Sweet Surrendering (31 page)

“But I don’t mind. I like having to move your shampoo to find mine, or accidentally reaching for a toothbrush and getting yours instead of mine.”

“What about my tampons? You cool with those?”

“I am cool with your tampons.”

“Good.”

“Cool.”

The next morning he let me use my new key to lock the door when I left and I got a little thrill about putting it on my key ring.

At lunch, I ran to a locksmith and got one made for him since the only extra keys I had were in Sloane’s possession. She may have been great at making flan and lingerie, but she was terrible at not losing her key.

When I got back I saw Dad talking to Lucah and I immediately panicked. Dad had his back to me and Lucah was facing me so he saw the panic on my face and shook his head very subtly back and forth.

What did that mean? Did that mean things were okay? Did that mean I should panic? WHAT DID THAT SIGNAL MEAN? We hadn’t worked out our signals yet.

I had to walk by Dad to get to my office so I did it in such a way that he saw me out of the corner of his eye.

“Oh, Rory. Just getting back from lunch?” I put on a smile and walked up to them.

“Yes, which means it’s Mr. Blaine’s turn.” Dad and Lucah shared a look that I couldn’t decipher and then Lucah excused himself and headed off to lunch.

“What was that about? You trying to steal my assistant?” I joked, trying to make light of the situation.

“Oh, no. He’s all yours,” he said, and it felt like a double meaning, but that was probably just me. “No, I was just stopping by to see how things were going for him. He’s a bright young man you’ve got there.” Was it just me, or was Dad acting shifty?

“Oh, well, he’s a hard worker and never complains.” I was floundering and I needed to get out of there. He seemed to sense that as he cleared his throat and looked around.

“Well, I need to get back to work, but I’ll see you later?”

“Absolutely.” We had another meeting this afternoon and I was already not looking forward to it. Lucah would have to sit next to me and we’d have to keep our hands to ourselves. Most of the time I told him not to come with me just because it was too much temptation, but this one I was out of luck because there was so much involved that I needed to remember that I needed another set of notes to supplement mine and he took really good notes when he wasn’t trying to shove his hand up my skirt. Or maybe he could do both. I sure as hell couldn’t.

I texted Lucah the second I got back to my office.

What was that about?
Every second it took him to respond freaked me out even more. I was probably being paranoid, but when you were having a secret love affair with a guy you were not supposed to be having a love affair with, then it kind of went with the territory.

Nothing. I swear. Just asking about the job. Relax, Sunshine :)

I couldn’t see his face or hear his tone via the text, so I had no way to tell if he was just trying to calm me down, or if it was really nothing. I’d have to ask him when he got back.

Love made you paranoid.

I was biting my nails and flinching every time someone walked by my door until Lucah got back. I motioned him into my office and he closed the door. I was willing to take the risk just to make double sure that we were still flying under the radar.

He smiled at me and shook his head.

“I told you that we were fine. I think he was checking up to make sure I was doing you justice and not slacking off. It was all work talk, honest.”

His voice was sincere and his face was too. Okay, crisis averted. Freak-out aborted.

I took a deep breath.

“You need to stop stressing so much. It’s not good for you.” He reached out and stroked my face just as there was a knock at my door. Crap, it was time for the meeting.

“Rory dear? It’s time for the meeting.” Mrs. Andrews’ voice made Lucah freeze with his hand on my face. Then he dropped it and we both got up. There was nothing to do but leave the office together. If we both played it cool, then no one would know anything.

“Be right there,” I said, and Lucah got up and opened the door open for me as I walked through. He followed a second later with two notebooks and pens, which, of course, I’d forgotten.

He followed too closely behind me and I knew that it was going to be a herculean effort to get through this, although Dad was in this meeting, so there would definitely be no funny business, even if I wasn’t already paranoid. I had to draw the line somewhere.

I actually did focus on the meeting and when it was over, I realized that Lucah hadn’t touched me once and his notebook was full of his small neat handwriting. My handwriting was terrible and I was jealous of his. If only you could go back in time and relearn how to write. But it was probably too late to do that now. Oh well. It just wasn’t one of my talents.

He was keeping his distance, and I knew it had to do with the fact that he thought Dad was watching him. It would have been kind of funny if it wasn’t so terrifying. We barely made eye contact for the rest of the day, which only made it sweeter when I unlocked the door to his apartment later and he kissed me like he hadn’t seen me in weeks.

“It is torture not being able to look at our talk to or touch you all day, but I felt like we were being watched, so I decided that your paranoia was warranted.”

“So you’re saying I’m right?” He laughed and bit the tip of my nose.

“Yes, I’m saying you were right.” I raised my fist in victory and did a little victory dance, complete with booty shaking and he clapped and urged me on.

“God, you’re sexy,” he said when I was done. Clearly, he loved me because only someone who loved me would think that display was sexy.

“You just keep telling me that. I haven’t heard it enough today.” I felt seriously deprived so he made up for it in quite a few ways. Plus, I’d packed Mr. Buzzy in my bag and we had some fun with him as well.

“Does this count as a threesome?” he said, and I smacked him with a pillow.

“Not if the third person is powered by batteries.”

“What about a robot?”

“Are you asking me if we had sex and a robot joined us, would that be considered a threesome?” I propped myself on my elbow and gave him a look.

“I’m just saying. I think it could count. If the robot had human emotions.”

“Do you understand that we’re talking about robot sex?”

“Yes. Because you’re an amazing woman and I love you.” He kissed me and that was enough of discussing robot sex for one evening.

Lucah and I kept our distance, difficult as it was, for the next week. It made our reunions every night all the sweeter, but parting every morning that much harder. Yes, it sounded like I was bitching but that was what love did to you. Turned you inside out and made you into a person you never thought you’d be. Love turned you into a whiny bitch.

Lucah seemed to be having just as hard a time as I was, which made me feel a little better, even if the situation still sucked.

There was no mention of Fin at dinner the next Sunday and I wondered if Dad had a little chat with Mom about pushing Fin on me, and how that was not going to work, as much as she wanted it to. I didn’t need to know, as long as I was sure she wasn’t going to ambush me again when the time came for the Black and White Ball. She was already starting to go nuts with the planning and had roped me into helping, so I spent a few Lucah-free afternoons and evenings with her working on invitations and decorations and picking the menu.

Lucah was still dealing with brother drama. Apparently Ryder had gotten a job at Starbucks, but had been fired for cursing out an asshole customer. Lucah told me the story, and I had to say that I couldn’t blame Ryder. The customer had sounded like a total jerk. I wasn’t sure if I’d have been able to keep my cool. I’d cursed out a customer on the phone once or twice. That was why it paid to be the boss’ daughter.

I got Lucah his key, giving it to him by placing it in my navel one morning when he slept over so he saw it when he opened his eyes.

He was thrilled, and I told him that he could have a drawer if he wanted, so I ended up clearing out half my lingerie and shoving it in a lower drawer. Lucah’s stuff was more important than another pair of lace panties. He might argue with that, but I wanted him to have his own space at my place. I also slowly brought out the things I’d hidden when he’d first come over because honestly, he’d seen it all and he was still here, so I didn’t think there was much that he was going to find out about me that might send him running.

I got a call from Fin on Friday while I was out at the bar and I went outside to take it.

“Hey World Traveler!” I was happy to hear from him, because Marisol had been keeping her trap shut about him and changed the subject whenever we mentioned him.

“Hey, Rory. What’s new? I just had a spare moment, so I thought I’d and see how things were going.” I hadn’t updated him on my relationship with Lucah, because I knew he was going to gloat about being right, or at least think that I’d followed his insane advice.

“Things are good.”

“Wow, could you be more vague? How are things with the coworker? And you know the one I mean.” I could just see him wiggling his perfectly arched eyebrows. For a guy, he had great eyebrows.

“He’s fine. I’m fine.” That wasn’t going to be good enough for him.

“From the fact that you’re avoiding topic, I’m going to go out on a limb and say that you did in fact take my advice and are now so disgustingly happy that I want to reach through the phone and throttle you. Am I warm?”

“Maybe,” I said.

“You can drop the act. I heard the happy in your voice. So things are good with him?” Oh, he could hear happy now? Ugh, was I that obvious?

“Things are good as long as we can keep it in our pants in the office and no one finds out. I hope there aren’t any other people who can hear happy.”

He laughed.

“I’m just more perceptive than most. Hey, you wouldn’t by any chance be able to pass along a message to Marisol for me?” It seemed weird, but I wasn’t going to question it.

“Yeah, sure. I’m with her right now.”

“Can you just tell her ‘Tom Hanks’?” Um, what?

“Did you just say ‘Tom Hanks’?”

“Yeah, just tell her that. Okay, I gotta go, Rory. Talk to you later.” I hung up and shook my head.

Boys are fucking weird.

I went back inside and delivered the message to Marisol. She blushed and then rolled her eyes and refused to tell any of us what it was about, no matter how much we pestered her. Oh, and we definitely did, no holds barred, no mercy, but she stuck to her guns and stood her ground. I should take some lessons from her.

I had no problem telling Lucah I loved him and it came out at the oddest times. Once he was just in the kitchen cleaning up when he grabbed a cup and started moving and tapping it, and I was reminded of a game I used to play at camp.

“I love you,” I blurted out as he performed tricks with the cup. I mean, it wasn’t anything you hadn’t seen in a million YouTube videos, but I thought it was pretty awesome.

He just smiled and flipped the cup on the air and caught it behind his back as I clapped.

Love made you easily impressed by things that you wouldn’t normally be impressed with.

The paperweight and mug became regular fixtures at my desk and when anyone asked about them, I just said that a friend had given them to me and let them draw their own conclusions.

We’d somehow found a routine and a pattern, and, of course, as soon as we got used to it, things changed.

Lucah disappeared one Friday afternoon and I couldn’t find him. He went on lunch and didn’t come back. First he was a half hour late. Then an hour. Then two. Then three.

I was trying to stay calm, but inside I was freaking out and picturing all the worst case scenarios and then trying not to do that so I wouldn’t jinx it while still trying to prepare myself for the worst in case it was the worst. I called and texted his cell phone and his home phone and I was about to start calling his favorite lunch places when he called me back.