Sweetwater: The Kihn (The Sweet Series) (12 page)

I’m suddenly roasting in Jake’s coat. I feel certain I will suffocate before I get it unbuttoned. Diane has to help me, and her hands are trembling. I glance into her cornflower-blue eyes, large with her fear. “Everything is going to be okay,” I whisper, hoping that’s the truth.

She nods, wanting to believe me.

In a way, I wish I could spend the rest of the night alone with my thoughts, but my two best friends are with me. I’ll have to save any in-depth review of what I’ve seen tonight.

I never told anyone about the horror of my nightmares because I figured people would think I was crazy. If I tell them that the Kihn have haunted me for years, will they believe or judge me a liar? Or worse?

A part of me wants to tell Diane and Emma Rae. But how? Diane is already spooked and will truly freak out. Plus, I have no answer for why the Kihn came to me in my dreams. My feelings about Nick need to wait too. His actions trouble me.

The three of us pile into my bed, and we talk ourselves to sleep. My last thought before drifting off is of a pair of eyes, in deep shadow, looking at me from under the bill of a cap.

Sam and Sawyer stay the night too, leaving early with Jake to tend to the livestock. We girls decide we aren’t in the mood for our exercise class, and I have an errand to run. We make plans to meet later at the Shotgun Shack.

I pace around the house for a while, thinking about Nick. I’m still a little angry with him. I’m bothered that he hasn’t called and that he left last night without saying good-bye. Earlier in the week, we’d gone out to eat, coming back to my house for a movie. We had a good evening, eating popcorn and poking fun at the movie. We ended up wrestling around and tickling each other. I discovered Nick is as ticklish as I am. At one point, we toppled to the floor, laughing. Nick rolled us over and kissed me until I was breathless. He told me he was falling in love with me.

I’m still not sure how I feel about his declaration. I leave that thought for later because I need to do something. I wrap up a pound cake left over from the party—bless Jordanna and Lucy for tucking all the food away last night—and head out.

As I drive along the country road, I marvel at the enchantment of the season’s first snowfall. The sunshine makes the snow-covered branches sparkle. Everything appears fresh, pristine. I turn on the narrow lane, drive into the clearing, and stop to look around. It’s incredibly beautiful. The snow diminishes the shabbiness of the old house and restores some of the splendor the grand mansion must have displayed in its day. I drive around to the back and park, sitting in the Jeep after shutting off the engine to get my nerve together. After a few minutes, I gather up the cake and trudge through the snow to the house.

Estella opens the kitchen door before I knock. Dressed in dark clothes again, with her hair drawn back into a ponytail at the nape of her neck, she looks neat as a pin. “Sofia, I brewed a pot of tea. Won’t you come in and have a cup?” Her voice is deep. I hadn’t noticed that before.

“Thank you.” I stomp my feet free of snow and step into the warm, sunny kitchen. “I’ve brought you a pound cake.” I offer it to her.

“How thoughtful of you. Thank you.” She sets the cake on the countertop and takes down cups and saucers from the shelf.

“I hope I’m not imposing, just dropping by.” I glance around the kitchen, wondering if Lucian will join us. I’m not exactly nervous about being alone with Estella. What I need to speak to her about is private anyway.

“You are not imposing,” she assures me as she sets saucers with slices of cake on the table. “Sit, please.” She brings our cups of tea and joins me.

“We had visitors at my house last night.”

“Tell me.” She listens carefully without interrupting. “It is good Santiago is here at last.” And that’s all she says o
n the subject.

I take a sip of tea. I’m not sure if being here is the right thing. I bite my bottom lip and turn my teacup round and round. I glance at Estella. She holds her cup with both hands, watching me.

Okay. I need to know. “Um... the night Nick brought me here to meet you?” Estella gives a single nod. I lick my lips nervously. “As you... when you came into the room...” I take a deep breath. “You looked at me and then glanced behind me as if you saw someone else.”

“You wish to know if I see your Palagar,” is her casual response.

“My what?”

Estella smiles slightly and looks over my shoulder. I am
not
going to look, but all of a sudden I feel a twitch at the back of my neck. As if she’s asking someone if she’s using the correct terminology, she says, “He is a type of… guardian?”

“Is that... what he is?” I whisper.

“That day in the grocery store, he is the reason I probed. I found myself curious about what you were.”

I swallow, nervous. “What... I am?” A chill moves over me.

“You do not see him?” I shake my head, biting my lip. “You are aware he is with you, though,” she states.

“I... I feel him sometimes... more than other times.”

“Does he speak to you?”

“He used to... in my dreams.” I guess I’m going all the way with this. “Sometimes, he would wake me from my nightmares.” Estella takes a sip of her tea. She doesn’t say anything—she waits. “I don’t have those types of dreams anymore.” I squirm a little and lean toward her. “Can you ask him why he’s here now?”

She answers quickly, “You might need him.” I take another deep breath. “You have no reason to fear him, child.”

“I-I learned a long time ago he won’t hurt me.”

“Do you wish to know his name?”

His name?
That catches me totally off guard. I feel the old, familiar fear surface. At last, I give a quick nod.

Estella smiles and starts to speak, then pauses. “He says—you can call him Harvey.”

I give a choked laugh. “Are his ears long and pointed?” She frowns slightly, looking at me quizzically. I shake my head, dismissing my question. She is totally serious. It surprises me that I want to know more. At least, I think I do. “Please, tell me about him.”

She stands and moves to the stove. “I am sorry, it is not my place.”

I look at her. “Whose place is it?”

She doesn’t answer as she brings the teapot to the table. She refills our cups and sits. “The story belongs to Harvey; I do not know it.”

“Can’t you ask him?”

“Why do you not ask him?” she questions with an eyebrow raised.

“He doesn’t talk to me other than in my dreams.” Not entirely true. He warned me, the night at the McNish, but I decide to remain quiet about that.

“You mentioned you no longer have nightmares, but you sense his presence.” Estella sees my frown and lays down her fork. “Sofia, he is here for you. Years ago, it was for a little girl having nightmares, now...” She shrugs and takes another sip of tea. “You are going to need him.” I exhale sharply. “He is with you for a reason. I told you, he is your guardian.”

“Why? What reason?” My heart beats with an unsteady pounding.

“Ask him,” she suggests.

I wouldn’t think it possible to be any more freaked out than I already am, but it just goes to show you things can always be worse. I have never wanted to dwell on his presence. Deep down, I’ve always been afraid that thinking about him will help the monsters find me.

“Child—” Estella reaches over and covers my hand with her warm one “—you do not need to fear him. You must learn to trust him.”

I think about what she says. He might not harm me physically, but his presence is not so great for my psyche. “Thank you for speaking with me.” I stand and carry my cup to the sink before slipping on my coat.

“Sofia, I enjoy your company. Please come back to visit again.”

“I will, thank you.” I walk slowly toward the door. I do have something else to ask. “Is he a ghost?”

Estella laughs. “No, he is no ghost.”

“Why can’t I see him if you can?”

“I don’t see him in a physical body. I see his… breath… his energy.”

“You said... a type of guardian. I’ve heard of guardian angels. Is that what he is?”

She smiles. “He is not an angel. He is your protector, your defender, and he is here for you.”

Okay
. “I guess,” I respond as I turn toward the door. “Please give my regards to Lucian.”

“Of course. He will be sorry he missed you.”

“Um...” I turn back to face her. “Would you please not say anything to...” I hesitate, not wanting to offend her.

“I will speak of nothing that you confide in me.”

“Thank you. Good-bye.”

“Sofia, please come back soon.”

“I will.”

I have a contemplative ride home. I went for answers, and now I have more questions. Slowing the Jeep to turn into my driveway, I think of Nick. He might think as I do, and a little time apart is probably a good thing. I’ve been with him nearly every night since I’ve been home. This was our first fight.

I don’t think I’m mad at him, mostly just annoyed. I am bothered that he didn’t say good-bye last night. Not hearing from him all day suggests he might be mad at me. Well, it’s better he finds out I have a temper now than later. But still.

I spend the rest of my Saturday afternoon pampering myself. I do a few stretches before showering. Afterward, I polish my fingernails and toenails and apply minimal makeup. I even dab on a little perfume, which I seldom wear.

I search through my closet before deciding on a cute pair of jeans I bought on sale right after Christmas. I ch
oose a soft, V-neck sweater with three-quarter length sleeves. I don’t wear this sweater often because it makes me too self-conscious. The fabric is thin and clingy with a different knit pattern around the neckline, drawing attention to my breasts. But it is a beautiful shade of green, and the sweater is one of my favorites.

I pull on a pretty matching bra and panties set in a lighter shade of green than the sweater. No one else will see my pretty underwear, but the confidence beautiful lingerie gives me is incredible. I slide into my clothes and pull on a pair of boots.

I’ve let my hair dry in curls and waves, so all I need is to run a quick brush through it, and I’m ready. I head to the kitchen as I hear Jake drive up. We’re having soup and sandwiches for supper. I’ll get everything ready while he showers.

“Hey,” I say as he comes in the back door.

“Hey, Sofe.” He gives me a look that lasts a little longer than warranted.

“What?” I look down at myself to see if something is amiss.

“When did you grow up into such a beautiful young woman?”

“Jake!” I turn away, not wanting him to see my red face. “Go shower.” I try to keep the grumpiness from my voice.

We’re driving to pick up Diane when I ask Jake about Nick. “Did you talk to him today?”

Jake hesitates before answering. “A little earlier.”

““Will he be there tonight?” When he doesn’t answer, I look at him. “Jake?”

“Sofe...”

“What?” He’s acting weird.

“I don’t think so,” he answers at last.

I sigh. “He’s mad at me,” I say with certainty.

Jake glances at me but doesn’t say anything else.

We pull into Diane’s driveway. Emma Rae’s car is parked beside Diane’s, and both girls bounce out of the house.

“Hey, what’s up?” I can tell something is.

“Would you ride with me to Murphy’s?” Emma Rae asks.

I get out. “Sure. I’ll see youn’s there.” Diane slides over beside Jake. When Emma Rae and I get into her car, I ask, “Why are we going to Murphy’s?”

“Reenie called, and she’s having a problem with the deep fryer. I need a Coke, and Diane wants me to pick up some chips.”

“Okay. Chips are a good idea. I think the guys need a popcorn machine at the shack.”

“Mmmm, they do. That would be yummy. Did you talk to Nick yet?”

“No. I asked Jake if he’d be coming tonight... He didn’t think so.”

“What’s up with that?”

I shrug. “I don’t know. He puzzles me sometimes.”

“Sofie, are you in love with Nick?”

I think about her question. I’ve been asking myself the same thing. “The other night...”

“Yeah?” She glances at me.

“He told me he was falling in love with me.”

“He did? What did you say?” Emma Rae asks.

“Nothing.” I look out the side window. “I care for Nick, and we have fun, but I don’t think I’ll ever fall in love with him.”

“Why? I mean, you seem pretty compatible.”

“We’re compatible, but…” I shrug.

“No passion?” Emma Rae presses.

“No, not really.”
I want there to be
, I tell myself.
Don’t I?
“Nick wants more, but I’ve told him I’m not ready.”

“You never mentioned anything about that!” Emma Rae exclaims, glancing at me as she pulls into Murphy’s parking lot. She parks, shuts off the engine, faces me, and waits. That’s one of the best things about Emma Rae. She’s patient when you need her to be.

“I keep thinking I’ll feel more, and it’ll happen. I mean, I enjoy kissing him, and he’s a good kisser, but...”

“He just doesn’t crank your tractor,” she informs me. I bust out laughing. “What?” She starts laughing too. We sit and laugh uncontrollably for several minutes.

I wipe my eyes. “No, he doesn’t... crank my tractor!” That sets us off again.

Once we can control ourselves, we head inside. Since we work at Murphy’s, it’s impossible just to run in and grab what we need. By the time we get back to the car, we’ve been in Murphy’s for thirty minutes. Sawyer called the store to tell us to get a move on and pick up some dip for the chips.

As we drive to the Shotgun Shack, we pick our previous conversation right up.

“Don’t misunderstand me, Emma Rae, I like Nick and we have a lot of fun.”

“I know what you’re saying,” she replies.

“He’s asked me to go with him and not see anyone else.” Emma Rae looks at me with surprise. “But I don’t want to lead him on when I don’t think I’ll ever feel anything more.” I sigh. “I’ve decided to tell him how I feel. It’s only fair.”

She’s frowning as we pull up and park by Jake’s truck. “One good thing…” she says as she opens the door to the Shotgun Shack. “If something happens and you do break up, at least you’re not in love with him.”

It’s my turn to look surprised. I don’t think about what she’s said until much later.