.”

“You are not ruining anything. I shouldn't have invited Carole over. I wasn't thinking straight.”

Dan always talked a good story, but the truth was plainly written on his face. He thought he needed to save her and her family from her stupidity. All his talk of her being smart was just talk.

That knowledge hurt more than any name he'd ever called her. Dan, who'd claimed to have complete confidence in her, had gone straight to Aunt B. The shame nearly engulfed her. “I'm . . . I'm not as dumb as you think I am, Dan Kanagy. There are other things to consider besides profits.” Lily said, feeling her power sinking even as she tried to sound forceful.

“I know, Lily. You're right. I'm sorry.”

Even though Dan had backed down, Lily felt compelled to defend herself. “Paul is smart about these things. He gives us a lower price but takes on more risk by agreeing to buy all of my honey, no matter how much is left over at the end of the year. He loves me. He's willing to sacrifice profits so that we have a place to sell our honey no matter what.”

Something flared hot behind Dan's eyes. He suddenly wasn't backing down anymore. “Have you ever had honey left over?”

His question took her confidence down a notch. She didn't know how much excess honey Glick's Market had at the end of each year. Paul always took care of those details. “Paul loves me,” she said, her voice cracking like an eggshell. “He doesn't want me to have to worry about it.”

“It's so kind of Paul to take care of you,” Dan said, the bitterness evident in his voice. “You're barely scraping by on all that kindness.”

“What makes you think we're barely scraping by? Oh, I remember. You don't think I'm smart enough to manage the finances.”

“That's not what I mean.” Dan took a deep breath and spoke as if he'd really rather not say anything. “Paul's been taking advantage of his relationship with you to get your honey for dirt cheap.”

“Paul would never cheat me like that,” she said.

Dan ran his fingers through his hair. “You're right. I didn't mean to make it sound like I think he's cheating you. But he's playing on your sympathies and your innocence to get a better price.”

“My innocence?” Deep down, this is what he really thought of her. “You mean my stupidity. That's why you asked that woman all the way out here, because you think I can't manage my own money.”

Dan pressed his lips together, as if her words tasted bitter in his mouth. “You're five million miles from stupid, Lily, but you have a trusting, compassionate nature. Paul was good to you in the past. You want to believe he has the best intentions.”

Dan might think she was
deerich,
but things went deeper than the price of honey.

“It's not like that with Paul and me. What do you know of what we've been through together? Our first loyalty is to each other, always and forever.” Her voice sounded harsh, even in her own ears.

He frowned. “Always and forever?”

She felt so angry and hurt, she half didn't know what she said. “There are ties of loyalty and friendship and love that you will never understand.”

The fire in his eyes turned to cold, hard ice. He looked wounded and bewildered, as if she'd slapped him across the face. “I'll never understand loyalty and friendship?” He stumbled two steps backward. “Maybe you're right, Lily. Maybe I'll never understand how a sense of loyalty can blind someone to the faults of another person, or how friendship can be twisted into fear and submission. Is being obedient to Paul's wishes the same thing as love? Because that's not how I understand it.”

His look of yearning almost made Lily lose her composure. “If you care for another person . . .”

“Love shouldn't diminish you for the sake of someone else. Love lifts and builds and rejoices. It never tries to control you or make you feel guilty. It's kind and patient and hopeful.” He bowed his head. “If what you and Paul have together is real love, then you're right. I don't understand love, and I never will.”

Lily felt empty and cold, like an abandoned barn in the dead of winter. This past month, Dan had been her friend, someone she felt almost safe with. She'd let down her guard even though Paul had warned her not to. It ached in the deepest part of her heart that Dan thought so little of her. In his mind, not only was she a failure at business but she was a failure at love. A failure at everything.

“You're holding on to the past because it's safe there,” he said, “but Paul doesn't deserve you, and I'm dumbfounded you can't see it.”

He was dumbfounded by her stupidity.

His words felt like so many shards of glass piercing her heart.

She closed her mouth tight like she always did when Paul was cross with her. Better not to make things worse by arguing or disagreeing. She didn't even know who she was anymore. Where did she belong? Could anybody love her just for herself?

Paul could.

He always stuck with her, no matter how many faults she had.

Paul's loyalty gave her courage to open her mouth. “I know what you think of me, Dan Kanagy. You've said plenty. I may have done everything all wrong, but I've only ever wanted to do what's right. I've tried hard to be the kind of girl a boy would be proud to take as a wife. Paul doesn't think I'm a disgrace. He's willing to take me with all my flaws and failures.”

Dan scrubbed his fingers through his hair and growled like a bear. “I hate it when you put yourself down. Paul puts you down plenty all by himself.”

“And you think I'm an idiot to stick with him.”

“
Nae.
You are perfect, Lily.” He sighed despondently. “Lily . . . you mean so much . . . I've messed it up.” He closed his eyes. “I can't even say it right. Nothing is your fault. I lost my temper. I didn't call Carole because you can't handle your family's money. I did it to get back at Paul.”

“He said you hate him.”

“I don't hate him, but he has something that I want very much.” His sad smile made her heart beat double time. “That's what breaking one of the commandments will get me.
Thou shalt not covet.
I let my anger and longing overrule my judgment. Paul and his family have been dragging my
dat
's
gute
name through the mud for years because of a piece of land.”

“And you want revenge?”

“Raymond Glick came to my
dat
and asked him to buy the property because he was having some financial difficulties. My
dat
felt sorry for Raymond so paid the full asking price, even though the property was worth half that. We drained and seeded it, built a fence. We spent hours improving it so we could graze cattle there. Two years later Raymond wanted it back for less than we paid for it. My
dat
told him no, that we'd already put too much money into it. The Glicks haven't spoken to us for years. I suppose I've had a chip on my shoulder ever since Paul started calling my
dat
a cheat and a liar.”

Lily took a deep breath. She didn't want to argue. “That's not the story I got from Paul.”

He acted almost accepting of her distrust. “I know, and I can't blame you for believing his side of the story and not mine, especially when I hurt your feelings and he was nice to you.”

Lily nodded slowly. Her heart felt as hard as lead.

Dan gently curled his hands around her upper arms. “I've made so many mistakes. Calling Carole was just the latest. I never meant to make you feel stupid or ashamed, and I'm sorry about what I said about Paul. He means a great deal to you, and I shouldn't have spoken badly of him.”

She couldn't swallow. She couldn't breathe. He acted so humble, so gracious. So wonderful. And she didn't deserve his kindness. It was a wonder she could even speak. “Paul . . . and I have been through so much.”

He nodded. “I know I'll never be able to make up for what I did to you eight years ago.”

“I've already told you . . .”

“I know. You've forgiven me, but I also know the scars are deep, as is the bond you and Paul share. You've been trying to make me see that for a long time now.” His lips curled into a weary and pitiful smile. “I'm not going to bother you anymore, Lily. It's pure torture being near you, knowing you're promised to another man. I don't want to make you feel bad or uncomfortable or even guilty, but I'll never forgive myself if I don't tell you. I love you, Lily and have for a very long time. I love you so much that my joints ache and my heart hurts with longing for you.”