Sweet Dreams (Sunset Dreams Series Book 1) (24 page)

Chapter Thirty-Five

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before. Edgar Allan Poe

I
n New York I’m so tired I can barely walk. After going through immigration and customs, I grab my bags and head to the ticket counter to find a flight to San Francisco. Finding a plane leaving in two hours, I plunk down my credit card and make a quick call to my dad to let him know my arrival information.

On the plane I try to sleep, but every time I close my eyes, visions of Jake on top of me keep my stomach in painful knots. I try to watch a movie, but the only one this flight is showing is Jacob’s recent release.

Instead, I keep my eyes on the window next to me and listen to Dire Straits “Sultans of Swing” watching the horizon as the plane chases the sun.

My dad and Nina are waiting for me at the airport when I arrive. I’m so relieved to see them both, I run into their arms. Nina gives me a big hug and my dad grabs my bags.

“Come on, honey, let’s go home.” My dad wraps his arm around me and we walk to the car.

Nina and my dad ask me all about my trip on the way home and I tell them about my time in Naples and the ruins in Pompeii. I don’t mention anything about my time in Amalfi.

By the time we get to my dad’s house, I’ve fallen asleep in the back seat. Nina gently shakes my leg, waking me, and we all walk into the house. It’s nighttime here and I’m so tired. Blaming it on jet lag, I let them know I’m tired and my dad and Nina send me to bed. As soon as my head hits the pillow I pass out.

I dreamt Jake and I were making love. He kept whispering “I love you, I love you” into my ear. When I opened my eyes and found myself alone and in my old room at my dad’s house, I cried so hard I could barely breathe.

I wake in the morning feeling drained; emotionally, physically.

Empty.

Taking a shower, I get dressed, and downstairs Nina makes me some toast and coffee.

“What’s wrong, honey?”

She knows me so well.

“Nothing, just tired.” My eyes are swollen and I look a mess. I barely had enough energy to pull my hair back.

“When you are ready to talk about it, I’m here.” Nina squeezes my arm and leaves me to myself.

I don’t want to talk.

I want to sleep without dreaming.

I’ve been with my dad for a week now. When I turn my phone back on I find I have another twenty missed calls from Jake and I delete my voicemails without listening to them.

Sitting on the back porch I take out my phone when a text message comes in, cursing myself for not turning it back off.

Can u at least tell me u r alive?-J

Deciding the only way to get him to stop calling is to text back, I send him a message.

I’m alive. I had to leave unexpectedly. Sorry I didn’t say goodbye.-Me

Thank God!!! I am calling u now-J

My phone rings, but I don’t answer. I can’t bear to hear his voice and I stare at the screen until it stops ringing. He sends me another text.

Jen, pick up the phone!-J

Tears track down my cheeks, but I have to get him to stop calling. I can’t take it. My hand shakes as I type out my response.

I don’t want to be friends anymore-Me

What? Jen, this is crazy, pick up the phone!-J

No, please don’t call me again. Goodbye Jake-Me

My phone rings immediately. Jake calls three times and it takes everything in me not to answer.

I turn my phone off and don’t turn it back on again for another week.

Chapter Thirty-Six

In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on. Robert Frost

A
fter two weeks with my dad, it’s time to go back home to Maple Grove. Both he and Nina know something is wrong, but they haven’t pushed the issue. My dad drives me back and when he leaves I take a hot shower and cry myself to sleep.

In the morning I walk over to the café. Laney’s working and is happy and surprised to see me.

“Oh my God, what are you doing here? I didn’t know you were back.”

I give her a hug and tell her I got back last night. She asks about my trip and I give her the same version I gave my dad and Nina. She updates me on the business and I spend the rest of the morning in the corner going over the books. It seems she and Jer really did have everything under control. The café is doing well. Better than ever actually with the open mic nights bringing in more business.

“So it looks like you and Jer have everything under control.”

I’m relieved and a little sad at the same time.

“Everything went fine while you were gone.”

“Good. Thanks, Laney.”

“You’re welcome.” She gives me another hug and goes back behind the counter.

I hang out with her a little longer asking what is new with her. She tells me work has been keeping her busy, of course, and that her cat is pregnant. Asking if she has been on any dates recently, I take notice of how she clams up, which makes me wonder whom she might be seeing.

I hope whoever he is doesn’t break her heart. She’s an amazing person and deserves the best.

Jer stops by the cottage later that night to welcome me back, excited to tell me about the music program he’s put together. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him this animated. He tells me about all the people that have played while I was gone. It’s really great to see him and I’m happy to have something to talk about other than my trip. After a little while he leaves the cottage to go back to the café for the evening rush and I go to bed early.

The next day I meet Jer for lunch.

“Jer, I was wondering if you wanted to stay on at the café.”

“Yeah. I love it. I can play music, meet other musicians, and I have a lot of other ideas for the music program I want to share with you. There are so many more local musicians than I realized here that want a place to play.”

He has a gleam in his eye that I have never seen before. Smiling at him I announce, “I was thinking more about a partnership.”

Jer looks at me and waits for me to go on.

“I love the café, but there are other things I want to do. It takes up so much of my time and you and Laney really seemed to keep everything together while I was gone. I was thinking of offering Laney a position as General Manager and a partnership opportunity. She’s smart and motivated and I wanted to know if you’d also be interested in being a partner in the business?”

Jer looks stunned. I don’t think he expected this, but my gut tells me it’s the right direction.

“I don’t know what to say. Jen, thank you, but I don’t have any money to invest.”

“Jer, the café is doing really well. Since you started the music program, our business has doubled. I was thinking about a working partnership. It would give me more time off and you and Laney could build work equity. That is, if you’re interested.”

“Are you sure?” I can tell he wants this by the look on his face.

“Yes, I’m sure. We’ll work out the details later, but think about it.”

“I will. Thanks, Jen.”

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Friendship is certainly the finest balm for the pangs of disappointed love. Jane Austen

October

T
he last few months have been good. Laney and Jerry decided to take my offer. They both earn a small salary and are building sweat equity in the business. The café is doing better than ever and I really only work a few hours a day three to four days a week. It has given me time to see my dad and Nina more; time to see my friends. I took a weekend trip to San Diego at the end of August and spent some time at the beach by myself. I’ve started writing again. Different ideas I put down on paper so I don’t forget them. Who knows, someday they could turn into something. All my free time has also given me time to think. Think about what I want to do now. Think about my goals. Think about my dreams.

Think about Jake.

He stopped calling my cell. Jer told me in July and August someone kept calling the café and hanging up. It finally ended. I really miss Jake, but I know this is for the best. I know now I can’t be just friends with him. I love him, but I want and need someone who loves me back. I haven’t talked to him since I’ve been back in Maple Grove. I needed this time to get my head together.

To move on.

Anna and Jasmine could both tell something was wrong after asking about my trip to Italy. They both called me weekly trying to get me to admit why I was depressed. In September, they staged an intervention one weekend and both showed up on my doorstep. It was great having them here with me. We ate ice cream and talked all weekend.

God I love them both so much.

They didn’t push me. They both know I won’t talk about something until I’m ready. Anna insisted whoever he was, he was a fool. Jasmine called him all sorts of names, making me burst out laughing. Lint Licker was one of the best. I insisted there was no one, I was in a funk, but they knew. We looked at old pictures and cracked up laughing about some of the things we did as kids. By the time they left, I started to feel like myself again.

Maybe someday I’ll meet someone. For right now, I’m too busy getting to know myself again to think about dating. I’m excited about the number of possibilities ahead of me now that I have more time for myself. I’ve become a list maker. Goals, travel destinations, and hobbies I want to try occupy my thoughts now.

Today I’m at home listening to the radio and catching up on my laundry. I pull my clothes out of the dryer, carry the basket into the living room, when I hear the announcer on the radio.

“
Jacob Walker has signed on to the new romantic comedy All Grown Up. It’s a departure from his regular action-packed thrillers. The film is slated to start shooting next month. In other news…”

Holding my breath as soon as I hear Jake’s name, not wanting to hear about a wedding, I now release the air in my lungs and the shirt I was twisting in my hands back into the basket. I’ve avoided TV and magazines like the plague, too scared I would see something about him and Amy, but I smile softly to myself at this news.