Swift (25 page)

“If I thought it was the best thing for you, of course I would take you—but it’s not the right decision.” His voice was firm. “You just started your training, and it would put you in too much danger. It would be a risk for you and us to have you there.”

I couldn’t speak; all I could do was hold on as tight as possible.

We lay on my couch all evening, just holding each other. I knew the feeling of safety from being in his arms would soon be gone, and I wanted to enjoy it while I could.

I felt Blake take in a deep breath and let out a sigh before he began to speak. “Meredith, I have to go.”

At that moment, I knew he was really leaving, and I felt an overwhelming hunger to know as much as possible about what would become of him, even though deep down I knew I was just delaying the inevitable.

“What are you all planning to do? You have to tell me something, I have to know something …” I said, standing myself and following him to the door as he got up to leave.

“Shh.” He held his finger up to my lips in order to quiet them.

He wiped the tears from my cheek and moved the hair out of my eyes as he lightly traced the curvature of my face, beginning at my temple and all the way down to my chin, ending at my lips. Then he kissed me, gently at first, then more urgently. I felt the burning desire start in my stomach and work its way up all the way to my lips. After being so exhausted from the last few hours of crying, it was as though my heart was revived as it began to beat again at full speed, so fast that it almost burst out of my chest. He pulled back and held me in a tight embrace.

After a few deep breaths, I was finally able to look him in the face. Somehow I was able to control the stream of tears that so badly wanted to escape again. “What am I supposed to do without you?” I spoke, my voice raspy from crying.

“I will be back for you soon,” he promised.

Soon? Was that all he could give me? I guess it was a lot to ask for a specific date and time … but
soon
seemed so indefinite.

“The days apart from you will be the hardest days of my life.” I sighed, placing my forehead on his chest. “You have no idea how much I will miss you.”

“Oh, I think I will have somewhat of an idea,” he spoke softly in my ear.

“Promise me something?”

“Anything.”

“Promise me that you will never forget me.” I spoke as clearly as I could. “No matter what.”

“That is definitely a promise I can keep.”

“Tell Abby, Annette, and Samuel thank you—for everything.” I choked back my tears.

After one last kiss, he opened the door and turned to walk away. Not able to move, I stood there in the doorway, watching his figure slip deep into the shadows of the night. I couldn’t help but hope that he would come back for one last kiss, one last goodbye. But as much as I wanted it, I knew it would just be more painful if he did.

When I finally dragged myself back inside, I was too tired to wash my face or brush my teeth. I just crawled into bed and curled up into a ball, holding myself as tightly as possible. The emptiness, the solitude, and the pain were overwhelming. I lay in bed staring at the ceiling, hoping that Blake, Abby, Samuel, and Annette would find their way back to their time safely. What if something went wrong on the way back and they never made it? What if this was all just a trap? What if Alex and Isaac had planned this all along? What if they were waiting for them to leave so they could have me all to themselves? Were there more witches out there? Now that my powers had been summoned, would they try to get to me?  I wondered if magic was a part of my time like it was in their time. Did other witches exist around me?

I lay there thinking of a million questions, knowing they would probably all go unanswered. The only people in the world who knew anything about me, the real me, were not just in some other city or state. They were in an entirely different century. As much as I tried to fight it, I knew the reality. There were so many things that could go wrong and keep him from ever coming back. I tried to not think those thoughts. Instead I tried to focus on the positive one: that he could come back … He had promised me that he would.

The hours after he left were torturous and allowed me no sleep. So I stared at the ceiling, and my thoughts drifted to Blake, Abby, Annette, and Samuel. I thought about what they were risking to save me. Why? I wondered. I am no one. They say that I am this all-powerful Astoria, the most powerful witch to exist in two hundred years, but all I can do is move a leaf and a rock with my mind. I can’t fly or say the simplest of spells without difficulty. Abby, who was supposed to my teacher, left after only three days into my training. How am I supposed to be this great and powerful witch and help save the people who now mean so much to me?

Light was beginning to break through my bedroom window, and I knew that it was the start of a new day, even though I hadn’t slept. But the day felt different. I knew that Blake and his family were gone.

I also knew that Aunt Rose and Jack would be back from their honeymoon that day, and I would have to explain myself if I couldn’t dry my tears. My alarm rang out, startling me back into reality, letting me know it was time to get up and go to work.

Chapter Twenty

I performed the bare minimum morning ritual, brushing my teeth, washing my face, and changing my clothes. I just didn’t have enough energy in me to do much else. When I opened the front door, a part of me hoped to see Blake there, leaning against my tree, waiting to walk me to work. But of course he wasn’t. He was in some other time, some other century trying to fight some evil to save my life. Ugh, it was just so difficult to wrap my head around.

Ms. Donaldson eyed me suspiciously all day, but she didn’t ask me any questions. Regrettably, work flew by. Deep down, I knew why—because I had spent the whole day worrying about what I would do when Aunt Rose and Jack came home. They would be back from their honeymoon, expecting me to be the same girl they had left a few days ago, the same girl who was still planning on leaving soon to go to London. But I wasn’t that girl anymore. My plans for London were definitely on hold. I mean, how I could leave when Blake had promised me he was going to come back for me? I had to at least give him a chance to keep his promise. Plus, I had this whole new life that I had not known about before. It made sense to stay until I got it figured out. Now I just had to find a way to explain that to Aunt Rose and Jack.

After work I was still not ready to face going home. I still had no idea of what I was going to say. So instead I went for a walk that led me to the docks and the small white boat Blake and I had gone to Tinkers Island in just a few days ago. I stepped in, and the boat rocked right and left under my weight, and I wished Blake were there to balance me. I grabbed the two oars and began to sweep myself out over the ocean. The afternoon sun was straight above me, and it only took a few minutes until I was dripping in sweat. Turning my head, I looked to see how far I was from the other shoreline. It still looked far enough to be a daunting task, but desperation pushed me onward. I wanted so badly to get to the place Blake and I had been the other night, to help me feel close to him again.

A few minutes later, I had to let go of the oars and let my burning arms rest. I wondered how Blake had made it all the way over without stopping and breathing heavy like I was just then. Just thinking of him sent fresh determination pulsing through my veins. I picked the oars up and began to paddle harder, faster. This would be so much easier if I had just learned how to fly, I thought to myself. I would have been there twenty minutes ago.

As I got closer to the beach, my heart began to ache. It took just about all of my remaining strength to pull the boat up onto the shore, enough so it would not get swept back into the ocean. After taking my shoes off, I walked along the beach until I came upon the wall of rocks. Without Blake’s help, I was relegated to crawling in order to ensure that I wouldn’t fall and break something. When I reached the bench, I collapsed down onto it, breathing heavily for a moment and feeling as though I had just completed a triathlon. The physical and emotional exhaustion, coupled with not sleeping the night before, put me right to sleep.

I dreamt of Blake, a quiet dream where we didn’t talk. It was just the two of us, sitting next to each other in the very spot I was sleeping. We smiled occasionally at one another and looked happy, fulfilled, even, like we didn’t have a care in the world: no sadness, no fear, no pain.

I woke up crying again, and the streaming tears burnt my already red and swollen eyes. I told myself it would just be temporary, that I would see him again and then nothing would ever keep us apart. Sitting up, I peeled my drenched shirt away from my burning hot skin. My hair was plastered to the left side of my face and the nape of my neck.

Eventually, I made it back to the beach, and I scooped up some water, rubbing it up and down my arms and around my neck, trying to rinse off the sweat. Then I pushed the boat off the sandy bank and jumped into it just when it was floating on enough water, mimicking what I saw Blake do.

I knew that Aunt Rose and Jack were probably already home, wondering where on earth I was. Guilt filled me, but I still couldn’t find it within me to face them. My selfish demeanor shocked me. How could I do this to them?

After yet more difficult rowing, finally the boat smashed into the wooden dock. I jumped onto it, not even bothering to tie the boat off, knowing it would be gone in the currents in no time, but I didn’t care. I found myself running as fast as I could back to town. But I was not running to my house, I was running to the Harper Estate. I had to see they were gone with my own eyes. My head already knew the truth, but my heart was telling me to prove it. I hated when my heart and head disagreed; it only made it that much harder to deal with things.

By the time I got to Estate Lane, my lungs were on fire. I bent over and rested my hands on my knees, trying to catch my breath. When my breathing began to even out, I continued on. The Harper Estate had changed so much since the first time I’d come there. From the outside, the large stone home was still as beautiful and peaceful as I remembered it. They had done wonders in restoring it, restoring it back to their home from their time. But as I walked up the stone circular drive, my heart began to ache. I was sure that the inside was going to be different ... the house would be empty. It was as if I could hear the emptiness, echoing throughout the house. This time Blake would not be on the other side of the door with a smiling face and open arms to welcome me.

Maybe it was too soon; maybe I was not ready for this. For a long minute, I hesitated as to what I should do. Taking a deep breath, I pushed all thoughts away and focused on turning the large gold knob. There was no use in knocking; I knew all too well that no one was home. The desolation was spilling out of every crack and crevice of the old house.

Gone were the books that lined the floor to ceiling bookshelves, as were the paintings that Blake had painted over the summer. A small smile broke across my face as I visualized Abby reading a disappearing spell in order to erase any evidence of their lives there in that time. I walked down the long hallway and stood in the kitchen, seeing nothing but a small stack of books lying on the island:
Beginners Guide to
Witchcraft
and Abby’s personal spell book! I was shocked that she had left it. She had said that she never went anywhere without it. I opened it up and read the words she left for me:

Dear Meredith,

I leave these for you to practice becoming a strong and wise witch. Don’t give up on your destiny, and don’t give up on us. We will see each other again, one day.

     Love,

     Abby

I sighed, fighting off the tears, gripping the books close to my chest
.
I walked through the rest of the house, finding one empty room after the next. I left Blake’s room for last, knowing it would be the most difficult. As I sat on the foot of his bed, I noticed an envelope lying on his pillow with my name on it.

Meredith,

I am hoping this letter will find you. I am sure your heart is breaking, and I will never be able to explain to you how sorry I am for that. When we came here to this time, I was not expecting this. It was for your safety that I came here and for your safety that I left. You must know that leaving you was the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make. We will meet again.

                                                                                                   Forever and always,

     Blake

That was it. There was no way to hold back the tears any longer. I curled up on his bed, burying my head in his pillow and breathing in the scent that he had left behind. The tears I cried were not tears of sadness, but tears of joy. The letter had helped me feel close to him again; being in his room and reading the letter had made me feel like what we had was real. He loved me, and he was hurting, too. Somewhere in some other time and place, he was missing me. It was horrible to admit to myself that him hurting was a positive thing, but in some twisted way, it gave me comfort. For a few hours, I stayed curled up on his bed, thinking about the time we had spent together, hoping that he would keep his promise and we would see each other again.