Sword of Darkness (19 page)

There was no decision to be made here. At least not for a boy such as him. He’d entered this world damned from birth as a nameless bastard. If he had to leave it, then it would be on his own terms.

He turned to Morgen. “I will go with you, my lady. And I will be your champion.”

“Chastity,” Elaine sneered at Galahad. “You had to pick that one, huh?”

Morgen laughed in triumph as she turned toward Elaine and Galahad. “Welcome to my world, boy. I promise you, you will be glad you chose my cause…”

Seren closed her eyes as those memories faded, to be followed by others of Kerrigan and his service to Morgen.

Like all the others before her, the queen had lied to him.

There was no peace in her service. He had power, and wealth, but nothing else. There was no comfort. No friendship. No warmth. Only lies and enemies had awaited him.

The sword was as much a curse as it was a blessing.

Overwhelmed by his emotions and her own, Seren felt herself slipping. Falling.

She didn’t want to live like that. Alone. Suspicious. Cold. Ever watchful and angry. Ever cruel.

Closing her eyes, she saw herself again at the loom in their small shop. Wendlyn was there,
laughing while they worked. Marie was handing them more thread. The sun was bright as people walked before their window, peeping in at them.

“When I am married,” Wendlyn said cheerfully, “I shall bring peppermint tarts here for all of you and tell you tales of how great it is to own your own shop.”

Marie laughed. Her blue eyes twinkled with good-natured humor. “Well, when I am married, I shan’t have enough time away from my husband to be visiting the likes of you.”

Sara, who was far too skinny and pale, had scoffed at her. “What of you, Seren?”

Seren had paused in her work to stare dreamily out the window at a passing couple with a small child between them as they crossed the street. “When I am married, I will come back with my husband and liberate whoever is still working here. I shall offer you all jobs and we will eat peppermint tarts until our bellies ache.”

Wendlyn had leaned over then and given her a hug. “Our Seren, ever thinking of us first.” She’d squeezed her hard before she returned to her work. “You will have your husband. I know it. And he will be a fine man indeed.”

“Aye,” Marie had agreed. “Only the best for our Seren.”

Only the best…

Seren opened her eyes to find herself sitting on the floor in Kerrigan’s lap. He had his arms wrapped around her as he continued to rock her gently.

The voices of the past were silent now. All gone.
They left a peculiar emptiness inside her. She felt the same and yet she didn’t. She had more knowledge now. It was as if she were somehow connected to the universe around her. She could feel the force of it. The beauty. The power.

Her body trembling, she reached up to place her hand to Kerrigan’s cheek. For once, his skin wasn’t cold. It was almost a normal temperature. His whiskers scraped her palm as he opened his eyes to stare down at her.

Time seemed suspended as their gazes locked and held. There was nothing more hidden between them. She had glimpsed this man’s heart and found it every bit as cold and merciless as he had claimed.

In his life, he’d known nothing but suffering as those around him used him for their own purposes. The insults of his past echoed in her head. They stung and they mocked.

And she learned that there were some scars that never healed. Some pain that time didn’t dull.

Her poor Kerrigan…

Wanting to comfort him, she pulled his head down so that she could capture his lips with her own.

Kerrigan cupped her head in his palm as he opened his mouth to welcome her inside him. He’d had no idea of what sharing his powers with her would do to them.

Now he knew.

For the first time in his life, he’d seen another existence from the inside of it. He’d heard the gentle sound of her mother’s voice. Had heard the
laughter of the women she worked with. The acceptance. The love. It boggled him.

But more than that, it tore him asunder. Now he knew what he’d never known. He was privy to normality. To kindness and caring. No wonder his little mouse was so calm and gentle.

Pain seized him as he realized that such a life was forbidden to something like him. There would never be such decency in his world. No laughter or comfort. He’d made his decision long ago to be a demon lord and to live among others who were cruel like him.

His child, however, was another matter. He wouldn’t allow it to be born in Camelot. Not with Morgen and her court there to corrupt and ruin him.

No matter what it took, he would see Seren and this child safe.

Somehow he would find a place for them so that she could live and give love to a part of him that he would never know. A part of him that he wouldn’t see or hold. His child…

It was for the best.

Pulling back from their kiss, he offered her a smile. “You’ve been through much this day, my lady. You should rest.”

Seren drew a deep breath as her fingers lingered on his mouth to toy with his lips. “I am tired, and at the same time, I’m not.” She glanced up from his lips to those dark eyes that smoldered with his fire. She remembered now what they had looked like as she’d seen him before Morgen had entered his world. “Your eyes used to be blue.”

“That was a long time ago.”

Seren leaned back against his chest so that she could see him better. “Tomorrow we will stand together and we will fight Morgen.”

He shook his head. “We can’t. It will still take some time for you to get used to those powers inside you. There are times even now when mine get the better of me.”

“Perhaps, but I feel so peaceful right now. At ease. It’s as if I’ve always had my powers.” She kissed his scarred knuckles and inhaled the warm scent of his skin.

Kerrigan wished he could make her understand the truth of what she was feeling. But to be honest, he was enjoying this moment with her. He was warm. Most of all, he was at peace. There were no angry voices that wanted to strike out and hurt whoever was near him. There was no pain.

There was just the two of them lost in this one moment.

But tomorrow would be a different story. Tomorrow Morgen would meet them and he would be weak. Seren would have her powers, but no real experience wielding them. Their only hope rested in the hands of a grouchy gargoyle who might or might not betray them.

Damn. How he wished that he could take them someplace far away from here. Someplace where there was no Morgen, no magic.

Your life is ever one of wanting.

It was true. Wanting more was what had led him to be here with her. It was what had led him to her.

And on the morrow, it would be what most
likely led him to his death. Because as he held Seren in his arms, one thing became painfully clear. His exchange with Seren hadn’t changed her nearly as much as it had changed him. He wasn’t what he’d been…

You were changed before you initiated her.

It was true and he knew it.

Caring for her was a weakness. It left him vulnerable, and he held no doubt that Morgen already knew it was his Achilles’ heel. If he made one misstep, one tiny miscalculation on the morrow, Morgen would win and he would be dead.

Kerrigan spent the night lying in bed with Seren.
The demon within him wanted to leave her, but the man didn’t, and that was the part he’d been listening to. His sword was fastened on the wall above his head while they were entwined naked underneath the covers.

His body ached from the strain of the shield, and even now he could hear the gargoyles and dragons outside, trying to tear through it. Tomorrow, he hoped, they would be free of this.

Oblivious to the sounds outside, Seren was draped over his chest, sleeping peacefully while he toyed with her silken hair. Her breath tickled his chest and made his nipple pucker every time she exhaled.

He knew that he should leave. He had no business allowing this little creature into his withered heart.

No one could ever be trusted. Yet she filled him
with unknown emotions that weren’t violent or cold. And as he lay with her in his arms, he began to have even more peculiar thoughts.

He imagined her holding his child…caring for it.

In his mind, he could see himself as a merchant, working in his shop with her by his side as their children ran about, laughing and playing. He could see the sunlight streaming in through the large windows, highlighting the pale hair of a young daughter as she laughed and tried to catch the beam in her chubby hand.

Seren’s sweet voice filled his ears with praise for their daughter’s accomplishment…

“Oh, you are an imbecile,” he breathed, banishing those images. What an insipid dream. Merchants and peasants were pawns. They were fools and beggars.

He was a king. Granted, king of the damned, but king nonetheless. And the world was his for the taking.

His coronation had been in blood and in fire. In truth, he liked it. He didn’t want to be kind or compassionate. Ruthlessness was the only thing that served a man well. The weak suffered while the mighty took what they wanted.

And he was mighty.

He would never again be that pathetic, thieving peasant who was mocked and belittled by others. Those days were blissfully past, and they would never come again. He would make sure of it.

Kerrigan felt the warmth draining out of him.
The fire returned to his eyes. Leaning his head back, he felt the magic flow through him once more like chilled wine that invaded every corner of his soul. Aye, he was formidable, and he fully intended to stay that way. Strength was all that was respected in this world and in Camelot. And his strength more than all the others.

His resolve set, he moved out from under Seren and dressed himself in his armor.

Refusing to look at her, he pulled Caliburn down and strapped it to his hips. The time for weakness was past. This had been a nice interlude with Seren, and he would make sure that his child didn’t suffer. But in the end, he had to return to what he was.

The king of the bad asses. There was no place in his world for a consort. There was only room at the top for one person and that was he. He didn’t need Seren and her petty emotions tying him to her. All he needed was his sword and his magic. To hell with everything else.

Seren sighed as her dream turned to a sweet, warm day as she’d known in her youth before she’d become an apprentice. Her mother had taken a job with the tailor of a small village in Yorkshire.

While her mother worked, she was playing in a field not far from the cottage of the woman who watched after her. She wore her pale green kirtle that her mother had stitched with yellow dragons along the hem. It was her favorite gown.

With her head thrown back, she was turning circles in the field, watching the beautiful blue sky spin around and around above her.

“Seren?”

She paused in her play at the sound of her mother’s cadent voice. She stumbled a bit as the dizziness hit her. “Aye, Mother?”

As her mother drew near and her dizziness passed, she realized that she wasn’t a little girl anymore. She was a woman full-grown.

She was herself.

Pausing in front of her, her mother brushed the hair back from her face and smiled sweetly at her before she kissed her brow. “You’ve changed much, my little treasure.”

A stinging wave of grief consumed her as she heard her mother’s blessed voice again. Tears welled in her eyes. “I’ve missed you, Mama.”

Her mother’s lips trembled. Unlike Seren, her mother was one of the most beautiful of women. Her hair was a darker shade of blond, with honey gold highlights. As a child, she’d spent hours brushing her mother’s hair at night before her mother plaited it. Her hair had always smelled of spring flowers. It’d been softer than the best woven silk. Those precious memories flooded her now and made her ache to her very soul.

“I have missed you, too, my Seren,” her mother said in a tender voice. “I hear you whispering to me sometimes in the quiet haven where I stay.” Her features showed her own pain and grief as she cupped Seren’s cheek in her palm. “Many
times, I’ve wanted to answer you, but couldn’t. But you were never alone, my precious daughter. Never.”

A tear of joyful sorrow slid from the corner of her eye. “Why are you here now?”

Her mother reached under the neckline of her golden gown to pull out a small medallion. It reminded her much of the one Kerrigan wore. It held the same star with a dragon. “It is past time for you to have this.”

Her mother placed it in the palm of her hand and closed her fist over it. She held Seren’s fist in both of her hands. “Your great-great grandfather was the one who betrayed his king and set all of this into motion. He allowed evil to seduce him, and he made a fatal mistake that destroyed the fellowship of Arthur’s Table. We are of the bloodline of Emrys Penmerlin, and the daughter you carry now will one day meet the same challenge as our progenitor. I don’t know what she’ll choose. But if she follows in his footsteps, the world will be forever lost to Morgen and her demons.”

Her mother wiped away the tear from her face. “Don’t cry, Seren. Not for me. I’m at peace, child. I kept you safe until you were able to grow up, and now…your life is up to you. It will be what you make it.”

If only it were that simple, but Seren knew better. There was so much that wasn’t in her control. “What of Kerrigan?”

Her mother’s gaze turned distant, as if she were
hiding something from her. “His path is his own as well, and it’s not for me to say. But you must be strong, child. Listen with your heart, and don’t let others deceive you.”

“But how will I know if they’re deceiving me?”

“Seren?”

She turned at the sound of a deep masculine voice. Her mother began to fade.

“Mama, wait! Please don’t leave me.”

But her mother vanished anyway.

“Mama!” Seren woke up with tears in her eyes to find Blaise standing beside her bed.

He blinked twice at her. “Sorry, Seren, I’m not female.” He frowned. “Actually, I’m not sorry that I’m not a female, but I am sorry that I’m not your mother…Then again, I’m not really sorry about that, either. Basically, I’m not sorry at all, I just felt the need to say something.”

Irritated at him, Seren glanced about the room. There was no sign of her mother. No sign of her dream…at least not until she realized that there was something in her hand.

Looking down, she found the medallion right where her mother had placed it. Her heart raced at the sight of her medallion, but she kept it from Blaise. She didn’t know why. It just wasn’t something she wanted to share.

“Where’s Kerrigan?”

“He’s in the hall, waiting for you.” Blaise moved forward and handed her the scarlet tunic that she’d made for Kerrigan.

Seren frowned.

“He wants you to wear it. Just in case.”

Her frown melted into a smile at his thoughtfulness. “I’ll be down in just a moment.”

Blaise nodded before he left her alone.

Her thoughts churning over her dream, Seren scooted out of bed. There was a chill in the air. Or was it in her body? She couldn’t really tell. All she knew was that it was frigid and eerie.

Dismissing the feeling, she quickly fastened the necklace and donned her clothes, then joined the men downstairs.

Unaware of her appearance in the great hall, Kerrigan was again dressed in his black armor while Blaise was dressed in a brown tunic and hose, with his white hair left free to hang down his back.

“Do I look like a woman?” Blaise asked Kerrigan, who was sitting in one of the chairs before the hearth.

“Aye.”

Blaise looked completely offended by his quick response. “Excuse me?”

“What?” Kerrigan gave him an innocent expression. “You want me to lie?”

Blaise folded his arms over his chest in an angry gesture. “I don’t look like a woman.”

“Then why did you ask me?”

“Seren thought I was her mother when I went to wake her.” He reached up and wrapped his hand in his hair. “Maybe I should cut this.”

“Wouldn’t help. Then you’d just look like an
ugly
woman.”

Releasing his hair, Blaise glared at him. “Oh thank you, Lord Darkness. Do me a favor, never
hire yourself out to work for a suicide hotline.”

“Suicide hotline?” Seren asked as she moved closer to them. “What is that?”

Blaise turned to face her. “It’s…” He paused and looked as if he were searching for a way to define it. “Never mind. It truly won’t make any sense to you.”

She was beginning to wonder if they spoke in esoteric fashion on purpose just to confuse her. “Well, if it makes you feel any better, you don’t look like a woman. Kerrigan does.”

Kerrigan snorted from his chair. “Hardly.”

Blaise considered that for a moment. “Only if the woman is tall, hairy, and bearded. Come to think of it, you do remind me of a hag who used to live in Camelot.”

Kerrigan narrowed his red eyes on the mandrake. “Shut up.”

Seren tsked at Kerrigan and the venom he was releasing. “He’s in a mood, isn’t he?” she asked Blaise.

“Aye, and he’s been like that all morning. What? Did you not share the blanket with him?”

“I said
enough
.”

Seren scowled at Kerrigan’s angry tone. He reminded her of the day she’d first met him. Blustering and threatening. Gone was the tenderness he’d shown her lately. “Did I do something wrong?”

An unnamed emotion flitted across his face before he shook his head. He rose to his feet. “We have to meet the gargoyles soon. Before we do, I have to explain what’s going to happen. When I drop the shield, I will have to feed from you im
mediately. You will have to submit to me. If you choose to fight, it could very well kill you. Do you understand?”

Aye, she fully understood that. She didn’t like it, but she understood it.

She nodded.

“It’s going to hurt, Seren,” Blaise said quietly. “Probably a lot.”

She swallowed at his grave tone. “How badly?”

It was Kerrigan who answered. “Bad enough that you will want to run away, but if you do, I won’t be able to control it. If I lose control…”

She was dead, most like. Seren drew a ragged breath at the seriousness of their situation. “Very well. I shall endure whatever pain you cause.”

Blaise gave her a look of respect. “You’re a braver man than I am.”

“Woman, you mean.”

He screwed his face up at her. “There you go again, calling me a woman.” He met Kerrigan’s gaze. “I swear, she’s giving me a complex.”

Seren shook her head at his play, not that she understood that last bit exactly. But she had a good idea of the gist of it.

Looking at Kerrigan, she sobered as she noticed that he lacked their humor.

She approached him, only to have him move away. “Are you sure that you’re all right, my lord?”

“I am fine.” His tone was sharp and clipped.

Sighing, she nodded. “So when does the shield fall?”

“As soon as we go outside.” Kerrigan looked past her, to Blaise. “Once I have enough power, I’ll
transport all of us from here into the future where Morgen won’t be able to follow with her army. I figure the twentieth century should do.”

Blaise sighed. “Seren won’t understand anything there.”

“Does it matter? At least there if a dragon or gargoyle pops through, they’ll get shot down by the humans before they come near us. They may be fierce, but not even they can survive napalm or an armed missile. Once radar registers them, they’ll be dealt with and they know it. It should keep them out of our way at least for a while.”

“What is the twentieth century?” Seren asked.

Blaise let out a deep breath. “A world unlike anything you can imagine.” He looked back at Kerrigan. “It’ll mess with her sensibilities.”

“Can you think of someplace better?”

“Not really. You’re right about their weapons. But do you think that’ll keep Morgen at bay?”

“Nay. However, the Adoni will only be able to come through the portal two at a time without alerting the military. We should be able to handle that with little problem.”

Blaise nodded. “What about the gargoyles who are with us? They don’t exactly blend during daylight hours.”

“Let them find a building to sit on. They’re not my problem. All I promised them was an escape from Morgen. What they do after that is their business.”

Blaise looked at her. “Have you ever noticed that he really enjoys being evil?”

“Aye.” But the strangest part of all was that there was something about that that she found alluring, almost endearing. “What can I do to help in this?”

“Don’t die,” they said in unison.

“I can honestly say that I will do my best to stay alive.”

“Good,” Blaise said as he walked over to the window to look outside. “Garafyn is leading them down the hill as he promised.”

Kerrigan was staring at her with an undefinable expression that tugged at her heart. There was something about it that reminded her of the boy she’d glimpsed the day before when they had shared their blood.

He wasn’t as cold toward her as he was pretending, and it was the man in him that set fire to her blood. There was something about being in his presence that made her ache to want to touch him.

But they didn’t have time for that now.

Kerrigan turned his gaze away from Seren toward Blaise. “Remember that shifting us through time will weaken me even more, and I won’t be able to recharge from Seren again. It’ll be up to you and the gargoyles to fight whatever might follow us through.”