Sweetheart Deal (24 page)

thirty-one

It took hours, or
what felt like hours, for Eloise to slice through the rope so she could untie me. Together we freed Frank. We ate our peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for strength, and decided on a strict rationing plan for the items in the first backpack, which, to Ivan's credit, was filled with energy-dense foods like dried fruit, nuts, and beef jerky. While he was also kind enough to load the second backpack with useful items— a flashlight, Advil, bandages, first-aid cream, a mini water purifier and, as a small salve for Eloise's wounded heart, a bag of Hershey's Kisses, we were determined not to stay put for very long.

After a brief discussion, Frank
semi-relented
about whose rights and lefts were the most right by claiming he'd misunderstood at first and that we were both saying the same thing because the backward direction of left, right, right, left, straight, was in fact, straight, right, left, left, right. That issue settled, we decided to chart our way out of the cave.

How we would get off the island was another problem entirely, but we all agreed it was a much better one than being stuck in a cave, given the choice.

The more vexing problem, we soon discovered, was that there were at least ten tunnels leading into the cave.

Seeing as Eloise could only remember that we appeared “somewhere in the middle of the water” we decided to start exploring in pairs, and then charting and marking the various exits.

“Number one is a dead end,” I said, having explored a hole just beneath the ledge, which not only seemed to be in the wrong location and felt a little too large, but turned out to be a crater that lacked any tunnels.

Frank marked the spot by scratching a large NO on the rock wall above for future archeologists to mull over.

Two holes later, one of which had a promising
straight-right
combo before
dead-ending
, the light filtering into the cave through cracks in the ceiling gave way to darkness.

“I didn't want to have to spend even one night in here,” Frank said, fumbling for the flashlight.

“But it may not be our last, so don't waste the batteries, even for a second.”

“I won't,” he said locating a small camping blanket that Ivan had included in the supplies backpack.

“Ivan told me he discovered this cave,” Eloise said as Frank and I huddled together under the blanket on either side of her. “Do you think he's the only one who knows about it?”

“I don't want to think about that,” Frank said.

“Do you think there's a chance anyone could be looking for us yet?” she asked.

“I don't know what to think,” I said. “No one knows to suspect Ivan of anything.”

“And we paid that man at the dock not to say anything to anyone about us taking the jet ski.”

“Even if he did, there are so many islands,” Eloise said.

“The boys know we came out here looking for you and Ivan,” I said.

“Why did we insist they stay put and not talk to anyone?” Frank moaned.

“Because it seemed like the only way to keep them safe.”

“There's no way anyone is going to find us in here if Ivan doesn't send someone,” Eloise added unhelpfully.

Frank said, “That's why we'll find our way out first thing in the morning.”

“Yes,” I agreed.

“Definitely.”

The cave grew silent enough to hear the quiet symphony of slow drips and droplets of water.

“I'm scared,” Eloise said.

“Me too,” Frank said.

“So am I …”

“Maddie! Dad!” Eloise whispered shaking both Frank and I awake from a surprisingly sound slumber given that we were huddled together under a single blanket on a mattress made of rock.

“What?”

“What is it?”

“Listen to that noise.”

There was a new and distinct bubbling sound echoing through the cavern.

“What is that?” Frank asked, fumbling for the flashlight.

“Do we even know what kind of creatures live in cenotes?” Eloise's voice cracked. “I mean, other than small fish?”

“That's all I saw,” I said. “But look …”

I pointed to a faint light deep beneath the water.

“Please don't let that be an electric eel …” Eloise said. “I hate—”

“Electric eels are the least of our problems,” Frank said, flipping on the flashlight, locating both the scissors and the clippers, and handing them to us.

“You think it's him?”

“Who else could it be?”

“Why would he come back?”

“I don't know, but as soon as he rises to the surface, Maddie will clonk him with the clippers. Eloise, you hold the scissors to his neck until we tie him up.” Frank and I had somehow swapped roles, and he was now the calm one while I fretted.

“But what if I knock him out and he has a concussion and can't remember how to get us out of here?” I asked.

“Let's see exactly where he's coming from. That way we'll know how to get out of here even if he's incapacitated.” Frank shined the light on the bubbles and pointed. “He's definitely coming out right there—from the middle of that back wall.”

“I'm ready,” I said, leaning toward the water, the clippers poised over my head.

That was when I noticed a second person emerging from the tunnel.

“What is—”

“What do we—”

Before I could say the word
do
, a head broke the surface of the water.

“
Policía
!” the first diver shouted. “No one move.”

We all froze, makeshift weapons in hand. A second diver rose to the surface.

“
Hola!
” he shouted, and lifted his mask. “It's me, Felipe.”

“Felipe?” I said, stunned.

Eloise dropped the scissors and burst into tears of joy.

“I had a feeling this was where we'd find you,” Felipe headed toward us. “Thankfully you're all alive.”

The policeman continued to search the cave with a flashlight. “Where is he?”

“Gone,” I said, the adrenaline giving way to a huge flood of relief. “Long gone.”

Felipe shook his head. “I knew we should have come here first.”

“Does anyone need medical assistance?” the police officer asked.

“We're okay,” I said. “Thank you for rescuing us so quickly.”

“I can't tell you how grateful we are,” Frank said, offering both men a hand out of the water.

“How did you know about this place?” I asked.

“I grew up playing on these islands,” Felipe said. “I know all of them, which is why I was brought along to help.”

“But Ivan told me he discovered this cave,” Eloise said.

“That gringo?” Felipe snickered. “La Caverna del Oro has a long and colorful history as a vault for Mayan treasure, a pirate hideout, and, for a few people I know, one of the most thrilling romantic spots they've ever brought a significant other.”

He looked so wistful that I suspected he counted himself amongst the lucky. I myself felt the luckiest I'd felt since, well, the last time I'd been rescued.

“When Enrique told us that no one knew more about the history of this area than you, I never imagined your knowledge would be critical to our lives,” Frank said. “Thank you again.”

“At your service,” Felipe said with a smile.

We took turns hugging him as the police officer continued to check out the cave.

“How did you figure out that Ivan killed Alejandro?” I asked.

“We didn't,” the police officer said.

“Like I told you, the whole situation made no sense at all,” Felipe said. “Alejandro was a difficult guy who dealt in some rough circles, but no employee would dare hurt him. As for the bigger players, they'd go after someone higher up in the de la Fortuna family.”

“Then we figured out that Ivan attacked Geo,” the police officer said.

“How?” I asked.

“A guest at the water park found the underwater camera lodged between some rocks on the opposite shoreline of the inlet.”

“That's incredible,” Frank said.

“So was the video of Ivan exiting an alternate tunnel and grabbing Geo from behind,” said the officer.

“He confessed to killing Alejandro,” I said, “because of a timeshare deal gone wrong.”

“Murder, attempted murder, and kidnapping,” the officer said. “That's going be a pretty hard rap to beat.”

“Did you catch him yet?” Eloise asked.

“They hadn't when we left to come out here,” he said. “But how about we get you back so we can find out?”

“I can't think of anything I'd like to do more,” I said.

“Follow me,” Felipe said. “I'll lead the way.”

After an infinitely less terrifying series of rights and lefts, none of which I paid any attention to, we were once again blessed by a beautiful starlit sky. We retraced our path, now moonlit, back to the rocky natural harbor and onto an awaiting boat.

It wasn't until we were well on our way back toward the mainland that I thought of one more unanswered question.

“Felipe,” I asked reveling in the ocean breeze for what felt like the first time in my life. “How did you know to look for us out here?”

“It was a little tricky,” he said. “As soon as the police saw the tape, they started looking for Ivan. When they couldn't find him, we figured he might be with Eloise so we called, looked for you all over the resort, checked with people from your show, and finally headed toward your room with a master key. On the way, I ran into that young man who's been spending time with your sons.”

“Liam?” I asked.

“He said he was supposed to meet the boys and was concerned about where they were. I explained to him that we'd found the tape and that we were worried about the entire family. He didn't know where the boys or Maddie and Frank were, but he did know one crucial detail.”

“Which was?”

“He told us Eloise had gone off jet skiing with Ivan.”

“How did he know that?” Frank asked.

“I think it might have been me again,” Eloise said with a shrug. “I saw Liam and told him just before I met up with Ivan. Ivan told me not to tell anyone, actually, but I was so excited about it, I figured what the heck …”

I gave her a hug. “Thank goodness you did.”

thirty-two

All I really wanted
was to return safely and quietly to shore, hug my boys, and sleep in the comfort of an honest to goodness, genuine bed until I woke up with the last eighteen or so hours behind me. Seeing as the local
jefe de policía
and company were already at the hotel awaiting a debrief about our island adventure, I knew it would be a while until my head could be reacquainted with the divine softness of an actual pillow.

The very last thing I wanted was a huge welcoming committee, but, to no surprise, we arrived to a lineup of everyone from Antonio to Zelda, as well as various onlookers, the local news, and all three
Family Frugalicious
camera crews (no doubt being paid double overtime for working in the wee hours of the morning), all poised to capture our triumphant return to the Hacienda de la Fortuna.

Ignoring the cameras and the crowd, we rushed off the boat toward the boys, who'd been waiting for us to pull in at the end of the dock.

“Do you realize how scared we were?” FJ asked hugging me tightly. “We couldn't even leave the room or ask anyone where you were.”

“We ate everything in the mini bar,” Trent said, looking pale and weary despite his tan. “Right away.”

“I'm so sorry,” Eloise said, embracing her brothers. “This was really all my fault.”

“How was it your—”

“All that matters is that you three are back safe and sound,” pronounced Anastasia, making her
on-camera
appearance with tears running down her face for dramatic effect. “And that the network is committed to doing whatever it takes to catch that murderer.”

The onslaught of eager, concerned onlookers descended upon us from there.

“Please allow me to be the first to thank you and express our sincere appreciation on behalf of the Hacienda de la Fortuna for everything you've done and been through,” Enrique said, wearing rumpled clothes and a day's worth of beard. “We are so grateful that everything can now return to normal.”

“I apologize for having had to be so secretive, but now you understand,” the mayor said, standing with both Elena and Benito. All three looked like they'd grabbed whatever outfit was nearest their various beds and rushed over to be part of the fanfare. “My family is forever in your debt.”

“Alejandro was so complimentary of you,” Elena said to me. “If only he were here to know how right he was about you and your incredible family.”

Benito hugged us. “I wouldn't have made it in jail for even for a day.”

“Thank you,” Antonio said. “I am now free to work with the mayor to make my brother's dream expansion a reality without the fear that paralyzed all of us around here.”

“The
jefe de policía
is waiting to take your statement,” a police officer said, gently guiding me toward the walkway leading to the hotel lobby.

Two of the other officers who'd been part of the search effort fell in to help push through the growing circus. As we walked, we did our best to acknowledge but not comment on the nonstop remarks and questions being fired in our direction:

Why? Why did he do it?

Everyone loved that jerk. He needs to be locked away forever.

To think there was a serial killer on the loose …

Did he give any hints who he was planning to kill next?

Only Frank stopped to address a local TV reporter.

“How does it feel to have escaped such a clever, ruthless killer?” the reported asked.

“Indescribable,” Frank said. He seemed to be poised to say something more, when something else caught his attention just inside the lobby.

Or rather, someone.

“Dude,” FJ said, also spotting Liam and waving him over from where he stood with Face, Hair, Body, and their significant others.

“My mom told me they found all of you and to come down to the lobby,” Liam said rubbing sleep from his eyes. “So glad you're okay.”

“You saved our lives,” Eloise said.

“Me?”

“My man, you're a hero,” Trent said. “No one but us knew that Ivan had taken Eloise jet skiing out to the islands.”

“And Mom and Dad made us stay in the room and forbid us to talk to anyone,” FJ said.

“Which was really pretty dumb when you think about it,” Trent said.

“It didn't seem dumb when we thought we were dealing with a murderous cartel,” Frank said. “We wanted to keep you boys safe.”

“Liam, you saved the day by telling Felipe where Eloise and Ivan went,” I said. “If it weren't for you, we'd still be trapped down in that cave.”

“Indefinitely,” Eloise said.

“So, thank you,” I said.

“You're welcome,” he said dubiously, and a little pink in the cheeks.

“Yes,” Frank said, “thank you.” He glanced at FJ for a split second, and then stepped over and gave the boy a hug.

While sleep seemed nowhere imminent, we soon found ourselves in the relative quiet of a conference room with only the local chief of police, a translator, and Philip, our personal chief of police/bridegroom, firing questions at us.

The chiefs (as well as the boys, who insisted they be allowed to sit in) questioned us about every detail, starting with the note I found on the door and all the way up to Ivan's promise he would send help as soon as he got wherever it was he was planning to go.

“Any hints as to where he might have gone?” El Jefe asked.

“No idea,” Eloise said, “But he did tell me he loves to surf in Costa Rica.”

“Don't we all,” El Jefe said, jotting a note.

As soon as he was satisfied that we'd covered as much as there was to know, he showed us four seconds of tape in which a man was clearly grabbing Geo's leg and misdirecting him. While his face wasn't visible, the sea turtle tattoo on his right forearm definitely was.

Ivan.

“And you say he killed Alejandro because of a timeshare dispute?” Philip asked.

“A timeshare sold to him under false pretenses,” I found myself saying. “He came down here to try and settle things amicably, but Alejandro wouldn't budge.”

“We've definitely seen our fair share of skirmishes over timeshares,” the translator said for El Jefe.

“But no murders?” I asked.

“I suppose it was bound to happen.”

“I'm surprised it hasn't happened sooner given the sales tactics and
impossible-to
-understand fine print.”

El Jefe shrugged. “Just the way it's done.”

“Maybe it should be done differently,” I said.

“That's not my call,” he said.

“Ivan told us he only ever planned to confront Alejandro, not kill him.”

“But he took the law into his own hands, then tried to deflect suspicion with the attack on Geo. Not to mention that he left you to die in a cave.”

“He left us food and a water purifier and even a
first-aid
kit,” Eloise said.

“Which we'd have gone through pretty quick,” Frank said.

I had no choice but nod in agreement.

“I can't believe Ivan did all that,” Trent said. “He seemed like such a
super-great
guy.”

“Tell me about it,” Eloise said, tearing up.

“His real name is Evan Matthews,” Philip said. “He is
twenty-nine
, divorced, comes from Orange County, California, and has no prior criminal record.”

“His name is really Evan?” Eloise said. “I can't believe he didn't even tell me his real name.”

“What a shame.” Frank shook his head. “Ivan—I mean, Evan—was planning to be a lawyer.”

“He looked too young to be married and divorced already,” FJ said.

“He looks much older with a shaved head,” Eloise said.

“He shaved off those cool dreads?” Trent asked.

Frank nodded. “He's all but unrecognizable, which will make him a lot harder to catch.”

“But we will catch him,” El Jefe said. “Of that, you can rest assured.”

The only thing I wanted to do was rest, but the moment we finished answering questions about Ivan/Evan the kids were sent off to sleep, but we were escorted across the lobby to recount our story once more for the
Family Frugalicious
cameras.

We arrived just in time to hear Sara, Susan, and Sally and company wrap up their
end-of
-
the-night
-recap with some final thoughts about our rescue and their overall experience:

“This whole week has been unlike anything I've ever experienced,” Sally said.

“It's been quite a ride,” Sara said, looking
moony-eyed
beside groomsman Dave.

Susan sighed.

“I keep telling Susan that despite it all, we've made out like bandits,” her husband Michael said. “All of us were way more involved in the whole reality TV aspect and everyone got timeshares for a song.”

“Good point,” Sara said. “I suppose all's well that ends well, right?”

“True,” Sally said. “But do you think our sacrifice scene will be cut now that all the other drama has happened?”

“I have a surprise,” Anastasia said as the sisters were cleared out and we assembled on chairs to recount the pertinent details of
all the other drama
.

“They've found Iv—Evan?” I asked.

“He's still at large, but he won't be for long.” She smiled. “Not after we tie reality TV in with real life in a way no one has ever tried before.”

“And how is that?”

She smiled. “How does a worldwide manhunt for Evan in connection with the show grab you?”

“The ratings would be monster,” Frank said.

“Don't you think?” Stasia gushed.

I couldn't stop thinking about some of the things Ivan had said as part of his confession.

My plan was to come down and fight him in court and/or the court of public opinion.

Why are these outfits allowed to lie and manipulate people?

Why hasn't anyone stepped up to stop this kind of unethical behavior?

I stopped one man
.
I just wish there weren't so many Alejandros out there, eager to bully people out of their money and happiness for the promise of paradise
.

Evan would eventually have to deal with the ramifications of his actions, but in that moment I realized what had been bothering me even more than my experience as a hostage in the midst of yet another murder. “I think we have a major problem.”

“What do you mean?” Anastasia asked.

“What is our show really about?” I asked.

“Our family sniffing out good deals and the best bargains for other families in a
slice-of
-life reality TV format,” Frank said as if I had the intellect of a
below-average
kindergartner.

“Do you agree, Anastasia?”

She nodded. “With some interesting subplots thrown in for good measure.”

“Glad to hear you admit that, which I'd love to discuss when I had a bit of sleep,” I said. “In the meantime, I believe we're going to scrap this whole episode.”

“What in the heck are you—” Frank said, abruptly stopping
mid-sentence
. “Evan—”

“Evan what?” Anastasia asked.

“Oh man,” Frank said, putting his head in his hands. “I didn't think of that.”

“Think of what?” Anastasia asked.

I steeled myself for what I knew I had to do. “You know how our experience in the timeshare department was pleasant and
pressure-free
?”

“That's how they do it here at Hacienda de la Fortuna.”

“Really?” I asked. “How much research did you do?”

“We looked into timeshares,” she said. “You saw it.”

“Can I possibly see your phone?”

She handed it over, I Googled “Hacienda de la Fortuna Horror Stories,” opened the first site, and handed it back to her. “Read.”

She began to read.

“Ivan, or whatever his real name is, snapped because of how horribly he was treated after being pressured to buy a timeshare, lied to about the cancelation policy, and then threatened for months on end.”

“Can any of this be substantiated?” Anastasia asked, still scrolling through a conversation thread filled with complaints against Hacienda de la Fortuna.

“I met a couple this weekend dealing with a similar issue, and there are apparently many, many more,” I said. “Even if these folks are the exception and not the rule, how can we air an episode on budget destination weddings and the lure of timeshares with a side dish of murder when—”

“When the murderer killed in a blind rage over the way he was treated at the timeshare office?” Anastasia said finishing my sentence.

“I can't in good conscience recommend people come down to this resort, much less suggest they take the timeshare tour,” I said. “In fact, I don't believe I can keep the timeshare given to us.”

“But …” Frank said. “There has to be some way we can …”

“You're right,” Anastasia finally said, but looking as if all the blood had drained from her face. “We have a major problem.”