Sweet Desire (Tales of Dystopian Decadence Book 2) (8 page)

I took a deep breath in through my nose and held it for a moment. “What can I do?” I asked. “Nicholas is out there, goodness knows where, and I’m here in the dark.”

“Stay here and wait for him. That’s all anyone would ask of you.”

 “No!” It took all my will not to smash the watch against the countertop. “All anyone expects of me, asks of me, is to sit and wait – to do what I’m told, and be content with what I get in life. Well, I’m not doing that. I came here on the headmistress’s orders. I did everything Nicholas told me to do. Now there’s no one to guide me, so it’s my turn. I want to be with Nicholas, or at least help with the war somehow. Even if all I do is bandage one wound, hold one soldier’s hand as they die, cook one meal for someone supporting the effort, I will feel like I’m part of something. Please, let me do this.”

At first, Adette’s expression was stony, but her features softened and she said, “We’re going to need to act fast. First, we need to raid that hidden lab of yours…”

By nightfall, we had familiarized ourselves with Nicholas’ secret laboratory in the basement. This, I saw as we explored it, was where he got everything – all the food we needed, not to mention fabric and other materials. It was the most sophisticated set-up I had ever seen for farming, replication, and more. We gathered what we could use and checked the settings on all the automated equipment. Most of the items were channeled via ducts that sent them directly where they needed to go, such as food directly to the cooling chest or freezer.

It was no wonder Nicholas always found ways to keep me ignorant of everything he had working in his favor. That meant I could never be tortured for information, never lie about his resources. Only someone truly connected to the Constitutionals would be able to get the necessary information to make use of the laboratory. This ensured the Regime remained ignorant of the technology we had at our disposal.

“We have only one way out,” Adette told me as we packed our bags. “There’s a transport meeting me a mile north of here. If you want to come with me, this is your only chance.”

“Where exactly is here? I never figured that out.”

“We’re in the Alaskan tundra, between Circle and Barrow. I realize that doesn’t tell you much and that’s a huge area, but being in the middle of nowhere works in our favor. The Regime had to be desperate to send anyone up here looking for me, especially the commander himself. Korroziya doesn’t exactly make house calls, you know.”

“Wait…” I had to swallow hard as bile rose up in my throat. “That was Commander Korroziya?”

“The one and only. Don’t you feel special?” Adette winked at me. “This isn’t exactly familiar ground for them, especially with the Canadians and Native nations on our side.” She tossed her dark braid over her shoulder and zipped the backpack she had designated for me. I had done very little of the packing because, as Adette said, white gloves and pretty hats would do me no good on the war’s front lines. “Well, my prim and proper southern friend, are you ready for this?”

“I chose it, so I think I am. I’d better be.”

We took our bags downstairs and sat down to one last dinner in the warmth and security of the house. My stomach twisted in knots, but I forced myself to eat. The calories, Adette told me, were essential to my well-being in the tundra. My body needed energy to trek through the snow and to keep me warm. This wasn’t exactly a concern I had ever encountered in Georgia or L.A., so I took her word for it.

After we washed the dishes and put everything away, we checked the settings on all the electronics one last time. It was pitch-black outside and I couldn’t imagine how we would find our way. “Compass,” Adette told me. “It’s the most basic tool, but also the most important one. Failing that, we follow the stars, but it’s only one mile.”

“One mile in high snow,” I pointed out.

“Hence the snow shoes. They’ll keep us on top of the snow, and since there’s a storm forecast, that will cover our tracks. In fact…” She glanced out the window and a smile curved the corners of her mouth. “It’s already flurrying out there. We’ve got thirty minutes to make our ride, or we’re stuck here, so let’s go.”

“Thirty minutes to walk one mile?” I asked.

“Trust me, it’s not that far to walk.”

I nodded and started donning the layers Adette had chosen for me. By the time I was dressed and the backpack hung from my shoulders, I felt a bit lost inside the furs.

The trek through the snow, especially in the gathering storm, was a new experience for me. As was the lift we hitched on a military helicopter of some sort. Adette yelled over the noise of the chopper, “Our drop point is just over the border in the Northwestern Territory of Washington. After that, we’re on our own.”

“Where are we going?” I shouted.

“Back to where it all began.” She closed her eyes and rested her head against the curved interior of the helicopter, leaving me to wonder what would happen next.

Chapter 9

Dark alleyway? Check.

Same scene as a long-ago murder? Check.

Two Constitutional rebels skulking around incognito? Check.

I adjusted my cap, quieted the sarcastic voice in my mind, and shook my head. “This will never work. I don’t have the right attitude to make it convincing. You know I can’t do this.”

“You can and you will.” Adette peeked through the dark-framed window of the building I was standing against. Once upon a time, Smokey’s Dance Hall had been a meeting place for suffragists and Constitutionals. Now it was where the Regime soldiers stationed in L.A. went for a good time. It was here in this alley that Adette’s mother had died after a night of wining, dining and dancing, her death ordered by the very man she had served as a courtesan. I’m not sure what tugged at my heart more – the fact that Adette’s mother had been murdered, or the fact that it was on the orders of a man to whom she had sent love letters. It all seemed far too tragic to be true, yet it was the unfortunate reality of our corrupt world. I was not ready for this and I closed my eyes. It couldn’t shut out the noise of the music vibrating dully through the wall, but it could let me pretend I was somewhere else.

“Why can’t we just go back to the school?” I asked.

“And lead the Regime there?” Adette shook her head. “I’m sure they’ve already figured out the headmistress is playing both sides, and using us to do it. We can’t risk giving them evidence to back up any such suspicions. You wanted to help, so do what you do best – please those men. Make them feel special, get them to talk to you. Find the right one and let him think he can spill his secrets. You’re just sweet enough to do it without raising suspicion. We need to ascertain where we stand and I know you can do that.”

“Right. I do want to help.” Anything to see Nicholas again, and as soon as possible. “Wish me luck.” I let my shoulders drop, but tension still kept my body taut. Then I sauntered around the corner. With my purple hat and small mesh veil, and rather clingy purple dress with frills all along the front of the open skirt, I looked like I belonged in a dance hall. Adette had chosen the outfit to accentuate my eyes and draw attention to my black-stockinged legs, which were exposed up to the knee in front. It was an audacious costume – one no well-bred lady would wear, but no well-bred lady would be here.

As I stood just inside the front door, the laughter, music, and perfume emanating from the interior all reminded me of home, and it eased some of the tension from my body. There was long wooden bar inside the front door along the right side of the dance hall, round tables and chairs arranged across the black carpeting, booths along the opposite wall, and a large wooden dance floor before a stage. On the stage, a big band played a rousing tune and patrons moved to the beat. 

For a moment, rage heated me. How could they dance when their true leader was out there putting his life on the line for them? How could they act like there was nothing wrong with our world when everything had turned upside down and never righted itself?

Then I let go of my breath and turned to the bar. This wasn’t about indignation or even revenge for me. This was about information. The more I could learn, the better I could help the Constitutionals.

I stepped up to the bar and smiled before asking, “How ‘bout a Sangria, sugarplum?” in my most exaggerated drawl. While the bartender prepared my order, I slid onto the barstool, crossed my legs – a little too aware of how bare they were in public – and tapped my hand against the bar in time to the music.

Once I had my drink, I sipped it while I scanned the room. The lively music provided a strange counterpoint to the thrumming of my heart and only ratcheted up my anxiety several more levels. How was I going to choose the right person to get information out of? How would I ditch someone if they didn’t have what I needed? How would I do all of this without causing suspicion? Granted, the school had trained me to be the perfect companion, but this was not exactly the kind of situation I’d anticipated encountering. Still, I possessed both the talent and training to conquer it. I just needed the mindset.

“I’m buying the lady’s drink, and another when she’s done.” Paper wafted down to the bar just within my peripheral vision and I felt someone sidle up to my right shoulder. Great, now there was someone between me and the door. Then again, it was also an opportunity if I let myself see it as such. So I took a long, deep breath, turned my head to get a look at the person, and felt my jaw drop. 

“Close your mouth,” he said quietly, “and drink up. It’ll help with the charade.” He raised a brandy glass to me, then downed the fiery liquid in a single gulp.

There was no way I could take my gaze off those eyes – those eyes that were the blue of a familiar Alaskan sky… The green military dress uniform he wore only accentuated them, bringing out fleck of gray I’d never noticed. I tipped my glass to lips and hissed, “What are you doing here?”

“Apparently the same thing you are,” Nicholas murmured, casting his eyes down as he lit a cigarette. “Except my costume isn’t nearly as fetching as yours.”

“So you’re seducing the enemy for information about your own whereabouts?”

His lips quirked and he blew out a steady stream of smoke before answering. “In a manner of speaking, yes. Why don’t we discuss it in on the dance floor?” He extended a hand and I looked down at it. “Violet,” he said, “let’s go. Now.”

I took his hand and followed him to the wooden floor where the other couples danced. Nicholas dropped the cigarette in an ashtray at an empty table and pulled me into his arms. Part of me was happy to know he was safe, but my curiosity was overwhelming. Why was he here? What happened to him while fighting on the front lines?

“Yes, I know you’re surprised,” he said in that uncanny way he had, “but I’d like to know what you’re doing here too, especially if your plan is to sleep with Regime soldiers.”

“That’s not quite what I intended,” I stuttered.

“Isn’t it?”

When I lifted my gaze to his, I realized he wasn’t looking at me with censure, but concern. “I was worried about you. You left me with no information, no idea of where you were.”

“I did it for your own safety. Don’t you have any common sense?” Even though his words were harsh, I knew him well enough now to understand the fear behind them. He couldn’t lose someone again…

Still, heat flushed my cheeks when I responded, “If you had any common sense, you might have told me about the hidden laboratory in the basement, instead of always conveniently forgetting to show it to me! When Adette came banging on the door, followed by Regime soldiers, I didn’t know what to do. Thank goodness my father briefed her on that little surprise!”

“If you had known, would you have been any less rattled?” Nicholas’ fingers squeezed around mine, and then he sighed. “If
I
had any common sense, I would have done the formal collaring ceremony before I left. Then you would have been bound to follow my orders. Well, since it’s too late, I’ll just do it now and then send you somewhere safe.”

“What?” My eyes grew wide and I glanced around the dance hall. “You can’t be serious.” A collaring ceremony? Here? And… wait…
A collaring ceremony
? Most submissives aspired to that kind of commitment. It was supposed to be one of the most special days of my life. I needed time to prepare for it, to really consider it.

“Let’s go to my room and I’ll show you how serious I am.”

“No.” I started to push away from him, but I remembered where I was. Making a scene would only draw more attention to us, so I lowered my voice and added, “Not until you tell me what is going on.”

Nicholas glared at me. “I thought the school had sent me a submissive, but you do have a stubborn streak, don’t you?”

“All you wanted was a maid,” I shot back at him. “If you want more, there’s going to need to be trust on both sides, don’t you think? This isn’t the time or place to make snap decisions. This is where we need to learn to trust each other.”

For once, he appeared defeated. He heaved a sigh and nodded. “You’re right. I need to stop being so hardheaded myself. Will you come and have a talk with me, Violet?”

I nodded too, mollified by this change in his attitude. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and guided me past the stage, then up a narrow staircase to a hall lined with doors. Withdrawing a key from his pocket, he unlocked a door at the end of the hall and gestured me inside. The room was not particularly impressive. There was a bed, a dresser, a closet, and a small washroom with a sink and toilet.

“You realize I can’t tell you everything,” he said, loosening the knot in his tie. “Not here, anyway, but one day when we’re back home and this is over, I’ll explain.”

“Back in the cabin?” I asked, trying to choose my words carefully.

“Maybe that, maybe somewhere else.” He lit another cigarette. “I know, it’s a disgusting habit,” he said when he caught my eye. “But cut me some slack while I’m here.”

“What are you doing here, then?” I sat back on the bed and watched him pace the room like a caged lion. Any tension I felt evaporated once I saw his anxiety. All I wanted to do was take him in my arms and let him know everything would turn out alright, no matter what.

“There is fighting out there, that’s the truth,” he said. “We’ll be part of it soon enough. However, I came here looking for a specific person. He’s the one who killed my wife, Lydia, and I want the satisfaction of taking him out before anyone else gets to him.”

I sat there in silence for a moment before I said, “That’s a dangerous game to play. Adette did the same thing to avenge her mother, and look at her now – on the run from the Regime, trying not to get caught as she fights them.”

“Yes, but I’ve been on the run in my own way for almost twenty years.” Nicholas set the cigarette in an ashtray on the dresser, then sat next to me and took my hands in his. “What good has accepting exile in the forsaken land done me or anyone else? None whatsoever. But the moment your friend did what she did, everything changed. People realized it took only one person to take big steps to undo a major injustice. So another person, then another person, and then another and another took matters into their own hands, emboldened by what she did. Now look at us – we’re at war again, yes, but we know we can win. We know we don’t need to sit back and accept the Regime. Your friend started this revolution. Now help me finish it.”

“I’m here now,” I said.

“After I forbade you from following me, you did it anyway.”

Squaring my shoulders, I said, “You bet your ass I did. You told me my job was not to fight, but it’s everyone’s job – including mine – and you know it. The moment Adette brought Regime soldiers to our front door, I knew I couldn’t sit and wait anymore.”

“They came to the cabin?” Nicholas’ hands tightened on mine.

“They did, led by Captain Korroziya himself.”

He bowed his head and muttered “Shit” under his breath. Then he reached up and tugged at his tie, as he glared at me through narrowed eyes. “Anything could happen now. Anything. Do you understand that?”

“More than you know.”

“So before that happens, I want to make something absolutely clear to you, Violet – I love you and I want you belong to me. I want you to be mine and if you’ll let me, I want to make this official.” He tossed his tie on the bed and rose to his feet.

“What?” My gaze darted from side to side. “Here? Now?”

“Better late than never.” He opened the top drawer of the dresser in his room, then turned to me with something in both hands. “I got this the moment I arrived in the city. It’s something I couldn’t wait to bring back to you, if I somehow lived through this. So I’m glad you’re here, even if I didn’t want you caught up in the middle of everything.”

What lay in his hands made me catch my breath and my hands drifted up to touch my neck. There it was – a ring of silvery metal with purple colored gems inlaid around it. A heart-shaped diamond hung from a ring on it. It was extravagant, and so very…

“Beautiful,” I said, barely able to breathe. “It’s so beautiful.”

“The amethysts made me think of you – violet gems for my Violet girl.” He stepped closer so I could see the details. “Do you want to wear my collar?” he asked.

I looked up at him and nodded. As much as this wasn’t the time or place I’d expected to do this, I knew at the moment that it was right. We had thrust ourselves into this situation and we both needed to know we were there for one another. “I do want to wear it,” I said. “I want to belong to you.”

“Then kneel for me and think about what I say to you.”

Without hesitation, I took up the position he commanded, my knees pressing into the well-worn brown carpet. My heartbeat had not settled into a regular rhythm from the minute I set foot in the dance hall, and now it quickened for a very different reason than fear. Anticipation. There was always something sensual in the act of kneeling; there was something even more exciting about doing it here, surrounded by the enemy.

Nicholas must have felt it as well, because his eyelids dropped slightly and his lips parted for a long moment before he said, “When you accept this collar, you accept me as your Master and protector. Do you understand, Violet?”

“Yes,” I responded.

He walked around behind me and I kept still, waiting to see what would happen next. “There will be no debate when I give you an order, no refusing to obey me, and no running away when things get tough. Do you understand?”