Sweet Talk Boxed Set (Ten NEW Contemporary Romances by Bestselling Authors to Benefit Diabetes Research plus BONUS Novel) (81 page)

It wasn’t the journals or the items Charlie had run from all these years.

It wasn’t even the memory of that horrible day.

Those things...they’d all sculpted her into the person she was today. A woman with a heart for children. A woman who needed to be loved.

These letters were the reason she’d left her box in hiding, the reason she never wanted to talk of the past, and the real reason she’d never wanted to help Diane in her quest to find the father who had abandoned them so many years ago.

She had two options: Deal with these letters and what they meant for her future with Marcus, or place them back in the box and go back to living the life she knew—but focused on her sister and her healing.

No, actually there was a third option. And it had nothing to do with Marcus, or even her sister.

She could face these letters, face what they meant to her and why she’d been so afraid and, possibly for the first time in her life, be free.

The idea of being free soothed her soul, and that was when she knew she’d made her choice.

She picked up the stack of letters and pulled the string. She would deal with these letters for herself...and her alone. Hopefully it would mean a future with Marcus and would help her be strong for her sister once the weight of her psychosis really settled on Diane after her healing . . . but regardless, if Marcus walked away and her sister never fully recovered, Charlie would know the truth.

 She pulled out the letter she’d read so many years ago from a hospice located in Portland. Her father’s remains had been cremated and buried, and it wasn’t until later that they’d found a stack of letters with his belongings. Until then the hospice had been under the impression that there had been no next of kin.

When she’d first read the letter, she’d quickly stuffed it back in the envelope and tossed the other letters to the side, eventually placing them in the box with the things she hadn’t wanted to deal with. She’d never told Diane, and one day she’d have to apologize for that.

She picked a random letter and carefully opened it.

My daughters. There are days when I wonder what life would have been like if I’d come back to you after seeking out the help I needed. Would you have welcomed me with open arms or hateful glares? Not knowing is probably why I’ve never mailed any of these letters and probably why I never will. Thirty-five years ago today, I watched your mother walk down the aisle and pledge her love to me, and I can’t help but wonder if either one of you has done the same? Have you found love? I hope you have. Knowing your mother’s love, however briefly, was the best thing that had ever happened to me.

Love, your father

 Charlie opened another one, read similar things about his regret and memories of the past, then another...until the one she held in her hands.

My daughters.
Every letter she opened, he started the same.
I am dying. It’s been a long time coming, but I hope it is swift. I have two regrets in my life, only two true regrets: not recognizing the pain your mother was in, and leaving you both. I have no excuses other than I thought the love you would receive from your aunt was worth more than what I could give you. You didn’t deserve an alcoholic father, but then, you didn’t deserve to see your mother the way she was either. You didn’t deserve to grow up feeling abandoned by your parents—and I can only pray that you didn’t grow up feeling that way at all. Mags told me she had enough love for you both to fill the emptiness my absence would leave. I hope she was right.

Charlie dropped the letter and bowed her head, tears falling from her face onto the pages, leaving them damp. Reading the words, words he’d written knowing they would probably never be read... He shared his heart, and all those holes, the splinters and crevices of hurt she’d tried to ignore, slowly healed as she read of his love for them.

He never once asked for forgiveness, probably because he didn’t feel worthy of it, and yet she knew that if he stood in front of her today and whispered it so softly that it might have been missed, she would have given it to him.

She didn’t question why, didn’t try to argue with herself that he didn’t deserve it—she just gave it. Her father died alone, believing he was unloved, and no one deserved that. No one.

She might never fully understand, and no matter how many letters he’d written, she might never get the answers she sought about why he left them, why he never came back...but it didn’t matter anymore either.

She’d been loved. Even if her father hadn’t shown it in the way she needed, he’d loved her.

For now, that was enough.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

When Charlie walked into the hospital, it was with a lighter heart. After an afternoon spent reading all of their father’s letters, the pain she’d always feared didn’t seem so...evident. She knew they wouldn’t disappear completely and that she’d have moments of doubt here and there, but on the whole, her heart felt different.

She could only think that was a good thing.

She’d called Marcello earlier and asked whether she could pick up dinner for her and Diane tonight, and from what she could smell coming from the bags she carried, he’d made all of Diane’s favorite things.

“Charlie, good to see you.” Nina met her at the nurses’ station, her eyes alight with laughter and a full smile on her face.

“I brought dinner, and I swear Marcello packed enough in there for everyone on the floor. You’ll join us, right?” She set the bags down.

Nina peered inside a few of the bags. “Only if you brought enough cupcakes.”

Charlie pointed to one of the bags. “There’s more than enough,” she said. She couldn’t decide on what kind to pick, so she brought a dozen, a mixture of all her favorites. She knew they wouldn’t go to waste, that the nurses on staff would help themselves as well.

“How’s my sister?”

Nina leaned against the nurses’ station, her posture relaxed, her shoulders loose, and sighed. “This is the best I’ve seen her in a long time. Gives me hope, to tell you the truth.”

“Does she know where she is?”

“Not really. She still thinks she’s at home, but she’s lucid and full of conversation, and has been asking about you all day. Why don’t I go get everything set up in the eating area and you bring her down?”

“You mean she’ll come with me?” This surprised Charlie.

“Just let her know dinner is ready. She thinks I’m off making you guys a special meal.”

Charlie was curious now. While Diane wasn’t completely healed—if she were then she’d realize she was in a hospital, at least—it was a step.

She realized today that life was all about taking small steps, about seizing the situation and making the most of it.

It was why she’d booked herself a flight to San Antonio tonight. No more waiting for Marcus to contact her, to give her the space he thought she needed. She knew what she wanted, what she needed, and being with him was the first thing on her list.

The moment she walked into Diane’s room, her sister launched herself at her and hugged her tight. “I’ve been waiting all day to see you.”

“Hi to you too.” Charlie hugged her sister back something fierce. This was the first time—the first time since Diane had been admitted—that she’d done this. This was the sister she remembered, the sister she’d been missing.

“Where have you been?” Diane pulled back and looked her over.

“I had some things to deal with today, but I brought cupcakes to make up for it.”

Diane glanced around. “You did? Where? What kind? My favorites, right? I’m so hungry I could eat a dozen of them right now.”

“Who are you, and what happened to my sister?” Charlie teased her. She could have all the cupcakes if she wanted them, if it meant her actually eating. “Come on; let’s go eat.”

Charlie walked with Diane down the hall, arm in arm, until they met up with Nina, who’d just finished setting a table for them.

“Smells amazing.” Diane breathed it all in and giggled when her stomach growled.

Charlie helped Nina, bringing the plates over full of the delicious pasta and chicken Marcello had had his kitchen prepare.

“Are you sure she’s okay?” Charlie asked Nina. “She seems extra...” She couldn’t really put her finger on it, but there was a hint of something that bothered her.

“Excitable? It’s because you’re here. And yes, she’s fine. She’ll probably be very subdued tomorrow, tired and sleepy, but for now it’s fine.” Nina smiled over at Diane.

“That reminds me, I won’t be here tomorrow,” Charlie said. “Marcus flew to San Antonio for a meeting at headquarters and I’m joining him tonight.”

“I appreciate your telling me. Hold off on telling Diane right away, though, okay? Let her enjoy this moment.”

Charlie agreed, and for the remainder of dinner the conversation was kept light, and led mainly by Diane. Nina shooed them into the media room after dinner to get settled in for their movie while she cleaned up, but not before placing a few pre-picked cupcakes on a plate, which Diane held in her hands as they walked to the room next door.

“So what are we watching?” Charlie asked once they sat down on the couch, her legs curled under her.

She could tell Diane wasn’t really paying attention to her, though; rather, her gaze was focused on the coffee table in front of them where she’d placed the cupcakes.

“Don’t tell me you’re still hungry?” Charlie leaned back, her hand rubbing her belly, indicating just how full she felt. “You even had seconds.”

“There’s still room for cake. Don’t you remember Aunt Mags always telling us that when cake was involved, there was always room?” Diane giggled and leaned back against the couch. “I miss her. She would have loved to have seen Grace, to hold her in her arms—” Her voice broke off as she looked around the room.

This was the first time since Charlie had come tonight that Diane had mentioned Grace.

“Mags made the best cakes, didn’t she? I used to love when she’d make the cinnamon crumble cake for us after school, or her carrot cupcakes—minus the raisins.” Charlie needed to keep the conversation flowing and away from Grace. She really didn’t want that doll to be involved tonight.

“Mine had raisins,” Diane said.

“She spoiled us. Same with how I love vanilla and you’d always ask for chocolate-”

“So she’d make a marble cake,” Diane finished for her. “With swirled icing. No one baked like Aunt Mags; that’s for sure.”

They sat there, smiling at each other while they remembered the aunt who loved them more than life. It was also a good beginning for what Charlie had in mind.

“I know she could never replace Mom and Dad, but she did a good job, don’t you think?” Diane asked.

“She had enough love to fill the void in our hearts,” Charlie mumbled quietly, thinking about the words their father had written. “Diane, do you remember how Mags used to tell us that if we let our hearts lead us in life, we could never go wrong?” Charlie asked.

Diane nodded.

“Do you think we’ve done that?” Charlie couldn’t get her aunt’s words out of her head lately.

Diane shrugged. “I think we have, to the best of our ability. Don’t you?” She looked questioningly at Charlie, as if trying to figure out where she was going with the conversation.

“Sometimes I wonder.”

“Charlie, is something wrong?” Diane leaned forward. “Are you sick? Is there something going on that you haven’t told me about?” A distressed look appeared on her face, and Charlie searched for something to say to set her at ease.

“Are you leaving?” Diane asked.

“What? No. I promised I’d stay as long as you needed me to.”

“Explain the cupcakes then.”

A sheepish grin crept onto Charlie’s face for a few moments before it disappeared. She set her plate back down on the coffee table and reached for her sister’s hand. She suddenly felt like a small child caught with her hand in the cookie jar.

“I found something that I wanted to talk to you about.”

She wasn’t exactly sure why she’d brought it, but she’d known that if there ever came an opportunity, she would take hold of it. Nina had no idea, and Charlie hoped she wouldn’t get in trouble for what she was about to do.

She pulled from her purse the journal she’d taken from the box in Diane’s room earlier and held it out.

Diane let out a long sigh. “Please tell me you didn’t read it.” Trepidation filled her voice.

“I didn’t read your journal. We promised each other we wouldn’t.” Charlie shook her head as she opened the journal, flipping through the pages until she came to where she’d replaced the note she’d found before. The note with the words that had haunted her since reading them.

“I did find this, however.” She pulled the note out and held it out for Diane to take.

Diane didn’t say anything, just sat there and read it. By now Charlie knew the words Diane read by heart.

There is nothing I want more in life than to be a mother.

There’s no greater gift.

Laying my life down with gladness in my heart and a smile on my face is an honour, a gift to those I love.

My children will know that I sacrificed all for their happiness.

Hush now. Your tears rip me in half. Just close your eyes and let go. All will be well when we open our eyes once again.

Then we’ll be together in a world where there will be no more tears.

I love you more than life.

When she was finished reading it, she just placed it on her lap and sat there quietly.

Charlie couldn’t take the silence. “Why didn’t you burn it, or throw it out, at least?” That was the one thing Charlie couldn’t wrap her head around. “Why keep it as a reminder? Why torture yourself like this?” If it had been her, she would have torn the paper into tiny little pieces and set it out of her mind, never to think about it again. She wouldn’t have kept it.