Authors: Brenda Novak,Melody Anne,Violet Duke,Melissa Foster,Gina L Maxwell,Linda Lael Miller,Sherryl Woods,Steena Holmes,Rosalind James,Molly O'Keefe,Nancy Naigle
“Morning,” he said. “Will Tawera, here for Talia. The girls up yet?”
He waited outside until Talia came out, reluctance evident in every bit of her shuttered face and hesitant step.
“Why are you here?” she asked, halting on the threshold. “Can’t I even spend the night with my friend now? Am I a prisoner?”
It wasn’t the best start. “Course not,” he said, and tried a smile. “I thought you might go for a walk with me, have a chat, that’s all. Please,” he amended.
She wanted to say no, he could tell. But she didn’t dare, because the old ways were too ingrained in her, and because maybe Faith was right. Maybe she wasn’t too far down that road yet.
He thought about the lake, but that was a bit fraught, so instead, when she came out again with her shoes and jacket on, he turned his steps in the direction of Kuirau Park.
They walked in silence for a couple minutes while he tried to figure out how to begin. He finally decided on honesty, for lack of a better option.
“It was heaps easier,” he told her, “when I didn’t have to do this. When Koro was here to be the man. He was wise, eh.”
“Yeh,” she said, the word coming out pinched.
“Hard, having him gone.”
“Yeh,” she said again. “You’d know that if you’d been here.”
“I was here. I know.”
“No.” She was walking faster now. “You weren’t. You
weren’t.
Everybody went home after the tangi, and you left. You went to the States.”
“I wouldn’t have been any use, though. And Mum and Kuia were here.”
She shook her head, but didn’t answer.
“What?” He tried to keep his voice gentle, to ask rather than demand. “What was wrong?”
She shrugged, hunched into her jacket, still not looking at him. “They were just…sad. It was all too…too sad.”
“Too sad to notice how you felt, eh. Nobody paid any attention to you, maybe.” It was what Faith had said, and it looked like she might have been right.
“My friends did. And now you don’t even want me to have them.”
He bit back the first retort that came to his lips, took a moment, and tried again. “Nah. That’s not it. I do want you to have friends. And I’m sorry I got it so wrong yesterday, didn’t talk to you in the way I meant to. Lost my temper, eh.”
She cast him a quick, startled glance, but didn’t say anything. They crossed the road, still quiet before ten on Saturday, and took the crushed-stone track through the trees.
“You learnt to ride your bike here, did you know that?” he asked her. “With me running behind you holding the seat. You probably don’t remember that, but I do.” He hadn’t thought about that for a long time. “You were pretty determined. Did it over and over again until you could manage by yourself. And when you could do it, you were so happy. Missing a couple of front teeth, and you had this little lisp. You rode back to me and said, ‘Will! It’s just like flying!’” He smiled, remembering it. “That was a good day.”
“I remember,” she said. “I remember riding. I didn’t remember it was you, though. Thought it was Dad.”
“Nah. Dad had already left.”
“I don’t remember him much.”
His mouth twisted a little at that. “Well, I don’t remember him that much either. He came and went, you could say. And when he left that last time, he didn’t come back.”
“And then you left, too.”
“Yeh. I did. For the rugby. Koro and Kuia and Mum were here, though, with all of you, and I needed to go. I needed to…” He stopped. This wasn’t something he’d ever talked about with her, but maybe it was time. “Dad paid the maintenance for a bit. And then he didn’t. So I had to go.”
“I thought—I thought you just wanted to leave.”
“Yeh, nah. I did, partly.” Today, for once, he needed to be honest. “Whichever it was, though, I wasn’t here, you’re right about that. And with Koro gone, maybe I need to do more. I’m rubbish at doing more, though,” he confessed, and was rewarded with a little quirk at the corner of her mouth that was the start of a smile, and he smiled back. “Yeh. We both know that, eh. I don’t even know what doing more looks like. Except that maybe it’s time to try. Can’t get better unless you start. Spend more time here, maybe, when I can.”
“You’re not just saying that because of her, are you?” She had both hands stuck into her jacket pockets, was looking away again, into the trees. “Did she tell you to, the way she told you to come get me yesterday?”
“Who, Faith? She didn’t tell me to talk to you today. Doesn’t even know I’m here. And yesterday—no. She told me not to do anything like that, in fact. She told me to talk to you when you were by yourself. She said calm was good. I didn’t do too well with any of that, did I? Trying to do it now, though. What d’you reckon?”
“Better than yesterday,” she said, that hint of a smile there again.
“But, yeh,” he said. “Maybe it’s because of her at that. And maybe it’s because of Koro. Because of being back here without him. It hit me yesterday when I was running home, after I tried to talk to you and stuffed up so badly. I was wishing I could talk to him, ask him what to do. And I realized…” He had to stop for a moment and take a breath. “I realized that you would be wishing that, too.”
Her mouth was trembling now. He saw the unsteadiness in the hand that rose to swipe at her eyes, and his heart twisted with tenderness for the little sister who had been left so lonely, with nobody to even realize it.
“Yeh,” he said gently, and stopped walking. “I miss him so much. But you miss him even more.”
She was trying to answer, but she couldn’t manage it, and Will did what he so rarely had, what she needed right this minute from a man who loved her, a man who only wanted to protect her and cherish her. He held her.
They stood like that for minutes, there in the center of the track, with Talia’s face buried in his jacket, the sobs racking her shoulders. Will wondered who had held her since they’d put Koro in the ground. Since the unbreakable had broken, the totara had cracked and fallen. Since their family had lost its center.
“It’s all right,” he said, his hand stroking over her hair. His voice wasn’t steady, but it didn’t matter, because she needed to know that he cared, too, that it was all right to grieve. “Shh, now.” The tears had risen in his own eyes, a few even making it down his cheeks, but for once, he wasn’t feeling the pain for himself. He was feeling it for her, for the girl who had been left alone.
“Better?” he asked when she had quieted at last, when the racking sobs had eased into hiccups and her fingers had loosened their spasmodic grip on his jacket.
She nodded and raised an arm to scrub at her face, and the childishness of the gesture pulled at his heart. She was a young woman, and she was still a girl, too, who had lost her father and her grandfather, and couldn’t afford to lose one more person.
“You’re a beautiful girl.” He bent to kiss the top of her head, that vulnerable spot where her part shone through the thick dark hair. “You have so much to offer.”
Don’t give it to somebody who doesn’t deserve it,
he wanted to say, but he didn’t, because he’d got a bit smarter, maybe, these past few days. “I want to see you more,” he said instead. “I want to be your big brother again. I hope you’ll give me another chance to do that.”
She nodded, wiped at her eyes one more time, then headed up the path again, and he kept pace with her, shut his mouth, and waited. He might not have talked enough to her. But mostly, he hadn’t listened.
“I knew you paid for things,” she said at last. “But I didn’t know—I didn’t think about it. I’ve never said thanks.”
“You don’t have to say thanks.”
“Yeh. I do. And so does Mum.”
“You can’t do anything about Mum. That’s not your job.”
“She thinks you’re like Dad,” she said with a sidelong look at him.
The dull kick to his gut was nothing but familiar. “Yeh. She does. Surprised you know that, though.”
“I’m the youngest. They say things, because they don’t notice me.”
He put an arm over her shoulder, and they walked on for a minute in silence. “You’re not like Dad, though,” she said. “I don’t think so.”
“You don’t know. You don’t really know me.”
“You’re wrong. I do. Because I
don’t
know him. He left, and he didn’t come back. He didn’t take care of us, and you did.”
“Think you’re giving me too much credit,” he said over the lump in his throat.
“No,” she said, sounding so much older than fifteen. “I don’t think so.”
He was the one looking into the trees now. “We need to stop talking,” he told her.
She twisted in his grasp to stare at him. “What?”
He grinned crookedly at her. “Because you’re about to make your big brother cry.”
She laughed, and he did, too, and that was so much better. “Time to go back?” he suggested. “Give you a lift home?”
“No. I’ve got my bike.”
He nodded, and they turned to retrace their steps. “Going to watch the ABs play tonight,” he said after a minute. “Faith’s going to need somebody to explain the game to her, since you know I’ll be packing a sad about not being there, praying that Coops doesn’t miss his kicks, and that wee nasty bit of me inside praying that he does. Think you could watch with us, give her a bit of a footy education?”
“Yeh.” She sounded shy again. “I always watch.”
He sighed. “It’s definitely true. I haven’t given you nearly enough credit.”
She laughed, and he grinned, and he walked back up the track with his sister and felt like a brother. And maybe even like a friend.
Maid Service
Faith bent, hefted the heavy mop bucket, and set it down at the edge of the carpet that marked the delineation between the house’s living and dining areas. She gave a final few pushes of the mop across the last of the acreage of heavy stone flooring, then jumped and turned at the hand on her shoulder.
“Oh! Hi.” She pulled the headphones out of her ears even as she felt the hot color rise.
Will grinned at her. “Can’t believe you’re blushing. All I’m doing is looking at you.”
“I know,” she said with chagrin. “So stupid. It’s just…new, I guess.”
He bent to kiss her, one hand resting beside hers on the mop handle, the other on her shoulder. “New’s good,” he said when he’d stood back again. “New’s brilliant.”
“Yeah. It kind of is, isn’t it?”
She’d wondered, when she’d woken up to find him gone, what to expect. Whether it would be awkward when she saw him again, whether he would be sorry, or whether she should be.
She hadn’t meant to do it. She’d had every intention of
not
doing it. She was pretty sure there was some major heartbreak ahead for her, but she couldn’t bring herself to care. It might have been the wrong choice, but it hadn’t felt like a choice at all. When he’d held her, when he’d kissed her, she’d been no more able to resist him than to deny the pull of gravity, and looking at him now, she knew it was still true.
“So…” He glanced at her bare feet, at the forgotten mop in her hand. “You’ve been busy yourself. Not quite how I was expecting to find you.”
“Saturday morning’s cleaning time, apparently.” She brought herself back to earth with an effort. “And since Talia wasn’t here, and I’m going for points with your mom anyway, it seemed like the thing for a houseguest to do.” She wrung the mop out one last time, then hefted the bucket and headed for the garage.
“I’ve got it.” He took it from her and carried it to the laundry sink. “So is that it? You done?” he asked hopefully after he had dumped the dirty water and rinsed the bucket.
“Not hardly. This is one big house.”
“Downside, eh. Never thought of it that way. I’d better help, then, because I’ve got plans for us today, and they’re not mopping the floor.”
“Well, my next job is cleaning the upstairs bathrooms. That sound any better?”
He laughed. “Not so much.”
“It’s what I’m doing, though. Want to join me, big shot?”
“Reckon I’d better,” he said with a sigh. “If I were with the squad right now the way I’m meant to be, I’d be looking for something lovely and relaxing to do before the game. Be watching TV, walking by the sea, making the time pass until it was time to get taped up. I never thought of cleaning the bathroom.”
“Live and learn,” she said cheerfully. “How to behave yourself so you don’t get yourself demoted to toilet duty.”
“Oh, I don’t know. It’s had its compensations.”
“Then let’s go.”
He followed her up the stairs and along to the big master suite and into the bathroom that his mother and grandmother shared between their bedrooms, and waited while she dug under the sink for supplies.
“Want to do the tub?” she asked.
“I don’t mind,” he said, then stood and looked at her expectantly.
“What?” she asked.
He shrugged a bit sheepishly. “You may have to tell me how.”
“You’re kidding. You’ve never cleaned a bathtub?”
“Well, not to say
cleaned.”
“What, you just live in filth? I was in your house. I don’t believe it.”
“I’ve had cleaners for a good long time now, though. And before that, when I lived with mates—well, maybe we just…let it go. You’re standing up anyway, aren’t you. And there’s water running.”
“That is disgusting. Why even have a toilet? There’s water running anyway.”
He laughed. “Now who’s disgusting? And that’s why I don’t live with my mates anymore. There’s a reason I never sat in the tub, let’s put it that way. So come on. If you don’t want me to be disgusting anymore, show me how to clean it. In case I fall on hard times and have to rely on my own resources.”
She gave him instructions and got him started, even though it made her want to laugh. “Put some of that muscle into it,” she told him. “You have to scrub. Get all the walls and everything. Top to bottom.”
“Why? They’re not dirty.”
“Because they got cleaned last week, that’s why they’re not dirty. You don’t clean when you can see dirt. You clean so you
can’t
see dirt.”
“Right.” He started in, and she had to smile. Her big tough rugby star, scrubbing his grandmother’s bathtub.
“So how did you spend your morning?” she asked, starting on the toilet. To her, unlike Will, this was familiar territory. “That was a long gym visit.”