Sweet Downfall (14 page)

“Anything can be a motive.”

Something flickered in his eyes. It could have been pain but no, impossible. Those eyes were as unyielding as twin orbs of diamond.

“See that?” He pointed at something beside her.

Embarrassment heated up her cheeks.
The statuette discreetly standing on a table beside her was the acclaim he received several years ago as Best Director at the Cannes Film Festival for his independent feature film, Boy Soldier, a true story about the youngest member of a Muslim militant, terorist organization from South East Asia. She had seen the movie and was moved beyond words by its depth and sensitivity. It was, raw, gutsy and provocative, raved about by international critics as a
tour de force
in independent film-making. That movie put Jaq in the map as one of the most credible and talented filmmakers in Asia. Boy Soldier harvested more international acclaims, and it swept the local awards, too. He absolutely needed no publicity. His works alone spoke of his excellence.

“Revenge, then,” she finally added.

His expression became shuttered. “Now, that’s interesting. Revenge. Tell me, Angie, why would I want revenge on you and your family?”

His voice had gone an octave lower, so soft now, but not quite a whisper; more like a caress. But she knew it was nothing tender. It was the soothing voice of a predator, cooing to its prey while its fangs were ready to strike at a mere sign of weakness.

God, he hates me. He really hates me.

“Because my father put you in jail eight years ago,” she stated, willing herself not to remember the fear and pain she’d felt that time. She had been so young and so in love. But that love was put to the test all too soon and she was helpless against the mighty forces that tore them apart.

A small muscle on his left temple flexed, the only indication that she hit a nerve somewhere inside his seemingly impenetrable heart.

“You think that’s enough motive for me to want revenge?”

“Yes.” She willed herself to withstand the laser-like intensity of his stare.

He stood up and crossed the short distance between them. He slowly knelt in front of her.

She couldn’t look away from those dark, hypnotic eyes. Just like before, she was drawn to their depths, even against her will.

His hand reached out to trace her cheek but his fingers didn’t touch her skin. She only felt the warmth emanating from them. It had been a long, long time when he last touched her. She should no longer feel anything for him. But for the life of her, she was dissolving into a million silky fragments, quivering, fluttering like fragile butterfly wings.

“You’re still so beautiful,” he murmured softly

“Jaq…don’t…”

“Don’t what?”

“Don’t…touch me.”

“I’m not.”

“I’m…getting married,” she blurted, as if that fact could defend her from the powerful force of his sensuality.

His hand slowly dropped to rest on his knee. “You look different.”

You look the same, only more good-looking…more…more…
“How so?”

“You look like an ice queen now, not the woman I remember years ago.”

That hurt. She was not an ice queen! Or was she? She didn’t want to examine her psyche now, especially from his point of view. “That was a naive girl you remember. Yes, I’m different now. People change. For the better.”

His head slanted, as if to peer at her more closely. “For the better? I don’t think so. I like the Angie before. The Angie I thought I knew.”

“You didn’t know me that much before and you don’t know what I have become today.”

His lips curved into a semi-smile. “I don’t know what you have become. I only see what you no longer are.”

She shouldn’t be affected by his words. His opinion of her character meant nothing to her now. But she couldn’t resist asking him anyway. “And what is that?”

His eyes traveled to her neck, and then her chest. It stayed there for several moments then it continued down to her legs and feet clad in slip-on flats. She was dressed decently in a pair of long floral-printed skirt and white, soft cotton blouse, but she felt suddenly bare, as if he had visually stripped her for his leisurely inspection.

She fought the urge to cross her arms in front of her. It would give away the discomfort she was feeling and she didn’t want him to know how he was affecting her.

“The warmth, the spirit, the strength, the passion...You no longer have them.”

Her already raw nerves were inflamed further. “You don’t know me!”

“Yeah and I don’t care, really. But I pity the man who’s about to marry you.”

She abruptly stood up, breathing fast, fuming at his insults, at the conflicting feelings she felt for him, at the injustice of it all. “How dare you! Who are you to judge me?!”

He stood up, too. “Who am I?” He pointed to his chest. “Let me ask you the same question. Who am I, Angie? What was I to you back then? Can you actually blame me if I have a low opinion of your character?”

Her throat constricted and her eyes burned with the tears she couldn’t shed in front of him. “Jaq…I–”

“Why did you come here? To dig up old dirt? Frankly, I’m not at all in the mood to shovel shit from the past. They stink like hell and I’d rather they remain buried for good.”

He was right, of course. There was no sense dredging up old dirt. She squared her shoulders. “Once and for all, answer me then, Jaq. Did you leak the video?”

He shrugged. “Maybe I did.”

He could have just put his hands around her throat and squeezed hard, choking the life out of her. She shook her head. “No…You don’t mean that...”

His smile was sadistic. “Why not? You deserve it. You and your father and your brothers deserve it. In fact, it’s not enough. You deserve more. You deserve a lot more.”

She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. He suddenly morphed into this terrible monster. She actually thought…hoped that he was still the Jaq she had known before, the wild but sensitive and sweet man she had loved with all her heart and soul. But he turned out to be just like what her family had always thought of him, a good-for-nothing opportunist who would do anything to better his life.

Now, he had stooped so low as to make money out of the only great thing that happened between them. Their love. Or was it even love to him? Apparently, it didn’t mean a damn thing to him at all!

“So, what are you gonna do about it, Angie? Sue me?”

“You bastard!” she choked out.

“Thanks but I already know that for a fact.”

Fury filled her chest to suffocating intensity. She never thought she could ever feel hate for him, but now she did. She really hated him in that moment. “How could you?!”

He let out a short, jeering laugh. “Oh come on, be practical. You want a take from the profit? I’m game. After all, we did that video together and we had fun, didn’t we?”

She was shaking inside but she willed herself not to unravel in front of him. He would really love to see that. “You destroyed my life!”

His eyes became glacial as the arctic. “And what do you think you did to mine?”

No, Jaq, don’t tell me that. I gave you everything. Everything
! “You hate me that much?”

“Hate is a very abused word. Just like love. I feel neither for you.”

She didn’t know how she was able to stand there and endure their conversation. But no matter how painful this revelation was, it was just as well. She can finally write him off as a terrible mistake she’d committed in the past and bury him for good. She won’t have any more ‘what ifs’ in her mind. Certainly no more regrets.

“You’re despicable,” she uttered in pure disgust.

“And you think you’re any better?”

That did it. Her insides shook with the violence of her contradicting feelings for him. How did she ever fall for this cold-blooded bastard? Love was indeed blind and she was a damn blind fool! “Daddy was right! You’re good for nothing! I was a stupid fool to believe all your lies! You were nothing but an opportunist! You used me!”

Fire seemed to leap out of his eyes. His fists clenched as if he would hit her.

She stepped back, intending to flee but the edge of the sofa prevented her.

“There you are. I thought you’ve turned into a cold fish,” he taunted her.

“I’m leaving…”

“Just to set the record straight, you snotty, high and mighty, stuck-up bitch, it was you who used me. What were you then, huh, Angie? An itchy pussy dying to get scratched for the first time? Did you and your fancy friends talk about how you were gonna get it off with me? Me, the lowly bastard who was dying to get in your panties like a dog after a bitch in heat? Hmm?”

She cringed at the obscenities he was spewing. Maybe she earned the slander by casting the first stone but it hurt so much.
Oh God, Jaq, please, stop.

“Tell me, was it good for you? Did I measure up to your expectations? Did you gossip about me with your friends afterwards? About my performance? Did you compare me to the boys you had after me? Did you?”

She leaned back and slapped him hard in the face.

The impact jarred her entire arm, making her wince in pain. She was immediately horrified at her violent outburst. She was never the temperamental type.

He lazily rubbed his injured cheek, smiling insolently.

She couldn’t take any more. She turned to flee.

He grabbed her arm. “Not so fast.”

In reflex, her hand lashed again, hitting his face. It was not anger this time but self-preservation. She didn’t want him touching her in any way!

He cursed and grabbed her wrists and had her manacled and anchored against his hard frame in mere seconds. She cried out in combined rage, hurt, and shame at the way her body was betraying her reason, even after discovering that Jaq was as vile as her father had told her he was. But she was no match to his superior strength.

“Now, this is the Angie that I want,” he rasped, his voice, low and sensual. “Feisty.”

She was breathing fast, hating him so much she might explode with it. “Damn you, let me go!”

He held her tighter, his grip punishing. He was toying with her, knowing how vulnerable she was. “Let me go or I swear to God, I will put you in jail for this!”

He grinned evilly. “Baby, have you forgotten? The world is watching our video right now. There’s no rape there. Just good ol’ sex.”

It was a humiliating truth. “I will scream the house down! Your neighbors will hear and they will have you arrested!”

“Go ahead. My neighbors are used to women screaming in here they won’t even bother to check. But if they do, do you want them to see us together? It will make us more famous. Our sex video will sell more copies, too.”

The thought of them dominating the headlines again left her nauseous. It will totally destroy her family name, or what was left of it. Now she realized it was a huge mistake to come here.

He licked her cheek slowly, leaving a narrow, wet track of saliva from her chin to her earlobe. It was so carnal that she wanted to cringe in disgust but she felt her insides clench in acute longing instead. He used to lick her just like that all over…

“No, Jaq. No!” she managed to say weakly.

He suddenly hauled her up like she weighed nothing and lowered her on the sofa. She tried to kick him but he held both her legs fast, clamping his big hands around her ankles like vise grips. He wedged himself between her legs, trapping her in a position so sexually dominant she felt powerless to get away. There was no doubt as to his physical state at the moment.

She had a very aroused male lying atop her.

He shoved her skirt up and ripped the flimsy scrap
of underwear off of her.

Angie’s entire being was screaming in denial but she watched in helpless anticipation as his long fingers combed through the thin, triangular patch crowning her womanhood. His hand was so dark in contrast to the fair skin of her inner thighs.

He let out a feral groan. “So beautiful…” He gently separated her smooth, pink folds, unfurling her most intimate folds to his eyes.

She felt wide open, as if her very soul was exposed to him, too. No man had ever been this intimate with her. No one else but THIS man.

The first gentle brush of his thumb against her clit made her shudder in helpless, sinful delight.

Her conscience wailed. This shouldn’t be happening! She should not permit this! Her body was pledged to another man. This man’s hands had no business touching her this way, violating her!

But her conscience was deaf against the carnal need that lay siege to her entire being in that moment. She couldn’t help it. She had missed him. So much.

Jaq. Her first and only lover.

She couldn’t hide her eager response to him any more than he could. He had taught her young and innocent body how to receive and give pleasure and she hadn’t forgotten how it felt, even after all these years of abstinence from sex. He knew just how to twist and turn, to press and pluck and dip using her own slippery juices, and she gave in to her body’s need to be petted and loved again.