Sweet Heat Rising (Thoroughbred Men Series)

Dedications

To my beloved husband, thank you for putting up with me - you are my life.

Mom and Dad, thank you for not reading the ‘naughty bits’ cause that would traumatize me. Tina, you seriously make me look good and worth every cent-what would I do without you?

Jill Myles, you are amazing and inspiring-Love you!

August 20, 1996

Virginia Beach, Virginia

Sarah felt like such a low life. She had tried. She had tried so very hard to make things work between them, but it just wouldn’t. There was a sense of guilt on her part for wanting the divorce, yet such a reprieve at the same time. Her bags were already packed. Sarah was more than ready. She felt a sense of upcoming anxiety … and relief.  She had planned on serving him divorce papers as soon as he landed.

She wanted to go home.  Tired of the mental abuse and neglect, she had married way too young and realized it now. She felt trapped in their marriage. She wanted to be free to live her own life and be independent. It did not dawn on her until Josh had been deployed.

She had been almost nineteen when he suddenly enlisted and then deployed to Saudi Arabia. They did not communicate much and when they did, there was bitterness and resentment from each of them. She had been forced to be on her own and welcomed it. She did not cry when he left but felt relieved.

Josh said he wanted freedom, but tried to control her from overseas by monitoring what came in and out of their joint checking account. Josh went as far as to have one of his buddies on leave show up at the apartment unexpectedly. He reported back to Josh what he had seen. It angered him that she had painted the walls without consulting him. It seemed that Josh wanted someone he could keep under his thumb and that was not her personality anymore.

Sarah had the car loaded and ready to go. The trunk was crammed full with her clothing, shoes and personal items special to her. She left everything else in the apartment they had shared. She knew it was awful to be “one of those women” the military wives gossiped about, but she understood the emotions they must have all gone through.

She hated to greet him with divorce papers, but she also knew if she went home with him, it would be a mistake. She would never be free then. She was also not alone, based off the few women who hung back and the filled cars she had seen in the parking lot. Unfortunately, it was too common an occurrence and she was more than willing to become one of the statistics.

Sarah watched the airplane begin disembarkment and watched each man carefully, looking for her childhood beau and hated the pain she was about to cause him. She hoped he would understand once she had a chance to explain, and she went as far as to prepare meals for him that were carefully placed in the freezer.

She hated to abandon him but they had both changed. It was evident from his letters, lack of phone calls, and their brief visit with each other over a year ago. He had chosen to re-up his tour without consulting with her. He made decisions without her, she in turn made decisions without him. That was how it started.

She saw him and their eyes made contact. She raised a hand to wave in acknowledgement. She also saw his lack of response to her greeting. Sarah could feel the guilt and anxiety diminishing with each minute that passed. What exactly was his problem? Was it her? Did he already suspect she had papers that just needed his signature? She had already filed everything else with the law office on base.

Sarah watched him walk to her with his bag slung over his shoulder. She still admired the way he carried himself. She had always enjoyed watching his casual appeal and when he tried to be sexy-it was a smoldering burn. Part of the reason she did not want to go home with him. She made up her mind and did not want her resolve to disappear if he tried to lay on the charm. She had always given in; it was how they had ended up married.

“Hello, Josh. Welcome home,” she said politely, as she watched others embrace around them. She felt odd. She felt out of place among the others. She heard cries of happiness and heard tears of joy, to which she had neither- and she was surprised to see he still did not respond either.
 

Josh had looked for Sarah carefully in the crowd as he exited the plane. He was glad to be on American soil again and ready for his next assignment. He hoped it was somewhere cooler than Saudi. He was tired of the heat and tired of the sand. He hoped for maybe Washington State, Virginia or New Jersey - someplace that got cold. No sand, no heat.

He caught site of his wife and saw her raise her hand. He always felt she was one cold fish, but this proved it. He saw all the other guys grabbing their wives and spinning them around, tears of happiness on their faces. She had none of that for him.

Sarah did not act like the girl he knew from school. The girl that looked up to him for everything. He did not like the changes in her and frankly had been ready to leave for Saudi. Maybe some distance would help things, or decide things. He enjoyed having women throw themselves at him and had relished in quite a few of them.

He noticed the difference in intimacy between them and Sarah. He frankly was not impressed with her and hadn’t been for some time. He considered filing for a divorce, but thought maybe things would be different when he got home. Obviously they were not.

Josh dropped his bag with a loud thud on the concrete beside them. He was not sure if he should attempt to embrace her or just say hello. He decided upon the simple greeting with her cool welcome to him. “Hello, yourself” he responded and looked at her strangely. This was not the adoring girl he had married.
 

Sarah cleared her throat nervously and was not sure how to start. She hoped this split would be something they both agreed upon, seeing how cool his response was to her. She did not dress to impress him, but she did look nice today, and he did not respond whatsoever. She felt he looked at her like he would any stranger that happened to walk by. It was odd, but helped reinforce her decision.

Sarah felt like there was no time like the present. She took a deep breath and looked at his tanned, familiar face. “Josh, I have to tell you and I am not sure how to do it, other than to just spit it out. I want a divorce and I need you to sign some papers I have in my purse.” There, she thought. It was out and I would be free to leave. She was ready to head back to Kentucky. The gas tank was full, her bags packed, and she had the route from the base to her hometown highlighted on the well-worn Maps-co.

Sarah felt his hand wrap around her throat. She was shocked and terrified. She did not expect a hostile response. She figured he would be hurt or mad, but never physically abusive. She pinched her eyes shut and gasped desperately, digging at his hand with both of hers. “Josh, Josh, stop” she gasped desperately as she felt his hand tighten.
 

Josh was livid. That cold bitch he had been married to thought to divorce him? Here, in front of everyone? He wondered if she was pregnant with someone’s child and just did not have the nerve to say she was knocked up. He could not believe she beat him to the attorney’s office to file for divorce.

He had considered it for months. He should be the one dumping her, in front of all his closest friends. How dare she. He could not help it, he grabbed her by the throat and wanted to throttle her. Every time his name come off her tongue, he wanted to squeeze tighter. He was in control of this relationship and if she thought she was, she had another thing coming!

Josh felt several people try to pull him off her. They pried his fingers from her bruised throat. He was angry and felt betrayed. How dare she do this to him when he had been so good to her! His bunkmates pulled him back and huddled around him. He saw their sympathetic glances as he revealed Sarah’s idea to divorce him and felt them pat him on the back in attempt to comfort him. He wanted to get back on the plane and leave her ungrateful ass there.
 

Sarah felt shock and disbelief. She could not believe he tried to choke her. She watched as a group of men in uniform pulled him off of her. She gulped in her breath several times and rubbed her throat. She was unaware she was crying until a woman handed her tissues. She was terrified.

One man came over and asked if she was all right, she could see no expression on his face. “Please get him to sign this and return it - I don't want to talk to him,” she said in a raspy voice. She saw him nod, grabbed the papers, Josh signed where indicated and returned quickly to her.

He tossed them on the ground at her feet and walked off. She understood. They took care of their own, and she was not one of them now. It was low of her to do that to him upon arrival home, but she was glad there had been an audience. She gathered the papers and left quickly, not looking back.

May 20, 2014

Pleasureville, Kentucky

1

“Have a good night, Tyler.  I have it handled from here.” Sarah gestured to her coworker as she finished kneading the dough. “I just have to wrap this up and get it covered; it will be ready in the morning. I have got it tonight, if you want to head out,” she offered. Surely he had somewhere to go on Friday, whereas she was just looking forward to having a nice cup of hot tea and finishing her book tonight.

Tyler watched his friend and boss appreciatively. He really liked the overall package she was. She was giving, friendly, smart and made him feel welcome in town. “Sarah, I can get the front end closed and locked up for you. Why don't you wrap that up and we can both get out of here and maybe grab dinner?” Tyler said hopefully, but fully expecting to be shot down again. In the last few months, he had found she did not date at all, or so he assumed.
 

Sarah felt uncomfortable with the offer of dinner… again. This was the third time Tyler had mentioned going out and hanging out together after work. She was simply not interested in mixing work with personal life. He was a fairly nice guy, but just didn't really have ‘it’ for her.  Not for lack of trying, but there was something that just did not set off bells and whistles for Sarah. Plus, the whole employee/boss thing would be a total nightmare. He was nice, punctual, helpful to have around.  However, you did not date someone because they were punctual. She was like any other typical woman: she wanted the fairytale and happily ever after.

“Tyler, I appreciate the offer. I just cannot. I am your boss and while it is very sweet of you to ask, I have other plans tonight,” Sarah replied. She tried to make it as nice, but firm, as possible. She was not ready to date yet. She was not sure if she would ever be, after all it had been several years and she still somehow could not cross that mental hurdle.

Tyler nodded in acknowledgement. He would have to find his entertainment elsewhere or head home again. “I understand. Maybe some other time?” Tyler said. He was determined, she would have to give him that.

Sarah just sighed and continued to punch down the soft dough, shaking her head. “Tyler, you know I can’t. You need someone who has things in common with you, someone that is ready for a relationship. We work together and get along great, but that is it. I would like to continue to get along and continue to work together- and I don't want anything to affect that. Does that make sense?”

Tyler did not take no for an answer easily. He figured he would try again without harassing her at a later date. He could see she was getting a bit flustered, her cheeks were getting pink and looked so cute. “Yeah, I guess so.  It's an offer that always stands... okay? Anytime?” he said doggedly.

Sarah felt relieved, he was letting the subject drop finally. “Thank you for that, Tyler. Yes, if you will get the front of the shop cleaned and locked up for me? I will clean up back here and head out.” Sarah was glad it the conversation turned from ‘let’s go out’ to ‘’ get out of here.’ It was Friday night and Sarah had a date with some peace and quiet at home.

Tyler quietly moved the refrigerated items from the display case, back to the walk in fridge and stocked the napkins, straws, condiments quietly. He flipped off the light in the window, locked the door and counted the till. Logging everything, he left it in the money bag for Sarah on the counter in the kitchen at the back of the shop, close to where she was busy covering the massive ceramic bowl of dough with oiled Saran Wrap to let it rise slowly and prevent it from sticking.

“Thanks so much. I will see you tomorrow morning at five AM ?” Sarah said cheerfully, trying to soften the blow to him, and she knew that Saturday mornings were typically rough and ran a lot of part time employees off.  That was there busiest day and where the bakery made their money... doughnuts for soccer moms, doughnuts for the local marching band at the high school, tarts, pies, loaves of jalapeño cheese bread for meetings and assemblies. Usually the bakery was pretty much sold out by noon or two o’clock. They usually closed about four or five PM. So much so, that they had begun to double their product on Friday nights,to help compensate so they did not run out of items by ten AM.