Swindled in Paradise (20 page)

“Let me guess, after that, he clapped his hand over his heart and swore he couldn’t live without you. Insistent that you were the one he’d been looking for.”

“It’s the accent.”

“How did you leave it?”

“Warned Preston to be very careful, watch his back and, if he breaks up with her, don’t for any reason leave her unattended inside his home.”

Chapter 27

“This is a disgusting area,” I mumbled as soon as we exited the interstate. “This is the kind of area that would trigger the GPS warning, if you hadn’t been fooling around with it. I predict a loud, noisy fight in French when Didier finds out. Have I told you how much it annoys me that you don’t bicker in English, so I can eavesdrop?”

“I’ve lost count.” She grinned.

“See this?” I held up my foot. “I’m going to put it someplace unpleasant if you don’t stop messing with the GPS. I should make you take me home and let you come back by yourself—in your car.”

“Look, we’re here, and not a single gunshot’s come our way.”

“We still have to get out of here. Did you see the attention the Hummer attracted?”

The Storage Box was surrounded by a twelve-foot chain-link fence topped with razor wire. The signs read “protected by mean dogs,” and were possibly more effective than the video surveillance adopted by their more upscale competition. I had yet to locate camera one—that would work in our favor if we had to come back.

“How did Ursula find this place? And when she got here, why didn’t she turn around?” I asked.

The office building was a cement square. The windows were covered with hand-painted advertising that was barely visible behind the iron bars that crisscrossed them.

“Ursula’s a smart one. The location may have been the selling factor. She’d never run into anyone she knew around here.” Fab drove down the miniscule driveway and into one of the two parking spaces in front of the office, which was protected by a barred security door. An electric gate was off to one side for easy access to the rest of the lot. “It’s easy enough to get in and have a look around, providing they have available units. But how do we verify that Ursula has a unit here? If she does, we need the number.”

“Something doesn’t feel right. Miss Snooty coming here and renting anything…this may be a dead end. I’m tired, I want to go home,” I added, sounding like a five-year old. “I want to stop for those little homemade tacos and eat them on the beach.”

“Don’t make me drag you out of this car.” She glared.

“Go ahead, I dare you. Sure, you’ll kick my ass, but you’ll be looking a little bedraggled yourself.”
At least I hoped so.

“Are you done, Drama Queen?”

“Not quite yet.” I took a deep breath. “Okay, now I am. Let’s just go in and bribe the owner. Looks like a place that could use a few extra bucks.”

The front door was locked, but there was a hand-drawn sign with an arrow pointing to the doorbell. The sound was loud enough to wake the dead. After a second ring, the door buzzed and swung open. Standing behind the counter was a pimply twenty-something. It was hard to tell if we’d woken him up or if he looked like this all the time. His eyes were fogged over, and his hair bunched in a roll on the top of his head. His shirt and shorts were a wrinkled mess and in desperate need of a wash.

“Is the owner in?” Fab stepped over the threshold, not waiting for an invitation.

“Pops got better things to do,” he answered in a bored tone. “I can help you with
anything
ma’am,” he sneered as he ran his eyes over Fab’s body.

Fab turned to me and rubbed her thumb across her middle and forefinger.
Why did the woman never carry cash?
She preferred plastic, which mystified me. At times like these, plastic got you nowhere. I fished cash out of the pocket earmarked for bribe money.

“We’ve got a business proposition for you.” Fab waved a fifty under his nose. “We want information on one of your units.”

“You cops?” He squinted in my direction and dismissed me, his eyes returning to Fab. “What do you want to know? Then I can let you know if you’ll need to run to the ATM.”

I gave him my newly perfected creepy smile. “Don’t get greedy.”

“I have to measure the risk. What if I lost my job?”

Greedy and crafty,
I thought.

“Does Ursula Richards have a unit here?” Fab asked.

He plucked the money from Fab’s fingers and made it disappear under the counter. “I’m here every day, and I’d remember a name like that.” He pulled up a screen on his computer and double-checked, shaking his head, his finger running down the screen. “Nope.”

I pulled my phone out of my pocket, flipped it open, and held it out to him. “Do you recognize her?”

“Yeah. She’s a snot-ass with a better-than-everyone attitude.” He scanned the list again. “She used another name…here it is—Pearl Gardner. Let me know she was too good for this place, yet here she was, standing at my little counter, doing her damnedest to negotiate the price down.” His eyes on the computer, he added, “Rented one of our largest units, paid three months up front. Couple of days later, a big-ass moving truck unloaded her stuff, and I haven’t seen her since. I remember because I thought it was weird that the van didn’t have any advertising on the side. It had been painted over.”

Fab rested her elbows on the counter and smiled at him. “How about letting us look around the inside of the unit?”

I refrained from making a retching noise.

“Yeah—no! I don’t have a key.” He held his hands out. “But if I did, that would cost you because I’d have to go along and make sure you didn’t steal anything.”

Fab leaned in and stage-whispered conspiratorially to him, “I’ll get us in and out. Long enough for a look and a couple of pictures. Ursula will never know we got inside. It will be our little secret.”

“How much?” I asked.

“Three more of these.” He held up the money, fanning it in front of his nose. “As a bonus, you two can look all you want and this—” he took the additional money from my fingers. “Buys my silence. I won’t ever tell anyone you were here. What’s the story?” he asked as he grabbed the phone lying on the counter and unlocked a steel door. “Follow me, girlies.”

“For what you were just paid, you don’t get any details,” I grouched as I fell in behind Fab, smacking her in the back.

“You don’t have to worry about cameras recording anything; we don’t have any. Never had a break-in. We’ve got three Dobermans that patrol the property at night and are better than any security guard we could hire. Even if they fall asleep, they wake up at the slightest noise.” He pointed to the rolled razor wire fence. “Don’t like a person’s chances of climbing over, only to end up as a snack for the dogs.” He threw his head back and laughed. “Unit’s over here in the last aisle.”

Ursula had chosen an end location in the farthest corner of the lot. Fab popped the lock with precision and shoved up the rolling door.

Nothing prepared me for the mess inside. My mouth dropped open in shock, and that rarely happened as not much surprised me. But this… A ten-foot mountain of trash: furniture broken into pieces, cushions and pillows slashed, men’s clothing shredded, bits of glass everywhere. It didn’t look as though a single item had escaped her wrath.

“What the hell?” the man exclaimed. “People leave trash behind all the time, but this is going to cost big to haul away. Bitch!” He banged his fist on the wall.

Fab walked the inside perimeter, taking picture after picture; outside, she took several long shots.

I stepped around the mess, but didn’t see a single fixture, appliance, cabinet, or anything that had been attached to the house. I’d suspected all along that she’d hired workers to do the interior demolition, then found some disreputable outfit that wouldn’t ask questions and would pay her for the second-hand items that could easily be sold.

“She’s not coming back, and the deposit won’t cover the cleanup.” The man twitched from one foot to the other in barely controlled anger.

“Sorry about the mess.” Fab handed him the lock. “Thanks for your help.” She grabbed my arm and pulled me into the driveway. “Let’s get out of here.”

He shouted after us, “Wait up, you need me to get out the gate.”

“Ursula is dangerous,” I whispered to Fab. “You need to warn your new hottie friend. It’s hard to imagine that she ripped apart Ian’s personal belongings with her own talons, but if she did, she’s damn scary.”

Fab made a grunting noise and otherwise ignored me.

The young guy ran by us to open the gate.

Turning to our accomplice, I warned, “If for some reason Ursula comes back, pretend ignorance. She’s obviously unhinged.”

Chapter 28

I derailed Fab’s plan to drive straight home, asking her in a whiny voice to stop at The Taco Stand for a cardboard tray of their homemade specialty. I’d stopped one day at the family-run place to check out the competition and fallen in love with their hottest selling item—mini-tacos.

We zipped through the drive-through and took our food home, spreading it out on the patio table. I changed into my bathing suit in record time, grabbed bottles of cold water, and slid into a chair next to Fab, who was already in her suit. Today was proof that she actually could perform a wardrobe change in record time.

Fab grabbed a pile of napkins, and on a cutting board in front of her, she sliced a lime and an orange for our waters.

“Next time, margaritas.” I toasted Fab.

Fab’s smile disappeared when her phone rang. She picked it up and answered, “What’s up?”

I scowled at her when she didn’t hit the speaker button. When she hung up, I’d definitely be reminding her that not sharing calls wasn’t part of our agreement.

“Behave yourself,” she said into the phone, tapping her fingernail incessantly on the tabletop, making an annoying clicking sound.

I put my hand over hers and held it there. Her voice lacked the irritation level that she reserved for most everyone, which had me jumping to the conclusion that it was one of her slimy clients.

“Got it.” She rolled her eyes. “I know––yesterday. Call you back.” She banged her phone down on the table.

“What dirty little job do you have for us now?” I asked on a sigh, refilling our glasses.

“He’s such an arrogant dick.”

I shook my head. “There’s too many choices for me to guess.”

“Preston Sinclair! When we met and I relayed in great detail all about the deranged Ursula, his response was to laugh. After some time to think, he’s not laughing now. He sounded agitated. Told me every time he looks at her, she creeps him out. He wanted to know if she attacked the last boyfriend and if she was prone to physical violence in any way.”

“He’s looking out for little Preston.” I made kissy noises. My guess was that part of his anatomy had done all the thinking when he met the woman.

Fab gave me her best imitation of a “behave yourself” look.

“Oh stop that, you’re so bad at it.”

She tried again. “Your mother said it was perfect.” She pouted.

I shook my head. “Mother hates to hurt your feelings. Get back to the convo.” I stabbed at the phone. “What else?”

“Preston wants Ursula out of the condo—pronto. He did a drive-by on Ian’s house, and now he’s afraid of what Ursula will do to his place. Apparently, she cornered him last night about his sudden loss of affection.”

“I suppose he can’t tell her he has cramps.” I sighed when I finished off the last taco, licking my lips. I stood and swept the trash into a paper bag, taking it to the trash can. I wished the recycle bin’s lid was open so I could practice my slam dunk, but instead lifted the lid and dropped my water bottle inside.

“Preston told her he strained a muscle during a workout.” Fab pointed downward and laughed. “He’s going out of town next week and wants us to organize her eviction and stay at the condo until he gets back. The best part? Ursula is supportive of his injury. She’s playing nursey. He’s certain she has no idea it’s the end of the romance.”

“Old Pres doesn’t get to keep his hands pristine.” I wiped away a non-existent tear. “We can move her out, but someone has to tell her she doesn’t live there anymore, and it won’t be one of us. Once we’ve finalized a real plan, you’ll call him back and tell him.”

“That’s one thing I appreciate about you, your attention to detail.”

“You think on it, and I bet you can come up with several things,” I said. “Let me guess, is this a freebie?” I’d eavesdropped closely enough, and I hadn’t heard a word about an envelope full of cash.

Lightning flashed in the sky, one thousand one, one thousand two, and a long boom of thunder rolled across the area, signaling that the storm was close by.

“You rope me into gratis stuff all the time. Do I complain?” Fab waved me in the direction of the house.

“
Every
single time,” I said in exasperation and followed as it began to sprinkle.

“You’re spoiled, working for Brick and the freshly printed hundreds he hands out,” she whined and flounced down on the couch, kicking her feet up.

I chuckled, piled up several pillows on the daybed, and lay down next to Jazz, then hit the remote, turning on the overhead ceiling fans. “When Brick handed me my first envelope of cash, I took it to the bank to find out if it was real.”

“You did not,” Fab gasped. “What did they say?”

“I have a favorite teller, who knows I own The Cottages and that I come in with the occasional bundle of money. I told her a tourist paid in cash, and I just wanted to be sure it was real. She laughed and informed me that most people, if they had a doubt, wouldn’t say a word and instead spend it all around town.”

“That’s a good way to go to jail.” Fab pulled a notepad out of one of the drawers in the coffee table, jabbing at it with a pen. “Have you come up with a plan for getting rid of Ms. Ursula yet?”

I eyed Jazz sleeping along my side and wished I could join him in a nap. If only I could figure out how to fall asleep in ten seconds. “I get that men hate messy breakups, but can’t Preston toss Ursula to the curb himself?”

Fab snapped the beach-themed pen in half in irritation.