SWOLLEN: A Secret Baby Sports Romance (38 page)

“
You won’t tell anyone I had to?”

“
It’ll be our secret.”

“
Good, because my arms are fucking killing me.”

Landon half lowers half drops me to the water. To be fair, he has been holding me up in the air for a while, much longer than I expected. I’m impressed, even though I’m not going to tell him so. We tread water a little, spinning slowly in a neat little circle.

“
What else do you need?”

“
Not much. A bed and a jacuzzi is a good start. Somewhere to art.”

We both smile at that.

“
A studio?”

“
A space. I’m not a professional yet remember.”

“
You will be soon though, right?”

“
That’s the two year plan. Although who knows what will happen? If someone told me i’d be skinny dipping with my stepbrother in a lake in the middle of nowhere after knowing him for five days, I would have told them they were mad.”

“
Where else are you going to go skinny dipping if not in a lake in the middle of nowhere?”

I have to splash water at him for that.

“
What do you do when this is all over?”

“
The same thing I always do. Play football.”

“
And chase girls?”

“
I’m hoping I won’t need to do that.”

I get water splashed back at me for that.

“
You’ve got to look after me.”

“
You don’t seem all that difficult to please.”

“
Artists are complicated people.”

“
Don’t sell yourself too short now.”

“
Just a warning, you know, for when the honeymoon period is over and you start getting bored of me.”

“
You seem to have a clear picture of a future that hasn’t even happened yet.”

“
I’m thinking about that jacuzzi.”

“
Finally.”

Landon begins to swim towards me.

“
I just don’t want to be used up and tossed away like an old football, that’s all.”

I allow him to gather me up in his arms again, so I can press myself against his chest and lose myself in his body warmth. I feel stupid for saying it straight like that, without even hiding it in a mask of subtext, but I feel like we’re at the point where I need it to be said.

“
Don’t worry, Tilly. I wouldn’t do that to family.”

“
When are you going to stop being a smart-ass?”

“
When I know you don’t enjoy me doing it anymore.”

“
You know, that cockiness is going to get you into trouble one day.”

“
I think it already has.”

Landon notices me shivering a little now that we’ve stopped swimming around.

“
Come on, let’s get back to the car. It might take us a while to find somewhere selling condoms, and the last thing we want is for your mom and my dad to get concerned about our whereabouts.”

“
They’re probably just as happy about the time alone as we are. They are newlyweds after all.”

“
That’s gross, Tilly.”

“
I’m just saying.”

Wrapped around his back, Landon carries me out of the water and back up towards the car. It isn’t raining any more, but the sun is disappearing quickly across the horizon and tonight feels like it’s going to get cold.

“
Do you think they know?”

“
About us? No way.”

In the car, Landon starts the engine and turns on the heater. We huddle together in front of it trying to get dry.

“
Mom was acting weird this morning, she might have heard us last night.”

Landon shakes his head.

“
No-one heard us last night. I think you’re just being paranoid. She didn’t seem weird when I got up.”

“
Maybe we should hold off tonight, I don’t know whether I can be that quiet again.”

“
I don’t know whether I can hold off.”

“
I knew it.”

“
Knew what.”

“
You wouldn’t be able to resist me.”

“
What can I say? You’re an attractive girl, you’re smart too, well balanced. You even like jacuzzis.”

“
Maybe we would make a good couple.”

“
How do you figure that?”

“
Because I seem to be immune to your bullshit.”

“
Now you’re just being nice.”

It takes so long for the heater to get us dry, we give up in the end and pull clothes back on over wet legs and arms.

“
Next time we’ll have to bring a towel.”

“
What will your mom say when she finds out we’ve been swimming?”

“
She’s not going to find out, it was raining when we left remember?”

“
Good thinking, Tilly.”

“
Not just a pretty face.”

“
No, I hear you’re training to be an artist too.”

“
Shut up and get us back home.”

“
Bored of me already?”

“
I’m hungry. If we’re going to fuck again tonight, I’m going to need some more energy.”

“
See?”

“
What?”

“
You really can’t resist me.”

“
Then we are just as bad as each other.”

Landon pulls the car around and guides it back onto the road.

“
I knew we wouldn’t be able to stop once we started.”

“
You or me?”

Landon doesn’t answer that one. He just gives me one of his panty melting looks instead that tells me the question is rhetorical.

“
Think we can get away with it tomorrow as well?”

“
Maybe your dad will be well enough to go for a long walk, while we finally sit in that jacuzzi.”

“
You wouldn’t prefer doing it on a bed instead?”

“
There’s plenty of time for that, Landon. I don’t want to spoil you with comfort too soon.”

“
I might get bored.”

“
Or complacent.”

“
Exactly.”

“
Where are we going to buy condoms?”

“
Tilly, you’re insatiable.”

“
I’m just planning ahead. As much as I like the idea of fucking you without them, until I’m on birth control or you get a vasectomy, it’s a risk I’m not prepared to take.”

“
We’ll find them, don’t worry. I’m not ready to go under the knife just yet. Of course, there’s always anal.”

“
And I didn’t have you down as the bisexual type.”

“
Funny.”

“
I try.”

We find our way to a highway service station out on the main road, at which we fill up with gas, buy chocolate, a magazine that has a new advert of Landon in it and a large pack of condoms. This is the first time that Landon and I have been together with someone else who isn’t Mom or Marvin, in a public place doing something ordinary, and I know we aren’t it yet, but I can’t help imagine us as a normal couple in a normal relationship, doing something normal people do.

For just that briefest of moments, I forget completely that Landon is my stepbrother, and it feels absolutely incredible. At one point, I catch myself touching him in a way only two people who have been intimate would touch each other, and pull my hand away as soon as I realize as though the thing has caught on fire, just in case someone spots us.

We’re not anywhere near that moment yet and I have to be careful. The last thing I want to do is scare him off. The line between being clear about what you want and coming on too strong is a thin and murky one and I desperately don’t want to fuck it up.

Today, yesterday, tonight, tomorrow, it’s been so amazing already, it feels like a lot longer than only two days, and I want to make sure it turns into a lot more than that. I’m fairly convinced that Landon feels the same way too, but I’m not going to know for sure until we’re back in our normal lives doing that normal shit that makes us who we really are on a day to day basis. Landon’s inability to hold down a relationship, his track record, mine too, the fact that we are stepbrother and stepsister, all of those things conspire against us and if the feelings we have for each other aren’t strong enough, and our situation is too complicated to overcome, it’s all going to fall flat on it’s face before we’ve even begun, and these two days, will seem like the most distant point of a long journey we gave up on after only a few steps.

Added to that, even though he says otherwise, Landon likes chasing girls. He’s an underwear model for Christ sake, so it’s not like there isn’t a constant influx of new talent. I’d be lying if I didn’t say that bothered me. And then there is the fact that I’m going back to Uni in October. Ok, I’m only going one state across, but it does mean I’m not going to be as close to him physically as I want to be. Then there is his schedule. At home training for half of it, on the road for the other. I know not all men cheat, and Landon isn’t like that, but I worry about missing him, not being there enough for him, not being together enough for us both. And then I catch myself thinking this and realize it’s only been two days so far, and I should really just chill the fuck out and enjoy myself, except there are only two days left to do that and when we get home it could be a completely different story entirely.

“
You’ve got a glow, you know. You’ve had it for the last two days.”

“
What do you mean, a glow.”

“
Your skin, it’s kind of glowing, like your blood is warm.”

“
My blood is warm.”

“
No, but I mean, more than that. You know that look you get just after you come, well it’s like that, but sort of permanent, like it doesn’t go away.”

“
Huh.”

Landon kills the engine. We’re a back home now, just before dark. I can see Mom’s silhouette in the window waving at us.

“
I thought I should tell you, you know, just in case your Mom asks what you’ve been up to and you have to think of an excuse on the spot.”

“
Maybe it’s just my natural womanly glow.”

“
I don’t think that will cut it.”

“
You know, I think you’ve got it too.”

“
The glow?”

“
Yeah, now that you mention it. I wasn’t sure what it was before, but you’ve definitely got it.”

“
A natural womanly glow?”

“
Exactly.”

“
Maybe we can tell them it’s something we ate.”

“
Don’t, she’s probably still upset about Marvin getting sick.”

“
Are you ready?”

I nod.

“
We didn’t fuck, we just walked about in the rain and then went for a drive when the sun came out. I didn’t come. I didn’t suck anyone’s dick, especially not my stepbrother’s, and I don’t still have a tingly pussy.”

“
That’s very convincing, Tilly. I should be worried.”

“
I told you I’m an artist.”

“
Don’t forget the condoms, I don’t think I’m ready for anal quite yet.”

“
You know you’re funnier than I thought you would be.”

“
Is it true?”

“
What?”

“
About your pussy.”

“
You can tell me later on.”

Landon pays no attention to that, and I don’t stop him when he puts his hand between my legs to test just how wet I still am for him. This has nothing to do with the water from the lake either, my panties are wet simply because Landon Maddox is sat alongside me, and I know what he will want to do after dinner, when we are alone again.

“
Naughty, Tilly.”

“
You caught me.”

“
Your Mom might catch us both if we don’t get out of this car soon. Any more waving and her arm’s going to drop off.”

“
You first.”

“
Alright.”

I want to kiss him, but there is no way I can do it here with Mom peering out of the window like neighborhood watch. Right now, we have to wait until Mom and Marvin have gone to bed and Landon and I are alone again in our silence. Or in the seconds before the door opens and Mom nearly catches us at it. I could kill Landon for that, right on the doorstep, out of sight of the window, Mom’s footsteps approaching and Landon pulls my lips towards his to steal a dangerous kiss.