Swift (14 page)

My alarm rang, startling me out of a deep sleep. I threw the covers off and marched to the bathroom for a hot shower. Aunt Rose’s door was closed, so I assumed that she was home from her shift and still sleeping. After breakfast, I threw together a lunch and headed out for work.

Things at the library were slow, and the day dragged on. Secretly, I hoped that Blake would show his face and brighten my day, but there was no sign of him. It was a strange feeling, the need to see him again. Or maybe it was more of a desire, but it felt all the same to me: an ache in my heart, a yearning to see his face, hear his voice, and feel his presence. But, want or need … it didn’t matter what feeling it was, because he never showed.

That night Aunt Rose and I spent the evening cooking and watching chick flicks. It felt nice, and it was exactly what I needed to get my mind off of Blake. After the second movie, I called it a night and headed upstairs to bed.

That was the first night in a couple weeks that I dreamed. It started off normal, pleasant even. I was walking along an unfamiliar beach. The sand was pearl white, and it felt soft as silk on my bare feet. I looked above me and noticed the sky was dark grey, filled with black, ominous clouds, like a bad storm was rolling in. There was not another soul on the beach. There was actually nothing else out there but the water, the sand, and me.

I was conscious that I was dreaming, so I figured the dream must have a point. All the dreams I had had in the past meant something, so this one must have one, too, right? I continued walking on the soft, white-sanded, beach. Even though the sky was grey and my skin was covered in goose bumps, it was peaceful there. After what felt like miles of walking, I looked down at my feet, which were beginning to ache.

My dream took a drastic turn. I was stunned to notice I was walking on black, coarse sand that hurt my feet with each step. Also, I was not alone anymore. I sensed someone behind me. Then I heard a voice. Faint at first, but it began to get louder and louder. Finally I was able to make out what the voice was saying. It was saying my name, calling for me. I stopped walking, listening to the voice, hoping I could pinpoint where and who it was coming from. Spinning around and around, I searched for the person. The voice sounded oddly familiar, and I had to admit that it would have been nice to see a familiar face just then. The next time the voice called my name, it was even louder and more demanding, angry, even. Maybe I didn’t want to see whoever was calling me after all.

I opened my eyes, suddenly awake, and I realized that I was not in the comfort of my bed like I should’ve been.

“Meredith!” A soft, deep voice from behind me shouted again.

I didn’t turn around. I ignored the voice, instead focusing on my surroundings. Panic set in, and my whole world began to spin. I felt dizzy the moment I realized that I was outside, and white puffs of light came into my vision. Looking around, I gathered that I was standing in the middle of a dark street, in my pajamas, barefoot.

Then I remembered the voice. It had come from behind me. Spinning around, I found Blake focusing on me with a distraught stare. Then I realized where I was: I was standing in the middle of Estate Lane.

“Blake ...” I swallowed, trying to find more words, but nothing came to mind.

“What are you doing out here so late?” he asked sternly as he approached me, still keeping his distance. He was probably afraid of me or what I might do. Hell, by that point, so was I.

“Um” was all I could find to say. I don’t think my heart had ever beaten so fast. I grasped my chest in order to try and calm it down, but it didn’t help. Maybe I would go into cardiac arrest, allowing me an easy way out of this embarrassing and confusing situation.

“Are you okay? Do you need to sit down?” he asked again, taking a few steps closer.

I nodded, my wobbly legs falling a few steps backward, finally finding the curb. I collapsed down on it and began to rub my temples using my forefingers.

“Would you like me to get you something to drink, or eat? You don’t look so good.” His voice sounded frantic in my now ringing ears.

I shook my head. For some reason, the idea of him leaving me scared me more than anything. “No, please don’t leave. I will ... be fine. Just give me a sec.”

A couple more deep breaths later, I felt that I was able to communicate again. “You scared the crap out of me,” I choked out.

“I scared the crap out of
you
? What are you doing out here so late, Meredith?” he demanded, and I could tell that his voice held a bit of anger in it.

In all honesty, I had no idea what I was doing out there. I had no idea how I had just walked almost two miles without fully realizing it. I had been dreaming about walking, but I hadn’t realized that I was actually
walking
. The only way to answer his question was to lie; I mean, I didn’t want to add “walking zombie” to my grand list of qualities.

“Just ta-taking a walk. Ne-needed to get out of the house for a while,” I answered, barely getting out each word. I stared at the ground, in hopes of avoiding any eye contact, knowing that would make the lie easier to pull off.

“Walking late and way out here all alone is probably not a good idea,” he said firmly, his tone ripping through my already wounded ego.

“You are out walking—late and by yourself,” I said in defense, starting to regain my normal heartbeat.

He chuckled. “That’s a very accurate observation.”

And when a smile crossed his face, I began to feel more at ease.

“Do you realize that you’re wearing just a nightshirt and you’re barefoot?” he questioned, trying to suppress his smile.

I nodded. What else could I do? Deny it?

“Would you like me to walk you home?” he asked.

I nodded again.

As I shifted my body to stand, it jarred my vision and my legs began to feel unsteady. Noticing this, Blake reached out, grabbing me and holding me steady.

“You can tell me, you know,” Blake said as we began to walk.

My heart sank. “Tell you what?”

“Anything. I just might understand more than you think.”

In a weird way, I felt like I could tell him and that he would understand. But I couldn’t. How could I possibly explain to him that I had visions of creepy men and weird dreams of the past and that I sleepwalked? That was definitely not the type of conversation I wanted to have with a guy who I was possibly interested in. It actually wasn’t a conversation I wanted to have with anyone.

“Okay, when you are ready, then,” he said, squeezing my arm, which he was still holding.

Chapter Twelve

The next morning I awoke to the sound of rain. It felt like I hadn’t slept in a decade, but that was probably because I hadn’t slept much the previous night. It almost seemed like a dream, walking all the way over to Estate Lane and running into Blake. But it hadn’t been a dream. The cuts that still lingered on the bottoms of my feet gave me a quick reminder of that the moment they touched the floor. I could also still smell Blake’s scent all over me. He had practically carried me the entire way home. Despite the pain my feet were giving me, I got ready quickly, knowing I would have a long and painful walk to work in the rain. It was times like that that I really regretted not having a car.

When I got downstairs, I saw that Aunt Rose had left me a note:

It was raining when I left this morning, so I asked Jack to come and give you a ride to work. He should be here around 8:45 a.m.

AR

I exhaled, knowing that I would be able to avoid the wet and painful walk to work all because I had the best aunt in the world. A part of me did not feel like I deserved someone like Aunt Rose. She was so caring, loving, and sweet. My life would probably not be so difficult if I had just inherited one of those traits. Glancing up at the clock, I realized I still had about ten minutes before Jack would show up. I ate my breakfast slowly, knowing there was no need to rush. Just after rinsing my bowl in the sink, I heard two honks coming from out front. I grabbed my purse and backpack and headed toward the door.

“Hey Meredith, do you think you would be okay alone in the house for a few days?” Jack asked as we pulled up to the stop sign at Maple Avenue.

“Um, sure. I’m alone in the house all the time.”

“Yeah, I know, but I’m talking for a few days. Maybe like five or so.”

He glanced over at me, I guess to measure my reaction. I really had no reason to care. It was not like being alone for that long would be much different than what I was used to. More than anything, I was just curious to what he was up to. “Sure, Jack, it’s no problem. What’s up, though?” I asked, hoping I was not prying too much.

“Well.” He paused before continuing. “I’m going to ask Rose to marry me.”

My mouth dropped open. I stared at him for a moment in total shock, and then I couldn’t help but mirror his smile.
Finally
was the first word that popped into my head. They had been dating for three years by that point and were practically married, except for the whole living-together thing. And I’m guessing that had been for my benefit—Aunt Rose trying to be a good role model and all.

“That’s great news! I’m so happy for you guys,” I said.

“We’ll see. She still has to say yes.”

On the inside, I rolled my eyes, knowing that Aunt Rose was probably going to say
yes
before he even finished asking. Scream it, even.

“But I don’t understand. Why would you be gone for that many days?” I asked.

“Well, the few times we have talked about marriage, we agreed that we would want a quick and simple ceremony and a really nice honeymoon.”

“Sounds like her.” I nodded, still not able to wash the smile from my face.

I could barely contain my excitement, knowing that Aunt Rose was about to get the life that she had always deserved. Her entire life had been uprooted the moment she moved into my house to take care of me. Aunt Rose never really had an opportunity to date, get married, and then have a family. And even though she had a choice in taking care of me, there was no doubt that she had sacrificed because of that decision. And recently, there were times where I had felt guilty, knowing that I would be leaving her after that summer and she would be all alone in the house. But now she would have Jack … and who knows? Maybe they would start a family of their own. Butterflies filled my stomach in anticipation of the life that I hoped she would have.

We pulled up to the library. I opened the car door and stepped out, thanking Jack for the ride and wishing him luck with the proposal. It was hard to concentrate at work, given everything that was on my mind. I was preoccupied with the news that Jack had just told me. And I couldn’t forget about the events that had happened the night before; they haunted me all day. A part of me wanted everything that had happened the previous night to be a dream. I did not want to believe that I was capable of sleepwalking. I mean, that’s for crazy people, right?

I kept thinking about Blake, longing to see him again. All day my eyes were focused on the doors, hoping that Blake would eventually walk through them. But much to my dismay, he never showed. Maybe he is trying to avoid me, I thought. Maybe he realizes that I am some sort of freak and he wants nothing to do with me.

When work ended, I pulled my purse and backpack out from under the counter before telling Ms. Donaldson goodbye.

“Would you like me to drive you home, dear? The sky still looks pretty dark, and I would hate for you to get stuck in the rain.”

“No, thanks. I should be fine.” The rain had been on-and-off all day. I hoped that it would remain off for just fifteen more minutes so I could get home. My feet still ached from the last night’s excursion, but after standing all day I was somewhat used to the pain.

When I walked outside, I turned and saw that I had someone waiting for me on the bench. My heart began to flutter as Blake’s eyes met mine and he began to walk toward me. A part of me felt as though I should be embarrassed in front of him, but there were no such feelings. The only feelings I had were anticipation of being close to him again.

“Do you mind if I walk you home? I want to make sure you get there okay and don’t end up in the next town or anything.” He smiled as he got within a few feet of me.

I glared up at him, but I was also able to appreciate his humor. It was nice to have someone to joke around with since Roger had been gone.

“Sounds great. But where were you this morning? It would have been nice to have my personal bodyguard then, too,” I joked.

“But this morning you had a ride to work, right? With Jack?”

I stared at him, shock crossing my face. “How did you know?” I asked.

“Don’t get too excited. I’m not a psychic or anything. I came over this morning and had every intention of walking you, but then I saw Jack pull up and you run out.”

“Oh.” His thoughtful and flattering response threw me. Could he really have cared so much that I made it to work safely?

We began to walk, and it was hard for me not to stare at him. I searched my brain for something to say, but nothing came to mind.