Sweet Surrendering (20 page)

And that opened up other questions. I had his résumé, so I knew where he went to school and when he graduated, but what had it been like? Did he have a lot of friends, or was he a loner? Had he liked school? What did he do in his spare time, other than singing?

And why did he ask me to call him Lucah on Saturday night?

The questions weighed heavily on me and made me tired. I locked the screen on my computer and walked down the hall to Dad’s office. I’d seen him this morning already and told him all about my illness, which was easier than I thought it would be, and that made me feel even worse than I already did.

I knocked on the door and waited. He was on the phone, but he hung up and told me to come in.

“Rory, what are you doing down this end of the hallway? Not that I’m not pleased to see my girl.” He got up from his desk and gave me a hug. I must have looked like I needed it.

I definitely did.

“Why so blue?”

“Oh, I think I’m still worn down from the food poisoning. Nothing a few good nights of sleep couldn’t cure. Or maybe some more coffee. Lots of coffee.” I breathed in his aftershave and cologne. It was a special blend Mom had made for him every Christmas, and I’d smelled it since childhood. It was home. And safety.

“So since I didn’t get to interrogate you at dinner, tell me how your outing with Fin went,” he said, leading me to a chair and handing me a glass of water. I took it, if only to have something to do with my hands.

I gave him the sanitized version and told him that despite having a lovely conversation with him, and him being very good-looking, it wasn’t going to be producing love or babies anytime soon.

“Ah, I thought so, but your mother was convinced. And there isn’t another special young man in your life?” I shook my head, probably a little too vigorously.

“Nope. I’m married to the job right now. When the right one comes along, I’ll know.” God, I sounded like a Disney character. I should be twirling around in a field and singing while woodland creatures cleaned my house.

“Well, I don’t want you to turn around forty years from now and regret that you missed out on something. The job will always be here for you when you want it. People say I’m a nepotist, and I am. There will always be jobs for those I care about. Why would I hire anyone else?” He gave me another hug.

“Dad? Don’t tell anyone that I was in here. I have to keep my persona intact.” He laughed.

“I won’t breathe a word. Come talk to me anytime, Rory.” With one last kiss on my head, I left, feeling a little bit better, but no less confused.

I made it through the day, and Lucas left a few minutes before me, so I didn’t have to ride the elevator down with him.

The next morning he brought my breakfast again, and he was deep in work when I got there. It was almost an exact repeat of the day before.

The next day was the same. And the next.

A whole week went by with his cordial words and emotionless looks and I felt myself getting more and more bogged down with work and stress. I’d wanted this. I’d demanded it, and now that I had it, I just wanted to go back to the time when he’d come up behind me in the break room and whisper something dirty in my ear, or when I could feel him ogling my ass as I walked away, or even when he’d smile and I knew he was happy. He didn’t seem happy, and then it was time for his three-week evaluation. It was my job to do this one, but all other evaluations would be done by the head of Human Resources.

If he lasted that long.

I picked up the phone and dialed his extension. He picked up without looking up at me.

“Would you please come into my office and close the door, Mr. Blaine?”

“Of course, Miss Clarke.” We hung up and he straightened his desk and locked his computer before walking around his desk and into my office, shutting the door softly behind him.

“Please, sit down.” We hadn’t been alone like this and I knew it wasn’t going to be easy. My body reacted to his. That’s just the way it was. He flipped a switch in me whenever he was around.

“As you know, you’ve been with us three weeks now and so it’s time to evaluate your progress. So, how do you think you’re doing?” I folded my hands on my desk and thanked whoever had written a sheet of questions for me to ask so I had something to look at other than his face.

“I enjoy my job. It is challenging and exciting; I feel like I get along with everyone here and I think I’m contributing.” Well said, but with about zero emotion.

This wasn’t him.

I cleared my throat.

“Well, I agree with you on all of those points. You’re a hard worker. You’re on time and you finish everything you start and—” I was interrupted by him using his hand to smother a laugh. That caught me completely off guard.

I looked up from my paper and saw that his face was red and he was still trying not to laugh and failing.

“I’m sorry. Go on.” He coughed and tried to put his serious face back on.

“As I was saying, you finish everything you start and—“

Cue laugher. This time he couldn’t stop, and I caught it.

“Oh, you are such a perv.” I grabbed a pen and threw it at him. “Of course you would take something as simple as an evaluation and make it dirty. Typical guy.” Yup, any semblance of professionalism went out the window.

He shook his head. “I’m sorry, you just looked so serious when you said it.”

I looked up from his evaluation form. “Hey, I’m not the one who’s had serious face on all week.”

“Yeah, well your bitch face has been getting quite a workout. Every time I check you’ve got it on. I mean, it’s just as sexy as your not-bitch face. If you were trying to not be sexy, it didn’t work.”

“Yeah, ditto.”

He leaned back and his face relaxed and mine did too.

“So,” he said.

“So.”

“We sucked at that, didn’t we?” he said.

“Sucked at what?” He put his hands behind his head and I pushed the evaluation sheet aside.

“At the one night plan. When . . . when I woke up and found you in my arms . . . I knew that I couldn’t have just one night. I wanted more. Still do.”

Oh, these were all the things that girls want boys to say to them, but they were wrong in this context.

“Just because you want something, doesn’t mean you can have it,” I said.

“Actually, it’s been my experience that it does. I always get what I want, even if I have to work for it.” He was incorrigible.

“Why are you making this so hard on me, Lucas? Oh, and why did you ask me to call you Lucah?”

That caught him off guard. Hmm.

“It’s . . . it’s a nickname I had when I was young. Only certain people are allowed to call me that.”

“And I’m a certain person?”

Our eyes met and locked.

“You are.”

I took a shaky breath.

“I can’t deny that one night wasn’t enough for me, but I can’t let this, or whatever it could be jeopardize my job. This is my life. I’ve known I was going to work here since I could crawl down those hallways. I took my first steps outside Dad’s office. This is who I am and I don’t know how to add you to the picture without wrecking everything.” He waited, because he knew there was more.

“With that said, how about we continue our . . . nights outside the office. Just nights. And then we’ll come in the next day and we can function, because right now, I don’t feel like I’m functioning. I’m still doing my job, but it’s not the same.” I didn’t mean to tell him all that, but it was pointless to try to hide how I was feeling.

“I know. I’m . . . I’m so sorry about all of this.” What did he have to be sorry for? I could have slapped him with a harassment suit at any time and tossed him out on his ass. But then he could have thrown it in my face, since I was his boss and in a position of power to leverage him for sex.

“It’s not your fault. We just have to figure out how to work around this. Maybe . . . maybe I can get you transferred to another department. Then at least we wouldn’t have to stare at each other all day long.”

He half smiled. “But I like staring at you all day long.”

I bit my lip. “Yeah, me too. I mean, staring at you. I don’t stare at myself.”

That elicited another real smile from him.

“Nights?” he said, the smile widening and becoming more wicked.

“Nights. Only nights.”

He got up from his chair and walked around my desk, then turned my chair to face him.

“Well, it’s night in England right now. And you know, this country was founded by Englishmen, so as far as I’m concerned that makes it night here by proxy.” He got down on his knees so our faces were at the same level.

“Is that some twisted way of saying that it’s five o’clock somewhere?”

“More or less.” His mouth was so close to mine. I felt like I hadn’t tasted it in so long. I could have a kiss, right? Just one little itty bitty kiss.

He stopped with his face only an inch away from mine and our noses almost brushed. He crossed his eyes at me and I couldn’t help but laugh.

And then my phone rang, shattering the moment. He groaned and I saw that it was one of the other executives, so it was important.

“I need to take this.” He nodded and stood up, but didn’t leave. I gave him a look and he put his hands up as if he surrendered and backed out of the room as I answered the phone.

He left my door open, and I swiveled my chair back around so I could watch him as he sat down at his desk. The call was quick, something that could have been taken care of via email, and I spent most of the time rolling my eyes and miming shooting myself as Lucas tried not to laugh at his desk. Whenever someone walked by we had to stop looking at each other.

I hung up from the unnecessary phone call and immediately dialed Lucas.

“We didn’t finish your three week evaluation.”

He hung up the phone and walked back into my office and shut the door.

“You rang?”

How could I be serious with him?

“You know that you’re doing well, and that there isn’t anything that’s a major problem. So just keep doing what you’re doing. The next time you’ll be evaluated, it will be in three months and I won’t be the one doing it, so you’re not going to be able to get away with all the stuff you’re getting away with right now. Don’t screw it up and don’t make me look bad. Here’s a copy of your evaluation to look over and sign. Now get out of my office,” I flung the piece of paper at him and pointed to the door.

“Bitch,” he said grabbing the paper and pretending to storm out, but when he got to his desk he stuck his tongue out at me, minus the silver bar. I still needed to ask him about that.

I picked up the phone again.

“When did you get your tongue pierced?”

“You know, telling me to leave your office and then calling me back sends a bit of a mixed message.”

“Just answer the question and get back to work.”

“In my wild youth. Good-bye, Miss Clarke.” He chuckled and hung up. I glared at him and shook my head. And then I went back to work.

“So,” he said as we got into the elevator at the same time that night. I knew he’d totally planned this, but I wasn’t complaining.

“So.”

“Your place or mine?” he said, moving closer to me and taking my hand. I pulled mine away, because we were still in the building and I wasn’t taking any chances.

“Well, I have a roommate, sooo . . .”

“Ah, right. My place then. I’d like to see your place though.” I didn’t want him to see it until I’d cleaned it and then the housekeeper had come and then I’d cleaned it again.

“Maybe sometime. But do you mind if I go home first and get some things? Not that I don’t love using your shower gel, but your shampoo sucks.”

He nodded and the elevator reached the ground floor and we exited together.

“See you . . . in an hour? Don’t worry about eating. I’ll take care of dinner.” Ah, a man who took charge. Sexy.

“Okay.”

“Okay.” There was a pause, as if both of us wanted to kiss the other good-bye, but we couldn’t. People walked around us, oblivious.

I ducked my head and headed out the door and he followed behind me and then we went our separate ways.