Sweet Home Colorado (The O'Malley Men) (14 page)

In spite of how Grace felt about him, she and Jack didn’t have
a future. There was too great a risk that he’d find out the truth. He’d hate her
forever if he did, and that—more than the thought of moving halfway across the
country and never seeing him again—was motivating her decision to leave Spruce
Lake forever.

Chapter Eighteen

She’d miss this, Grace thought, the comfortable
companionship she and Jack shared as they worked together in her tiny kitchen.
He was not only easy on the eyes, he was easy company. Intelligent and with a
keen sense of humor and social justice, he was everything she could want in a
man. Yet she’d thrown all of that away thirteen years ago.

For a short while, she’d fantasized that they could “do over”
their lives. But every time she got to the part where she decided to keep
Amelia, everything went south. She could never envision being free of financial
struggle and she’d seen too many marriages break down under that kind of
financial strain. Grace had been poor growing up, and she didn’t want that for
her child, couldn’t bear that her irresponsible actions had brought another
child into the world who’d be denied opportunities. She’d lived that life
herself, only escaping through the hard work that gained her a college
scholarship. When she’d discovered she was pregnant she’d called her mother,
who’d talked her into not telling Jack, begging her not to give up her dreams in
order to marry him. When she’d asked if her mother regretted marrying her
father, and having Grace, she’d said, “What else would I do? I’m not qualified
for anything. And besides that, I love your father. I belong with him. But
you—get an abortion!”

After all these years, all the disappointments, Grace’s mother
still loved her father. Could she and Jack have ended up that way? Penniless but
in love? It wasn’t enough for Grace. It would never be enough.

She’d made the right decision in the end—for both her and their
baby—but she still regretted it every day of her life. Strange how her mother
had just assumed that Grace had taken her advice.

Jack leaned toward her and kissed her cheek, then went back to
beating the custard for the quiche.

Grace mentally shook herself. She had to stop thinking about
this. But the more time she spent with Jack, the more guilt she felt over her
choice to give Amelia up and her failure to confess the truth to the baby’s
father.

“You’re miles away. What’s up?” he said, and poured the mix
onto the premade pie crust Grace had set out. She placed the quiche in the oven,
turned toward him, trying to distract him from further questions. She wrapped
her arms around his neck. “Nothing,” she said. “Want to make out?”

Jack’s eyes glittered with arousal. “If you insist,” he said,
and lifted her onto the countertop.

* * *

G
RACE
’
S
PHONE
RANG
.
As Jack blindly groped for it on the counter
behind her, still kissing her neck, he knocked her wallet to the floor. He
handed the phone to Grace and bent to retrieve the wallet, noticing that a
photograph had fallen out. He picked it up and was about to slip it back inside,
when he realized it was a photo of Grace. She looked no older than she had when
she’d graduated from high school, and she was holding a baby—a newborn, tightly
bundled baby. He lifted the picture to eye level and his gaze collided with
Grace’s.

She was whiter than a ghost. “I’ll call you back,” she said,
her fingers shaking as she switched off her phone.

“Who is this?” he asked.

The tears brimming in Grace’s eyes terrified him.
“Who is this, Grace?”
he demanded.

She pressed her lips together and for a moment he was afraid
she wouldn’t answer him. He turned the photo over. On the back were the words
Amelia 6 lbs., 11 oz. May 25, 2000.

He swallowed as he read the date and looked up at Grace again.
Her lips were still tightly clamped but she could no longer hold back the tears.
They welled from her eyes and streamed down her cheeks.

At last she said, “She’s...our daughter.”

Jack grasped the counter to steady himself. A thousand
questions swirled through his mind, some more frightening than others. The worst
was: if Grace had never mentioned her, did that mean she’d died?

He finally found his voice and asked, “Where is she?”

Grace slid off the countertop and reached out to him but he
held the photograph firmly between them. “Where
is
she?” he demanded again. “What happened to her?”

“Jack...” she said, and faltered. “It’s a long story.”

“The short version will do,” he snapped. “
Where
is my daughter?”

“I...gave her up for adoption.”

Jack’s knees almost buckled. The relief that his daughter
hadn’t died was quickly replaced with anger so deep and bitter he could taste
it. “You
what?
” he roared, barely able to keep
control of his roiling emotions. Grace had given birth to their baby?
Grace had given their baby away?

“I told you it was a long story,” she said, moving toward him
again. “Please. Let’s sit down. I can explain everything.”

Jack stepped back, feeling as if her touch would make this
nightmare real.

“I don’t want to hear any explanations. There’s no forgiveness
for what you’ve done,” he said. “Tell me where my daughter is and I’ll go and
get her. That’s all I want. I don’t want you. I don’t want your lies. I don’t
want you in my life! Just tell me where she is!”

Grace swiped at her tears, but Jack was so angry he was immune
to them, immune to anything she might be suffering because what he was feeling
was so much worse.

“I can’t,” she said, her voice breaking.

“
What?
You just gave our baby away
to a pair of strangers? Did you walk up to someone on the streets of Boston and
just hand her over?” He wanted to hurt her, the way she’d hurt him. “Or...or
better yet,
sell
her?”

Grace’s slap caught him unawares.

“How dare you!” she cried.

Jack gripped her arms. “No! How dare
you!
How dare you have our baby and not tell me! How dare you give
her away! How dare you not let me have the opportunity to be part of her life.
To be a father to her.” He paced the tiny apartment, furious with Grace. “And
you’ve been back here
how
long? Why didn’t you tell
me when I started work on the house? How could you have flirted with me for so
long and kept this from me? You’ve been lying to me from the start!”

“If you’d let me explain—”

“No!” He cut her off. “There is no explanation that can justify
this, Grace!”

“You were eighteen and halfway around the world—”

“Don’t make this
my
fault!” Jack
hissed. “
You
had my baby, you didn’t tell me
anything about it, then you gave her away!”

With all the shouting, Millie had gone to sit at Grace’s feet.
She looked at Jack, her head tilted as if trying to figure out what was going
on.

He strode back to Grace, inches from her face, challenging her
to look away, to hide her shame. “You have not only deprived me of knowing my
daughter, you’ve deprived my parents of being grandparents to her, my brothers
being uncles, her cousins from knowing her! Did you think about that even once,
Grace? Did you think about anyone other than yourself in this whole
scenario?”

When she didn’t respond, he felt vindicated. He bent to scratch
Millie’s ear, letting her know he wasn’t mad at her. He was rewarded with a warm
lick.
At least one of the females in this room has a heart,
he thought bitterly.

“Your career was more important than our child, was that
it?”

Without waiting for her answer, he stormed to the door,
wrenched it open and looked back at her.

“I never want to see you again,” he said and, with as much
constraint as he could muster, went outside and slammed the door behind him.

Enraged at her betrayal, Jack stumbled down the steps, climbed
into Betsy and thundered out of the parking area, his wheels spinning in the
gravel.

Chapter Nineteen

Jack tore out of Spruce Lake, so blinded by rage that
he didn’t see the sheriff’s department vehicle coming in the opposite direction.
Before he could react and take his foot off the accelerator, the other truck’s
lights and siren were going and it made a U-turn to pursue him.

He pulled Betsy over and waited while it parked behind him.
“Crap!” he muttered as he saw Matt jump out of the other vehicle and walk toward
his car. He was tempted to make a break for it, while Matt was too far from his
vehicle to give immediate chase—but Matt would catch him soon enough and then
he’d really have some explaining to do. He didn’t want Matt seeing him in this
state, didn’t want to admit why he was so upset. He needed time to digest
everything he’d learned tonight and he couldn’t do that with Matt interrogating
him.

So he rolled down the window and said, “Just give me the ticket
and save the lecture.”

“Oh, you’ll get the lecture, all right,” Matt said, resting his
hands on Betsy’s window frame. “
And
the tick—” Matt
halted midsentence and stuck his head inside to get a closer look at Jack. “What
the hell happened to you?”

Jack scrubbed his eyes. “Dust.”

“The hell it is! What’s up, buddy?”

The concern in Matt’s voice choked Jack up even more. “Nothing.
I just need to be on my own.”

Matt opened the door and started getting in. “Move over,” he
said, “we’re taking a brotherly drive.”

Jack knew there was no point in arguing with Matt. He was the
most stubborn of the brothers.

“Let’s go to Inspiration Point,” Matt suggested.

“What? So we can neck?” Jack retorted.

“If you like,” Matt said, and looked across at him.

Jack ignored his brother’s teasing and stared through the
windshield. No amount of gentle mockery could improve his mood.

Matt forgot to change gears as they rounded the bend toward
Inspiration Point and cursed under his breath. “Stick shifts!” he muttered as he
shoved Betsy into gear.

“Careful!” Jack warned. “She’s not as young as she used to
be.”

Matt patted Betsy’s dash in apology and said, “This is the
longest relationship you’ve ever had with a woman.”

Jack crossed his arms. “Well, it’s over, so forget it.”

“What? You and Betsy are calling it quits?” Matt said with a
grin. “Apart from a brief flirtation with that floozy Al’s driving now, you’ve
been faithful to Betsy for how many years?” Matt changed down as the gradient up
the hill to the Point increased. This time he was more gentle on Betsy. Gentle
on the gears and gentle on the clutch.

“Grace had our baby and gave her up for adoption,” Jack
blurted.

“Whoa!” Matt cried as he nearly steered Betsy off the
precipice. He fought the wheel and brought the old truck to a stop on the
shoulder, cut the ignition and turned to Jack. “Run that by me again?”

“Grace had our baby, gave her up for adoption and never told
me.” Jack dug his knuckles into his eyes.

He felt Matt’s hand on his shoulder, felt its warmth and
strength.

“Tell me about it,” Matt urged.

“Grace and I made love for the first and last time just before
she left for college. The birth control must’ve failed. She got pregnant, didn’t
tell me and...because of her precious career aspirations, she gave our baby
away.”

Unable to stay in the truck with all his pent-up anger, Jack
pushed open the door and got out, striding from Matt and Betsy.

It didn’t take Matt long to catch up and pull Jack into a
brotherly bear hug. Jack forced himself not to cling. He’d already shown enough
weakness to his big brother; he couldn’t let down his guard any further. “She
had no intention of telling me any of this! I hate her! I didn’t think I could
hate anyone, but I do.” He tried to pull out of the other man’s embrace, but his
brother held fast.

“Well, that’s a relief to hear, buddy.”

The comment surprised Jack. He’d been expecting Matt to defend
Grace because that was what Matt did. He was the family protector. No wonder
he’d become a cop!

Matt let go of him. “Because if you were indifferent, I’d be
worried that there was no hope of salvaging this,” his brother said. “You hate
her at the moment, but deep down you really love her.”

“I can do without your twisted pop psychology.”

“Let’s talk this out,” Matt said, drawing Jack toward Betsy. He
leaned against her and said, “Why didn’t she tell you about the baby?”

“I don’t know.”

Matt nodded. “Then why did she give the baby up?”

“I don’t know.”

“Seems there’s a lot you don’t know about the circumstances,
yet you’re going off half-cocked and hating Grace.”

“What part of ‘Grace gave our baby up and didn’t tell me’ don’t
you understand?”

“Truthfully? Most of it. Grace is a good woman. There has to be
a good reason. It’s a pity you didn’t bother hanging around to find out what it
was.”

When Jack remained silent, staring at the ground, struggling
with his emotions, Matt said, “Let’s go see her. Talk it out.”

“No! I can’t talk to her. I can’t forgive her.”

“Just as well you didn’t take those final vows, Jack. You’d
have made a lousy priest.”

Jack’s head snapped up at that. “Maybe so, but I’d like to
think I’d have been a damned good father to my child.”

* * *

F
OR
A
GOOD
FIVE
MINUTES
Grace stood stiffly, staring at the front door of her tiny
apartment, hands clenched by her sides as she willed the tears not to fall.
Jack’s words played over and over in her brain. And then the tears came, tears
she had no control over, tears she’d held inside for too long. They flowed down
her cheeks as she gulped for air and grabbed for the tissues. How could she ever
have thought of leaving this place? Of leaving Jack? It wasn’t until he’d
stormed out of her life that she knew she needed him
in
her life.

Millie whined softly, and Grace sank to the floor and hugged
her dog. “I’ve done something terrible, Millie, and I don’t know how to make it
right,” she said, burying her face against Millie’s soft fur.

Millie licked her as if that were the cure to all suffering.
Grace half smiled and said, “What would I do without you, Millie?” That brought
on a fresh bout of crying.

She’d messed up so badly but Grace knew that succumbing to
self-pity wasn’t going to help. If nothing else, she owed Jack an explanation,
and since he wasn’t ready to hear it in person she’d write to him. And then she
was getting out of Spruce Lake—forever! She wiped her eyes and scrambled to her
feet.

After washing her face, Grace returned the call she’d had to
interrupt earlier.

Dr. Rivers accepted her apology for cutting him off and said,
“I was calling to ask if we could move that appointment to 8:00 a.m. I know it’s
a lot to ask, but I’ve got an urgent meeting.”

Grace knew how pressed good doctors were for time. “That’s
fine, Dr. Rivers,” she assured him. “I’m just grateful you could fit Mr. Farquar
in on such short notice.”

“You’re welcome. See you in the morning,” he said.

Grace called the Farquars and told Edna about the change of
plans. Far from finding it an inconvenience, the older woman said, “The sooner,
the better, Grace. We’ll stop by your place at six tomorrow. We’ll need to leave
early in case of traffic.”

Hoping the other woman hadn’t been aware of Grace’s teary voice
before they hung up, Grace went into her bedroom and hauled out her suitcases.
There was no point in staying here any longer. She’d continue to do what was
needed to start the clinic because she’d made a commitment to Lucy, but as for
staying and working in Spruce Lake—that just wasn’t going to happen. She’d go
back to Boston, pick up where she’d left off. And she was going to try to forget
the man she loved.

Millie wandered into the room and looked at her curiously.
“Want to come to Boston with me?” she asked.

Millie wagged her tail excitedly.

“I’ll take that as a ‘yes.’ Come here.” She held out her arms
and Millie hopped over to her and let Grace hug her tightly. The dog’s
unconditional love tore at Grace’s heart. She’d been so hell-bent on going to
college, on becoming a doctor, amassing wealth, being the opposite of what her
parents were, that she’d—

She’d lost sight of who
she
was.

* * *

S
UITCASES
PACKED
, G
RACE
sat down at her tiny dining room table, where
she’d shared such happy lunches and suppers with Jack, and wrote short notes to
several people regarding her abrupt departure from Spruce Lake. The first was to
Sally, apologizing for deserting her but promising to be available anytime she
needed to talk about Aaron, or any of her children. Another to Lucy, explaining
that while Lucy had her full support for the clinic, she’d be working remotely
from Boston, doing the paperwork and submitting it online. The last note was to
Edna Carmichael-Farquar. This was harder to write because she would have to
deceive the elderly couple all morning. Tomorrow, she’d attend Frank’s
appointment and then afterward ask them to drop her at the airport, saying she
needed to return to Boston immediately.

You’re a coward!
Grace admonished
herself. She didn’t have the guts to come clean to the Farquars to their faces.
Instead, she wrote a check to cover the next three months’ rent, then sealed it
and the note in an envelope. That done, she set about writing a long letter to
Jack.

It was hard to find the words at first, but in time she did and
they flowed as profusely as her tears. It was well after midnight before she’d
finished and placed the envelope containing Jack’s letter beside the others.
Tomorrow she’d tell Edna there was something for her on the table in the
apartment.

Feeling emotionally drained, Grace stood under the shower,
letting the tears flow once more.

* * *

T
RUE
TO
HER
WORD
, Edna pulled up right at 6:00
a.m. Grace was waiting for them with her suitcases and Millie on her leash.
She’d barely slept and had spent the past hour with ice packs on her eyes trying
to lessen the telltale swelling that said she’d been crying most of the
night.

But Grace was in control of her emotions now. She’d had a few
hours to think and she’d made some firm decisions about her future—a future she
hoped would eventually include Jack. But if not, it might include her
daughter.

Taking a deep breath she got up from the bottom step and went
to say hello to the Farquars, towing one of the suitcases.

Frank began to get out of the passenger seat to help, but Grace
said, “They’re not heavy, I can manage.”

She greeted Edna through the window and said, “I’ve had an
emergency come up. Would you mind dropping me at the airport after Frank’s
appointment?”

“Sure thing. If it’s an emergency, shouldn’t we drop you
first?” she asked, popping the trunk.

Grace loaded the first suitcase, which was light, because it
only contained Millie’s bed, food bowls and toys. She’d left a lot of her
clothes boxed up in the apartment, with a note asking Edna to send them to
Boston whenever it was convenient.

She hefted the second suitcase into the trunk and smiled at
Edna. “I hope you don’t mind if Millie comes with us?”

“Of course not, dear,” Edna assured her. “But if you’re just
going for a short time, why not leave her here? She’s welcome to stay with
us.”

“I...I’m not too sure how long I’ll be. It could take a while.”
She shrugged. “It’s a...family matter.”

Edna nodded and said, “I see. Well, if there’s anything you
need me to do while you’re gone, just ask.”

Grace couldn’t believe she was walking away from good people
like Edna Carmichael and all the friends she’d made in Spruce Lake over the past
couple of weeks. But she had her penance to pay, and until she’d done that, she
could never look these people in the eye again.

* * *

F
RANK
’
S
APPOINTMENT
WENT
well. Dr. Rivers
was thorough and backed up the diet plan Grace had outlined, which delighted
Edna no end and left Frank sulking. However, with a male doctor supporting the
women, Frank had no choice but to pay attention to his health. Dr. Rivers
prescribed some medication and made an appointment to follow up on Frank’s
progress in two weeks.

Frank seemed in better spirits by the time they all piled into
the Caddy to drive to the airport. He was especially relieved that he wasn’t
facing surgery. However, Dr. Rivers had told him that if he didn’t watch his
diet and general health, he could be. Within the year!

Millie greeted them effusively. She’d had to be locked in the
car during the appointment, but fortunately the garage was under the building,
so she was cool in the shade, and with the Caddy’s windows rolled down a little,
she had sufficient air. She’d probably slept the whole time they’d been
gone.

* * *

A
N
HOUR
LATER
, Millie was being loaded into the crate Grace
had purchased at a Denver pet store in preparation for her very first
flight.

Grace had nearly burst into tears as she’d said her farewells
to the Farquars at the airport curb, insisting they get on their way to Spruce
Lake rather than come in and wait with her.

At Boston’s Logan Airport, Millie and Grace were reunited amid
much happy tail-wagging and many wet kisses. Fortunately, she found a cab that
would accept a dog—something Grace hadn’t considered the night before when she’d
decided to take Millie to Boston.

Letting herself into her apartment overlooking the harbor, she
was hit by a blast of hot, stuffy air because the place had been locked up for
several weeks. Millie bounded inside to look out the fifth-floor windows. Grace
switched on the air conditioner and unpacked Millie’s suitcase, placing her bed
beside the sofa and filling her water and food bowls. Then, exhausted, she
collapsed onto her sofa and stretched out, the only sound in the room Millie
snuffling her kibble. Starving, Grace realized she hadn’t eaten since yesterday
at lunch—she’d been too stressed to eat the meal she and Jack had prepared and
she’d skipped breakfast and lunch today, apart from a pack of pretzels on the
plane. She called her favorite Chinese restaurant and ordered takeout, then went
into her study and searched through the filing cabinet. At the very back, tucked
underneath the vertical files, she found what she was looking for.